Pam and and everyone--food boundaries

[Guest guest]

Pam:

I agree with what you're saying here.

I believe there is one more component at play here—boundaries around

food.

Many of us here, me included, had or have had very weak boundaries

regarding food. We ate whatever, whenever, however we could,

stuffing down copious amounts of food with no mindfulness, no

boundaries.

Now we have to decide what and how much is good for us and what is

not. At this point in my journey, I can eat just about anything I

want. Yes, I still dump on certain things, and if I'm not careful, I

can get really sick. At more that two years out, I have to make the

right choices for me. I have to decide whether or not I'm worth the

effort. This is not easy because it requires that we work the whole

program. It tests us like we've never been tested before. Sometimes

it's easy; sometimes it a moment by moment struggle.

We must realize that we are not powerless in the face of food. Food

is just food. It's not love. It's not acceptance. It's not peace.

It's not happiness. Love, acceptance, peace and happiness are found

elsewhere. If we have put food in its proper place (a source of

nutrition to keep us alive) and we have addressed the needs we have

in an appropriate non-food related manner, food ceases to have its

power.

Food has power over us because we gave it that power.

, if you " believe " you are powerless to stop the Starbucks,

then you will live out that belief. As Dr. Phil has said

(paraphrasing here), " If you believe that you don't deserve the good

outcomes in your life, you will sabotage yourself at every step of

the way. " Your beliefs become your reality. You need to face this

situation mindfully, with hard honest truth. You need to change your

inner dialogues. What are you saying to yourself as you buy that

third latte?

You need to examine why you are letting yourself have one, two, three

Starbucks a day. There is something else at play here that you need

to address.

As a wise man once said, " It's never about the food. "

Francisco

>

> da6bearz, that is one thing that a lot of us...or a

> lot of people are finding out that a lot of things

> that we were told will make us sick DOES NOT make us

> sick. I am one of those people so I stay away from

> that stuff now. I tried it...had my little fun and

> because I don't get sick, I leave it alone.

>

> My best piece of advice I could ever give to anyone

> here is to not even try it. The longer you avoid it

> the better off you are. Once you know something won't

> make you sick, you are more than likely to continue

> eating that stuff which WILL eventually cause weight

> gain and ultimately cause you to fail yourself.

>

> Take care.

>

[Guest guest]

Pam:

I agree with what you're saying here.

I believe there is one more component at play here—boundaries around

food.

Many of us here, me included, had or have had very weak boundaries

regarding food. We ate whatever, whenever, however we could,

stuffing down copious amounts of food with no mindfulness, no

boundaries.

Now we have to decide what and how much is good for us and what is

not. At this point in my journey, I can eat just about anything I

want. Yes, I still dump on certain things, and if I'm not careful, I

can get really sick. At more that two years out, I have to make the

right choices for me. I have to decide whether or not I'm worth the

effort. This is not easy because it requires that we work the whole

program. It tests us like we've never been tested before. Sometimes

it's easy; sometimes it a moment by moment struggle.

We must realize that we are not powerless in the face of food. Food

is just food. It's not love. It's not acceptance. It's not peace.

It's not happiness. Love, acceptance, peace and happiness are found

elsewhere. If we have put food in its proper place (a source of

nutrition to keep us alive) and we have addressed the needs we have

in an appropriate non-food related manner, food ceases to have its

power.

Food has power over us because we gave it that power.

, if you " believe " you are powerless to stop the Starbucks,

then you will live out that belief. As Dr. Phil has said

(paraphrasing here), " If you believe that you don't deserve the good

outcomes in your life, you will sabotage yourself at every step of

the way. " Your beliefs become your reality. You need to face this

situation mindfully, with hard honest truth. You need to change your

inner dialogues. What are you saying to yourself as you buy that

third latte?

You need to examine why you are letting yourself have one, two, three

Starbucks a day. There is something else at play here that you need

to address.

