Guest guest Posted September 25, 2000 Report Share Posted September 25, 2000 Hi everyone! I am back for awhile trying to catch up on everyone. Hope all are well. Love & prayers, Judee OH,the humanity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! > > Class Reunion of a 50+ Lady > > > I had prepared for it like any intelligent woman > would. I went on a starvation diet the day before, > knowing that all the extra weight would just melt > off in 24-hours, leaving me with my sleek, trim, > high-school-girl body. > > > The last many years of careful cellulite collection > would just be gone with a snap of a finger. I knew > if I didn't eat a morsel on Friday, that I could probably > fit into my senior formal on Saturday. > > Trotting up to the attic, I pulled the gown out of > the garment bag, carried it lovingly downstairs, ran > my hand over the fabric, and hung it on the door. > I stripped naked, looked in the mirror, sighed, and > thought, 'Well, okay, maybe if I shift it all to the > back'... Bodies never have pockets where you > need them. > > Bravely, I took the gown off the hanger, unzipped > the shimmering dress and stepped gingerly into it. > I struggled, twisted, turned, and pulled, and I > got the formal all the way up to my knees-before > the zipper gave out. > I was disappointed. I wanted to wear that dress with > those silver platform sandals again and dance the > night away. > > Okay, one setback was not going to spoil my mood > for this affair. No way! > Rolling the dress into a ball and tossing it into the > corner, I turned Plan B. The black velvet caftan. > I gathered up all the goodies that I had purchased > at the drug store; the scented shower gel; the bodybuilding > and highlighting shampoo/conditioner, and the > split-end killer and shine enhancer. Soon my hair > would look like that girl's in the Pantene ads. > > Then the makeup-the under eye " ain't no lines here " > firming cream, the all-day face-lifting > gravity-fighting moisturizer with wrinkle filler > spackle; the all day " kiss me till my lips bleed, and > see if this gloss will come off " lipstick, the > bronzing face powder for that special glow...But > first, the roll-on facial hair remover. I could feel > the wrinkles shuddering in fear. > > OK - time to get ready...I jumped into the steaming > shower, soaped, lathered, rinsed, shaved, tweezed, > buffed, scrubbed, and scoured my body to a tingling > pink. I plastered my freshly scrubbed face with the > anti-wrinkle, gravity fighting, " your face will look > like a baby's butt " face cream. I set my hair on > the hot rollers. > > I felt wonderful. Ready to take on the world. Or > in this instance, my underwear. With the towel > firmly wrapped around my glistening body, I pulled out > the black lace, tummy-tucking, cellulite-pushing, > ham hock-rounding girdle, and the matching " lifting > those bosoms like they're filled with helium " bra. I > greased my body with the scented body lotion and > began the plunge. > > I pulled, stretched, tugged, hiked, folded, tucked, > twisted, shimmied, hopped, pushed, wiggled, snapped, > shook, caterpillar crawled, and kicked. Sweat poured > off my forehead but I was done. And it didn't look bad. > So I rested. A well deserved rest, too. The girdle > was on my body. > Bounce a quarter off my behind? It was tighter than a > trampoline. Can you say, " Rubber baby buggy bumper > butt? " > > Okay, so I had to take baby steps, and walk sideways, > and I couldn't move from my butt cheeks to my knees. > But I was firm! Oh no...I had to go to the > bathroom. And there wasn't a snap crotch. From now > on, undies gotta have a snap crotch. I was ready to > rip it open and re-stitch the crotch with Velcro, but > the pain factor from past experiments was still > fresh in my mind. > I quickly side stepped to the bathroom. An hour > later, I had answered nature's call and repeated > the struggle into the girdle. > > I was ready for the bra. I remembered what the > saleslady said to do. I could see her glossed lips > mouthing, " Do not fasten the bra in the front, > and twist it around. Put the bra on the way it > should beworn --- straps over the shoulders. Then > bend over > and gently place both breasts inside the cups. " > Easy if you have four hands. But, with confidence, I > put my arms into the holsters, bent over and pulled the > bra down...but the boobs weren't cooperating. I'd no > sooner tuck one in a cup, and while placing the > other, the first would slip out. I needed a strategy. > > I bounced up, and down a few times, tried to dribble > them in with short bunny hops, but that didn't work. > So, while bent over, I began rocking gently back > and forth on my heel and toes and I set 'em to > swinging. Finally, on the fourth swing, pause, and > lift, I captured the gliding glands. Quickly > fastening the back of the bra, I stood up for > examination. Back straight, slightly arched, I turned > and faced the mirror, turning front, and then > sideways. I smiled. Yes, Houston, we have lift up! > > My breasts were high, firm and there was cleavage! > I was happy until I tried to look down. I had a chin > rest. And I couldn't see my feet. I still had to put > on my pantyhose, and shoes. Oh, why did I buy > heels with buckles? > > Then I had to pee again. > I put on my sweats, fixed myself a drink, ordered > pizza, and skipped the reunion. