Guest guest Posted July 3, 2002 Report Share Posted July 3, 2002 > > but then there are the > uninformed gits > who think that 'rosacea' is some kind of exotic food ... Because 'rosacea' sounds exotic and most people don't know what it is, there are times when you can use it to your advantage. Like to get free stuff, which you deserve because you are a good person burdened with a cruel stigma. I don't mean shoplifting. I gave that up when I was 17, got arrested, and was thrown in the slammer for the night ( " This'll teach you a lesson, young lady, " quoth His Honor, a man known around these parts as " The Hanging Judge " ) with a gaggle of jaded prostitutes, all of whom made fun of my clothes and asked me if I could recommend a 'good' pimp, as their own pimps were sub par. Next time you're in a restaurant, tell the waitress you have rosacea, sigh tragically, and say, " I'm sure I'll be in a better place. " (The Cary Skin Spa, Cozumel, or Disney World, but you don't have to tell her that.) This can net you a free dessert. Lest you are shaking your head and thinking, " But Jillian, that's stealing, " let me just tell you I've worked in restaurants and know the outrageous mark-ups on these desserts. It worked for me about 5 years ago. My waitress, proudly wearing a name tag emblazoned with 'Fanny', and who had either incorrectly pegged me as a lousy tipper or had failed 'Waitressing 101' in which you are taught how not to insult customers, actually said to me in her booming drawl, " How'd you go get yer face so dang-blasted burnt. Yer head looks like a big ol' beet on yer skinny lil' neck. " I could have rejoined with " At least my Momma didn't slap me with a name that is synonymous with 'butt' " (And I did, inside my big ol' beet head) but my Momma raised me to be cordial to people even if they sling rudeness your way. So instead I let go with my " Better Place " spiel, which, to be quite honest, I had meant to sound cordially sarcastic. But 'sarcasm' couldn't register on Fanny's radar screen any better than 'tact' could. Ol' Fanny thought I was a goner. Which I plan on being, eventually. After a LOT more desserts. Fanny brought me a tiny free sliver of cheesecake topped with a few bedraggled cherries, and a free cup of coffee. I left her a big tip to make her feel a little guilty about misjudging me. You guys and dolls have a great 4th. AND BE CAREFUL! Your friend, --Jillian Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 3, 2002 Report Share Posted July 3, 2002 > > but then there are the > uninformed gits > who think that 'rosacea' is some kind of exotic food ... Because 'rosacea' sounds exotic and most people don't know what it is, there are times when you can use it to your advantage. Like to get free stuff, which you deserve because you are a good person burdened with a cruel stigma. I don't mean shoplifting. I gave that up when I was 17, got arrested, and was thrown in the slammer for the night ( " This'll teach you a lesson, young lady, " quoth His Honor, a man known around these parts as " The Hanging Judge " ) with a gaggle of jaded prostitutes, all of whom made fun of my clothes and asked me if I could recommend a 'good' pimp, as their own pimps were sub par. Next time you're in a restaurant, tell the waitress you have rosacea, sigh tragically, and say, " I'm sure I'll be in a better place. " (The Cary Skin Spa, Cozumel, or Disney World, but you don't have to tell her that.) This can net you a free dessert. Lest you are shaking your head and thinking, " But Jillian, that's stealing, " let me just tell you I've worked in restaurants and know the outrageous mark-ups on these desserts. It worked for me about 5 years ago. My waitress, proudly wearing a name tag emblazoned with 'Fanny', and who had either incorrectly pegged me as a lousy tipper or had failed 'Waitressing 101' in which you are taught how not to insult customers, actually said to me in her booming drawl, " How'd you go get yer face so dang-blasted burnt. Yer head looks like a big ol' beet on yer skinny lil' neck. " I could have rejoined with " At least my Momma didn't slap me with a name that is synonymous with 'butt' " (And I did, inside my big ol' beet head) but my Momma raised me to be cordial to people even if they sling rudeness your way. So instead I let go with my " Better Place " spiel, which, to be quite honest, I had meant to sound cordially sarcastic. But 'sarcasm' couldn't register on Fanny's radar screen any better than 'tact' could. Ol' Fanny thought I was a goner. Which I plan on being, eventually. After a LOT more desserts. Fanny brought me a tiny free sliver of cheesecake topped with a few bedraggled cherries, and a free cup of coffee. I left her a big tip to make her feel a little guilty about misjudging me. You guys and dolls have a great 4th. AND BE CAREFUL! Your friend, --Jillian Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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