As a wise man once said, " It's never about the food. "

Francisco

>

> da6bearz, that is one thing that a lot of us...or a

> lot of people are finding out that a lot of things

> that we were told will make us sick DOES NOT make us

> sick. I am one of those people so I stay away from

> that stuff now. I tried it...had my little fun and

> because I don't get sick, I leave it alone.

>

> My best piece of advice I could ever give to anyone

> here is to not even try it. The longer you avoid it

> the better off you are. Once you know something won't

> make you sick, you are more than likely to continue

> eating that stuff which WILL eventually cause weight

> gain and ultimately cause you to fail yourself.

>

> Take care.

>

[Guest guest]

Francisco, I hear what you are saying and I totally

agree with you and what you are saying. By the way

love Dr. Phil (smile). That is why I took the route of

leaving those things alone. I had to ask myself. Why

did you go through this procedure (with great results

thus far) to destroy this. I remember tell someone in

a support group meeting that I would no take this

thing for granted and that I would do what I know I

need to do to make this journey a successful one. I

said that because I ended up getting her date because

my surgery got pushed back a week because they need

the emergency room to someone else. I felt bad

because in some way I felt like I had taken her new

beginning away from her. Nonetheless, I said it also

because my weight problems started post having babies.

I struggled for 14 years to lose the weight and I am

just determined to stay this way no matter what. So

when there are goodies and those no no foods, I say to

myself " Pam you have got to make better choices " and I

tell myself " these are the foods that put you at 250

and aided you to stay that way for 14 years " . Then,

it becomes so easy for me to walk away from it. I

have to self talk to myself. Along with that, I

continually (but not out loud) tell myself " look at

you girl, you are a beautiful woman. Fine as all get

out. You don't want to rob yourself of this do you? "

and the answer is always a NO.

But like you said we have to be honest and deal with

the real issues no matter how painful they may be. At

some point we do heal from stuff and we become

strengthened and their is a calmness after the storm.

I just keep saying this too will pass and I know it is

only by the grace of God that I was able to nibble on

the junk/food during this period and it not show up on

the scale. I thank Him for his mercy and grace

because I know that surely He has kept me. So it all

goes back to that self dialog... " I will not take this

thing for granted " because I can't afford to. On this

journey, I have lost the silent killers (diabetes,

high cholesterol, high blood pressure, acid reflux)

and I don't need them to visit me any time soon.

, I am not saying any of this to hurt you or to

say that you are taking this tool for granted. That

was just for myself because I can only truly speak

for myself. I am praying that you find a solution

(using the tools from that binder and continued

support here or wherever) to get you back to where you

were and then beyond that. You know this

already...that this is a lifestyle and with lifestyle

comes change. Change is hard but not all change is

bad.

I am sure and have every confidence in you that you

are going to do what needs to be done to get through

this. More importantly do your part and pray about it

and honey, let me tell you, God will surely bring up

the rear and give you the strength to do what you need

to do. Just try Him but more importantly, TRUST Him.

I believe our pastor said best when he said flesh does

not move God but Faith does. Its your way of letting

God know that you are ready and expecting a miracle or

Him to move on your behalf. Then receive it. You are

worth it . Hugs to you.

Francisco, sorry this got so long and I apologize to

anyone who might be offended by my language

referencing God but that is what keeps me. That is

truly without a shadow of a doubt my strength.

Pam Marsh - 105 pounds (10 months post op)

10 more to get to goal (I will make it)

--- manisodream wrote:

> Pam:

>

> I agree with what you're saying here.

>

> I believe there is one more component at play

> here—boundaries around

> food.

>

> Many of us here, me included, had or have had very

> weak boundaries

> regarding food. We ate whatever, whenever, however

> we could,

> stuffing down copious amounts of food with no

> mindfulness, no

> boundaries.

