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I love this list, but I really look forward to reading it to hear about

other's experiences pre and post op and what insurance they got approval or

denial from. I wish that those who think they need to make negative comments

to each other would do as the listowner has requested and take those comments

elsewhere.

I know many of you were concerned/irritated with , and now this whatever

about some other list and some Dr. and some other type of surgery and some

money to be donated to someone? I don't even care enough to find out what it

is all about. But please lets have this nice list to help each other not

tear each other down.

I am sure many of you, like me, have had enough with judgements of the skinny

world and comments made to you about your weight. I'm sure you have suffered

discrimination like I have, in the workplace (applying for jobs) and in the

social arena (sitting at a table in a bar watching the men look you over and

decide you weren't acceptable, while your skinny friends had dances and dates

and you sat home alone). I, for one, WANT this surgery. I don't care if

had a hard time. I want this surgery. She didn't discourage me from

it, though at times I thought that is what her intentions were.

I want to have the chance to get all the goodies the skinny people get. Hey

- if I am not model thin thats ok, but to be able to wear a size 10 (wow) I

did that once in my life after losing 120 lbs and then gained it all back.

And no matter what anyone says, people (the world) in general are NICER to

you when you are thin. I couldn't believe how nice everyone was when I had

lost that weight, since most of my life I have been overweight.

Now, as far as supervised diets go, I have asked and asked several Drs for

help in dieting (such as diet pills) and none of them would go for it. Not

one of them offered any other supervision. Can I mention that to my

insurance company as a reason for not having medically supervised weight

loss? And does over 40 years of trying diets on my own and with Drs I can't

EVEN remember count?

Thanks to all,

Carole

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I love this list, but I really look forward to reading it to hear about

other's experiences pre and post op and what insurance they got approval or

denial from. I wish that those who think they need to make negative comments

to each other would do as the listowner has requested and take those comments

elsewhere.

I know many of you were concerned/irritated with , and now this whatever

about some other list and some Dr. and some other type of surgery and some

money to be donated to someone? I don't even care enough to find out what it

is all about. But please lets have this nice list to help each other not

tear each other down.

I am sure many of you, like me, have had enough with judgements of the skinny

world and comments made to you about your weight. I'm sure you have suffered

discrimination like I have, in the workplace (applying for jobs) and in the

social arena (sitting at a table in a bar watching the men look you over and

decide you weren't acceptable, while your skinny friends had dances and dates

and you sat home alone). I, for one, WANT this surgery. I don't care if

had a hard time. I want this surgery. She didn't discourage me from

it, though at times I thought that is what her intentions were.

I want to have the chance to get all the goodies the skinny people get. Hey

- if I am not model thin thats ok, but to be able to wear a size 10 (wow) I

did that once in my life after losing 120 lbs and then gained it all back.

And no matter what anyone says, people (the world) in general are NICER to

you when you are thin. I couldn't believe how nice everyone was when I had

lost that weight, since most of my life I have been overweight.

Now, as far as supervised diets go, I have asked and asked several Drs for

help in dieting (such as diet pills) and none of them would go for it. Not

one of them offered any other supervision. Can I mention that to my

insurance company as a reason for not having medically supervised weight

loss? And does over 40 years of trying diets on my own and with Drs I can't

EVEN remember count?

Thanks to all,

Carole

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Carole,

you want NICE but you are not nice,,,,i wrote and reached out to my fellow humans in a time of need ,,,,if u want the surgery go for it girl,, but for god sake have empathy for others who suffer,,hey u might be in my shoes and then, if u are dont come crying to me for help,,and being a nurse I do know more than the average person

good luck to you and if u want to have people be nice start caring about what happens to others,

karen

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Carole,

you want NICE but you are not nice,,,,i wrote and reached out to my fellow humans in a time of need ,,,,if u want the surgery go for it girl,, but for god sake have empathy for others who suffer,,hey u might be in my shoes and then, if u are dont come crying to me for help,,and being a nurse I do know more than the average person

good luck to you and if u want to have people be nice start caring about what happens to others,

karen

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I have refrained and refrained from posting on this subject, BUT PEOPLE,

Hellllllooooo? How old are we? Can we stop all this nonsense already? If you

don't have something nice to say, DON " T say it. I thought all this was over a

few days ago and was breathing a sigh of relief.

