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Posted
Posted

Ive been so busy between work and school that I havent really had a

chance to put my thoughts together and post my thoughts on this

subject. I am not as eloquent as Robynn and Francisco, but I will try.

I have never felt attractive. I still don't. I just dont have what it

is that men want. I mean Im not the type of person that would get a

second look from a man. How I got my husband's attention, I will

never understand.

Ok, first some history. When I was about 10, I was molested by my two

older half brothers. Never full out penetration, but just about

everything else. Sex became a normal thing for me. While I

technically remained a virgin til I met my husband, I had experienced

just about everything else but and at a relatively young age. I had

my first intimate relationship with the boy next door for 4 years(11-

15)and technically still a virgin. I met and married my husband at

17,weighing in at 135 pounds 3 months pregnant.

I began putting on my weight with the birth of each child(5). I

reached morbid obesity be the age of 24. I was isolated in my family.

We only really socialized with his brothers and sisters. I had no

close female friends. My " best " friend was my sister in law. I think

that may only be because we were kinda the only newbies in the family.

With WLS, suddenly the whole world was open to me. I felt attractive

for the first time. Even though I still dont feel I have what a man

is looking for. I still do not receive that much attention. But I did

begin receiving some attention. It was mostly from men I met through

WLS. I did not know how to handle it. One one hand I loved it...I was

recieving intimate attention that I was so starved for. While I love

my husband very much...he is very introverted...even with me. I

recently found out a little bit about his childhood that really

helped me to understand why. But anyway, this one man in particular

began paying constant attention to me. Sending me emails several

times a day, IMing me, just really talking to me. It almost led to an

affair...but he wound up hurting me very very badly emotionally and

several of my friends. I was petrified. I had never been in a

situation where I thought I would ever stray from my marriage. I

guess what Im trying to say here is I was SUDDENLY really going thru

my adolescence that I never had before...being married so young and

from my past experiences. Weight loss changed how I felt about

myself. Health problems made sex limited with my husband and I had a

whole new body I wanted to take for a spin. Thankfully, by finally

knowing what I want, I started to really talk to my husband and tell

him what I needed from him and Im glad to say things are going very

well. Sex with him is getting better all the time. Yes, he still has

some physical limitations(he swears Im trying to kill him), but with

some creativity it has become better than it has EVER been. We are

working on the emotional intimacy and that too is improving.

But aside from the sexual changes....Im becoming more and more

outgoing. Im meeting wonderful people in this site especially and for

the first time feel like I have true friends. This is quite

unsettling for Matias and some times causes some friction. I am

trying to get him to understand how normal it is to have friends and

that its not taking away from our relationship. I had stopped going

to support group meetings due to his insecurities and reluctance to

go with me. Im going to start up again at the end of this month as

soon as my classes are over.

All these changes were frightening and unsettling...but one thing DR

Fisher told me.....WLS doesnt change who you are in the long

run....you will go through changes, growth, maybe maturity, but deep

down your core values,morals,etc will be there...hang on to them and

you will be ok. I let go of mine for a while and almost lost the most

important person in the world to me...ME!! I truly for a long time

didnt know who I was.

Sorry this has turned into a book and I feel I havent adequately made

any sense here..it feels like Im rambling. I hope we can keep this

thread going....its so important to see the whole aspect of WLS.

Francisco and I talk about that alot and he knows all my thoughts

LOL. I hope I dont get on his nerves LOL when I call him and vent to

him. Francisco always tells me its a mind, body, spirit connection

and change. Putting together all aspects is vital!! Gotta love him!

Huggles

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Guest guest

Guest guest

Posted
Posted

Ive been so busy between work and school that I havent really had a

chance to put my thoughts together and post my thoughts on this

subject. I am not as eloquent as Robynn and Francisco, but I will try.

I have never felt attractive. I still don't. I just dont have what it

is that men want. I mean Im not the type of person that would get a

second look from a man. How I got my husband's attention, I will

never understand.

Ok, first some history. When I was about 10, I was molested by my two

older half brothers. Never full out penetration, but just about

everything else. Sex became a normal thing for me. While I

technically remained a virgin til I met my husband, I had experienced

just about everything else but and at a relatively young age. I had

my first intimate relationship with the boy next door for 4 years(11-

15)and technically still a virgin. I met and married my husband at

17,weighing in at 135 pounds 3 months pregnant.

I began putting on my weight with the birth of each child(5). I

reached morbid obesity be the age of 24. I was isolated in my family.

We only really socialized with his brothers and sisters. I had no

close female friends. My " best " friend was my sister in law. I think

that may only be because we were kinda the only newbies in the family.

With WLS, suddenly the whole world was open to me. I felt attractive

for the first time. Even though I still dont feel I have what a man

is looking for. I still do not receive that much attention. But I did

begin receiving some attention. It was mostly from men I met through

WLS. I did not know how to handle it. One one hand I loved it...I was

recieving intimate attention that I was so starved for. While I love

my husband very much...he is very introverted...even with me. I

recently found out a little bit about his childhood that really

helped me to understand why. But anyway, this one man in particular

began paying constant attention to me. Sending me emails several

times a day, IMing me, just really talking to me. It almost led to an

affair...but he wound up hurting me very very badly emotionally and

several of my friends. I was petrified. I had never been in a

situation where I thought I would ever stray from my marriage. I

guess what Im trying to say here is I was SUDDENLY really going thru

my adolescence that I never had before...being married so young and

from my past experiences. Weight loss changed how I felt about

myself. Health problems made sex limited with my husband and I had a

whole new body I wanted to take for a spin. Thankfully, by finally

knowing what I want, I started to really talk to my husband and tell

him what I needed from him and Im glad to say things are going very

well. Sex with him is getting better all the time. Yes, he still has

some physical limitations(he swears Im trying to kill him), but with

some creativity it has become better than it has EVER been. We are

working on the emotional intimacy and that too is improving.

But aside from the sexual changes....Im becoming more and more

outgoing. Im meeting wonderful people in this site especially and for

the first time feel like I have true friends. This is quite

unsettling for Matias and some times causes some friction. I am

trying to get him to understand how normal it is to have friends and

that its not taking away from our relationship. I had stopped going

to support group meetings due to his insecurities and reluctance to

go with me. Im going to start up again at the end of this month as

soon as my classes are over.

All these changes were frightening and unsettling...but one thing DR

Fisher told me.....WLS doesnt change who you are in the long

run....you will go through changes, growth, maybe maturity, but deep

down your core values,morals,etc will be there...hang on to them and

you will be ok. I let go of mine for a while and almost lost the most

important person in the world to me...ME!! I truly for a long time

didnt know who I was.

Sorry this has turned into a book and I feel I havent adequately made

any sense here..it feels like Im rambling. I hope we can keep this

thread going....its so important to see the whole aspect of WLS.

Francisco and I talk about that alot and he knows all my thoughts

LOL. I hope I dont get on his nerves LOL when I call him and vent to

him. Francisco always tells me its a mind, body, spirit connection

and change. Putting together all aspects is vital!! Gotta love him!