>

> Now we have to decide what and how much is good for

> us and what is

> not. At this point in my journey, I can eat just

> about anything I

> want. Yes, I still dump on certain things, and if

> I'm not careful, I

> can get really sick. At more that two years out, I

> have to make the

> right choices for me. I have to decide whether or

> not I'm worth the

> effort. This is not easy because it requires that

> we work the whole

> program. It tests us like we've never been tested

> before. Sometimes

> it's easy; sometimes it a moment by moment struggle.

>

> We must realize that we are not powerless in the

> face of food. Food

> is just food. It's not love. It's not acceptance.

> It's not peace.

> It's not happiness. Love, acceptance, peace and

> happiness are found

> elsewhere. If we have put food in its proper place

> (a source of

> nutrition to keep us alive) and we have addressed

> the needs we have

> in an appropriate non-food related manner, food

> ceases to have its

> power.

>

> Food has power over us because we gave it that

> power.

>

> , if you " believe " you are powerless to stop

> the Starbucks,

> then you will live out that belief. As Dr. Phil has

> said

> (paraphrasing here), " If you believe that you don't

> deserve the good

> outcomes in your life, you will sabotage yourself at

> every step of

> the way. " Your beliefs become your reality. You

> need to face this

> situation mindfully, with hard honest truth. You

> need to change your

> inner dialogues. What are you saying to yourself as

> you buy that

> third latte?

>

> You need to examine why you are letting yourself

> have one, two, three

> Starbucks a day. There is something else at play

> here that you need

> to address.

>

> As a wise man once said, " It's never about the

> food. "

>

> Francisco

>

>

>

> >

> > da6bearz, that is one thing that a lot of us...or

> a

> > lot of people are finding out that a lot of things

> > that we were told will make us sick DOES NOT make

> us

> > sick. I am one of those people so I stay away

> from

> > that stuff now. I tried it...had my little fun

> and

> > because I don't get sick, I leave it alone.

> >

> > My best piece of advice I could ever give to

> anyone

> > here is to not even try it. The longer you avoid

> it

> > the better off you are. Once you know something

> won't

> > make you sick, you are more than likely to

> continue

> > eating that stuff which WILL eventually cause

> weight

> > gain and ultimately cause you to fail yourself.

> >

> > Take care.

> >

>

>

>

>

>

__________________________________________

Yahoo! DSL – Something to write home about.

Just $16.99/mo. or less.

dsl.yahoo.com

[Guest guest]

Francisco, I hear what you are saying and I totally

agree with you and what you are saying. By the way

love Dr. Phil (smile). That is why I took the route of

leaving those things alone. I had to ask myself. Why

did you go through this procedure (with great results

thus far) to destroy this. I remember tell someone in

a support group meeting that I would no take this

thing for granted and that I would do what I know I

need to do to make this journey a successful one. I

said that because I ended up getting her date because

my surgery got pushed back a week because they need

the emergency room to someone else. I felt bad

because in some way I felt like I had taken her new

beginning away from her. Nonetheless, I said it also

because my weight problems started post having babies.

I struggled for 14 years to lose the weight and I am

just determined to stay this way no matter what. So

when there are goodies and those no no foods, I say to

myself " Pam you have got to make better choices " and I

tell myself " these are the foods that put you at 250

and aided you to stay that way for 14 years " . Then,

it becomes so easy for me to walk away from it. I

have to self talk to myself. Along with that, I

continually (but not out loud) tell myself " look at

you girl, you are a beautiful woman. Fine as all get

out. You don't want to rob yourself of this do you? "

and the answer is always a NO.

But like you said we have to be honest and deal with

the real issues no matter how painful they may be. At

some point we do heal from stuff and we become

strengthened and their is a calmness after the storm.

I just keep saying this too will pass and I know it is

only by the grace of God that I was able to nibble on

the junk/food during this period and it not show up on

the scale. I thank Him for his mercy and grace

because I know that surely He has kept me. So it all

goes back to that self dialog... " I will not take this

thing for granted " because I can't afford to. On this

journey, I have lost the silent killers (diabetes,

high cholesterol, high blood pressure, acid reflux)

and I don't need them to visit me any time soon.