Kim B.

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I have refrained and refrained from posting on this subject, BUT PEOPLE,

Hellllllooooo? How old are we? Can we stop all this nonsense already? If you

don't have something nice to say, DON " T say it. I thought all this was over a

few days ago and was breathing a sigh of relief.

Kim B.

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> I have refrained and refrained from posting on this subject, BUT

> PEOPLE, Hellllllooooo? How old are we? Can we stop all this

> nonsense already? If you don't have something nice to say, DON " T

> say it. I thought all this was over a few days ago and was

> breathing a sigh of relief.

For those of us who choose to be literal to the point of absurdity, I

suppose I need to clarify. Nobody is asking anyone to be " nice " to

the exlusion of being informative. It is possible to be courteous to

each other and to NOT insult each other, and still debate factual

matters and differences of opinion. Sheesh.

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> I have refrained and refrained from posting on this subject, BUT

> PEOPLE, Hellllllooooo? How old are we? Can we stop all this

> nonsense already? If you don't have something nice to say, DON " T

> say it. I thought all this was over a few days ago and was

> breathing a sigh of relief.

For those of us who choose to be literal to the point of absurdity, I

suppose I need to clarify. Nobody is asking anyone to be " nice " to

the exlusion of being informative. It is possible to be courteous to

each other and to NOT insult each other, and still debate factual

matters and differences of opinion. Sheesh.

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Sorry, Kim, if I gave the impression (by quoting you) that my reply

was to your message. I agree with your post. :-) Being kind to others

is something that I aspire to do, and that I appreciate from others

as well. But the idea that kindness must by definition come at the

expense of education is simply absurd.

> I have refrained and refrained from posting on this subject, BUT

> PEOPLE, Hellllllooooo? How old are we? Can we stop all this

> nonsense already? If you don't have something nice to say, DON " T

> say it. I thought all this was over a few days ago and was

> breathing a sigh of relief.

>

> Kim B.

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Sorry, Kim, if I gave the impression (by quoting you) that my reply

was to your message. I agree with your post. :-) Being kind to others

is something that I aspire to do, and that I appreciate from others

as well. But the idea that kindness must by definition come at the

expense of education is simply absurd.

> I have refrained and refrained from posting on this subject, BUT

> PEOPLE, Hellllllooooo? How old are we? Can we stop all this

> nonsense already? If you don't have something nice to say, DON " T

> say it. I thought all this was over a few days ago and was

> breathing a sigh of relief.

>

> Kim B.

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Nick,

While I appreciate your sarcasm (it actually is quite funny) I hope you do

not misunderstand , or some of the others here, for that matter.

Personally, I come to this group for information, (to give and recieve) and

for support. Not every post has to be necessarily nice, but I find reading

personal attacks on other posters very non-supportive and immature. There is

nothing wrong with a good debate or a difference of opinion, but occasionally

there are very non productive personal attacks at other members of this group

that are just not necessary, and have no useful information to any of us.

Kim B.

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Nick,

While I appreciate your sarcasm (it actually is quite funny) I hope you do

not misunderstand , or some of the others here, for that matter.

Personally, I come to this group for information, (to give and recieve) and

for support. Not every post has to be necessarily nice, but I find reading

personal attacks on other posters very non-supportive and immature. There is

nothing wrong with a good debate or a difference of opinion, but occasionally

there are very non productive personal attacks at other members of this group

that are just not necessary, and have no useful information to any of us.

Kim B.

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Nick you do have a flair with words. Whether I should be enjoying them or not may be up for debate but sue me...I do...LOL You seem to give them just the right tone and I find that to be a real talent. I also appreciate much of what you say!

