Re: Thanks to Everyone

[Guest guest]

I go to Santa Clara; I think their current process is to refer you

to a class/orientation session (usually Wednesday afternoons) where

they explain all about sleep apnea and then set up your actual sleep

study. Like everything else it's not fast but at least you're

started - and then maybe there will be less to do with the bariatric

program down the road, right? It can take a few weeks, but it

shouldn't be long - I'd say that if you don't get a response in two -

three weeks you should send a message back to your PCP and ask her

to see if it can be expedited.

Cathy

> >

> > Donna,

> >

> > I have not spent a lot of time in therapy/counseling with

> professionals, but

> > have spent most of my adult life working on self-

healing....Most

> recently I

> > used a book/program called " The Artist's Way " recomended by my

> Kaiser

> > NP...The book was originally designed for artists with artists

> block but the

> > exersizes and such are easily adapted to other situations...in

my

> case my

> > history of obesity and abuse.

> >

> > I'm 41 now...most of my younger years I let people overstep my

> boundrys a

> > lot and seldom stood up for myself in any way. In the past 10

> years or so I

> > have gotten quite good at drawing the figurative line in the

sand

> with

> > others. My husband of the past 6 years in a healthy, whole

> individual and

> > is the Great Love of My Life. Our relationship has always

been very

> > strongand we have a fantastic relationship all the waya

> round.....truely I

> > do not think the weight loss will change our relationship,

other

> than to

> > possibly bond us together even more...Ths far, that is how we

have

> always

> > dealt with personal crisis'...we hold fast to one another,

rather

> than

> > turniong on one another, which I see way too often in other

> relationships.

> > Our relationship, in itself, has served as a huge medium for my

> healing old

> > wounds and scars...a good example of what I mean...and I dont

share

> this one

> > easily....

> >

> > Most of my adult life I had this fantasy image of myself as a

VERY

> young

> > girl (roughly age 3)...always the fantasy was of me that age

being

> taken(in

> > the bibical sense) by an adult male....I told no one about this

> mental image

> > because as a survivor of sexual abuse, I view a pedophile as

the

> absolute

> > worst human ...and to admit that my own fantasy image

involved me

> as such a

> > young child....I was terrified it would somehow look like

> pedophillia....so

> > I lived with it and told no one....that is until my husband

came

> into my

> > world....there was nothing that we couldn't talk about or

share.

> When we

> > decided to marry, I confessed to him about this mental image I

had

> of myself

> > as 3 year old...His reaction...his love for me didnt change

one

> iota...but

> > he did want me to understand that for him, he saw absolutely NO

> attraction

> > to the idea if sleeping with a child, he wanted a full-grown

woman

> in his

> > bed....several years into our marriage, one day it was like a

major

> ehiany

> > for me that that mental image I had always had of myself as

such a

> young

> > child had changed...the 3 year old didnt exist any longer, nor

> could i even

> > fathom such an idea...i relaized the child I viewed was more

life a

> 16-17

> > year old girl in my fantasy life....and the 3 year old

had... " grown

> up " It

> > was only after doing some serious research that I discovered

wht was

> > happening...that my " inner child " if you will...was finally in

a

> place

> > ...secure enough...safe enough...that she was being allowed to

grow

> up. For

> > many years I suspected the image was locked in at that age

because

> that

> > might have been when my actual abuse began (I have the actual

> memories of it

> > from age 10 on....but have 0 memories from before age 10)

> >

> > Bottom line...I will be having wls...I have hidden behind the

weght

> all of

> > my adult life for emotional reasons...now the weight has

become a

> major

> > health issue for me (Untreated Sleep Apnea, where i manage 1 -

2

> hours of

> > sleep sitting up in a chair nightly; pre-diabeties, borderline

> hypertension

> > and a lower back problem that has left me unable to do more

than

> walk15-20

> > feet without it locking up and leaving me in excrutiating

pain) We

> just

> > moved our 21 yr old son back into our home to help with the 4

year

> old

> > because I am unable to function any longer...am I going to

accept

> existing

> > like this, absolutely NOT... I am ready to start living my

life,

> rather than

> > just existing in it. Monday I had my first psyc evaluation,

this

> morning I

> > had my meeting with the nutritionalist...now I'm stuck

waiting, but

> when I

> > get my orientation Notice....I will be ready

> > .

>

>

>

>

>

>

>