Huggles

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Guest guest

Posted
Posted

It's not just being attrative to men, it's the beauty of who you are. You helped me decide to have this WLS without you even knowing it. I looked up to your strength and so what if you have weaknesses too, we're all human. I love you dearly, and you are a beautiful person and many people count on you. It's okay to have friends, but this is where boundaries come in, as husband and wife you should walk on one side of the river and he should walk on the other meeting in the middle of every bridge. What this means is we are individuals and partners, you have interest and friends for yourself, he has interest and friends for himself, and you have time for family and special time set aside for you and him to stay bonded, and that's just not doing everything he likes, sometimes he needs to do things you would like to do. I will bring copies of boundaries, self esteem, anger and co-dependency to our next support

meeting. Simple reading says so much. You take care. LOL Donna Diane Duenas wrote: Ive been so busy between work and school that I havent really had a chance to put my thoughts together and post my thoughts on this subject. I am not as eloquent as Robynn and Francisco, but I will try.I have never felt attractive. I still don't. I just dont have what it is that men want. I mean Im not the type of person that would get a second look from a man. How I got my husband's attention, I will never understand.Ok, first some history. When I was about 10, I was molested by my two older half brothers. Never full out penetration, but just about everything else. Sex became a normal thing for me. While I technically remained a virgin til I met my husband, I had

experienced just about everything else but and at a relatively young age. I had my first intimate relationship with the boy next door for 4 years(11-15)and technically still a virgin. I met and married my husband at 17,weighing in at 135 pounds 3 months pregnant.I began putting on my weight with the birth of each child(5). I reached morbid obesity be the age of 24. I was isolated in my family. We only really socialized with his brothers and sisters. I had no close female friends. My "best" friend was my sister in law. I think that may only be because we were kinda the only newbies in the family.With WLS, suddenly the whole world was open to me. I felt attractive for the first time. Even though I still dont feel I have what a man is looking for. I still do not receive that much attention. But I did begin receiving some attention. It was mostly from men I met through WLS. I did not know how to handle it. One one hand I

loved it...I was recieving intimate attention that I was so starved for. While I love my husband very much...he is very introverted...even with me. I recently found out a little bit about his childhood that really helped me to understand why. But anyway, this one man in particular began paying constant attention to me. Sending me emails several times a day, IMing me, just really talking to me. It almost led to an affair...but he wound up hurting me very very badly emotionally and several of my friends. I was petrified. I had never been in a situation where I thought I would ever stray from my marriage. I guess what Im trying to say here is I was SUDDENLY really going thru my adolescence that I never had before...being married so young and from my past experiences. Weight loss changed how I felt about myself. Health problems made sex limited with my husband and I had a whole new body I wanted to take for a spin.

Thankfully, by finally knowing what I want, I started to really talk to my husband and tell him what I needed from him and Im glad to say things are going very well. Sex with him is getting better all the time. Yes, he still has some physical limitations(he swears Im trying to kill him), but with some creativity it has become better than it has EVER been. We are working on the emotional intimacy and that too is improving.But aside from the sexual changes....Im becoming more and more outgoing. Im meeting wonderful people in this site especially and for the first time feel like I have true friends. This is quite unsettling for Matias and some times causes some friction. I am trying to get him to understand how normal it is to have friends and that its not taking away from our relationship. I had stopped going to support group meetings due to his insecurities and reluctance to go with me. Im going to start up again at the end

of this month as soon as my classes are over.All these changes were frightening and unsettling...but one thing DR Fisher told me.....WLS doesnt change who you are in the long run....you will go through changes, growth, maybe maturity, but deep down your core values,morals,etc will be there...hang on to them and you will be ok. I let go of mine for a while and almost lost the most important person in the world to me...ME!! I truly for a long time didnt know who I was.Sorry this has turned into a book and I feel I havent adequately made any sense here..it feels like Im rambling. I hope we can keep this thread going....its so important to see the whole aspect of WLS. Francisco and I talk about that alot and he knows all my thoughts LOL. I hope I dont get on his nerves LOL when I call him and vent to him. Francisco always tells me its a mind, body, spirit connection and change. Putting together all aspects is

vital!! Gotta love him!Huggles Donna JordonDSJordon@...

Yahoo! Shopping Find Great Deals on Holiday Gifts at Yahoo! Shopping

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Posted
Posted

It's not just being attrative to men, it's the beauty of who you are. You helped me decide to have this WLS without you even knowing it. I looked up to your strength and so what if you have weaknesses too, we're all human. I love you dearly, and you are a beautiful person and many people count on you. It's okay to have friends, but this is where boundaries come in, as husband and wife you should walk on one side of the river and he should walk on the other meeting in the middle of every bridge. What this means is we are individuals and partners, you have interest and friends for yourself, he has interest and friends for himself, and you have time for family and special time set aside for you and him to stay bonded, and that's just not doing everything he likes, sometimes he needs to do things you would like to do. I will bring copies of boundaries, self esteem, anger and co-dependency to our next support

meeting. Simple reading says so much. You take care. LOL Donna Diane Duenas wrote: Ive been so busy between work and school that I havent really had a chance to put my thoughts together and post my thoughts on this subject. I am not as eloquent as Robynn and Francisco, but I will try.I have never felt attractive. I still don't. I just dont have what it is that men want. I mean Im not the type of person that would get a second look from a man. How I got my husband's attention, I will never understand.Ok, first some history. When I was about 10, I was molested by my two older half brothers. Never full out penetration, but just about everything else. Sex became a normal thing for me. While I technically remained a virgin til I met my husband, I had

experienced just about everything else but and at a relatively young age. I had my first intimate relationship with the boy next door for 4 years(11-15)and technically still a virgin. I met and married my husband at 17,weighing in at 135 pounds 3 months pregnant.I began putting on my weight with the birth of each child(5). I reached morbid obesity be the age of 24. I was isolated in my family. We only really socialized with his brothers and sisters. I had no close female friends. My "best" friend was my sister in law. I think that may only be because we were kinda the only newbies in the family.With WLS, suddenly the whole world was open to me. I felt attractive for the first time. Even though I still dont feel I have what a man is looking for. I still do not receive that much attention. But I did begin receiving some attention. It was mostly from men I met through WLS. I did not know how to handle it. One one hand I

loved it...I was recieving intimate attention that I was so starved for. While I love my husband very much...he is very introverted...even with me. I recently found out a little bit about his childhood that really helped me to understand why. But anyway, this one man in particular began paying constant attention to me. Sending me emails several times a day, IMing me, just really talking to me. It almost led to an affair...but he wound up hurting me very very badly emotionally and several of my friends. I was petrified. I had never been in a situation where I thought I would ever stray from my marriage. I guess what Im trying to say here is I was SUDDENLY really going thru my adolescence that I never had before...being married so young and from my past experiences. Weight loss changed how I felt about myself. Health problems made sex limited with my husband and I had a whole new body I wanted to take for a spin.

Thankfully, by finally knowing what I want, I started to really talk to my husband and tell him what I needed from him and Im glad to say things are going very well. Sex with him is getting better all the time. Yes, he still has some physical limitations(he swears Im trying to kill him), but with some creativity it has become better than it has EVER been. We are working on the emotional intimacy and that too is improving.But aside from the sexual changes....Im becoming more and more outgoing. Im meeting wonderful people in this site especially and for the first time feel like I have true friends. This is quite unsettling for Matias and some times causes some friction. I am trying to get him to understand how normal it is to have friends and that its not taking away from our relationship. I had stopped going to support group meetings due to his insecurities and reluctance to go with me. Im going to start up again at the end

of this month as soon as my classes are over.All these changes were frightening and unsettling...but one thing DR Fisher told me.....WLS doesnt change who you are in the long run....you will go through changes, growth, maybe maturity, but deep down your core values,morals,etc will be there...hang on to them and you will be ok. I let go of mine for a while and almost lost the most important person in the world to me...ME!! I truly for a long time didnt know who I was.Sorry this has turned into a book and I feel I havent adequately made any sense here..it feels like Im rambling. I hope we can keep this thread going....its so important to see the whole aspect of WLS. Francisco and I talk about that alot and he knows all my thoughts LOL. I hope I dont get on his nerves LOL when I call him and vent to him. Francisco always tells me its a mind, body, spirit connection and change. Putting together all aspects is

vital!! Gotta love him!Huggles Donna JordonDSJordon@...

Yahoo! Shopping Find Great Deals on Holiday Gifts at Yahoo! Shopping

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Posted
Posted

Thank you so much Donna. You know its always kinda shocking to see

yourself through some one else's eyes. Thank you Thank you

> Ive been so busy between work and school that I havent really had

a

> chance to put my thoughts together and post my thoughts on this

> subject. I am not as eloquent as Robynn and Francisco, but I will

try.

>

> I have never felt attractive. I still don't. I just dont have what

it

> is that men want. I mean Im not the type of person that would get a

> second look from a man. How I got my husband's attention, I will

> never understand.

