Jokes

[Guest guest]

A defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong

evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. In the

defense's closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his

client would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick.

" Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you

all, " the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. " Within one

minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into

this courtroom. " He looked toward the courtroom door. The

jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked on eagerly. A minute

passed. Nothing happened.

Finally the lawyer said, " Actually, I made up the previous

statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I

therefore put to you that you have a reasonable doubt in

this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that

you return a verdict of not guilty. "

The jury, clearly confused, retired to deliberate. A few

minutes later, the jury returned and pronounced a verdict

of guilty.

" But how? " inquired the lawyer. " You must have had some

doubt; I saw all of you stare at the door. "

The jury foreman replied: " Oh, we did look, but your

client didn't. "

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A tired traveler pulls into a hotel around midnight.

Very tired after a long day's trip he asks the clerk

for a single room. As the clerk fills out the paperwork,

the man notices a gorgeous woman sitting in the lobby.

He tells the clerk to wait while he disappears into the

lobby.

After a minute he comes back, with the girl on his arm.

Lying to the hotel clerk, he says, " Fancy meeting my

'wife' here. I'll need a double room for the night. "

The next morning, he comes to settle his bill, and finds

the amount to be over $3000. " What's the meaning of this? "

he yells at the clerk. " I've only been here for one night! "

" Yes sir, " says the clerk, " but your 'wife' has been here

for three weeks! "

[Guest guest]

A defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong

evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. In the

defense's closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his

client would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick.

" Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you

all, " the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. " Within one

minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into

this courtroom. " He looked toward the courtroom door. The

jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked on eagerly. A minute

passed. Nothing happened.

Finally the lawyer said, " Actually, I made up the previous

statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I

therefore put to you that you have a reasonable doubt in

this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that

you return a verdict of not guilty. "

The jury, clearly confused, retired to deliberate. A few

minutes later, the jury returned and pronounced a verdict

of guilty.

" But how? " inquired the lawyer. " You must have had some

doubt; I saw all of you stare at the door. "

The jury foreman replied: " Oh, we did look, but your

client didn't. "

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

A tired traveler pulls into a hotel around midnight.

Very tired after a long day's trip he asks the clerk

for a single room. As the clerk fills out the paperwork,

the man notices a gorgeous woman sitting in the lobby.

He tells the clerk to wait while he disappears into the

lobby.

After a minute he comes back, with the girl on his arm.

Lying to the hotel clerk, he says, " Fancy meeting my

'wife' here. I'll need a double room for the night. "

The next morning, he comes to settle his bill, and finds

the amount to be over $3000. " What's the meaning of this? "

he yells at the clerk. " I've only been here for one night! "

" Yes sir, " says the clerk, " but your 'wife' has been here

for three weeks! "