Guest guest Posted December 8, 2005 Report Share Posted December 8, 2005 This is Lilka, I am so happy about your date. But I am happier about how well you write. You and Robynn are the real writing pros here. I hope you have noticed that your honesty about sex has deepened the communication on everyone's writing. I am bowled over by the input. I, myself, was not abused or molested. Instead I came from a family that openly talked about sex and it was not a sin or a big problem. My father studied with Wilhelm Reich, The Function of the Orgasm, and my mother was a fan of the Trobriand Islanders. She believed sexual play was a natural thing for children to do. We had fun but it was never adult sexuality. At 12 I began to gain weight and my father was devastated as was my mother. They thought I would escape all that. But I suffered from feeling dumb and inadequate. I gained a little but I felt it was huge. I felt bigger then than I do now at 261. I never felt sexually desirable after I gained and disappointed my parents. I stayed a virgin until I was almost 19. In those days there was no AIDS. I had a very free life until I got married at age 30 and after that I have stayed faithful all these years. (35 yrs). That chapter will remain with me for a while. I just wonder what it will be like when I am thin. I wonder if I will ever feel sexually attractive. My husband claims he was very sexually attracted to me but I thought every man just liked me for me. Every time someone said he was attracted to me, I thought it was to my personality. it was a compliment. In those days, I was about 140 -160. My first diet was at 160. Too much. I only pray that I will be that size again some day. Thanks for listening. Lilka Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 8, 2005 Report Share Posted December 8, 2005 This is Lilka, I am so happy about your date. But I am happier about how well you write. You and Robynn are the real writing pros here. I hope you have noticed that your honesty about sex has deepened the communication on everyone's writing. I am bowled over by the input. I, myself, was not abused or molested. Instead I came from a family that openly talked about sex and it was not a sin or a big problem. My father studied with Wilhelm Reich, The Function of the Orgasm, and my mother was a fan of the Trobriand Islanders. She believed sexual play was a natural thing for children to do. We had fun but it was never adult sexuality. At 12 I began to gain weight and my father was devastated as was my mother. They thought I would escape all that. But I suffered from feeling dumb and inadequate. I gained a little but I felt it was huge. I felt bigger then than I do now at 261. I never felt sexually desirable after I gained and disappointed my parents. I stayed a virgin until I was almost 19. In those days there was no AIDS. I had a very free life until I got married at age 30 and after that I have stayed faithful all these years. (35 yrs). That chapter will remain with me for a while. I just wonder what it will be like when I am thin. I wonder if I will ever feel sexually attractive. My husband claims he was very sexually attracted to me but I thought every man just liked me for me. Every time someone said he was attracted to me, I thought it was to my personality. it was a compliment. In those days, I was about 140 -160. My first diet was at 160. Too much. I only pray that I will be that size again some day. Thanks for listening. Lilka Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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