Individual Path Trudging and Vision Beyond the Smoke

[Guest guest]

Ceep Mom Wrote This Part:

1. Eating disorder: Just as a reminder to all of us who have struggled so

greatly over so many years: The phrase 'eating disorder' is thrown about

sometimes a mite too trivially in our modern culture. It is a serious,

serious disorder that often is undergirded by an undiagnosed anxiety

disorder

and/or panic disorder. (or organic depression)

Dan S. wrote this in response:

Dear Ceep Mom:

Once again you have addressed an issue for me, one that I deal with every

day in a personal, direct fashion with magnificent clarity. I think I wrote

a post a few weeks back about starting to get more active daily now after my

last surgery bout some six months ago and encountering a full blown panic

attack in the middle of a professional seminar and the thoughts I had about

it all later. In summary, now that a great deal of physical healing has

occurred and there has been three years of true healthy or healthier living

physically, mentally and spiritually, I have surmised that I have some

individual clarity about the most baffling, confusing constant in my life.

Why on earth did I do some of the things I did and why on earth did I do

them when I did? Now that the smoke and heat of dealing with results of

engaging in engaging in behaviors to ease the difficulty I encountered, I am

in a position to isolate the prime issue in my own situation and you have

done it eloquently here! I am that person who has had a general anxiety

disorder and suffered panic attacks my entire life. I was just admonished

usually for all my character failings by those who had the most influence in

my life at the time when the really destructive things came about. In

other words I was usually the recipient of corrective or misleading advice

and actions on the part of others. Who knew? I am just saying that you

have describe me very well here and I am grateful for the calmness it brings

with it when I feel like there " is " someone who understands and I am just

not off on the planet Jupiter alone looking back at planet Earth and

watching " moderate " folks live good lives while mine is marred by total

failure to function. I now equate that to demanding of myself that I do

five mile hike with a broken leg - - untreated unhealed leg of course!

Ceep Mom wrote this part too:

2. Food as Soporific: There are other people who 'relax ' with food. One

could say that their symptom or cue to eat is catalyzed by a mood shift or

change. For them, most often learning other ways to calm down helps them

greatly moderate what they eat. They tend to go to carbs because certain

carbs calm the body, make it even a little sleepy--which registers to the

body as nice and calm. When they learn their self-calming techniques -- and

use them consistently--there's the key-- they do just fine. (these are often

the same folk who say they eat when happy, when sad, when scared, when mad,

etc.)

Dan S. wrote this in response!

Reporting in on my recommitment to healthier eating and accepting the

support of others who are attempting to share the same goal as I have to

make changes in my life, I am happy to report that yesterday was a good day

for me. Long ago I realized that I will eat at night. I will eat at night

because I feel like I have to eat at night and I need to eat or I cannot

sleep. I also include treating insomnia with Xanax, and usually a Tylenol

PM to sleep in my list of things that I now do for me that I did not know

that I needed to do for me when I was sick. I do not know why that I grow

fangs and experience all manner of night terrors (I was unaware of their

constancy and effect until the last three years or so) and I not sure that I

would expend the effort to dredge them up if the opportunity were available.

I just want to sleep, yanno?

Here is how I did yesterday: Since I know that I will need to eat at night,

I did all my supps yesterday with three protein shakes spaced during the

day. I sat at the table with family visiting from out of town while they

had a great meal, I had a shake and it was not a social issue. Later, about

two hours before I was going to sleep I ate a nice lean palm sized piece of

steak, a bite of broiled chicken and a salad. I piddled for an hour or so

doing some night chore things then off to bed after the last round of supps

and the night meds. I slept like a baby and rose at 5:30 this morning

really feeling very well and happy that I did not do something to hurt me

yesterday. I am that eater you so aptly and brilliantly described in the

paragraph above.

The difference in what I did yesterday, in concert with my online family was

that I did what I needed to do with the added support and acceptance of a

large number of other folks who share a common bond with me. I was not

alone. It was a good day. I feel good this day and look forward to another

just like yesterday and all the great things I have a chance to do today. I

will do my morning affirmations " orally " when I finish this Thank You note

for you.

Healthy Happy Dan Slone

Surgery 5/2/2000

..

