Re: adapting one thing a day

[Guest guest]

This is wonderful advice. It is something I try to do but I cannotunderstand for the life of me, why I cannot stop. It is almost like anobsession....

Terri,

I totally understand. I was into upper management at my jobs, so multi-tasking, time management was essential.

Part of the willingness to "give up" doing it all in a day, that "man, I know I can just squeek this in" is that when I do that (and I still do ocassionally) I pay for it with increased pain, fatigue, moodiness and I get so worn down, I don't make sense-- so I know that is trade-off.

I have lived with chronic pain for 25 yrs now, and sarcoidosis for the last 17. So I've had years to figure out what works and what doesn't.

As long as we are still trying to convince ourself that we've not lost that person we "were"-- we still keep beating ourself up. It got to painful for me-- so I had to surrender.

We all will come to a place of acceptance, and what we can't do-- is to punish ourself when that "day off" is needed. It just keeps you stuck, and that is actually a tremendous amount of our physical pain.

Take care,

Tracie

NS Co-owner/moderator

See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

[Guest guest]

Tracie,

I always lived on stress - I was always at my best at stressful

situations. Now I guess I try to relive that feeling now that I am not

able to work. (a little self insight I guess). I just wish that I did

not require so much sleep right now. I feel like I am sleeping my life

away.

Terri G

Part of the willingness to " give up " doing it all in a day, that " man,

I

> know I can just squeek this in " is that when I do that (and I still do

> ocassionally) I pay for it with increased pain, fatigue, moodiness and

I get so worn

> down, I don't make sense-- so I know that is trade-off.

> I have lived with chronic pain for 25 yrs now, and sarcoidosis for the

last

> 17. So I've had years to figure out what works and what doesn't.

> As long as we are still trying to convince ourself that we've not lost

that

> person we " were " -- we still keep beating ourself up. It got to painful

for

> me-- so I had to surrender.

> We all will come to a place of acceptance, and what we can't do-- is

to

> punish ourself when that " day off " is needed. It just keeps you stuck,

and that

> is actually a tremendous amount of our physical pain.

>

> Take care,

> Tracie

> NS Co-owner/moderator

>

>

>

>

> ************************************** See what's new at

http://www.aol.com

>

[Guest guest]

I always lived on stress - I was always at my best at stressfulsituations. Now I guess I try to relive that feeling now that I am notable to work. (a little self insight I guess). I just wish that I didnot require so much sleep right now. I feel like I am sleeping my lifeaway.

Terri,

I know-- stress is the root part of the stressed== or isn't that supposed to be desserts backwards-- oh well, you know what my sarc brain is leading too...

So-- insight is good. Now what to do with it-- LOL!

I think we all need to feel that we are still useful. We need something to do, that makes us feel like we are still contributing members of our family life, work, etc. WE are after all, the generation that really opened the doors to women working outside the home, even with small kids at home. We are the generation that require a 2 income family to purchase our homes.

Last year, I was sitting with some older women that were stating that they don't see any young families driving old vehicles, wearing out their clothes -- we need "new clothes, shoes, cellphones, cars, and if it weren't for the "greed" of our generation- we wouldn't be living at the "over-the top" of our income.

I had to laugh- and I wanted to strangle this lady. She was able to be a stay at home mom, married 3x men with excellent union incomes, and she scored homes, etc.

I explained that since home prices have soared by all those blessed enough to buy and sell properties, each time inflating the prices higher and higher, that what they got for 10=12% annual income-- we now pay 40-50% of our annual income for that same piece of property. Interest isn't 1.5% -- it's 7%.

I also explained that since most of these women were working full-time, paying $300+ a week just for childcare (1 kid) and their jobs required they dress professionally, and they had to have reliable transportation to get to and from work (which is where the health coverage comes from) and yes, they eat out often-- from the $1.00 menu at MickyD's. Or they pay the $4.00 on the regular menu-- and all the coordination of schoolwork, kids sports, clothes, etc-- that they do live at 100% of income.

That is the reality of the working family. She was adamnant that she would have been taking her lunch to work, making the sandwiches for the kids-- etc-- yet she had the wonderful experinence of not having to juggle to meet todays lifestyles. She had no clue-- and still doesn't.

Wow, did I get off track..