>

> Ok, first some history. When I was about 10, I was molested by my

two

> older half brothers. Never full out penetration, but just about

> everything else. Sex became a normal thing for me. While I

> technically remained a virgin til I met my husband, I had

experienced

> just about everything else but and at a relatively young age. I had

> my first intimate relationship with the boy next door for 4 years

(11-

> 15)and technically still a virgin. I met and married my husband at

> 17,weighing in at 135 pounds 3 months pregnant.

>

> I began putting on my weight with the birth of each child(5). I

> reached morbid obesity be the age of 24. I was isolated in my

family.

> We only really socialized with his brothers and sisters. I had no

> close female friends. My " best " friend was my sister in law. I

think

> that may only be because we were kinda the only newbies in the

family.

>

> With WLS, suddenly the whole world was open to me. I felt

attractive

> for the first time. Even though I still dont feel I have what a man

> is looking for. I still do not receive that much attention. But I

did

> begin receiving some attention. It was mostly from men I met

through

> WLS. I did not know how to handle it. One one hand I loved it...I

was

> recieving intimate attention that I was so starved for. While I

love

> my husband very much...he is very introverted...even with me. I

> recently found out a little bit about his childhood that really

> helped me to understand why. But anyway, this one man in particular

> began paying constant attention to me. Sending me emails several

> times a day, IMing me, just really talking to me. It almost led to

an

> affair...but he wound up hurting me very very badly emotionally and

> several of my friends. I was petrified. I had never been in a

> situation where I thought I would ever stray from my marriage. I

> guess what Im trying to say here is I was SUDDENLY really going

thru

> my adolescence that I never had before...being married so young and

> from my past experiences. Weight loss changed how I felt about

> myself. Health problems made sex limited with my husband and I had

a

> whole new body I wanted to take for a spin. Thankfully, by finally

> knowing what I want, I started to really talk to my husband and

tell

> him what I needed from him and Im glad to say things are going very

> well. Sex with him is getting better all the time. Yes, he still

has

> some physical limitations(he swears Im trying to kill him), but

with

> some creativity it has become better than it has EVER been. We are

> working on the emotional intimacy and that too is improving.

>

> But aside from the sexual changes....Im becoming more and more

> outgoing. Im meeting wonderful people in this site especially and

for

> the first time feel like I have true friends. This is quite

> unsettling for Matias and some times causes some friction. I am

> trying to get him to understand how normal it is to have friends

and

> that its not taking away from our relationship. I had stopped going

> to support group meetings due to his insecurities and reluctance to

> go with me. Im going to start up again at the end of this month as

> soon as my classes are over.

>

> All these changes were frightening and unsettling...but one thing

DR

> Fisher told me.....WLS doesnt change who you are in the long

> run....you will go through changes, growth, maybe maturity, but

deep

> down your core values,morals,etc will be there...hang on to them

and

> you will be ok. I let go of mine for a while and almost lost the

most

> important person in the world to me...ME!! I truly for a long time

> didnt know who I was.

>

> Sorry this has turned into a book and I feel I havent adequately

made

> any sense here..it feels like Im rambling. I hope we can keep this

> thread going....its so important to see the whole aspect of WLS.

> Francisco and I talk about that alot and he knows all my thoughts

> LOL. I hope I dont get on his nerves LOL when I call him and vent

to

> him. Francisco always tells me its a mind, body, spirit connection

> and change. Putting together all aspects is vital!! Gotta love him!

>

> Huggles

>

>

>

>

>

>

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Share on other sites
Guest guest

Guest guest

Posted
Posted

Thank you so much Donna. You know its always kinda shocking to see

yourself through some one else's eyes. Thank you Thank you

> Ive been so busy between work and school that I havent really had

a

> chance to put my thoughts together and post my thoughts on this

> subject. I am not as eloquent as Robynn and Francisco, but I will

try.

>

> I have never felt attractive. I still don't. I just dont have what

it

> is that men want. I mean Im not the type of person that would get a

> second look from a man. How I got my husband's attention, I will

> never understand.

>

> Ok, first some history. When I was about 10, I was molested by my

two

> older half brothers. Never full out penetration, but just about

> everything else. Sex became a normal thing for me. While I

> technically remained a virgin til I met my husband, I had

experienced

> just about everything else but and at a relatively young age. I had

> my first intimate relationship with the boy next door for 4 years

(11-

> 15)and technically still a virgin. I met and married my husband at

> 17,weighing in at 135 pounds 3 months pregnant.

>

> I began putting on my weight with the birth of each child(5). I

> reached morbid obesity be the age of 24. I was isolated in my

family.

> We only really socialized with his brothers and sisters. I had no

> close female friends. My " best " friend was my sister in law. I

think

> that may only be because we were kinda the only newbies in the

family.

>

> With WLS, suddenly the whole world was open to me. I felt

attractive

> for the first time. Even though I still dont feel I have what a man

> is looking for. I still do not receive that much attention. But I

did

> begin receiving some attention. It was mostly from men I met

through

> WLS. I did not know how to handle it. One one hand I loved it...I

was

> recieving intimate attention that I was so starved for. While I

love

> my husband very much...he is very introverted...even with me. I

> recently found out a little bit about his childhood that really

> helped me to understand why. But anyway, this one man in particular

> began paying constant attention to me. Sending me emails several

> times a day, IMing me, just really talking to me. It almost led to

an

> affair...but he wound up hurting me very very badly emotionally and

> several of my friends. I was petrified. I had never been in a

> situation where I thought I would ever stray from my marriage. I

> guess what Im trying to say here is I was SUDDENLY really going

thru

> my adolescence that I never had before...being married so young and

> from my past experiences. Weight loss changed how I felt about

> myself. Health problems made sex limited with my husband and I had

a

> whole new body I wanted to take for a spin. Thankfully, by finally

> knowing what I want, I started to really talk to my husband and

tell

> him what I needed from him and Im glad to say things are going very

> well. Sex with him is getting better all the time. Yes, he still

has

> some physical limitations(he swears Im trying to kill him), but

with

> some creativity it has become better than it has EVER been. We are

> working on the emotional intimacy and that too is improving.

>

> But aside from the sexual changes....Im becoming more and more

> outgoing. Im meeting wonderful people in this site especially and

for

> the first time feel like I have true friends. This is quite

> unsettling for Matias and some times causes some friction. I am

> trying to get him to understand how normal it is to have friends

and

> that its not taking away from our relationship. I had stopped going

> to support group meetings due to his insecurities and reluctance to

> go with me. Im going to start up again at the end of this month as

> soon as my classes are over.

>

> All these changes were frightening and unsettling...but one thing

DR

> Fisher told me.....WLS doesnt change who you are in the long

> run....you will go through changes, growth, maybe maturity, but

deep

> down your core values,morals,etc will be there...hang on to them

and

> you will be ok. I let go of mine for a while and almost lost the

most

> important person in the world to me...ME!! I truly for a long time

> didnt know who I was.

>

> Sorry this has turned into a book and I feel I havent adequately

made

> any sense here..it feels like Im rambling. I hope we can keep this

> thread going....its so important to see the whole aspect of WLS.

> Francisco and I talk about that alot and he knows all my thoughts

> LOL. I hope I dont get on his nerves LOL when I call him and vent

to

> him. Francisco always tells me its a mind, body, spirit connection

> and change. Putting together all aspects is vital!! Gotta love him!

>

> Huggles

>

>

>

>

>

>

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest guest

Guest guest

Posted
Posted

Thank you so much Donna. You know its always kinda shocking to see

yourself through some one else's eyes. Thank you Thank you

> Ive been so busy between work and school that I havent really had

a

> chance to put my thoughts together and post my thoughts on this

> subject. I am not as eloquent as Robynn and Francisco, but I will

try.

>

> I have never felt attractive. I still don't. I just dont have what

it

> is that men want. I mean Im not the type of person that would get a

> second look from a man. How I got my husband's attention, I will

> never understand.

