Re: Margaret, having a hard day

[Guest guest]

Margaret:

Hi! Cath here. Haven't been posting alot lately, but am trying

to get to some e-mails as I can. Don't be afraid to let us know you are

going through a difficult time right now. We are all here for each

other and want to help any way we can.

Where do you live? I too know what it is like without having family

around to help. It is very hard when feeling sick to keep going when

there are no extra shoulders to lean on. I have learned during those

times, I lean on God.

Personally, I went through a horrific divorce and faced many evils through

that. I learned to lean on God to carry me through. When you

feel helpless, give that feeling to God and pray for him to bring you someone

who can help. No one could have ever told me I would have been able

to get through all the trials and difficulties I have had in the past few

years. Only giving it to God and knowing he wants me to make it,

have I been able to keep going, I just pray constantly throughout

the day, ask for his help, and thank him for my daughter and all that God

has done for me.

Reading your letter brings back some of the feelings I have had in the

past with being sick with no relatives and having a child. My heart

goes out to you. Please know that we care and if you ever need to

talk, please give me a call . If money is a problem,

just call me and I will call you back.

Please don't feel like you are out there alone. Our group and

God are right beside you. Just take one moment at a time and ask

for Gods help!

Take care and keep me posted on how you are doing.

Cath

De Grays wrote:

Gosh, I feel like I just joined this list

and I just complain and

complain and I wish I didn't. I have read all the posts about stress

and

hair loss and even memory loss, and anti-depressants...I was actually

encouraged by the hair loss indication on the methotrexate label

because

I hate cutting my hair, shaving, and I am sick of this mustache

and side

burns I have developed thanks to the prednisone--I didn't

want to have

to start shaving my face!! And when I was a teenager I thought

being bald

might be cool except I have a few moles on my head, and a scar

that

might look strange!

it is funny because before I got so sick I was on Paxil because

I have

had problems with depression since my brother died last year...but

when I

was so sick, I couldn't get out of bed for about a month--I was

totally

drugged on pain killers and just in excrutiating pain--I stopped

taking

the paxil because I couldn't remember. Just this past Thursday

I had an

appointment and asked for a prescription for it...and started taking

it

yesterday--but have lost the bottle and the prescription...so,

my memory

is bad, too--I actually can't remember my train of thought most

of the

time and feel really stupid because sometimes I forget how to spell

"The"

or "and" because they don't look right...and can't remember any

vocabulary except for simple words...this really stresses me out

because

I am only my thesis away from my Master's Degree...which I feel

I will

not be able to finish--for other reasons, though.

Anyway, today has been hard...it started yesterday with my husband

needing to pack up all his "soldier" stuff and leave. I didn't

know if he

was going for good or if he would be back...I did get to pick him

up,

though, and we went on a date, stayed out late, which was hard

but

nice...but at 5 am they called and said he needed to come in immediately

for possible deployment. He was able to call me and say that he

might

come home, but all his stuff is there and when they call he is

leaving

and he can't tell me where he is going, how I can contact him,

if he can

contact me or anything.

I asked him before he left this morning to call our church...I don't

want

to get into a religious discussion, because it might get heated...as

it

has on other e-lists I'm on...anyway, he called, as he called before

he

left for 2 weeks when he was in the field, asking someone to check

up on

me--as I had started all these new medications and wasn't doing

so

well...no one ever called or came by. I did call a person who told

me she

would be by--it never happened...then I hurt my back and couldn't

leave

the apartment because of the stairs...and was just desperate, but

still

no one....I was in contact with one lady who watches my kids, and

asked

her for help, but she couldn't help me--she actually doesn't have

a phone

and she also has medical problems.

So, my husband called today and was told that people had tried and

weren't able to get in contact with me, and nothing would be done

for me

or the family until he was definately gone--not just on lock down.

I feel

so alone, and really scared right now. It is so hard for me to

carry

anything right now, even the baby...and leaving this apartment

terrifies

me...I am shaky on the stairs and get dizzy when I drive--I have

bad

vertigo...for about 3 years now...so it isn't because of medication,

but

I think it has made it worse...so, I can't do laundry or go shopping...we

would usually do all that when my husband came home at night, or

on the

weekend.

I am trying to be so positive, well, as much as possible, but I

can't

and I don't know what to do. There is no one I can call on...no

family,

no friends, nothing. I don't know exactly how to cope right now.

Totally

ironic, is that my MA is in psychology...but it is diffierent when

it is

happening to you--and I know what a counselor would tell me--get

a

support system...but where? How? this group is great, but it is

a million

miles from me, you know? I call people to figure out support...different

offices, advocacy, but still feel like I have gotten no where.

On a more positive note...I did enjoy the posts about the Hind Lick

Maneuver and the one about the 1000 marbles...and I wish I could

feel

like that...maybe when I feel better, which I hope will be really

soon

because I just don't know how much I can take...I was hospitalized

for

major depressive disorder last year...if that happened now, with

my

husband gone I would lose my children...and I wouldn't be able

to live

with that.

Well, I am just venting The baby is asleep...he has some sort

of

stomach bug...I think I will lay down, too...I hope everyone is

having a

better day than I am Take care.

Margaret

DISCLAIMER!!

WE ARE NOT MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS, THEREFORE ANY INFORMATION THAT

IS RECEIVED HERE IS FROM EXPERIENCE ONLY. PLEASE CONSULT WITH YOUR DOCTOR

BEFORE TRYING ANYTHING THAT IS SUGGESTED. WE ARE NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR YOUR

PHYSICIAN AND ARE NOT TRYING TO BE. REMEMBER EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT AND

TREATMENT MAYBE DIFFERENT FOR MANY OF US. THANK YOU

[Guest guest]

Margaret:

Hi! Cath here. Haven't been posting alot lately, but am trying

to get to some e-mails as I can. Don't be afraid to let us know you are

going through a difficult time right now. We are all here for each

other and want to help any way we can.