Anyhow, what I wanted to say is that I do know how hard it is to give ourself the permission to slow down. Going back to the simpler ways of (some) of our parents is not a bad thing. It does mean that the cars have 225,000 and 165,000 miles on them. True, they are only 12 and 7 yrs old-- and look good - they've been in that garage and taken care of- but it means that we won't be driving new vehicles again. It means that our "retirement" is now- and I don't see a cruise in site.

However, I will take a day in the apple orchard, messing with the deer- and watching the rabbits and ravens and hawks soar. It isn't Paradise, but at least it's only 8 miles above the Town of Paradise (for real!!!) and it's ok. Not perfect, but ok. So- listen to your body- and pace yourself.

Climbing down off my soapbox,

Tracie

NS Co-owner/moderatorSee what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

[Guest guest]

Tracie,

I appreciate the response. I too, did not realize that this would be my

retirement. It started at the age of get this - 41! I realized that I

was in real trouble when my boss told me that I shouldn't try to

multi-task because I wasn't a multi tasker and at the end of the day, I

started stuttering. I only stopped stuttering when I didn't work

anymore. My brain just couldn't take the influx of information. By the

time I stopped working, I couldn't be there 3 hours without being

totally exhausted and Iwasn't able to speak. Oh yeah - I was also

falling asleep at my desk. Oh well.

Like you said, I try to enjoy the nature in my back yard, my dogs and

the fact that my husband makes a good enough income that I don't have to

stress about where the money is coming from to pay the bills. My cares

are 11 and 12 years old, my sofa - which looks great - was a $40.00 buy

at a yard sale and the last TV I bought was 50.00 at a yard sale also.

I cut coupons and love getting a good buy. A great day is when I have

the energy to do my mosaics/stained glass.

Thanks for everything; I really appreciate everything you do for me and

everyone else on this site.

Terri G.

>

>

> In a message dated 9/25/2007 6:29:04 P.M. Pacific Daylight Time,

> mosaicgirl1@... writes:

>

> I always lived on stress - I was always at my best at stressful

> situations. Now I guess I try to relive that feeling now that I am not

> able to work. (a little self insight I guess). I just wish that I did

> not require so much sleep right now. I feel like I am sleeping my life

> away.

>

>

>

> Terri,

> I know-- stress is the root part of the stressed== or isn't that

supposed to

> be desserts backwards-- oh well, you know what my sarc brain is

leading

> too...

> So-- insight is good. Now what to do with it-- LOL!

> I think we all need to feel that we are still useful. We need

something to

> do, that makes us feel like we are still contributing members of our

family

> life, work, etc. WE are after all, the generation that really opened

the

> doors to women working outside the home, even with small kids at home.

We are

> the generation that require a 2 income family to purchase our homes.

> Last year, I was sitting with some older women that were stating that

they

> don't see any young families driving old vehicles, wearing out their

clothes

> -- we need " new clothes, shoes, cellphones, cars, and if it weren't

for the

> " greed " of our generation- we wouldn't be living at the " over-the top "

of our

> income.

> I had to laugh- and I wanted to strangle this lady. She was able to be

a

> stay at home mom, married 3x men with excellent union incomes, and she

scored

> homes, etc.

> I explained that since home prices have soared by all those blessed

enough

> to buy and sell properties, each time inflating the prices higher and

higher,

> that what they got for 10=12% annual income-- we now pay 40-50% of our

annual

> income for that same piece of property. Interest isn't 1.5% -- it's

7%.

> I also explained that since most of these women were working

full-time,

> paying $300+ a week just for childcare (1 kid) and their jobs required

they dress

> professionally, and they had to have reliable transportation to get to

and

> from work (which is where the health coverage comes from) and yes,

they eat

> out often-- from the $1.00 menu at MickyD's. Or they pay the $4.00 on

the

> regular menu-- and all the coordination of schoolwork, kids sports,

clothes,

> etc-- that they do live at 100% of income.

> That is the reality of the working family. She was adamnant that she

would

> have been taking her lunch to work, making the sandwiches for the

kids--

> etc-- yet she had the wonderful experinence of not having to juggle to

meet

> todays lifestyles. She had no clue-- and still doesn't.

> Wow, did I get off track..

>

> Anyhow, what I wanted to say is that I do know how hard it is to give

> ourself the permission to slow down. Going back to the simpler ways of

(some) of

> our parents is not a bad thing. It does mean that the cars have

225,000 and

> 165,000 miles on them. True, they are only 12 and 7 yrs old-- and look

good -

> they've been in that garage and taken care of- but it means that we

won't be

> driving new vehicles again. It means that our " retirement " is now- and

I

> don't see a cruise in site.