[Guest guest]

Ceep Mom Wrote This Part:

1. Eating disorder: Just as a reminder to all of us who have struggled so

greatly over so many years: The phrase 'eating disorder' is thrown about

sometimes a mite too trivially in our modern culture. It is a serious,

serious disorder that often is undergirded by an undiagnosed anxiety

disorder

and/or panic disorder. (or organic depression)

Dan S. wrote this in response:

Dear Ceep Mom:

Once again you have addressed an issue for me, one that I deal with every

day in a personal, direct fashion with magnificent clarity. I think I wrote

a post a few weeks back about starting to get more active daily now after my

last surgery bout some six months ago and encountering a full blown panic

attack in the middle of a professional seminar and the thoughts I had about

it all later. In summary, now that a great deal of physical healing has

occurred and there has been three years of true healthy or healthier living

physically, mentally and spiritually, I have surmised that I have some

individual clarity about the most baffling, confusing constant in my life.

Why on earth did I do some of the things I did and why on earth did I do

them when I did? Now that the smoke and heat of dealing with results of

engaging in engaging in behaviors to ease the difficulty I encountered, I am

in a position to isolate the prime issue in my own situation and you have

done it eloquently here! I am that person who has had a general anxiety

disorder and suffered panic attacks my entire life. I was just admonished

usually for all my character failings by those who had the most influence in

my life at the time when the really destructive things came about. In

other words I was usually the recipient of corrective or misleading advice

and actions on the part of others. Who knew? I am just saying that you

have describe me very well here and I am grateful for the calmness it brings

with it when I feel like there " is " someone who understands and I am just

not off on the planet Jupiter alone looking back at planet Earth and

watching " moderate " folks live good lives while mine is marred by total

failure to function. I now equate that to demanding of myself that I do

five mile hike with a broken leg - - untreated unhealed leg of course!

Ceep Mom wrote this part too:

2. Food as Soporific: There are other people who 'relax ' with food. One

could say that their symptom or cue to eat is catalyzed by a mood shift or

change. For them, most often learning other ways to calm down helps them

greatly moderate what they eat. They tend to go to carbs because certain

carbs calm the body, make it even a little sleepy--which registers to the

body as nice and calm. When they learn their self-calming techniques -- and

use them consistently--there's the key-- they do just fine. (these are often

the same folk who say they eat when happy, when sad, when scared, when mad,

etc.)

Dan S. wrote this in response!

Reporting in on my recommitment to healthier eating and accepting the

support of others who are attempting to share the same goal as I have to

make changes in my life, I am happy to report that yesterday was a good day

for me. Long ago I realized that I will eat at night. I will eat at night

because I feel like I have to eat at night and I need to eat or I cannot

sleep. I also include treating insomnia with Xanax, and usually a Tylenol

PM to sleep in my list of things that I now do for me that I did not know

that I needed to do for me when I was sick. I do not know why that I grow

fangs and experience all manner of night terrors (I was unaware of their

constancy and effect until the last three years or so) and I not sure that I

would expend the effort to dredge them up if the opportunity were available.

I just want to sleep, yanno?

Here is how I did yesterday: Since I know that I will need to eat at night,

I did all my supps yesterday with three protein shakes spaced during the

day. I sat at the table with family visiting from out of town while they

had a great meal, I had a shake and it was not a social issue. Later, about

two hours before I was going to sleep I ate a nice lean palm sized piece of

steak, a bite of broiled chicken and a salad. I piddled for an hour or so

doing some night chore things then off to bed after the last round of supps

and the night meds. I slept like a baby and rose at 5:30 this morning

really feeling very well and happy that I did not do something to hurt me

yesterday. I am that eater you so aptly and brilliantly described in the

paragraph above.

The difference in what I did yesterday, in concert with my online family was

that I did what I needed to do with the added support and acceptance of a

large number of other folks who share a common bond with me. I was not

alone. It was a good day. I feel good this day and look forward to another

just like yesterday and all the great things I have a chance to do today. I

will do my morning affirmations " orally " when I finish this Thank You note

for you.

Healthy Happy Dan Slone

Surgery 5/2/2000

..