Where do you live? I too know what it is like without having family

around to help. It is very hard when feeling sick to keep going when

there are no extra shoulders to lean on. I have learned during those

times, I lean on God.

Personally, I went through a horrific divorce and faced many evils through

that. I learned to lean on God to carry me through. When you

feel helpless, give that feeling to God and pray for him to bring you someone

who can help. No one could have ever told me I would have been able

to get through all the trials and difficulties I have had in the past few

years. Only giving it to God and knowing he wants me to make it,

have I been able to keep going, I just pray constantly throughout

the day, ask for his help, and thank him for my daughter and all that God

has done for me.

Reading your letter brings back some of the feelings I have had in the

past with being sick with no relatives and having a child. My heart

goes out to you. Please know that we care and if you ever need to

talk, please give me a call . If money is a problem,

just call me and I will call you back.

Please don't feel like you are out there alone. Our group and

God are right beside you. Just take one moment at a time and ask

for Gods help!

Take care and keep me posted on how you are doing.

Cath

De Grays wrote:

Gosh, I feel like I just joined this list

and I just complain and

complain and I wish I didn't. I have read all the posts about stress

and

hair loss and even memory loss, and anti-depressants...I was actually

encouraged by the hair loss indication on the methotrexate label

because

I hate cutting my hair, shaving, and I am sick of this mustache

and side

burns I have developed thanks to the prednisone--I didn't

want to have

to start shaving my face!! And when I was a teenager I thought

being bald

might be cool except I have a few moles on my head, and a scar

that

might look strange!

it is funny because before I got so sick I was on Paxil because

I have

had problems with depression since my brother died last year...but

when I

was so sick, I couldn't get out of bed for about a month--I was

totally

drugged on pain killers and just in excrutiating pain--I stopped

taking

the paxil because I couldn't remember. Just this past Thursday

I had an

appointment and asked for a prescription for it...and started taking

it

yesterday--but have lost the bottle and the prescription...so,

my memory

is bad, too--I actually can't remember my train of thought most

of the

time and feel really stupid because sometimes I forget how to spell

"The"

or "and" because they don't look right...and can't remember any

vocabulary except for simple words...this really stresses me out

because

I am only my thesis away from my Master's Degree...which I feel

I will

not be able to finish--for other reasons, though.

Anyway, today has been hard...it started yesterday with my husband

needing to pack up all his "soldier" stuff and leave. I didn't

know if he

was going for good or if he would be back...I did get to pick him

up,

though, and we went on a date, stayed out late, which was hard

but

nice...but at 5 am they called and said he needed to come in immediately

for possible deployment. He was able to call me and say that he

might

come home, but all his stuff is there and when they call he is

leaving

and he can't tell me where he is going, how I can contact him,

if he can

contact me or anything.

I asked him before he left this morning to call our church...I don't

want

to get into a religious discussion, because it might get heated...as

it

has on other e-lists I'm on...anyway, he called, as he called before

he

left for 2 weeks when he was in the field, asking someone to check

up on

me--as I had started all these new medications and wasn't doing

so

well...no one ever called or came by. I did call a person who told

me she

would be by--it never happened...then I hurt my back and couldn't

leave

the apartment because of the stairs...and was just desperate, but

still

no one....I was in contact with one lady who watches my kids, and

asked

her for help, but she couldn't help me--she actually doesn't have

a phone

and she also has medical problems.

So, my husband called today and was told that people had tried and

weren't able to get in contact with me, and nothing would be done

for me

or the family until he was definately gone--not just on lock down.

I feel

so alone, and really scared right now. It is so hard for me to

carry

anything right now, even the baby...and leaving this apartment

terrifies

me...I am shaky on the stairs and get dizzy when I drive--I have

bad

vertigo...for about 3 years now...so it isn't because of medication,

but

I think it has made it worse...so, I can't do laundry or go shopping...we

would usually do all that when my husband came home at night, or

on the

weekend.

I am trying to be so positive, well, as much as possible, but I

can't

and I don't know what to do. There is no one I can call on...no

family,

no friends, nothing. I don't know exactly how to cope right now.

Totally

ironic, is that my MA is in psychology...but it is diffierent when

it is

happening to you--and I know what a counselor would tell me--get

a

support system...but where? How? this group is great, but it is

a million

miles from me, you know? I call people to figure out support...different

offices, advocacy, but still feel like I have gotten no where.

On a more positive note...I did enjoy the posts about the Hind Lick

Maneuver and the one about the 1000 marbles...and I wish I could

feel

like that...maybe when I feel better, which I hope will be really

soon

because I just don't know how much I can take...I was hospitalized

for

major depressive disorder last year...if that happened now, with

my

husband gone I would lose my children...and I wouldn't be able

to live

with that.

Well, I am just venting The baby is asleep...he has some sort

of

stomach bug...I think I will lay down, too...I hope everyone is

having a

better day than I am Take care.

Margaret

DISCLAIMER!!

WE ARE NOT MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS, THEREFORE ANY INFORMATION THAT

IS RECEIVED HERE IS FROM EXPERIENCE ONLY. PLEASE CONSULT WITH YOUR DOCTOR

BEFORE TRYING ANYTHING THAT IS SUGGESTED. WE ARE NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR YOUR

PHYSICIAN AND ARE NOT TRYING TO BE. REMEMBER EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT AND

TREATMENT MAYBE DIFFERENT FOR MANY OF US. THANK YOU