>

> However, I will take a day in the apple orchard, messing with the

deer- and

> watching the rabbits and ravens and hawks soar. It isn't Paradise, but

at

> least it's only 8 miles above the Town of Paradise (for real!!!) and

it's ok.

> Not perfect, but ok. So- listen to your body- and pace yourself.

>

> Climbing down off my soapbox,

> Tracie

> NS Co-owner/moderator

>

>

>

> ************************************** See what's new at

http://www.aol.com

>

[Guest guest]

Tracie & Terri, I know this is an older post, but I am still going thru them. I used to have an upper management job too which involved a lot of multi-tasking and not enough hours in the work day. Even though it was time consuming, I enjoyed all the challenges involved. (I have a type A personality too.) Tracie, I know you heard this story before, but once I became sick and had to leave my job, it was very upsetting to me. I became very depressed and even when I think aboout it now (its been 5 1/2 years), I still feel very sad. I know there is no way I could handle that positioin because of physical restraints. I don't think that I have completely subconciously accepted it. I know, as you stated Tracie, that I am a different person now, its just so hard to give up that feeling of acceptness. It will take time , I guess. Thanks for the post of

understanding. Hugs, Debbie T. Co-Moderatortiodaat@... wrote: This is wonderful advice. It is something I try to do but I cannotunderstand for the life of me, why I cannot stop. It is almost like anobsession.... Terri, I totally understand. I was into upper management at my jobs, so multi-tasking, time management was

essential. Part of the willingness to "give up" doing it all in a day, that "man, I know I can just squeek this in" is that when I do that (and I still do ocassionally) I pay for it with increased pain, fatigue, moodiness and I get so worn down, I don't make sense-- so I know that is trade-off. I have lived with chronic pain for 25 yrs now, and sarcoidosis for the last 17. So I've had years to figure out what works and what doesn't. As long as we are still trying to convince ourself that we've not lost that person we "were"-- we still keep beating ourself up. It got to painful for me-- so I had to surrender. We all will come to a place of acceptance, and what we can't do-- is to punish ourself when that "day off" is needed. It just keeps you stuck, and that is actually a tremendous amount of our physical pain. Take care, Tracie NS Co-owner/moderator See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage. Debbie T.Co-Moderator

Be a better Heartthrob. Get better relationship answers from someone who knows.Yahoo! Answers - Check it out.

[Guest guest]

Tracie & Terri, I know this is an older post, but I am still going thru them. I used to have an upper management job too which involved a lot of multi-tasking and not enough hours in the work day. Even though it was time consuming, I enjoyed all the challenges involved. (I have a type A personality too.) Tracie, I know you heard this story before, but once I became sick and had to leave my job, it was very upsetting to me. I became very depressed and even when I think aboout it now (its been 5 1/2 years), I still feel very sad. I know there is no way I could handle that positioin because of physical restraints. I don't think that I have completely subconciously accepted it. I know, as you stated Tracie, that I am a different person now, its just so hard to give up that feeling of acceptness. It will take time , I guess. Thanks for the post of

understanding. Hugs, Debbie T. Co-Moderatortiodaat@... wrote: This is wonderful advice. It is something I try to do but I cannotunderstand for the life of me, why I cannot stop. It is almost like anobsession.... Terri, I totally understand. I was into upper management at my jobs, so multi-tasking, time management was

essential. Part of the willingness to "give up" doing it all in a day, that "man, I know I can just squeek this in" is that when I do that (and I still do ocassionally) I pay for it with increased pain, fatigue, moodiness and I get so worn down, I don't make sense-- so I know that is trade-off. I have lived with chronic pain for 25 yrs now, and sarcoidosis for the last 17. So I've had years to figure out what works and what doesn't. As long as we are still trying to convince ourself that we've not lost that person we "were"-- we still keep beating ourself up. It got to painful for me-- so I had to surrender. We all will come to a place of acceptance, and what we can't do-- is to punish ourself when that "day off" is needed. It just keeps you stuck, and that is actually a tremendous amount of our physical pain. Take care, Tracie NS Co-owner/moderator See what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage. Debbie T.Co-Moderator

Be a better Heartthrob. Get better relationship answers from someone who knows.Yahoo! Answers - Check it out.