Guest guest Posted October 23, 2002 Report Share Posted October 23, 2002 Barb, I haven't been able to read many of the letters but this morning is a " good one " and I'm glad I read yours....in fact I printed it off because it said so many things my heart feels....like the bible teaches me....those who " have been there " or (better whom the Lord has carried through the same valley) can comfort like those who have not experienced the valley or the sheparding can not. You experienced some things that I have not (example, dimentia or the ultimate loss) and there is things that we have experienced that you have not (total loss of ALL abilities) but I can recognize the things that we have in common and it is not all related to this " cross " . Hope you are having a pleasant and peaceful day. Love, Annette shydrager@y..., Barb <ralsk@f...> wrote: > Don, I will write a note for you to carry along. > > Doing it will not be an easy task. But nothing worthwhile is easy. May > God bless you on your trip. > > > Dr. Felicia Axelrod. and Associates. > > Don Summers has asked for some letters of commendation for you. I will > let him carry along my thoughts. > > As I see what has been done and what has to be done in the future, my > heart aches because there are so many who will die in misery before a > cure comes for MSA/SDS. Research is a much needed task, I appreciate > those who have taken an interest in this awful illness. Along with > several others, this one is such a life taker. One little bit at a time. > Then all at once when you least expect it, the loved one is gone and you > wonder what might have been done differently. Then you wake up to the > fact that nothing could have been done differently. > > All of the care givers I have learned to love and respect on this list, > wish there was a way out. But so far there isn't. I wish you well in > trying to get the funds you need to explore all of the possibilities. > > When my husband, Ralph, was first diagnosed, Don Summers was one of the > first to call me and let me know we were not alone. That was in 1995 > after so many tests and heart aches we were about to the end of our > rope. > > Dr. Dewey at SWMC in Dallas was our helper and advisor as we all > tried to contend with what he told us was terminal with no cure and no > way out. He would not let us give up tho. He said use whatever made life > better and let him know how it worked. He prescribed medication that he > told us would work for a while but in time it would not make any > difference whether Ralph used it or not. Half of the battle was > believing it would help. > > Our family physicians , Brock and Q. Mark > worked together as a team to make what days we had on the up side good. > The down times, they saw as a way to watch and try to do what was best. > They could not tell us why the illness worked as it did. Nor from > whence it came. No way to know when it would run it's course. They could > only tell us that in time everything would begin to close down and > pneumonia or a heart attack would take him. > > They were so right in the diagnosis. The autopsy proved the diagnosis. > We had falls, we had wrecks, we had surgeries, we had one blind eye. We > had dementia, hallucinations, bowel impaction, impotence, > and great anger along with confusion. We had a PEG and a Garshon feeding > tube. All of those things that were foreign to a very well organized and > gentle man. > > One truly amazing thing that happened when Ralph had surgeries was > this. The anesthesia wearing off caused him to be able to speak plainly > and loudly as tho he was not ill at all. He could sing every word along > with his Gaither music videos. But when it wore off he was like a new > born babe. Completely helpless. A friend of mine who is a physical > therapist asked me one day if there was a way to keep some of the pain > killer in him so we could see what was happening. > > In all of this Ralph never gave up but he was adamant > about not using embryos to help him. > > As so many others have told you, I saw my loving husband turn into > someone I hardly knew anymore and he saw me change into a different > person as the toll of care giving wore me down to a weary and frustrated > wife. There came a time when I was not able to give him the care he > needed at home so I had to admit him to a nursing home. It was a good > place but " not home " . He died there of pneumonia as the nurses were > taking care of him. He just slipped away into God's arms where he no > longer had to suffer the humiliation of not being able to speak, nor > see, nor able to do the common comfort things of caring for his personal > needs. > > All of the care givers do things that we never dreamed we would have to > do for and to our mates. > > It has been two years since Ralph was taken and it makes my heart ache > to read some of the notes from friends who are bound to go through what > we did when the time came. Many have already given up their mates or > loved ones. > > We were fortunate in the fact that Ralph was not completely helpless but > he would have been if the Lord had not taken him. He told our grand kids > he was ready to go and they would ask me, " Why can't Grand dad go on and > go? He does not want to stay here. " > > Yes it was a very hard ten years. Part of them just trying to figure out > what was wrong. Dr. had written on the medical records he gave to > me after Ralph died, " I do not know what this illness is. " > > In closing let me tell you this. In all my time of caring for my > husband, I hoped for a cure or at least something to stop the > progression of it. But it was not to be. if you and your associates can > make it happen you will be blessed. > > Thank you for caring. > > Mrs.Barbara Selleck 905 Belvedere Drive Arlington, Texas 76010. > -- > " Love may be priceless, but it demands a huge expenditure of time. " > --Suzanne Fields > > > > -- > " Love may be priceless, but it demands a huge expenditure of time. " > --Suzanne Fields Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 23, 2002 Report Share Posted October 23, 2002 Barb, I haven't been able to read many of the letters but this morning is a " good one " and I'm glad I read yours....in fact I printed it off because it said so many things my heart feels....like the bible teaches me....those who " have been there " or (better whom the Lord has carried through the same valley) can comfort like those who have not experienced the valley or the sheparding can not. You experienced some things that I have not (example, dimentia or the ultimate loss) and there is things that we have experienced that you have not (total loss of ALL abilities) but I can recognize the things that we have in common and it is not all related to this " cross " . Hope you are having a pleasant and peaceful day. Love, Annette shydrager@y..., Barb <ralsk@f...