Halloween Humor from Relles

October 31, 2002

1. This ifirst one is cute but...WARNING - WARNING - WARNING : Open in private

with sound....

http://www.cutestuf.com/flash_1002/bluemoon.swf

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

>

> 2. Hope this one shows up (thanks Lauri)

> BOoOooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>

>> It's the time of year when we all need to be reminded of our Halloween

>> Safety Tips:

>

>>

>> 1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if

>> it's really dead

>> 2. Never (ever) read a book of demon summoning aloud, not even as a joke.

>> 3. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has gone out.

>> 4. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language that they

>> should not know, kill them immediately. It will save you a lot of trouble in

>> the long run. However, it will probably take several rounds to kill them, so

>> be prepared. This also applies to kids who speak with somebody else's voice.

>> 5. When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER pair off and go it alone.

>> 6. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open the portals to Hell.

>> 7. Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. This would apply to

>> any other house of the dead as well.

>> 8. If you're searching for something which caused a loud noise and find out

>> that it's just the cat, GET THE HELL OUT!

>> 9. If appliances start operating by themselves, do not check for short

>> circuits. Just get out!

>> 10. Do not take ANYTHING from the dead.

>> 11. If you find a town that looks deserted, there's probably a good reason

>> for it. Don't stop and look around.

>> 12. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know

>> what you're doing.

>> 13. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least

>> twice. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster

>> is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with

>> you.

>> 14. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior

>> such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness,

>> multi-level marketing, and so on, kill them immediately.

>> 15. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed

>> here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (you're in trouble if you

>> recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.

>> 16. If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not go to the

>> nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help. If you think that it is

>> strange because you thought you had a full tank, shoot yourself instead. You

>> are going to die anyway, and most likely while being eaten alive.

>> 17. If you find that your house is built upon a cemetery, now is the time to

>> move in with the in-laws. This applies to houses that had previous

>> inhabitants who went mad or died in some horrible fashion, or had

>> inhabitants who performed satanic practices in your house.

>> 18. If you enter a house and a disembodied voice tells you to " GET OUT, "

>> listen to the helpful voice and leave.

>> 19. Creepy old houses, campsites, or castles are never good places for a

>> party.

>> 20. If anyone offers you $1,000,000 if you just stay the night in a house,

>> just leave and go buy a lottery ticket. Your chances of winning the lottery

>> are slightly higher then your chances of living through the night.

>>

>> HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

>

October 31, 2002