Guest guest Posted October 10, 2000 Report Share Posted October 10, 2000 > > > > > > > > 1. Follow your dream! Unless it's the one where you're > > > > > > at work in your underwear during a fire drill. > > > > > > > > > > > > 2. Always take time to stop and smell the roses and > > > > > > sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee. > > > > > > > > > > > > 3. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not > > > > > > walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk > > > > > > beside me, either. Just leave me alone. > > > > > > > > > > > > 4. If you don't like my driving, don't call anyone. > > > > > > Just take another road. That's why the highway > > > > > > department made so many of them. > > > > > > > > > > > > 5. If a motorist cuts you off, just turn the other > > > > > > cheek. Nothing gets the message across like a good > > > > > > mooning. > > > > > > > > > > > > 6. When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes > > > > > > the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag > > > > > > himself. > > > > > > > > > > > > 7. It's always darkest before the dawn. So if you're > > > > > > going to steal the neighbor's newspaper, that's the > > > > > > time to do it. > > > > > > > > > > > > 8. A handy telephone tip: Keep a small chalkboard near > > > > > > the phone. That way, when a salesman calls, you can > > > > > > hold the receiver up to it and run your fingernails > > > > > > across it until he hangs up. > > > > > > > > > > > > 9. Each day I try to enjoy something from each of the > > > > > > four food groups: the bonbon group, the salty-snack > > > > > > group, the caffeine group and the > > > > > > " What-ever-the-thing-in-the-tinfoil-in-the-back-of-the-fridge-is " . > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > 10.Into every life some rain must fall. Usually when > > > > > > your car windows are down. > > > > > > > > > > > > 11. Just remember: You gotta break some eggs to make a > > > > > > real mess on the neighbor's car! > > > > > > > > > > > > 12. When you find yourself getting irritated with > > > > > > someone, try to remember that all men are brothers and > > > > > > just give them a noogie or an Indian burn. > > > > > > > > > > > > 13. This morning I woke up to the unmistakable scent > > > > > > of pigs in a blanket. That's the price you pay for > > > > > > letting the relatives stay over. > > > > > > > > > > > > 14. It's a small world. So you gotta use your elbows a > > > > > > lot. > > > > > > > > > > > > 15. Keep your nose to the grindstone and your shoulder > > > > > > to the wheel. It's a lot cheaper than plastic surgery. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > 16. This land is your land. This land is my land. So > > > > > > stay on your land. > > > > > > > > > > > > 17. Love is like a roller coaster: When it's good you > > > > > > don't want to get off, and when it isn't, you can't > > > > > > wait to throw up. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 10, 2000 Report Share Posted October 10, 2000 > > > > > > > > 1. Follow your dream! Unless it's the one where you're > > > > > > at work in your underwear during a fire drill. > > > > > > > > > > > > 2. Always take time to stop and smell the roses and > > > > > > sooner or later, you'll inhale a bee. > > > > > > > > > > > > 3. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not > > > > > > walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk > > > > > > beside me, either. Just leave me alone. > > > > > > > > > > > > 4. If you don't like my driving, don't call anyone. > > > > > > Just take another road. That's why the highway > > > > > > department made so many of them. > > > > > > > > > > > > 5. If a motorist cuts you off, just turn the other > > > > > > cheek. Nothing gets the message across like a good > > > > > > mooning. > > > > > > > > > > > > 6. When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes > > > > > > the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag > > > > > > himself. > > > > > > > > > > > > 7. It's always darkest before the dawn. So if you're > > > > > > going to steal the neighbor's newspaper, that's the > > > > > > time to do it. > > > > > > > > > > > > 8. A handy telephone tip: Keep a small chalkboard near > > > > > > the phone. That way, when a salesman calls, you can > > > > > > hold the receiver up to it and run your fingernails > > > > > > across it until he hangs up. > > > > > > > > > > > > 9. Each day I try to enjoy something from each of the > > > > > > four food groups: the bonbon group, the salty-snack > > > > > > group, the caffeine group and the > > > > > > " What-ever-the-thing-in-the-tinfoil-in-the-back-of-the-fridge-is " . > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > 10.Into every life some rain must fall. Usually when > > > > > > your car windows are down. > > > > > > > > > > > > 11. Just remember: You gotta break some eggs to make a > > > > > > real mess on the neighbor's car! > > > > > > > > > > > > 12. When you find yourself getting irritated with > > > > > > someone, try to remember that all men are brothers and > > > > > > just give them a noogie or an Indian burn. > > > > > > > > > > > > 13. This morning I woke up to the unmistakable scent > > > > > > of pigs in a blanket. That's the price you pay for > > > > > > letting the relatives stay over. > > > > > > > > > > > > 14. It's a small world. So you gotta use your elbows a > > > > > > lot. > > > > > > > > > > > > 15. Keep your nose to the grindstone and your shoulder > > > > > > to the wheel. It's a lot cheaper than plastic surgery. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > 16. This land is your land. This land is my land. So > > > > > > stay on your land. > > > > > > > > > > > > 17. Love is like a roller coaster: When it's good you > > > > > > don't want to get off, and when it isn't, you can't > > > > > > wait to throw up. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.