Re: dumping my thoughts, hoping for help...

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 08/14/2001 6:17:42 PM Central Daylight Time,

hbstandard@... writes:

> And lastly, I am wondering... right now, pre-op, I have *terrible* sugar and

> other carb cravings and can't resist eating them even though I know I

> shouldn't.

> So why will that be any different after the surgery?

I am a sugar/carb person. Do I still love them after surgery? Yes, I do and

I enjoy them. I be sure to eat my protein and then I eat what I want. Most

sweets that I ( and probably you) crave are also loaded with fat. We are

bypassed for fats, so the sweets are not all that destructive. If I didn't

eat sweets would I lose (or have lost) more weight? Most likely! Even

though medically I am still overweight, no one who sees me would consider me

in the least bit fat! I wear a size ten and even some 8's in pants. Usually

a size 12 in tops. I am happy at the size I am AND I get to eat sweets when

I want.

Dawn

Dr. Hess, Bowling Green, OH

BPD/DS

4/27/00

www.duodenalswitch.com

267 to 165

size 22 to size 10

have made size goal

no more high blood pressure, sore feet, or dieting!

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

IMHO you aren't ready for this surgery. Try some of the diet meds if your doctor

will supervise you. Try Craig, etc. Use wls as a last resort. After you

get your finances and job situation stabilized. And you may want to consider an

RNY due to the sugar problem.Maybe some counseling would be helpful.

In a message dated Tue, 14 Aug 2001 7:16:47 PM Eastern Daylight Time, "

B. Standard " writes:

> Hi everyone,

>

> I have not gotten very many posts the past two days from this list, so I just

> went to the website and found out I have been bouncing e-mails and my account

> was deactivated. If I didn't respond to someone I most likely didn't get your

> post. Anyway, I am about to burst with thoughts/feelings/questions about the

> possibility of having the DS. . .

>

> I have been doing some serious soul searching in regards to this surgery and

> really need to spill my guts and get some feedback. I apologize for the

> length, but do hope a few of you actually make it through this and reply to

me.

>

> The closer that I get to the possibility of surgery the more scared I get.

And

> all I've done so far is talk to my PCP about it and decide on a surgeon I'd

like

> to possibly make a consultation appointment with! The thought of complications

> during and after the procedure scares me to death, so I haven't made a consult

> appt. yet. I'm also afraid I'll have to be off from work for more days than I

> have for sick leave. I don't know how to handle that. I know some of you

have

> suggested that I look into disability, so I did, but learned that I don't have

> short-term coverage. I can't afford to take leave without pay. Also, I work

> for a church and we are terribly understaffed, and just last week my senior

> co-worker put in her two week notice. So there is no way I can take a full

> month any time this year. But maybe by next year the new person will be

broken

> in well enough for me to be off for a while. But how would I live without my

> paychecks?! Would my job even hold my job for me for a month? Or let me take

> leave without pay? Questions, questions.

>

> Also, I have been scared to talk about it with my friends and family for fear

of

> their reaction, but part of me has been bursting at the seams to talk about it

> with someone. So finally today I told a co-worker and my mom. The co-worker

> was very supportive. My mom was understandably a bit more scared about the

> prospect, but she did say she would support me if I decide to have the

surgery.

> I told her how much I currently weigh and she was shocked to know it was that

> high, but she is scared for me to have " major surgery. "

>

> I'm also wrestling with whether I truly need to have this surgery. I'm

feeling

> a lot of guilt about my relationship with food... am thinking

> thoughts like " I am a fat lazy cow, it's all my fault that I'm so big, b/c I

> never exercise and I overeat, etc. " I could really use some help to

> sort this out. So here's the deal...

>

> I have a BMI of 40 (a few short weeks ago it was a 38 or 39 and now I am

already

> up to 40 - gaining weight like there is no tomorrow), and that is

> right on the border of qualifying for the surgery, and I'm still fairly young

-

> 32 years old. But I have insulin resistance (aka " borderline

> diabetes " ), hypothyroidism, chronic back pain, chronic fatigue, PCOS &

> infertility, GERD, depression, water retention, shortness of breath, am

waiting

> for the test results to see if I have sleep apnea (we know for sure that I

> snore), and I feel like %$#@* & !! all the time - does that count as a

> co-morbidity?! LOL. But seriously, I truly do feel horrible all the time.

It

> gets old.