~~* AJ *~~

BMI 59

Surgery date 7/24/01

going self pay - Dr Baltasar Spain

Check out the

Bellingham Support for WLS

WWW.lookin2bthin.homestead.com

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Nick you do have a flair with words. Whether I should be enjoying them or not may be up for debate but sue me...I do...LOL You seem to give them just the right tone and I find that to be a real talent. I also appreciate much of what you say!

~~* AJ *~~

BMI 59

Surgery date 7/24/01

going self pay - Dr Baltasar Spain

Check out the

Bellingham Support for WLS

WWW.lookin2bthin.homestead.com

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Nick:

your not funny nor glib your silly and over reacting again. Your implications that those of us who prefer civil discourse, as opposed to your sarcastic hostility, are unintelligent is exactly what we don't need. You have a burr up your butt. Perhaps it can be removed during your surgery.

Sheryle

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Nick:

your not funny nor glib your silly and over reacting again. Your implications that those of us who prefer civil discourse, as opposed to your sarcastic hostility, are unintelligent is exactly what we don't need. You have a burr up your butt. Perhaps it can be removed during your surgery.

Sheryle

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YES! For heaven's sake, people, be " nice " AND informative. Never

communicate anything with any words that are not on the approved

list. But, do be informative. Quote a medical abstract or something

and follow it with a snip from a sweet poem about self-fulfillment.

When you read a post, be sure to only pay attention to those

with " nice " wording. The use of unapproved words means that the

content should be totally ignored. If you follow these simple rules,

you will always " feel good " about this list -- and yourself. After

all, isn't that what it's all about?

Never let your frustration allow you to stray from the approved

word " list. " And, for you, Donna, you despicable human being, NEVER

USE THAT " F " WORD AGAIN! Don't you know that nobody ever uses it in

communicating in the 21st century? In addition, it shows that you

are -- heaven forbid -- a human being with intense feelings. To do

so is morally reprehensible. We must be homogenized, too, you know.

Finally, never use insulting words to describe any beloved surgeon

who may have accidentally maimed you.

And, as far as subject matter is concerned, always remember that

there are many subjects that we cannot discuss . Politics is

absolutely off base, even if it relates to our right to have

surgery. Identifying the IQ or moral integrity of our pResident is

likewise a no-no (well, I guess that is actually quite off topic).

Insurance should always be discussed somewhere else. I'm not so sure

why, though. Maybe the rule actually is that only some people cannot

discuss insurance. I guess it is because there are insurance lists.

It is okay to discuss diet and eating, though. Again, I'm not so

sure why inasmuch as there are other groups dedicated to that, too.

Finally, never forget that you always have a strategy to pull of the

shelf when you find a non-homogenized, off-topic, or not- " nice "

post. Threaten to stop posting! That's always effective. It

strikes terror in my heart anyway. And to really top it off, stop

posting for an hour or so -- or maybe even a week. That really get's

people's attention. If that doesn't work, you can always pull out

the big one. Yes, folks, it really works. Do like Tom and me. Hold

your breath! You can't imagine the comments your cyanotic face will

draw as you wander about at WalMart.

, I hope that these simple guidelines that I have distilled

from the wisdom of a plethora of " nice " posts will help you

understand why you are so very, very politically correct. After all,

a substantive post that communicates deep human emotion and using the

reality of how the world actually speaks, is just plain offensive and

wrong.

I know this from personal experience. That's why I've undergone such

a major change in my approach to this list. I feel so much better

now that I am " nice. "

Best -- No, I have to modify this, too.

The VERY Best -- Wooooo Hooooo!

Nick in Sage

P.S.

Did you notice that " nice " and " Nick " start with the same letter of

the alphabet? Could that be just a coincidence? Food for thought!

Ooooooooh! I am bathing in " nice. " It feels so very, very good.

> > I have refrained and refrained from posting on this subject, BUT

> > PEOPLE, Hellllllooooo? How old are we? Can we stop all this

> > nonsense already? If you don't have something nice to say, DON " T

> > say it. I thought all this was over a few days ago and was

> > breathing a sigh of relief.

