Re: Pink Ears Are Cute, Leigh!

[Guest guest]

> I'm generally blunt in my response to these morons who ask, " Why

are your

> ears so red? "

>

> At the very least, I tell these boors, " That's a rather personal

question,

> don't you think? "

>

> I'm also fond of asking, " Why is your nose so long? "

>

> Leigh Hanlon

> Chicago, USA

Non-ceans are just plain rude. Sometimes I wonder what they're

good for. I mean, they can be cute if they're housebroken, but the

constant stream of asinine questions combined with the relentless

crotch-sniffing can be downright annoying at times.

My favorite Non-cean query is, " Are you having a stroke? " (at

least this shows that they are not as self-centered as they look.)

This is the type of question that will draw a curious crowd of Non-

ceans, so you will be treated to a sea of excited people bracing

themselves for the moment you will drop dead right before their very

eyes, thereby giving them the gift of thrilling supper-time

conversation.

When you tell them No, I don't believe I'm having a stroke, they act

all disappointed, as if you just denied them membership to an

exclusive country club.

And then there are those Non-ceans that are desperate to jump

onto the cea Bandwagon – they find this disorder so fascinating

that they want it, too.

" Sometimes, when I get really sleepy, the left side of my neck gets

really pink and my right eye twitches. Do you think I have cea? "

asks the nosy man with the full grocery cart in front of you in

the " 10 items or less " lane. His eyes are shining with hope, so you

hate to let him down.

" Perhaps you should see a dermatologist; maybe you do have cea, "

you reply, waving your two containers of yogurt around his head (Yes,

you are the Food Lion authority on skin disorders!), triggering the

man to tremble with delight as he tosses a few Snickers on top of his

box of Twinkies (Damn those Non-ceans and their conspicuous

consumption of processed carbs!)

Non-ceans. I just don't understand them. But I guess we're stuck

with them.

[Guest guest]

> I'm generally blunt in my response to these morons who ask, " Why

are your

> ears so red? "

>

> At the very least, I tell these boors, " That's a rather personal

question,

> don't you think? "

>

> I'm also fond of asking, " Why is your nose so long? "

>

> Leigh Hanlon

> Chicago, USA

Non-ceans are just plain rude. Sometimes I wonder what they're

good for. I mean, they can be cute if they're housebroken, but the

constant stream of asinine questions combined with the relentless

crotch-sniffing can be downright annoying at times.

My favorite Non-cean query is, " Are you having a stroke? " (at

least this shows that they are not as self-centered as they look.)

This is the type of question that will draw a curious crowd of Non-

ceans, so you will be treated to a sea of excited people bracing

themselves for the moment you will drop dead right before their very

eyes, thereby giving them the gift of thrilling supper-time

conversation.

When you tell them No, I don't believe I'm having a stroke, they act

all disappointed, as if you just denied them membership to an

exclusive country club.

And then there are those Non-ceans that are desperate to jump

onto the cea Bandwagon – they find this disorder so fascinating

that they want it, too.

" Sometimes, when I get really sleepy, the left side of my neck gets

really pink and my right eye twitches. Do you think I have cea? "

asks the nosy man with the full grocery cart in front of you in

the " 10 items or less " lane. His eyes are shining with hope, so you

hate to let him down.

" Perhaps you should see a dermatologist; maybe you do have cea, "

you reply, waving your two containers of yogurt around his head (Yes,

you are the Food Lion authority on skin disorders!), triggering the

man to tremble with delight as he tosses a few Snickers on top of his

box of Twinkies (Damn those Non-ceans and their conspicuous

consumption of processed carbs!)

Non-ceans. I just don't understand them. But I guess we're stuck

with them.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/30/02 4:35:47 AM Mountain Daylight Time, jillians64

writes:

> Non-ceans are just plain rude. Sometimes I wonder what they're

> good for. I mean, they can be cute if they're housebroken, but the

> constant stream of asinine questions combined with the relentless

> crotch-sniffing can be downright annoying at times....

>

That was really great - and thanks, I needed a good laugh and that supplied

it! Jackie

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/30/02 4:35:47 AM Mountain Daylight Time, jillians64

writes:

> Non-ceans are just plain rude. Sometimes I wonder what they're

> good for. I mean, they can be cute if they're housebroken, but the

> constant stream of asinine questions combined with the relentless

> crotch-sniffing can be downright annoying at times....

>

That was really great - and thanks, I needed a good laugh and that supplied

it! Jackie