Re: What size am I? New territory

[Guest guest]

That's like me when I went to a wls support group meeting a couple of

months a go and someone asked me when I was going to have my

surgery!!!

The thing is, I am still so fat. And this is not body dysmorphia..I

really am very obese at 234 1/4 (notice the weight change!). I

always had the idea when I was a 24 that a size 16 was normal, if not

relatively small.

Now I realize I have to change my perception of reality. I can't

judge my health by clothes size, just like I can't judge my weight

loss success by the number on the scale.

Although intellectually I know these things, it takes time to churn

them around in my mind and come up with a new belief system.

Maybe I WILL be quite " small " at 190 lbs. and maybe that is where

I'll settle. Maybe 170 lbs. as stated on the weight charts isn't for

me. Then again, maybe not.

I'm learning that I'm going to have to let my mind free float for the

rest of this journey because I can't depend on my current belief

system.

And I am a (tight in some cases) regular, not W, 16 now. I have to

call Newport News and hope they haven't sent my order of 18W clothes

yet.

Finally, although I'm pretty happy and steady, I can hear the faints

fear alarm ringing in the recesses of my chest. I have never been

this size in my adult life (except for about 3 weeks in college).

This is unchartered territory for me.

My usual (before) modus operendi would be to sabatoge myself at this

point for fear of not being able to achieve success. A dismal self-

fulfilling prophecy.

But I'm going the distance, no matter how long it takes. I expect

three steps forwards, one or two steps back, three steps forward. I

have to be patient and forgiving of myself while remaining steadfast

and diligint.

Vicki A.

> On the other size of the " what size " coin...I'm laughing about this

now, but

> it wasn't funny at the time...

> Last week, I had to go to a tailor's shop to order a jacket for and

> organization in which I've been elected as an officer. The

gentleman who was

> assisting me asked what size I wear, and then stated, " 14? "

Harrumph! I've

> been in a 10 for years now, and recently got down to an 8. I then

politely

> asked him to fit me in a men's jacket, because they are cut longer

(sleeves

> and length), and because I wanted mine to look the same as the

guys. The

> darts in the front were exactly the same, only the buttons (right

over left,

> as opposed to left over right), were different from the women's

sizes. I

> kept my mouth shut about his mis-guessing my size, but at the time,

it

> irritated me. I wanted to ask him, " Just how big do you think I am? "

> Instead, I just redirected him to what I really wanted.

> I guess WE can be mistaken about the size we wear, but we can

darned sure

> get mad if someone else makes that same mistake!

>

> Jac

> mailto:jholdaway@c...

> before and after pictures at:

> http://hometown.aol.com/jrandjrholdaway

> http://www.pictureitdigitaldesigns.com/

> http://members.cox.net/xxxfarmpaints

[Guest guest]

That's like me when I went to a wls support group meeting a couple of

months a go and someone asked me when I was going to have my

surgery!!!

The thing is, I am still so fat. And this is not body dysmorphia..I

really am very obese at 234 1/4 (notice the weight change!). I

always had the idea when I was a 24 that a size 16 was normal, if not

relatively small.

Now I realize I have to change my perception of reality. I can't

judge my health by clothes size, just like I can't judge my weight

loss success by the number on the scale.

Although intellectually I know these things, it takes time to churn

them around in my mind and come up with a new belief system.

Maybe I WILL be quite " small " at 190 lbs. and maybe that is where

I'll settle. Maybe 170 lbs. as stated on the weight charts isn't for

me. Then again, maybe not.

I'm learning that I'm going to have to let my mind free float for the

rest of this journey because I can't depend on my current belief

system.

And I am a (tight in some cases) regular, not W, 16 now. I have to

call Newport News and hope they haven't sent my order of 18W clothes

yet.

Finally, although I'm pretty happy and steady, I can hear the faints

fear alarm ringing in the recesses of my chest. I have never been

this size in my adult life (except for about 3 weeks in college).

This is unchartered territory for me.

My usual (before) modus operendi would be to sabatoge myself at this

point for fear of not being able to achieve success. A dismal self-

fulfilling prophecy.

But I'm going the distance, no matter how long it takes. I expect

three steps forwards, one or two steps back, three steps forward. I

have to be patient and forgiving of myself while remaining steadfast

and diligint.

Vicki A.

> On the other size of the " what size " coin...I'm laughing about this

now, but

> it wasn't funny at the time...

> Last week, I had to go to a tailor's shop to order a jacket for and

> organization in which I've been elected as an officer. The

gentleman who was

> assisting me asked what size I wear, and then stated, " 14? "

Harrumph! I've

> been in a 10 for years now, and recently got down to an 8. I then

politely

> asked him to fit me in a men's jacket, because they are cut longer

(sleeves

> and length), and because I wanted mine to look the same as the

guys. The

> darts in the front were exactly the same, only the buttons (right

over left,

> as opposed to left over right), were different from the women's

sizes. I

> kept my mouth shut about his mis-guessing my size, but at the time,

it

> irritated me. I wanted to ask him, " Just how big do you think I am? "

> Instead, I just redirected him to what I really wanted.

> I guess WE can be mistaken about the size we wear, but we can

darned sure

> get mad if someone else makes that same mistake!

>

> Jac

> mailto:jholdaway@c...

> before and after pictures at:

> http://hometown.aol.com/jrandjrholdaway

> http://www.pictureitdigitaldesigns.com/

> http://members.cox.net/xxxfarmpaints