>

> Ok, first some history. When I was about 10, I was molested by my

two

> older half brothers. Never full out penetration, but just about

> everything else. Sex became a normal thing for me. While I

> technically remained a virgin til I met my husband, I had

experienced

> just about everything else but and at a relatively young age. I had

> my first intimate relationship with the boy next door for 4 years

(11-

> 15)and technically still a virgin. I met and married my husband at

> 17,weighing in at 135 pounds 3 months pregnant.

>

> I began putting on my weight with the birth of each child(5). I

> reached morbid obesity be the age of 24. I was isolated in my

family.

> We only really socialized with his brothers and sisters. I had no

> close female friends. My " best " friend was my sister in law. I

think

> that may only be because we were kinda the only newbies in the

family.

>

> With WLS, suddenly the whole world was open to me. I felt

attractive

> for the first time. Even though I still dont feel I have what a man

> is looking for. I still do not receive that much attention. But I

did

> begin receiving some attention. It was mostly from men I met

through

> WLS. I did not know how to handle it. One one hand I loved it...I

was

> recieving intimate attention that I was so starved for. While I

love

> my husband very much...he is very introverted...even with me. I

> recently found out a little bit about his childhood that really

> helped me to understand why. But anyway, this one man in particular

> began paying constant attention to me. Sending me emails several

> times a day, IMing me, just really talking to me. It almost led to

an

> affair...but he wound up hurting me very very badly emotionally and

> several of my friends. I was petrified. I had never been in a

> situation where I thought I would ever stray from my marriage. I

> guess what Im trying to say here is I was SUDDENLY really going

thru

> my adolescence that I never had before...being married so young and

> from my past experiences. Weight loss changed how I felt about

> myself. Health problems made sex limited with my husband and I had

a

> whole new body I wanted to take for a spin. Thankfully, by finally

> knowing what I want, I started to really talk to my husband and

tell

> him what I needed from him and Im glad to say things are going very

> well. Sex with him is getting better all the time. Yes, he still

has

> some physical limitations(he swears Im trying to kill him), but

with

> some creativity it has become better than it has EVER been. We are

> working on the emotional intimacy and that too is improving.

>

> But aside from the sexual changes....Im becoming more and more

> outgoing. Im meeting wonderful people in this site especially and

for

> the first time feel like I have true friends. This is quite

> unsettling for Matias and some times causes some friction. I am

> trying to get him to understand how normal it is to have friends

and

> that its not taking away from our relationship. I had stopped going

> to support group meetings due to his insecurities and reluctance to

> go with me. Im going to start up again at the end of this month as

> soon as my classes are over.

>

> All these changes were frightening and unsettling...but one thing

DR

> Fisher told me.....WLS doesnt change who you are in the long

> run....you will go through changes, growth, maybe maturity, but

deep

> down your core values,morals,etc will be there...hang on to them

and

> you will be ok. I let go of mine for a while and almost lost the

most

> important person in the world to me...ME!! I truly for a long time

> didnt know who I was.

>

> Sorry this has turned into a book and I feel I havent adequately

made

> any sense here..it feels like Im rambling. I hope we can keep this

> thread going....its so important to see the whole aspect of WLS.

> Francisco and I talk about that alot and he knows all my thoughts

> LOL. I hope I dont get on his nerves LOL when I call him and vent

to

> him. Francisco always tells me its a mind, body, spirit connection

> and change. Putting together all aspects is vital!! Gotta love him!

>

> Huggles

>

>

>

>

>

>

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Guest guest

Guest guest

Posted
Posted

Thank you so much Donna. You know its always kinda shocking to see

yourself through some one else's eyes. Thank you Thank you

> Ive been so busy between work and school that I havent really had

a

> chance to put my thoughts together and post my thoughts on this

> subject. I am not as eloquent as Robynn and Francisco, but I will

try.

>

> I have never felt attractive. I still don't. I just dont have what

it

> is that men want. I mean Im not the type of person that would get a

> second look from a man. How I got my husband's attention, I will

> never understand.

>

> Ok, first some history. When I was about 10, I was molested by my

two

> older half brothers. Never full out penetration, but just about

> everything else. Sex became a normal thing for me. While I

> technically remained a virgin til I met my husband, I had

experienced

> just about everything else but and at a relatively young age. I had

> my first intimate relationship with the boy next door for 4 years

(11-

> 15)and technically still a virgin. I met and married my husband at

> 17,weighing in at 135 pounds 3 months pregnant.

>

> I began putting on my weight with the birth of each child(5). I

> reached morbid obesity be the age of 24. I was isolated in my

family.

> We only really socialized with his brothers and sisters. I had no

> close female friends. My " best " friend was my sister in law. I

think

> that may only be because we were kinda the only newbies in the

family.

>

> With WLS, suddenly the whole world was open to me. I felt

attractive

> for the first time. Even though I still dont feel I have what a man

> is looking for. I still do not receive that much attention. But I

did

> begin receiving some attention. It was mostly from men I met

through

> WLS. I did not know how to handle it. One one hand I loved it...I

was

> recieving intimate attention that I was so starved for. While I

love

> my husband very much...he is very introverted...even with me. I

> recently found out a little bit about his childhood that really

> helped me to understand why. But anyway, this one man in particular

> began paying constant attention to me. Sending me emails several

> times a day, IMing me, just really talking to me. It almost led to

an

> affair...but he wound up hurting me very very badly emotionally and

> several of my friends. I was petrified. I had never been in a

> situation where I thought I would ever stray from my marriage. I

> guess what Im trying to say here is I was SUDDENLY really going

thru

> my adolescence that I never had before...being married so young and

> from my past experiences. Weight loss changed how I felt about

> myself. Health problems made sex limited with my husband and I had

a

> whole new body I wanted to take for a spin. Thankfully, by finally

> knowing what I want, I started to really talk to my husband and

tell

> him what I needed from him and Im glad to say things are going very

> well. Sex with him is getting better all the time. Yes, he still

has

> some physical limitations(he swears Im trying to kill him), but

with

> some creativity it has become better than it has EVER been. We are

> working on the emotional intimacy and that too is improving.

>

> But aside from the sexual changes....Im becoming more and more

> outgoing. Im meeting wonderful people in this site especially and

for

> the first time feel like I have true friends. This is quite

> unsettling for Matias and some times causes some friction. I am

> trying to get him to understand how normal it is to have friends

and

> that its not taking away from our relationship. I had stopped going

> to support group meetings due to his insecurities and reluctance to

> go with me. Im going to start up again at the end of this month as

> soon as my classes are over.

>

> All these changes were frightening and unsettling...but one thing

DR

> Fisher told me.....WLS doesnt change who you are in the long

> run....you will go through changes, growth, maybe maturity, but

deep

> down your core values,morals,etc will be there...hang on to them

and

> you will be ok. I let go of mine for a while and almost lost the

most

> important person in the world to me...ME!! I truly for a long time

> didnt know who I was.

>

> Sorry this has turned into a book and I feel I havent adequately

made

> any sense here..it feels like Im rambling. I hope we can keep this

> thread going....its so important to see the whole aspect of WLS.

> Francisco and I talk about that alot and he knows all my thoughts

> LOL. I hope I dont get on his nerves LOL when I call him and vent

to

> him. Francisco always tells me its a mind, body, spirit connection

> and change. Putting together all aspects is vital!! Gotta love him!

>

> Huggles

>

>

>

>

>

>

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Share on other sites
Guest guest

Guest guest

Posted
Posted

:

Thanks for sharing this with us. Don't minimize yourself. You are

such a beautiful person.

Francisco

>

> Ive been so busy between work and school that I havent really had a

> chance to put my thoughts together and post my thoughts on this

> subject. I am not as eloquent as Robynn and Francisco, but I will

try.

>

> I have never felt attractive. I still don't. I just dont have what

it

> is that men want. I mean Im not the type of person that would get a

> second look from a man. How I got my husband's attention, I will

> never understand.

