Fw: Worst date ever

[Guest guest]

> For all those people who thought they'd had the worst first date ever.

>

> This was on the Jay Leno show on 9-7-99. Jay went into the audience to

> find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner

> described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no

> question as to why her tale took the prize!

>

> She said it was midwinter ... snowing and quite cold ... and the guy

> had taken her skiing. It was a day trip (no overnight). They were

> strangers, after all, and truly had never met before. The outing was

> fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that

> afternoon.

>

> They were driving back down the mountain when she gradually began to

> realize that she should not have had that extra latte apres-ski. They

> were about an hour away from anywhere with a restroom and in the

> middle of nowhere. Her companion suggested she should try to hold it,

> which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow

> and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had

> better stop and let her pee beside the road, or it would be the front

> seat of his car. They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car,

> yanked her ski pants down and started.

>

> Unfortunately, in the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let

> her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion

> stood on the other side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a

> real gentleman and refrained from peaking. All she could think about was

> the

> relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.

>

> Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As

> she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were

> firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to pump

> handles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh

> from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new

> problem

> due to the extreme cold. Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the

humor

>

> she answered her date's concerns about " what was taking so long " with a

> reply that indeed, she was freezing her butt off and needed some

> assistance! "

>

> He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and

> then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing.

> She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose

> themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the

> situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it

> would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the

> icy metal. Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in

> the first place both quickly realized that there was only one way to get

> her free so, as she looked the other way, her first time date proceeded

> to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.

>

>

[Guest guest]

> For all those people who thought they'd had the worst first date ever.

>

> This was on the Jay Leno show on 9-7-99. Jay went into the audience to

> find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner

> described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no

> question as to why her tale took the prize!

>

> She said it was midwinter ... snowing and quite cold ... and the guy

> had taken her skiing. It was a day trip (no overnight). They were

> strangers, after all, and truly had never met before. The outing was

> fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that

> afternoon.

>

> They were driving back down the mountain when she gradually began to

> realize that she should not have had that extra latte apres-ski. They

> were about an hour away from anywhere with a restroom and in the

> middle of nowhere. Her companion suggested she should try to hold it,

> which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow

> and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had

> better stop and let her pee beside the road, or it would be the front

> seat of his car. They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car,

> yanked her ski pants down and started.

>

> Unfortunately, in the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let

> her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion

> stood on the other side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a

> real gentleman and refrained from peaking. All she could think about was

> the

> relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.

>

> Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As

> she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were

> firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to pump

> handles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh

> from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new

> problem

> due to the extreme cold. Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the

humor

>

> she answered her date's concerns about " what was taking so long " with a

> reply that indeed, she was freezing her butt off and needed some

> assistance! "

>

> He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and

> then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing.

> She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose

> themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the

> situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it

> would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the

> icy metal. Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in

> the first place both quickly realized that there was only one way to get

> her free so, as she looked the other way, her first time date proceeded

> to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.

>

>