>

> For those of us who choose to be literal to the point of absurdity,

I

> suppose I need to clarify. Nobody is asking anyone to be " nice " to

> the exlusion of being informative. It is possible to be courteous

to

> each other and to NOT insult each other, and still debate factual

> matters and differences of opinion. Sheesh.

>

>

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YES! For heaven's sake, people, be " nice " AND informative. Never

communicate anything with any words that are not on the approved

list. But, do be informative. Quote a medical abstract or something

and follow it with a snip from a sweet poem about self-fulfillment.

When you read a post, be sure to only pay attention to those

with " nice " wording. The use of unapproved words means that the

content should be totally ignored. If you follow these simple rules,

you will always " feel good " about this list -- and yourself. After

all, isn't that what it's all about?

Never let your frustration allow you to stray from the approved

word " list. " And, for you, Donna, you despicable human being, NEVER

USE THAT " F " WORD AGAIN! Don't you know that nobody ever uses it in

communicating in the 21st century? In addition, it shows that you

are -- heaven forbid -- a human being with intense feelings. To do

so is morally reprehensible. We must be homogenized, too, you know.

Finally, never use insulting words to describe any beloved surgeon

who may have accidentally maimed you.

And, as far as subject matter is concerned, always remember that

there are many subjects that we cannot discuss . Politics is

absolutely off base, even if it relates to our right to have

surgery. Identifying the IQ or moral integrity of our pResident is

likewise a no-no (well, I guess that is actually quite off topic).

Insurance should always be discussed somewhere else. I'm not so sure

why, though. Maybe the rule actually is that only some people cannot

discuss insurance. I guess it is because there are insurance lists.

It is okay to discuss diet and eating, though. Again, I'm not so

sure why inasmuch as there are other groups dedicated to that, too.

Finally, never forget that you always have a strategy to pull of the

shelf when you find a non-homogenized, off-topic, or not- " nice "

post. Threaten to stop posting! That's always effective. It

strikes terror in my heart anyway. And to really top it off, stop

posting for an hour or so -- or maybe even a week. That really get's

people's attention. If that doesn't work, you can always pull out

the big one. Yes, folks, it really works. Do like Tom and me. Hold

your breath! You can't imagine the comments your cyanotic face will

draw as you wander about at WalMart.

, I hope that these simple guidelines that I have distilled

from the wisdom of a plethora of " nice " posts will help you

understand why you are so very, very politically correct. After all,

a substantive post that communicates deep human emotion and using the

reality of how the world actually speaks, is just plain offensive and

wrong.

I know this from personal experience. That's why I've undergone such

a major change in my approach to this list. I feel so much better

now that I am " nice. "

Best -- No, I have to modify this, too.

The VERY Best -- Wooooo Hooooo!

Nick in Sage

P.S.

Did you notice that " nice " and " Nick " start with the same letter of

the alphabet? Could that be just a coincidence? Food for thought!

Ooooooooh! I am bathing in " nice. " It feels so very, very good.

> > I have refrained and refrained from posting on this subject, BUT

> > PEOPLE, Hellllllooooo? How old are we? Can we stop all this

> > nonsense already? If you don't have something nice to say, DON " T

> > say it. I thought all this was over a few days ago and was

> > breathing a sigh of relief.

>

> For those of us who choose to be literal to the point of absurdity,

I

> suppose I need to clarify. Nobody is asking anyone to be " nice " to

> the exlusion of being informative. It is possible to be courteous

to

> each other and to NOT insult each other, and still debate factual

> matters and differences of opinion. Sheesh.

>

>

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> YES! For heaven's sake, people, be " nice " AND informative. Never

> communicate anything with any words that are not on the approved

> list.

Nick, I am not sur3e why you feel the need to be this way. You take a

perfectly reasonable guideline and twist it to try to portray it as

something it was never intended to be. You're like a spoiled child

who isn't getting enough attention, aren't you? Clearly you don't

care if you come off like an asshole, since it seems to be the most

frequent device that you employ. I don't need this shit, and I am

sick of you. How's that for nice?

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> YES! For heaven's sake, people, be " nice " AND informative. Never

> communicate anything with any words that are not on the approved

> list.