>

> Ok, first some history. When I was about 10, I was molested by my

two

> older half brothers. Never full out penetration, but just about

> everything else. Sex became a normal thing for me. While I

> technically remained a virgin til I met my husband, I had

experienced

> just about everything else but and at a relatively young age. I had

> my first intimate relationship with the boy next door for 4 years

(11-

> 15)and technically still a virgin. I met and married my husband at

> 17,weighing in at 135 pounds 3 months pregnant.

>

> I began putting on my weight with the birth of each child(5). I

> reached morbid obesity be the age of 24. I was isolated in my

family.

> We only really socialized with his brothers and sisters. I had no

> close female friends. My " best " friend was my sister in law. I

think

> that may only be because we were kinda the only newbies in the

family.

>

> With WLS, suddenly the whole world was open to me. I felt

attractive

> for the first time. Even though I still dont feel I have what a man

> is looking for. I still do not receive that much attention. But I

did

> begin receiving some attention. It was mostly from men I met

through

> WLS. I did not know how to handle it. One one hand I loved it...I

was

> recieving intimate attention that I was so starved for. While I

love

> my husband very much...he is very introverted...even with me. I

> recently found out a little bit about his childhood that really

> helped me to understand why. But anyway, this one man in particular

> began paying constant attention to me. Sending me emails several

> times a day, IMing me, just really talking to me. It almost led to

an

> affair...but he wound up hurting me very very badly emotionally and

> several of my friends. I was petrified. I had never been in a

> situation where I thought I would ever stray from my marriage. I

> guess what Im trying to say here is I was SUDDENLY really going

thru

> my adolescence that I never had before...being married so young and

> from my past experiences. Weight loss changed how I felt about

> myself. Health problems made sex limited with my husband and I had

a

> whole new body I wanted to take for a spin. Thankfully, by finally

> knowing what I want, I started to really talk to my husband and

tell

> him what I needed from him and Im glad to say things are going very

> well. Sex with him is getting better all the time. Yes, he still

has

> some physical limitations(he swears Im trying to kill him), but

with

> some creativity it has become better than it has EVER been. We are

> working on the emotional intimacy and that too is improving.

>

> But aside from the sexual changes....Im becoming more and more

> outgoing. Im meeting wonderful people in this site especially and

for

> the first time feel like I have true friends. This is quite

> unsettling for Matias and some times causes some friction. I am

> trying to get him to understand how normal it is to have friends

and

> that its not taking away from our relationship. I had stopped going

> to support group meetings due to his insecurities and reluctance to

> go with me. Im going to start up again at the end of this month as

> soon as my classes are over.

>

> All these changes were frightening and unsettling...but one thing

DR

> Fisher told me.....WLS doesnt change who you are in the long

> run....you will go through changes, growth, maybe maturity, but

deep

> down your core values,morals,etc will be there...hang on to them

and

> you will be ok. I let go of mine for a while and almost lost the

most

> important person in the world to me...ME!! I truly for a long time

> didnt know who I was.

>

> Sorry this has turned into a book and I feel I havent adequately

made

> any sense here..it feels like Im rambling. I hope we can keep this

> thread going....its so important to see the whole aspect of WLS.

> Francisco and I talk about that alot and he knows all my thoughts

> LOL. I hope I dont get on his nerves LOL when I call him and vent

to

> him. Francisco always tells me its a mind, body, spirit connection

> and change. Putting together all aspects is vital!! Gotta love him!

>

> Huggles

>

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest guest

Guest guest

Posted
Posted

:

Thanks for sharing this with us. Don't minimize yourself. You are

such a beautiful person.

Francisco

>

> Ive been so busy between work and school that I havent really had a

> chance to put my thoughts together and post my thoughts on this

> subject. I am not as eloquent as Robynn and Francisco, but I will

try.

>

> I have never felt attractive. I still don't. I just dont have what

it

> is that men want. I mean Im not the type of person that would get a

> second look from a man. How I got my husband's attention, I will

> never understand.

>

> Ok, first some history. When I was about 10, I was molested by my

two

> older half brothers. Never full out penetration, but just about

> everything else. Sex became a normal thing for me. While I

> technically remained a virgin til I met my husband, I had

experienced

> just about everything else but and at a relatively young age. I had

> my first intimate relationship with the boy next door for 4 years

(11-

> 15)and technically still a virgin. I met and married my husband at

> 17,weighing in at 135 pounds 3 months pregnant.

>

> I began putting on my weight with the birth of each child(5). I

> reached morbid obesity be the age of 24. I was isolated in my

family.

> We only really socialized with his brothers and sisters. I had no

> close female friends. My " best " friend was my sister in law. I

think

> that may only be because we were kinda the only newbies in the

family.

>

> With WLS, suddenly the whole world was open to me. I felt

attractive

> for the first time. Even though I still dont feel I have what a man

> is looking for. I still do not receive that much attention. But I

did

> begin receiving some attention. It was mostly from men I met

through

> WLS. I did not know how to handle it. One one hand I loved it...I

was

> recieving intimate attention that I was so starved for. While I

love

> my husband very much...he is very introverted...even with me. I

> recently found out a little bit about his childhood that really

> helped me to understand why. But anyway, this one man in particular

> began paying constant attention to me. Sending me emails several

> times a day, IMing me, just really talking to me. It almost led to

an

> affair...but he wound up hurting me very very badly emotionally and

> several of my friends. I was petrified. I had never been in a

> situation where I thought I would ever stray from my marriage. I

> guess what Im trying to say here is I was SUDDENLY really going

thru

> my adolescence that I never had before...being married so young and

> from my past experiences. Weight loss changed how I felt about

> myself. Health problems made sex limited with my husband and I had

a

> whole new body I wanted to take for a spin. Thankfully, by finally

> knowing what I want, I started to really talk to my husband and

tell

> him what I needed from him and Im glad to say things are going very

> well. Sex with him is getting better all the time. Yes, he still

has

> some physical limitations(he swears Im trying to kill him), but

with

> some creativity it has become better than it has EVER been. We are

> working on the emotional intimacy and that too is improving.

>

> But aside from the sexual changes....Im becoming more and more

> outgoing. Im meeting wonderful people in this site especially and

for

> the first time feel like I have true friends. This is quite

> unsettling for Matias and some times causes some friction. I am

> trying to get him to understand how normal it is to have friends

and

> that its not taking away from our relationship. I had stopped going

> to support group meetings due to his insecurities and reluctance to

> go with me. Im going to start up again at the end of this month as

> soon as my classes are over.

>

> All these changes were frightening and unsettling...but one thing

DR

> Fisher told me.....WLS doesnt change who you are in the long

> run....you will go through changes, growth, maybe maturity, but

deep

> down your core values,morals,etc will be there...hang on to them

and

> you will be ok. I let go of mine for a while and almost lost the

most

> important person in the world to me...ME!! I truly for a long time

> didnt know who I was.

>

> Sorry this has turned into a book and I feel I havent adequately

made

> any sense here..it feels like Im rambling. I hope we can keep this

> thread going....its so important to see the whole aspect of WLS.

> Francisco and I talk about that alot and he knows all my thoughts

> LOL. I hope I dont get on his nerves LOL when I call him and vent

to

> him. Francisco always tells me its a mind, body, spirit connection

> and change. Putting together all aspects is vital!! Gotta love him!

>

> Huggles

>

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest guest

Guest guest

Posted
Posted

:

Thanks for sharing this with us. Don't minimize yourself. You are

such a beautiful person.

Francisco

>

> Ive been so busy between work and school that I havent really had a

> chance to put my thoughts together and post my thoughts on this

> subject. I am not as eloquent as Robynn and Francisco, but I will

try.

>

> I have never felt attractive. I still don't. I just dont have what

it

> is that men want. I mean Im not the type of person that would get a

> second look from a man. How I got my husband's attention, I will

> never understand.

>

> Ok, first some history. When I was about 10, I was molested by my

two

> older half brothers. Never full out penetration, but just about

> everything else. Sex became a normal thing for me. While I

> technically remained a virgin til I met my husband, I had

experienced

> just about everything else but and at a relatively young age. I had

> my first intimate relationship with the boy next door for 4 years

(11-

> 15)and technically still a virgin. I met and married my husband at

> 17,weighing in at 135 pounds 3 months pregnant.