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 25, 2000 Report Share Posted September 25, 2000 Hi everyone! I am back for awhile trying to catch up on everyone. Hope all are well. Love & prayers, Judee OH,the humanity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! > > Class Reunion of a 50+ Lady > > > I had prepared for it like any intelligent woman > would. I went on a starvation diet the day before, > knowing that all the extra weight would just melt > off in 24-hours, leaving me with my sleek, trim, > high-school-girl body. > > > The last many years of careful cellulite collection > would just be gone with a snap of a finger. I knew > if I didn't eat a morsel on Friday, that I could probably > fit into my senior formal on Saturday. > > Trotting up to the attic, I pulled the gown out of > the garment bag, carried it lovingly downstairs, ran > my hand over the fabric, and hung it on the door. > I stripped naked, looked in the mirror, sighed, and > thought, 'Well, okay, maybe if I shift it all to the > back'... Bodies never have pockets where you > need them. > > Bravely, I took the gown off the hanger, unzipped > the shimmering dress and stepped gingerly into it. > I struggled, twisted, turned, and pulled, and I > got the formal all the way up to my knees-before > the zipper gave out. > I was disappointed. I wanted to wear that dress with > those silver platform sandals again and dance the > night away. > > Okay, one setback was not going to spoil my mood > for this affair. No way! > Rolling the dress into a ball and tossing it into the > corner, I turned Plan B. The black velvet caftan. > I gathered up all the goodies that I had purchased > at the drug store; the scented shower gel; the bodybuilding > and highlighting shampoo/conditioner, and the > split-end killer and shine enhancer. Soon my hair > would look like that girl's in the Pantene ads. > > Then the makeup-the under eye " ain't no lines here " > firming cream, the all-day face-lifting > gravity-fighting moisturizer with wrinkle filler > spackle; the all day " kiss me till my lips bleed, and > see if this gloss will come off " lipstick, the > bronzing face powder for that special glow...But > first, the roll-on facial hair remover. I could feel > the wrinkles shuddering in fear. > > OK - time to get ready...I jumped into the steaming > shower, soaped, lathered, rinsed, shaved, tweezed, > buffed, scrubbed, and scoured my body to a tingling > pink. I plastered my freshly scrubbed face with the > anti-wrinkle, gravity fighting, " your face will look > like a baby's butt " face cream. I set my hair on > the hot rollers. > > I felt wonderful. Ready to take on the world. Or > in this instance, my underwear. With the towel > firmly wrapped around my glistening body, I pulled out > the black lace, tummy-tucking, cellulite-pushing, > ham hock-rounding girdle, and the matching " lifting > those bosoms like they're filled with helium " bra. I > greased my body with the scented body lotion and > began the plunge. > > I pulled, stretched, tugged, hiked, folded, tucked, > twisted, shimmied, hopped, pushed, wiggled, snapped, > shook, caterpillar crawled, and kicked. Sweat poured > off my forehead but I was done. And it didn't look bad. > So I rested. A well deserved rest, too. The girdle > was on my body. > Bounce a quarter off my behind? It was tighter than a > trampoline. Can you say, " Rubber baby buggy bumper > butt? " > > Okay, so I had to take baby steps, and walk sideways, > and I couldn't move from my butt cheeks to my knees. > But I was firm! Oh no...I had to go to the > bathroom. And there wasn't a snap crotch. From now > on, undies gotta have a snap crotch. I was ready to > rip it open and re-stitch the crotch with Velcro, but > the pain factor from past experiments was still > fresh in my mind. > I quickly side stepped to the bathroom. An hour > later, I had answered nature's call and repeated > the struggle into the girdle. > > I was ready for the bra. I remembered what the > saleslady said to do. I could see her glossed lips > mouthing, " Do not fasten the bra in the front, > and twist it around. Put the bra on the way it > should beworn --- straps over the shoulders. Then > bend over > and gently place both breasts inside the cups. " > Easy if you have four hands. But, with confidence, I > put my arms into the holsters, bent over and pulled the > bra down...but the boobs weren't cooperating. I'd no > sooner tuck one in a cup, and while placing the > other, the first would slip out. I needed a strategy. > > I bounced up, and down a few times, tried to dribble > them in with short bunny hops, but that didn't work. > So, while bent over, I began rocking gently back > and forth on my heel and toes and I set 'em to > swinging. Finally, on the fourth swing, pause, and > lift, I captured the gliding glands. Quickly > fastening the back of the bra, I stood up for > examination. Back straight, slightly arched, I turned > and faced the mirror, turning front, and then > sideways. I smiled. Yes, Houston, we have lift up! > > My breasts were high, firm and there was cleavage! > I was happy until I tried to look down. I had a chin > rest. And I couldn't see my feet. I still had to put > on my pantyhose, and shoes. Oh, why did I buy > heels with buckles? > > Then I had to pee again. > I put on my sweats, fixed myself a drink, ordered > pizza, and skipped the reunion. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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