Nick, I am not sur3e why you feel the need to be this way. You take a

perfectly reasonable guideline and twist it to try to portray it as

something it was never intended to be. You're like a spoiled child

who isn't getting enough attention, aren't you? Clearly you don't

care if you come off like an asshole, since it seems to be the most

frequent device that you employ. I don't need this shit, and I am

sick of you. How's that for nice?

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Hi Kim -

Sarcasm? Naaaah. I prefer to characterize it as wit, mirth,

or " tongue in cheek. " I'm sure that some people here would prefer

my " tongue in check. "

Anyway, as I told someone else, my posts aren't aimed at a person,

especially . My issue is strictly one of a general attitude.

I couldn't believe that someone would talk about the new list to

which we fled as being one founded to escape from dissention. It was

formed to provide an open and free discussion which is often stifled

in this group.

The personal attacks are a result, not a cause. They result from

people who are in distress for one reason or another. We obese

people suffer from discrimination. Many of us feel that others do

not take us seriously. When that happens to us here, it is hardly

surprising that we lash out. When somebody expresses their

frustration and hurt, rather than reach out to them, there are those

on this list who will attack them. It becomes a pattern. It is no

wonder that there personal attacks are launched back and forth.

If the issues are taken seriously in the first place, even if they

are issues with which we personally cannot identify, this group would

find that the attacks would subside. When the response is, on the

other hand, a suggestion that people be excluded from the list, or

that someone is a bad person for expressing a particular thought or

expressing an appropriate thought but in an inappropriate manner,

this group is inviting just what they gripe about the most.

For Lisbeth, who **gasp** want support, don't forget to give it to

people in distress, too -- even if they aren't being " nice. " Lis,

your suggestion that " if you don't like it, leave " is yet another

example of the attitude that " everyone should be like me. " Yet

another example of this list's flirtation with censorship is the

suggestion that answers to the post should not be posted publicly.

Talking about the boundaries of topical appropriateness is always on

point. Talking about compelling insurance coverage for surgery is

somewhat related to pre-op interests. Wouldn't you agree -- or is it

just not a popular subject to discuss? Maybe you have great

coverage. Maybe you think that those who don't should shut up or

leave, too.

Lis, you state that " maybe we just dont want to get it. " When you

reflect on that statement, you might find why some people here tend

to turn up the flames a bit when they are trying to get a point

across for the second, third or tenth time. This is the precise

reason that much of the contention people complain about is rampant

on this list.

A " good debate " will often involve subject matter that not all wish

to discuss. It may also involve expression that some find

inappropriate. When either of these is stifled, the debate is no

longer " good " nor is it free and meaningful. If we just discuss

matters that everyone wants to talk about and always be nice, we

won't have much to talk about. That is the problem with this list.

Not surprisingly, the " new " list permits the " F " word, intense

feelings that all do not share, words that aren't always " nice, " and

many other things that are not valued on this list. The beauty is,

though, that we all " just get along. " We learn and we like the list

very much.

This list, too, has good information. It is just harder to find.

Best --

Nick in Sage

> Nick,

>

> While I appreciate your sarcasm (it actually is quite funny) I hope

you do

> not misunderstand , or some of the others here, for that

matter.

> Personally, I come to this group for information, (to give and

recieve) and

> for support. Not every post has to be necessarily nice, but I find

reading

> personal attacks on other posters very non-supportive and immature.

There is

> nothing wrong with a good debate or a difference of opinion, but

occasionally

> there are very non productive personal attacks at other members of

this group

> that are just not necessary, and have no useful information to any

of us.

>

> Kim B.

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Hi Kim -

Sarcasm? Naaaah. I prefer to characterize it as wit, mirth,

or " tongue in cheek. " I'm sure that some people here would prefer

my " tongue in check. "

Anyway, as I told someone else, my posts aren't aimed at a person,

especially . My issue is strictly one of a general attitude.

I couldn't believe that someone would talk about the new list to

which we fled as being one founded to escape from dissention. It was

formed to provide an open and free discussion which is often stifled

in this group.