> wrote: > Don, I will write a note for you to carry along. > > Doing it will not be an easy task. But nothing worthwhile is easy. May > God bless you on your trip. > > > Dr. Felicia Axelrod. and Associates. > > Don Summers has asked for some letters of commendation for you. I will > let him carry along my thoughts. > > As I see what has been done and what has to be done in the future, my > heart aches because there are so many who will die in misery before a > cure comes for MSA/SDS. Research is a much needed task, I appreciate > those who have taken an interest in this awful illness. Along with > several others, this one is such a life taker. One little bit at a time. > Then all at once when you least expect it, the loved one is gone and you > wonder what might have been done differently. Then you wake up to the > fact that nothing could have been done differently. > > All of the care givers I have learned to love and respect on this list, > wish there was a way out. But so far there isn't. I wish you well in > trying to get the funds you need to explore all of the possibilities. > > When my husband, Ralph, was first diagnosed, Don Summers was one of the > first to call me and let me know we were not alone. That was in 1995 > after so many tests and heart aches we were about to the end of our > rope. > > Dr. Dewey at SWMC in Dallas was our helper and advisor as we all > tried to contend with what he told us was terminal with no cure and no > way out. He would not let us give up tho. He said use whatever made life > better and let him know how it worked. He prescribed medication that he > told us would work for a while but in time it would not make any > difference whether Ralph used it or not. Half of the battle was > believing it would help. > > Our family physicians , Brock and Q. Mark > worked together as a team to make what days we had on the up side good. > The down times, they saw as a way to watch and try to do what was best. > They could not tell us why the illness worked as it did. Nor from > whence it came. No way to know when it would run it's course. They could > only tell us that in time everything would begin to close down and > pneumonia or a heart attack would take him. > > They were so right in the diagnosis. The autopsy proved the diagnosis. > We had falls, we had wrecks, we had surgeries, we had one blind eye. We > had dementia, hallucinations, bowel impaction, impotence, > and great anger along with confusion. We had a PEG and a Garshon feeding > tube. All of those things that were foreign to a very well organized and > gentle man. > > One truly amazing thing that happened when Ralph had surgeries was > this. The anesthesia wearing off caused him to be able to speak plainly > and loudly as tho he was not ill at all. He could sing every word along > with his Gaither music videos. But when it wore off he was like a new > born babe. Completely helpless. A friend of mine who is a physical > therapist asked me one day if there was a way to keep some of the pain > killer in him so we could see what was happening. > > In all of this Ralph never gave up but he was adamant > about not using embryos to help him. > > As so many others have told you, I saw my loving husband turn into > someone I hardly knew anymore and he saw me change into a different > person as the toll of care giving wore me down to a weary and frustrated > wife. There came a time when I was not able to give him the care he > needed at home so I had to admit him to a nursing home. It was a good > place but " not home " . He died there of pneumonia as the nurses were > taking care of him. He just slipped away into God's arms where he no > longer had to suffer the humiliation of not being able to speak, nor > see, nor able to do the common comfort things of caring for his personal > needs. > > All of the care givers do things that we never dreamed we would have to > do for and to our mates. > > It has been two years since Ralph was taken and it makes my heart ache > to read some of the notes from friends who are bound to go through what > we did when the time came. Many have already given up their mates or > loved ones. > > We were fortunate in the fact that Ralph was not completely helpless but > he would have been if the Lord had not taken him. He told our grand kids > he was ready to go and they would ask me, " Why can't Grand dad go on and > go? He does not want to stay here. " > > Yes it was a very hard ten years. Part of them just trying to figure out > what was wrong. Dr. had written on the medical records he gave to > me after Ralph died, " I do not know what this illness is. " > > In closing let me tell you this. In all my time of caring for my > husband, I hoped for a cure or at least something to stop the > progression of it. But it was not to be. if you and your associates can > make it happen you will be blessed. > > Thank you for caring. > > Mrs.Barbara Selleck 905 Belvedere Drive Arlington, Texas 76010. > -- > " Love may be priceless, but it demands a huge expenditure of time. " > --Suzanne Fields > > > > -- > " Love may be priceless, but it demands a huge expenditure of time. " > --Suzanne Fields Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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