, I am not saying any of this to hurt you or to

say that you are taking this tool for granted. That

was just for myself because I can only truly speak

for myself. I am praying that you find a solution

(using the tools from that binder and continued

support here or wherever) to get you back to where you

were and then beyond that. You know this

already...that this is a lifestyle and with lifestyle

comes change. Change is hard but not all change is

bad.

I am sure and have every confidence in you that you

are going to do what needs to be done to get through

this. More importantly do your part and pray about it

and honey, let me tell you, God will surely bring up

the rear and give you the strength to do what you need

to do. Just try Him but more importantly, TRUST Him.

I believe our pastor said best when he said flesh does

not move God but Faith does. Its your way of letting

God know that you are ready and expecting a miracle or

Him to move on your behalf. Then receive it. You are

worth it . Hugs to you.

Francisco, sorry this got so long and I apologize to

anyone who might be offended by my language

referencing God but that is what keeps me. That is

truly without a shadow of a doubt my strength.

Pam Marsh - 105 pounds (10 months post op)

10 more to get to goal (I will make it)

--- manisodream wrote:

> Pam:

>

> I agree with what you're saying here.

>

> I believe there is one more component at play

> here—boundaries around

> food.

>

> Many of us here, me included, had or have had very

> weak boundaries

> regarding food. We ate whatever, whenever, however

> we could,

> stuffing down copious amounts of food with no

> mindfulness, no

> boundaries.

>

> Now we have to decide what and how much is good for

> us and what is

> not. At this point in my journey, I can eat just

> about anything I

> want. Yes, I still dump on certain things, and if

> I'm not careful, I

> can get really sick. At more that two years out, I

> have to make the

> right choices for me. I have to decide whether or

> not I'm worth the

> effort. This is not easy because it requires that

> we work the whole

> program. It tests us like we've never been tested

> before. Sometimes

> it's easy; sometimes it a moment by moment struggle.

>

> We must realize that we are not powerless in the

> face of food. Food

> is just food. It's not love. It's not acceptance.

> It's not peace.

> It's not happiness. Love, acceptance, peace and

> happiness are found

> elsewhere. If we have put food in its proper place

> (a source of

> nutrition to keep us alive) and we have addressed

> the needs we have

> in an appropriate non-food related manner, food

> ceases to have its

> power.

>

> Food has power over us because we gave it that

> power.

>

> , if you " believe " you are powerless to stop

> the Starbucks,

> then you will live out that belief. As Dr. Phil has

> said

> (paraphrasing here), " If you believe that you don't

> deserve the good

> outcomes in your life, you will sabotage yourself at

> every step of

> the way. " Your beliefs become your reality. You

> need to face this

> situation mindfully, with hard honest truth. You

> need to change your

> inner dialogues. What are you saying to yourself as

> you buy that

> third latte?

>

> You need to examine why you are letting yourself

> have one, two, three

> Starbucks a day. There is something else at play

> here that you need

> to address.

>

> As a wise man once said, " It's never about the

> food. "

>

> Francisco

>

>

>

> >

> > da6bearz, that is one thing that a lot of us...or

> a

> > lot of people are finding out that a lot of things

> > that we were told will make us sick DOES NOT make

> us

> > sick. I am one of those people so I stay away

> from

> > that stuff now. I tried it...had my little fun

> and

> > because I don't get sick, I leave it alone.

> >

> > My best piece of advice I could ever give to

> anyone

> > here is to not even try it. The longer you avoid

> it

> > the better off you are. Once you know something

> won't

> > make you sick, you are more than likely to

> continue

> > eating that stuff which WILL eventually cause

> weight

> > gain and ultimately cause you to fail yourself.

> >

> > Take care.

> >

>

>

>

>

>

__________________________________________

Yahoo! DSL – Something to write home about.

Just $16.99/mo. or less.

dsl.yahoo.com

[Guest guest]

Pam:

One word to what you're saying: AMEN! (smile)

We all need to learn to self-talk the way you do. It's not easy but

gets easier with practice.