>

> I began putting on my weight with the birth of each child(5). I

> reached morbid obesity be the age of 24. I was isolated in my

family.

> We only really socialized with his brothers and sisters. I had no

> close female friends. My " best " friend was my sister in law. I

think

> that may only be because we were kinda the only newbies in the

family.

>

> With WLS, suddenly the whole world was open to me. I felt

attractive

> for the first time. Even though I still dont feel I have what a man

> is looking for. I still do not receive that much attention. But I

did

> begin receiving some attention. It was mostly from men I met

through

> WLS. I did not know how to handle it. One one hand I loved it...I

was

> recieving intimate attention that I was so starved for. While I

love

> my husband very much...he is very introverted...even with me. I

> recently found out a little bit about his childhood that really

> helped me to understand why. But anyway, this one man in particular

> began paying constant attention to me. Sending me emails several

> times a day, IMing me, just really talking to me. It almost led to

an

> affair...but he wound up hurting me very very badly emotionally and

> several of my friends. I was petrified. I had never been in a

> situation where I thought I would ever stray from my marriage. I

> guess what Im trying to say here is I was SUDDENLY really going

thru

> my adolescence that I never had before...being married so young and

> from my past experiences. Weight loss changed how I felt about

> myself. Health problems made sex limited with my husband and I had

a

> whole new body I wanted to take for a spin. Thankfully, by finally

> knowing what I want, I started to really talk to my husband and

tell

> him what I needed from him and Im glad to say things are going very

> well. Sex with him is getting better all the time. Yes, he still

has

> some physical limitations(he swears Im trying to kill him), but

with

> some creativity it has become better than it has EVER been. We are

> working on the emotional intimacy and that too is improving.

>

> But aside from the sexual changes....Im becoming more and more

> outgoing. Im meeting wonderful people in this site especially and

for

> the first time feel like I have true friends. This is quite

> unsettling for Matias and some times causes some friction. I am

> trying to get him to understand how normal it is to have friends

and

> that its not taking away from our relationship. I had stopped going

> to support group meetings due to his insecurities and reluctance to

> go with me. Im going to start up again at the end of this month as

> soon as my classes are over.

>

> All these changes were frightening and unsettling...but one thing

DR

> Fisher told me.....WLS doesnt change who you are in the long

> run....you will go through changes, growth, maybe maturity, but

deep

> down your core values,morals,etc will be there...hang on to them

and

> you will be ok. I let go of mine for a while and almost lost the

most

> important person in the world to me...ME!! I truly for a long time

> didnt know who I was.

>

> Sorry this has turned into a book and I feel I havent adequately

made

> any sense here..it feels like Im rambling. I hope we can keep this

> thread going....its so important to see the whole aspect of WLS.

> Francisco and I talk about that alot and he knows all my thoughts

> LOL. I hope I dont get on his nerves LOL when I call him and vent

to

> him. Francisco always tells me its a mind, body, spirit connection

> and change. Putting together all aspects is vital!! Gotta love him!

>

> Huggles

>

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest guest

Guest guest

Posted
Posted

:

Thanks for sharing this with us. Don't minimize yourself. You are

such a beautiful person.

Francisco

>

> Ive been so busy between work and school that I havent really had a

> chance to put my thoughts together and post my thoughts on this

> subject. I am not as eloquent as Robynn and Francisco, but I will

try.

>

> I have never felt attractive. I still don't. I just dont have what

it

> is that men want. I mean Im not the type of person that would get a

> second look from a man. How I got my husband's attention, I will

> never understand.

>

> Ok, first some history. When I was about 10, I was molested by my

two

> older half brothers. Never full out penetration, but just about

> everything else. Sex became a normal thing for me. While I

> technically remained a virgin til I met my husband, I had

experienced

> just about everything else but and at a relatively young age. I had

> my first intimate relationship with the boy next door for 4 years

(11-

> 15)and technically still a virgin. I met and married my husband at

> 17,weighing in at 135 pounds 3 months pregnant.

>

> I began putting on my weight with the birth of each child(5). I

> reached morbid obesity be the age of 24. I was isolated in my

family.

> We only really socialized with his brothers and sisters. I had no

> close female friends. My " best " friend was my sister in law. I

think

> that may only be because we were kinda the only newbies in the

family.

>

> With WLS, suddenly the whole world was open to me. I felt

attractive

> for the first time. Even though I still dont feel I have what a man

> is looking for. I still do not receive that much attention. But I

did

> begin receiving some attention. It was mostly from men I met

through

> WLS. I did not know how to handle it. One one hand I loved it...I

was

> recieving intimate attention that I was so starved for. While I

love

> my husband very much...he is very introverted...even with me. I

> recently found out a little bit about his childhood that really

> helped me to understand why. But anyway, this one man in particular

> began paying constant attention to me. Sending me emails several

> times a day, IMing me, just really talking to me. It almost led to

an

> affair...but he wound up hurting me very very badly emotionally and

> several of my friends. I was petrified. I had never been in a

> situation where I thought I would ever stray from my marriage. I

> guess what Im trying to say here is I was SUDDENLY really going

thru

> my adolescence that I never had before...being married so young and

> from my past experiences. Weight loss changed how I felt about

> myself. Health problems made sex limited with my husband and I had

a

> whole new body I wanted to take for a spin. Thankfully, by finally

> knowing what I want, I started to really talk to my husband and

tell

> him what I needed from him and Im glad to say things are going very

> well. Sex with him is getting better all the time. Yes, he still

has

> some physical limitations(he swears Im trying to kill him), but

with

> some creativity it has become better than it has EVER been. We are

> working on the emotional intimacy and that too is improving.

>

> But aside from the sexual changes....Im becoming more and more

> outgoing. Im meeting wonderful people in this site especially and

for

> the first time feel like I have true friends. This is quite

> unsettling for Matias and some times causes some friction. I am

> trying to get him to understand how normal it is to have friends

and

> that its not taking away from our relationship. I had stopped going

> to support group meetings due to his insecurities and reluctance to

> go with me. Im going to start up again at the end of this month as

> soon as my classes are over.

>

> All these changes were frightening and unsettling...but one thing

DR

> Fisher told me.....WLS doesnt change who you are in the long

> run....you will go through changes, growth, maybe maturity, but

deep

> down your core values,morals,etc will be there...hang on to them

and

> you will be ok. I let go of mine for a while and almost lost the

most

> important person in the world to me...ME!! I truly for a long time

> didnt know who I was.

>

> Sorry this has turned into a book and I feel I havent adequately

made

> any sense here..it feels like Im rambling. I hope we can keep this

> thread going....its so important to see the whole aspect of WLS.

> Francisco and I talk about that alot and he knows all my thoughts

> LOL. I hope I dont get on his nerves LOL when I call him and vent

to

> him. Francisco always tells me its a mind, body, spirit connection

> and change. Putting together all aspects is vital!! Gotta love him!

>

> Huggles

>

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest guest

Guest guest

Posted
Posted

Thanks Francisco...you are too!

Huggles

> >

> > Ive been so busy between work and school that I havent really

had a

> > chance to put my thoughts together and post my thoughts on this

> > subject. I am not as eloquent as Robynn and Francisco, but I

will

> try.

> >

> > I have never felt attractive. I still don't. I just dont have

what

> it

> > is that men want. I mean Im not the type of person that would

get a

> > second look from a man. How I got my husband's attention, I will

> > never understand.

> >

> > Ok, first some history. When I was about 10, I was molested by

my

> two

> > older half brothers. Never full out penetration, but just about

> > everything else. Sex became a normal thing for me. While I

> > technically remained a virgin til I met my husband, I had

> experienced

> > just about everything else but and at a relatively young age. I

had

> > my first intimate relationship with the boy next door for 4 years

> (11-

> > 15)and technically still a virgin. I met and married my husband

at

> > 17,weighing in at 135 pounds 3 months pregnant.