The personal attacks are a result, not a cause. They result from

people who are in distress for one reason or another. We obese

people suffer from discrimination. Many of us feel that others do

not take us seriously. When that happens to us here, it is hardly

surprising that we lash out. When somebody expresses their

frustration and hurt, rather than reach out to them, there are those

on this list who will attack them. It becomes a pattern. It is no

wonder that there personal attacks are launched back and forth.

If the issues are taken seriously in the first place, even if they

are issues with which we personally cannot identify, this group would

find that the attacks would subside. When the response is, on the

other hand, a suggestion that people be excluded from the list, or

that someone is a bad person for expressing a particular thought or

expressing an appropriate thought but in an inappropriate manner,

this group is inviting just what they gripe about the most.

For Lisbeth, who **gasp** want support, don't forget to give it to

people in distress, too -- even if they aren't being " nice. " Lis,

your suggestion that " if you don't like it, leave " is yet another

example of the attitude that " everyone should be like me. " Yet

another example of this list's flirtation with censorship is the

suggestion that answers to the post should not be posted publicly.

Talking about the boundaries of topical appropriateness is always on

point. Talking about compelling insurance coverage for surgery is

somewhat related to pre-op interests. Wouldn't you agree -- or is it

just not a popular subject to discuss? Maybe you have great

coverage. Maybe you think that those who don't should shut up or

leave, too.

Lis, you state that " maybe we just dont want to get it. " When you

reflect on that statement, you might find why some people here tend

to turn up the flames a bit when they are trying to get a point

across for the second, third or tenth time. This is the precise

reason that much of the contention people complain about is rampant

on this list.

A " good debate " will often involve subject matter that not all wish

to discuss. It may also involve expression that some find

inappropriate. When either of these is stifled, the debate is no

longer " good " nor is it free and meaningful. If we just discuss

matters that everyone wants to talk about and always be nice, we

won't have much to talk about. That is the problem with this list.

Not surprisingly, the " new " list permits the " F " word, intense

feelings that all do not share, words that aren't always " nice, " and

many other things that are not valued on this list. The beauty is,

though, that we all " just get along. " We learn and we like the list

very much.

This list, too, has good information. It is just harder to find.

Best --

Nick in Sage

> Nick,

>

> While I appreciate your sarcasm (it actually is quite funny) I hope

you do

> not misunderstand , or some of the others here, for that

matter.

> Personally, I come to this group for information, (to give and

recieve) and

> for support. Not every post has to be necessarily nice, but I find

reading

> personal attacks on other posters very non-supportive and immature.

There is

> nothing wrong with a good debate or a difference of opinion, but

occasionally

> there are very non productive personal attacks at other members of

this group

> that are just not necessary, and have no useful information to any

of us.

>

> Kim B.

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Hi --

Conga Rats! You are living my suggestion. Let it all out! Get rid

of your frustrations! See how those " bad " words help you feel better?

Actually, I mean this rather seriously. I understand exactly what

you mean and I accept it. I hope that others will likewise

understand people who express intense feelings, albeit unpleasantly.

In this way, much of the unnecessary contention will disappear.

By the way, , I have not intended in any way to attack you.

You obviously are not one who pushes for limiting discussion. Your

post is the poster child for free expression. I am not attacking the

guideline. I am criticizing the mindset that many have on this board

which can best be described as a penchant for limiting expression to

that which they find personally meaningful.

Damn, ! Do you really think that I'm an asshole? I mean,

like that's pretty extreme.

Flamed but still standing tall,

Nick in Sage

> > YES! For heaven's sake, people, be " nice " AND informative.

Never

> > communicate anything with any words that are not on the approved

> > list.

>

> Nick, I am not sur3e why you feel the need to be this way. You take

a

> perfectly reasonable guideline and twist it to try to portray it as

> something it was never intended to be. You're like a spoiled child

> who isn't getting enough attention, aren't you? Clearly you don't

> care if you come off like an asshole, since it seems to be the most

> frequent device that you employ. I don't need this shit, and I am

> sick of you. How's that for nice?

>

>

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