Francisco

> > >

> > > da6bearz, that is one thing that a lot of us...or

> > a

> > > lot of people are finding out that a lot of things

> > > that we were told will make us sick DOES NOT make

> > us

> > > sick. I am one of those people so I stay away

> > from

> > > that stuff now. I tried it...had my little fun

> > and

> > > because I don't get sick, I leave it alone.

> > >

> > > My best piece of advice I could ever give to

> > anyone

> > > here is to not even try it. The longer you avoid

> > it

> > > the better off you are. Once you know something

> > won't

> > > make you sick, you are more than likely to

> > continue

> > > eating that stuff which WILL eventually cause

> > weight

> > > gain and ultimately cause you to fail yourself.

> > >

> > > Take care.

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

>

> __________________________________________

> Yahoo! DSL – Something to write home about.

> Just $16.99/mo. or less.

> dsl.yahoo.com

>

[Guest guest]

Pam:

One word to what you're saying: AMEN! (smile)

We all need to learn to self-talk the way you do. It's not easy but

gets easier with practice.

Francisco

> > >

> > > da6bearz, that is one thing that a lot of us...or

> > a

> > > lot of people are finding out that a lot of things

> > > that we were told will make us sick DOES NOT make

> > us

> > > sick. I am one of those people so I stay away

> > from

> > > that stuff now. I tried it...had my little fun

> > and

> > > because I don't get sick, I leave it alone.

> > >

> > > My best piece of advice I could ever give to

> > anyone

> > > here is to not even try it. The longer you avoid

> > it

> > > the better off you are. Once you know something

> > won't

> > > make you sick, you are more than likely to

> > continue

> > > eating that stuff which WILL eventually cause

> > weight

> > > gain and ultimately cause you to fail yourself.

> > >

> > > Take care.

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

>

> __________________________________________

> Yahoo! DSL – Something to write home about.

> Just $16.99/mo. or less.

> dsl.yahoo.com

>

[Guest guest]

Im practicing, Im practicing LOL

> > > >

> > > > da6bearz, that is one thing that a lot of us...or

> > > a

> > > > lot of people are finding out that a lot of things

> > > > that we were told will make us sick DOES NOT make

> > > us

> > > > sick. I am one of those people so I stay away

> > > from

> > > > that stuff now. I tried it...had my little fun

> > > and

> > > > because I don't get sick, I leave it alone.

> > > >

> > > > My best piece of advice I could ever give to

> > > anyone

> > > > here is to not even try it. The longer you avoid

> > > it

> > > > the better off you are. Once you know something

> > > won't

> > > > make you sick, you are more than likely to

> > > continue

> > > > eating that stuff which WILL eventually cause

> > > weight

> > > > gain and ultimately cause you to fail yourself.

> > > >

> > > > Take care.

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > __________________________________________

> > Yahoo! DSL – Something to write home about.

> > Just $16.99/mo. or less.

> > dsl.yahoo.com

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Im practicing, Im practicing LOL

> > > >

> > > > da6bearz, that is one thing that a lot of us...or

> > > a

> > > > lot of people are finding out that a lot of things

> > > > that we were told will make us sick DOES NOT make

> > > us

> > > > sick. I am one of those people so I stay away

> > > from

> > > > that stuff now. I tried it...had my little fun

> > > and

> > > > because I don't get sick, I leave it alone.

> > > >

> > > > My best piece of advice I could ever give to

> > > anyone

> > > > here is to not even try it. The longer you avoid

> > > it

> > > > the better off you are. Once you know something

> > > won't

> > > > make you sick, you are more than likely to

> > > continue

> > > > eating that stuff which WILL eventually cause

> > > weight

> > > > gain and ultimately cause you to fail yourself.

> > > >

> > > > Take care.

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > __________________________________________

> > Yahoo! DSL – Something to write home about.

> > Just $16.99/mo. or less.

> > dsl.yahoo.com

> >

>