Guest guest Posted October 2, 2001 Report Share Posted October 2, 2001 I don't feel quite so bad about my level of computer inexpertise now..... > > If humor is good for the heart then take heart, anyone among you who > > believes > > you are technologically challenged, you " ain't seen nuthin' " yet. This is > an > > excerpt from a Wall Street Journal article: > > > > 1. Compaq is considering changing the command " Press Any Key " to " Press > > Return Key " because of the flood of calls asking where the " Any " key is. > > > > 2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard > to > > control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag > > the mouse was packaged in. > > > > 3. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax > > anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician discovered > the > > man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the > monitor > > screen and hitting the " Send " key. > > > > 4. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no > longer > > worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and > > soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing > them > > individually. > > > > 5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged > because > > his computer had told him he was " bad and an invalid. " The tech explained > > that the computer's " bad command " and " invalid " responses shouldn't be > taken > > personally. > > > > 6. A confused caller to IBM was having trouble printing documents. He told > > the technician that the computer > > had said it " couldn't find printer. The user had also tried turning the > > computer screen to face the printer -- but that his computer still > couldn't > > " see " the printer. > > > > 7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her > new > > Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the > > technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her > > response, " I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens. " > The > > " foot pedal " turned out to be the computer's mouse. > > > > 8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand new > computer > > wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there > > for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened > > when she pressed the power switch, she asked, " What power switch? " > > > > 9. Another IBM customer had trouble installing software and rang for > > support. " I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the > > second disk, and had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in > the > > third disk, I couldn't even fit it in... " The user hadn't realized that > > " Insert Disk 2 " implied to remove Disk 1 first. > > > > 10. True story from a Novell NetWire SysOp: Caller: " Hello, is this Tech > > Support? " Tech: " Yes, it is. How may I help you? " Caller: " The cup holder > > on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about > > getting that fixed? " Tech: " I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder? " > > Caller: " Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer. " Tech: " Please > > excuse me. If I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you receive > this > > as part of a promotional at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? > > Does it have any trademark on it? " > > Caller: " It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a > > promotional. It just has '4X' on it. " > > At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he couldn't > stand > > it. He was laughing too hard. The > > caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder > > and snapped it off the drive. > > > > 11. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. > The > > tech asked her if she was running it under " Windows. " The woman > responded, > > " No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man > sitting > > in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his printer is working > > fine. " > > > > 12. Another true story:TECH SUPPORT: " O.K. Bob, let's press the control > and > > escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of > > the screen. Now type the letter " P " to bring up the Program Manager. " > > CUSTOMER: " I don't have a 'P' " . TECH SUPPORT: " On your keyboard, Bob. " > > CUSTOMER: " What do you mean? " > > TECH SUPPORT: " 'P' on your keyboard, Bob. " > > CUSTOMER: " I'm not going to do that! > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 2, 2001 Report Share Posted October 2, 2001 I don't feel quite so bad about my level of computer inexpertise now..... > > If humor is good for the heart then take heart, anyone among you who > > believes > > you are technologically challenged, you " ain't seen nuthin' " yet. This is > an > > excerpt from a Wall Street Journal article: > > > > 1. Compaq is considering changing the command " Press Any Key " to " Press > > Return Key " because of the flood of calls asking where the " Any " key is. > > > > 2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard > to > > control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag > > the mouse was packaged in. > > > > 3. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax > > anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician discovered > the > > man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the > monitor > > screen and hitting the " Send " key. > > > > 4. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no > longer > > worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and > > soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing > them > > individually. > > > > 5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged > because > > his computer had told him he was " bad and an invalid. " The tech explained > > that the computer's " bad command " and " invalid " responses shouldn't be > taken > > personally. > > > > 6. A confused caller to IBM was having trouble printing documents. He told > > the technician that the computer > > had said it " couldn't find printer. The user had also tried turning the > > computer screen to face the printer -- but that his computer still > couldn't > > " see " the printer. > > > > 7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her > new > > Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the > > technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her > > response, " I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens. " > The > > " foot pedal " turned out to be the computer's mouse. > > > > 8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand new > computer > > wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there > > for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened > > when she pressed the power switch, she asked, " What power switch? " > > > > 9. Another IBM customer had trouble installing software and rang for > > support. " I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the > > second disk, and had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in > the > > third disk, I couldn't even fit it in... " The user hadn't realized that > > " Insert Disk 2 " implied to remove Disk 1 first. > > > > 10. True story from a Novell NetWire SysOp: Caller: " Hello, is this Tech > > Support? " Tech: " Yes, it is. How may I help you? " Caller: " The cup holder > > on my PC is broken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about > > getting that fixed? " Tech: " I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder? " > > Caller: " Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer. " Tech: " Please > > excuse me. If I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did you receive > this > > as part of a promotional at a trade show? How did you get this cup holder? > > Does it have any trademark on it? " > > Caller: " It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a > > promotional. It just has '4X' on it. " > > At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he couldn't > stand > > it. He was laughing too hard. The > > caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder > > and snapped it off the drive. > > > > 11. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. > The > > tech asked her if she was running it under " Windows. " The woman > responded, > > " No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man > sitting > > in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his printer is working > > fine. " > > > > 12. Another true story:TECH SUPPORT: " O.K. Bob, let's press the control > and > > escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of > > the screen. Now type the letter " P " to bring up the Program Manager. " > > CUSTOMER: " I don't have a 'P' " . TECH SUPPORT: " On your keyboard, Bob. " > > CUSTOMER: " What do you mean? " > > TECH SUPPORT: " 'P' on your keyboard, Bob. " > > CUSTOMER: " I'm not going to do that! > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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