Guest guest Posted December 8, 2005 Report Posted December 8, 2005 This is Lilka, I am so happy about your date. But I am happier about how well you write. You and Robynn are the real writing pros here. I hope you have noticed that your honesty about sex has deepened the communication on everyone's writing. I am bowled over by the input. I, myself, was not abused or molested. Instead I came from a family that openly talked about sex and it was not a sin or a big problem. My father studied with Wilhelm Reich, The Function of the Orgasm, and my mother was a fan of the Trobriand Islanders. She believed sexual play was a natural thing for children to do. We had fun but it was never adult sexuality. At 12 I began to gain weight and my father was devastated as was my mother. They thought I would escape all that. But I suffered from feeling dumb and inadequate. I gained a little but I felt it was huge. I felt bigger then than I do now at 261. I never felt sexually desirable after I gained and disappointed my parents. I stayed a virgin until I was almost 19. In those days there was no AIDS. I had a very free life until I got married at age 30 and after that I have stayed faithful all these years. (35 yrs). That chapter will remain with me for a while. I just wonder what it will be like when I am thin. I wonder if I will ever feel sexually attractive. My husband claims he was very sexually attracted to me but I thought every man just liked me for me. Every time someone said he was attracted to me, I thought it was to my personality. it was a compliment. In those days, I was about 140 -160. My first diet was at 160. Too much. I only pray that I will be that size again some day. Thanks for listening. Lilka Quote
Guest guest Posted December 8, 2005 Report Posted December 8, 2005 This is Lilka, I am so happy about your date. But I am happier about how well you write. You and Robynn are the real writing pros here. I hope you have noticed that your honesty about sex has deepened the communication on everyone's writing. I am bowled over by the input. I, myself, was not abused or molested. Instead I came from a family that openly talked about sex and it was not a sin or a big problem. My father studied with Wilhelm Reich, The Function of the Orgasm, and my mother was a fan of the Trobriand Islanders. She believed sexual play was a natural thing for children to do. We had fun but it was never adult sexuality. At 12 I began to gain weight and my father was devastated as was my mother. They thought I would escape all that. But I suffered from feeling dumb and inadequate. I gained a little but I felt it was huge. I felt bigger then than I do now at 261. I never felt sexually desirable after I gained and disappointed my parents. I stayed a virgin until I was almost 19. In those days there was no AIDS. I had a very free life until I got married at age 30 and after that I have stayed faithful all these years. (35 yrs). That chapter will remain with me for a while. I just wonder what it will be like when I am thin. I wonder if I will ever feel sexually attractive. My husband claims he was very sexually attracted to me but I thought every man just liked me for me. Every time someone said he was attracted to me, I thought it was to my personality. it was a compliment. In those days, I was about 140 -160. My first diet was at 160. Too much. I only pray that I will be that size again some day. Thanks for listening. Lilka Quote
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