> >

> > I began putting on my weight with the birth of each child(5). I

> > reached morbid obesity be the age of 24. I was isolated in my

> family.

> > We only really socialized with his brothers and sisters. I had

no

> > close female friends. My " best " friend was my sister in law. I

> think

> > that may only be because we were kinda the only newbies in the

> family.

> >

> > With WLS, suddenly the whole world was open to me. I felt

> attractive

> > for the first time. Even though I still dont feel I have what a

man

> > is looking for. I still do not receive that much attention. But

I

> did

> > begin receiving some attention. It was mostly from men I met

> through

> > WLS. I did not know how to handle it. One one hand I loved

it...I

> was

> > recieving intimate attention that I was so starved for. While I

> love

> > my husband very much...he is very introverted...even with me. I

> > recently found out a little bit about his childhood that really

> > helped me to understand why. But anyway, this one man in

particular

> > began paying constant attention to me. Sending me emails several

> > times a day, IMing me, just really talking to me. It almost led

to

> an

> > affair...but he wound up hurting me very very badly emotionally

and

> > several of my friends. I was petrified. I had never been in a

> > situation where I thought I would ever stray from my marriage. I

> > guess what Im trying to say here is I was SUDDENLY really going

> thru

> > my adolescence that I never had before...being married so young

and

> > from my past experiences. Weight loss changed how I felt about

> > myself. Health problems made sex limited with my husband and I

had

> a

> > whole new body I wanted to take for a spin. Thankfully, by

finally

> > knowing what I want, I started to really talk to my husband and

> tell

> > him what I needed from him and Im glad to say things are going

very

> > well. Sex with him is getting better all the time. Yes, he still

> has

> > some physical limitations(he swears Im trying to kill him), but

> with

> > some creativity it has become better than it has EVER been. We

are

> > working on the emotional intimacy and that too is improving.

> >

> > But aside from the sexual changes....Im becoming more and more

> > outgoing. Im meeting wonderful people in this site especially

and

> for

> > the first time feel like I have true friends. This is quite

> > unsettling for Matias and some times causes some friction. I am

> > trying to get him to understand how normal it is to have friends

> and

> > that its not taking away from our relationship. I had stopped

going

> > to support group meetings due to his insecurities and reluctance

to

> > go with me. Im going to start up again at the end of this month

as

> > soon as my classes are over.

> >

> > All these changes were frightening and unsettling...but one

thing

> DR

> > Fisher told me.....WLS doesnt change who you are in the long

> > run....you will go through changes, growth, maybe maturity, but

> deep

> > down your core values,morals,etc will be there...hang on to them

> and

> > you will be ok. I let go of mine for a while and almost lost the

> most

> > important person in the world to me...ME!! I truly for a long

time

> > didnt know who I was.

> >

> > Sorry this has turned into a book and I feel I havent adequately

> made

> > any sense here..it feels like Im rambling. I hope we can keep

this

> > thread going....its so important to see the whole aspect of WLS.

> > Francisco and I talk about that alot and he knows all my

thoughts

> > LOL. I hope I dont get on his nerves LOL when I call him and

vent

> to

> > him. Francisco always tells me its a mind, body, spirit

connection

> > and change. Putting together all aspects is vital!! Gotta love

him!

> >

> > Huggles

> >

>

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Share on other sites
Guest guest

Guest guest

Posted
Posted

Thanks Francisco...you are too!

Huggles

> >

> > Ive been so busy between work and school that I havent really

had a

> > chance to put my thoughts together and post my thoughts on this

> > subject. I am not as eloquent as Robynn and Francisco, but I

will

> try.

> >

> > I have never felt attractive. I still don't. I just dont have

what

> it

> > is that men want. I mean Im not the type of person that would

get a

> > second look from a man. How I got my husband's attention, I will

> > never understand.

> >

> > Ok, first some history. When I was about 10, I was molested by

my

> two

> > older half brothers. Never full out penetration, but just about

> > everything else. Sex became a normal thing for me. While I

> > technically remained a virgin til I met my husband, I had

> experienced

> > just about everything else but and at a relatively young age. I

had

> > my first intimate relationship with the boy next door for 4 years

> (11-

> > 15)and technically still a virgin. I met and married my husband

at

> > 17,weighing in at 135 pounds 3 months pregnant.

> >

> > I began putting on my weight with the birth of each child(5). I

> > reached morbid obesity be the age of 24. I was isolated in my

> family.

> > We only really socialized with his brothers and sisters. I had

no

> > close female friends. My " best " friend was my sister in law. I

> think

> > that may only be because we were kinda the only newbies in the

> family.

> >

> > With WLS, suddenly the whole world was open to me. I felt

> attractive

> > for the first time. Even though I still dont feel I have what a

man

> > is looking for. I still do not receive that much attention. But

I

> did

> > begin receiving some attention. It was mostly from men I met

> through

> > WLS. I did not know how to handle it. One one hand I loved

it...I

> was

> > recieving intimate attention that I was so starved for. While I

> love

> > my husband very much...he is very introverted...even with me. I

> > recently found out a little bit about his childhood that really

> > helped me to understand why. But anyway, this one man in

particular

> > began paying constant attention to me. Sending me emails several

> > times a day, IMing me, just really talking to me. It almost led

to

> an

> > affair...but he wound up hurting me very very badly emotionally

and

> > several of my friends. I was petrified. I had never been in a

> > situation where I thought I would ever stray from my marriage. I

> > guess what Im trying to say here is I was SUDDENLY really going

> thru

> > my adolescence that I never had before...being married so young

and

> > from my past experiences. Weight loss changed how I felt about

> > myself. Health problems made sex limited with my husband and I

had

> a

> > whole new body I wanted to take for a spin. Thankfully, by

finally

> > knowing what I want, I started to really talk to my husband and

> tell

> > him what I needed from him and Im glad to say things are going

very

> > well. Sex with him is getting better all the time. Yes, he still

> has

> > some physical limitations(he swears Im trying to kill him), but

> with

> > some creativity it has become better than it has EVER been. We

are

> > working on the emotional intimacy and that too is improving.

> >

> > But aside from the sexual changes....Im becoming more and more

> > outgoing. Im meeting wonderful people in this site especially

and

> for

> > the first time feel like I have true friends. This is quite

> > unsettling for Matias and some times causes some friction. I am

> > trying to get him to understand how normal it is to have friends

> and

> > that its not taking away from our relationship. I had stopped

going

> > to support group meetings due to his insecurities and reluctance

to

> > go with me. Im going to start up again at the end of this month

as

> > soon as my classes are over.

> >

> > All these changes were frightening and unsettling...but one

thing

> DR

> > Fisher told me.....WLS doesnt change who you are in the long

> > run....you will go through changes, growth, maybe maturity, but

> deep

> > down your core values,morals,etc will be there...hang on to them

> and

> > you will be ok. I let go of mine for a while and almost lost the

> most

> > important person in the world to me...ME!! I truly for a long

time

> > didnt know who I was.

> >

> > Sorry this has turned into a book and I feel I havent adequately

> made

> > any sense here..it feels like Im rambling. I hope we can keep

this

> > thread going....its so important to see the whole aspect of WLS.

> > Francisco and I talk about that alot and he knows all my

thoughts

> > LOL. I hope I dont get on his nerves LOL when I call him and

vent

> to

> > him. Francisco always tells me its a mind, body, spirit

connection

> > and change. Putting together all aspects is vital!! Gotta love

him!

> >

> > Huggles

> >

>

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest guest

Guest guest

Posted
Posted

Thanks Francisco...you are too!

Huggles

> >

> > Ive been so busy between work and school that I havent really

had a

> > chance to put my thoughts together and post my thoughts on this

> > subject. I am not as eloquent as Robynn and Francisco, but I

will

> try.

> >

> > I have never felt attractive. I still don't. I just dont have

what

> it

> > is that men want. I mean Im not the type of person that would

get a

> > second look from a man. How I got my husband's attention, I will

> > never understand.

> >

> > Ok, first some history. When I was about 10, I was molested by

my

> two

> > older half brothers. Never full out penetration, but just about

> > everything else. Sex became a normal thing for me. While I

> > technically remained a virgin til I met my husband, I had

> experienced

> > just about everything else but and at a relatively young age. I

had

> > my first intimate relationship with the boy next door for 4 years

> (11-

> > 15)and technically still a virgin. I met and married my husband

at

> > 17,weighing in at 135 pounds 3 months pregnant.

> >

> > I began putting on my weight with the birth of each child(5). I

> > reached morbid obesity be the age of 24. I was isolated in my

> family.

> > We only really socialized with his brothers and sisters. I had

no

> > close female friends. My " best " friend was my sister in law. I

> think

> > that may only be because we were kinda the only newbies in the

> family.

> >

> > With WLS, suddenly the whole world was open to me. I felt

> attractive

> > for the first time. Even though I still dont feel I have what a

man

> > is looking for. I still do not receive that much attention. But

I

> did

> > begin receiving some attention. It was mostly from men I met

> through

> > WLS. I did not know how to handle it. One one hand I loved

it...I

> was

> > recieving intimate attention that I was so starved for. While I

> love

> > my husband very much...he is very introverted...even with me. I

> > recently found out a little bit about his childhood that really

> > helped me to understand why. But anyway, this one man in

particular

> > began paying constant attention to me. Sending me emails several

> > times a day, IMing me, just really talking to me. It almost led

to

> an

> > affair...but he wound up hurting me very very badly emotionally

and

> > several of my friends. I was petrified. I had never been in a

> > situation where I thought I would ever stray from my marriage. I

> > guess what Im trying to say here is I was SUDDENLY really going

> thru

> > my adolescence that I never had before...being married so young

and

> > from my past experiences. Weight loss changed how I felt about

> > myself. Health problems made sex limited with my husband and I

had

> a

> > whole new body I wanted to take for a spin. Thankfully, by

finally

> > knowing what I want, I started to really talk to my husband and

> tell

> > him what I needed from him and Im glad to say things are going

very

> > well. Sex with him is getting better all the time. Yes, he still

> has

> > some physical limitations(he swears Im trying to kill him), but

> with

> > some creativity it has become better than it has EVER been. We

are

> > working on the emotional intimacy and that too is improving.

> >

> > But aside from the sexual changes....Im becoming more and more

> > outgoing. Im meeting wonderful people in this site especially

and

> for

> > the first time feel like I have true friends. This is quite

> > unsettling for Matias and some times causes some friction. I am

> > trying to get him to understand how normal it is to have friends

> and

> > that its not taking away from our relationship. I had stopped

going

> > to support group meetings due to his insecurities and reluctance

to

> > go with me. Im going to start up again at the end of this month

as

> > soon as my classes are over.

> >

> > All these changes were frightening and unsettling...but one

thing

> DR

> > Fisher told me.....WLS doesnt change who you are in the long

> > run....you will go through changes, growth, maybe maturity, but

> deep

> > down your core values,morals,etc will be there...hang on to them

> and

> > you will be ok. I let go of mine for a while and almost lost the

> most

> > important person in the world to me...ME!! I truly for a long

time

> > didnt know who I was.

> >

> > Sorry this has turned into a book and I feel I havent adequately

> made

> > any sense here..it feels like Im rambling. I hope we can keep

this

> > thread going....its so important to see the whole aspect of WLS.

> > Francisco and I talk about that alot and he knows all my

thoughts

> > LOL. I hope I dont get on his nerves LOL when I call him and

vent

> to

> > him. Francisco always tells me its a mind, body, spirit

connection

> > and change. Putting together all aspects is vital!! Gotta love

him!

> >

> > Huggles

> >

>

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest guest

Guest guest

Posted
Posted

Thanks Francisco...you are too!

Huggles

> >

> > Ive been so busy between work and school that I havent really

had a

> > chance to put my thoughts together and post my thoughts on this

> > subject. I am not as eloquent as Robynn and Francisco, but I

will

> try.

> >

> > I have never felt attractive. I still don't. I just dont have

what

> it

> > is that men want. I mean Im not the type of person that would

get a

> > second look from a man. How I got my husband's attention, I will

> > never understand.

> >

> > Ok, first some history. When I was about 10, I was molested by

my

> two

> > older half brothers. Never full out penetration, but just about

> > everything else. Sex became a normal thing for me. While I

> > technically remained a virgin til I met my husband, I had

> experienced

> > just about everything else but and at a relatively young age. I

had

> > my first intimate relationship with the boy next door for 4 years

> (11-

> > 15)and technically still a virgin. I met and married my husband

at

> > 17,weighing in at 135 pounds 3 months pregnant.

> >

> > I began putting on my weight with the birth of each child(5). I

> > reached morbid obesity be the age of 24. I was isolated in my

> family.

> > We only really socialized with his brothers and sisters. I had

no

> > close female friends. My " best " friend was my sister in law. I

> think

> > that may only be because we were kinda the only newbies in the

> family.

> >

> > With WLS, suddenly the whole world was open to me. I felt

> attractive

> > for the first time. Even though I still dont feel I have what a

man

> > is looking for. I still do not receive that much attention. But

I

> did

> > begin receiving some attention. It was mostly from men I met

> through

> > WLS. I did not know how to handle it. One one hand I loved

it...I

> was

> > recieving intimate attention that I was so starved for. While I

> love

> > my husband very much...he is very introverted...even with me. I

> > recently found out a little bit about his childhood that really

> > helped me to understand why. But anyway, this one man in

particular

> > began paying constant attention to me. Sending me emails several

> > times a day, IMing me, just really talking to me. It almost led

to

> an

> > affair...but he wound up hurting me very very badly emotionally

and

> > several of my friends. I was petrified. I had never been in a

> > situation where I thought I would ever stray from my marriage. I

> > guess what Im trying to say here is I was SUDDENLY really going

> thru

> > my adolescence that I never had before...being married so young

and

> > from my past experiences. Weight loss changed how I felt about

> > myself. Health problems made sex limited with my husband and I

had

> a

> > whole new body I wanted to take for a spin. Thankfully, by

finally

> > knowing what I want, I started to really talk to my husband and

> tell

> > him what I needed from him and Im glad to say things are going

very

> > well. Sex with him is getting better all the time. Yes, he still

> has

> > some physical limitations(he swears Im trying to kill him), but

> with

> > some creativity it has become better than it has EVER been. We

are

> > working on the emotional intimacy and that too is improving.

> >

> > But aside from the sexual changes....Im becoming more and more

> > outgoing. Im meeting wonderful people in this site especially

and

> for

> > the first time feel like I have true friends. This is quite

> > unsettling for Matias and some times causes some friction. I am

> > trying to get him to understand how normal it is to have friends

> and

> > that its not taking away from our relationship. I had stopped

going

> > to support group meetings due to his insecurities and reluctance

to

> > go with me. Im going to start up again at the end of this month

as

> > soon as my classes are over.

> >

> > All these changes were frightening and unsettling...but one

thing

> DR

> > Fisher told me.....WLS doesnt change who you are in the long

> > run....you will go through changes, growth, maybe maturity, but

> deep

> > down your core values,morals,etc will be there...hang on to them

> and

> > you will be ok. I let go of mine for a while and almost lost the

> most

> > important person in the world to me...ME!! I truly for a long

time

> > didnt know who I was.

> >

> > Sorry this has turned into a book and I feel I havent adequately

> made

> > any sense here..it feels like Im rambling. I hope we can keep

this

> > thread going....its so important to see the whole aspect of WLS.

> > Francisco and I talk about that alot and he knows all my

thoughts

> > LOL. I hope I dont get on his nerves LOL when I call him and

vent

> to

> > him. Francisco always tells me its a mind, body, spirit

connection

> > and change. Putting together all aspects is vital!! Gotta love

him!

> >

> > Huggles

> >

>

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