>

> It looks like a " no-brainer " when I list all the co-morbids, but that voice

> keeps saying to me " It's your fault, you eat too much, you shouldn't have to

> resort to surgery, if you had more will power you wouldn't be this fat, you

> could go on a diet and exercise and you'd loose weight the 'regular' way. " And

> then I wonder, " couldn't I just 'buckle up' and do the 'diet thing' again? Do

I

> really have to resort to permanently changing my digestive system and putting

> myself at risk for complications? " The thing is if I don't do something I

can

> totally see myself just continuing to gain weight and eventually have a much,

> much higher BMI with a lot more health problems, and so far I haven't been

> successful with dieting and exercise.

>

> And lastly, I am wondering... right now, pre-op, I have *terrible* sugar and

> other carb cravings and can't resist eating them even though I know I

shouldn't.

> So why will that be any different after the surgery? I mean, what if I get

the

> surgery and continue to scarf down sugar? Will it do any good? Or will I

still

> be in the same boat? How do I know that my only problem isn't that I have a

> huge eating disorder and no matter what I do to my guts I will still want to

> pack away sugar laden food?

>

> I am just in plain old torment over this. Please help me sort this out. I'm

> hearing so many thoughts in my head I can't keep them straight! It's

> like there is a committee in there having a conference. Thank you for reading

> if you got this far.

>

>

>

>

>

> ----------------------------------------------------------------------

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 08/14/2001 6:59:34 PM Central Daylight Time,

hbstandard@... writes:

> Dawn,

>

> Thanks for your thoughts. It's good to hear that I could possibly eat

> sugar/carbs in moderation post surgery. I would love to see some of your

> before

> & after pictures! Do you have any to share? I can't even imagine fitting

> into

> a size 8, 10, or 12! I would feel scrawny! Does it shock you to look in

> the

> mirror?

>

>

>

I guess getting pictures into the duodenalswitch site is on the list with

getting the boxes of pictures I have here of my kids into albums!!!!! Maybe

when I retire in 16 more years!! LOL I have to say that being a size 10

(mostly) is great! This is especially true considering that I DO NOT HAVE

TO DIET!!! It IS going to last longer than 2.5 minutes!!!! YIPPPEEE Can

you tell I am very happy I did this!! I waged a battle with the bulge and I

WON!!!

Dawn

Dr. Hess, Bowling Green, OH

BPD/DS

4/27/00

www.duodenalswitch.com

267 to 165

size 22 to size 10

have made size goal

no more high blood pressure, sore feet, or dieting!

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 08/14/2001 6:59:34 PM Central Daylight Time,

hbstandard@... writes:

> Dawn,

>

> Thanks for your thoughts. It's good to hear that I could possibly eat

> sugar/carbs in moderation post surgery. I would love to see some of your

> before

> & after pictures! Do you have any to share? I can't even imagine fitting

> into

> a size 8, 10, or 12! I would feel scrawny! Does it shock you to look in

> the

> mirror?

>

>

>

I guess getting pictures into the duodenalswitch site is on the list with

getting the boxes of pictures I have here of my kids into albums!!!!! Maybe

when I retire in 16 more years!! LOL I have to say that being a size 10

(mostly) is great! This is especially true considering that I DO NOT HAVE

TO DIET!!! It IS going to last longer than 2.5 minutes!!!! YIPPPEEE Can

you tell I am very happy I did this!! I waged a battle with the bulge and I

WON!!!

Dawn

Dr. Hess, Bowling Green, OH

BPD/DS

4/27/00

www.duodenalswitch.com

267 to 165

size 22 to size 10

have made size goal

no more high blood pressure, sore feet, or dieting!

[Guest guest]

...

I think the feelings you are having are very normal..but I also think you're

letting your fear take over and give you lots of reasons not to persue the

surgery. Obviously you are the only one that can make that choice. Some of the

things I was thinking while reading your letter include...which is more

important...going to work or saving your life? I know your BMI isn't that high,

but with all the pain you're in...aren't you worth the effort? Talk to your

boss and just say you may have to have some surgery sometime in the near

future...how will that work? I had open DS and traveled to Spain. I am today

exactly 3 weeks post op...I also am very large...390 now but I was 415. I worked

part time last week and today am back at work full time. This will vary person

to person but I just wanted to let you know that not all of us get to stay home

and recover. I only had 2 weeks available and as a single parent I couldnt

afford to miss any pay either. I think your job will cover!

you...I'm not sure of the laws in your state...but talk to someone. Set up

your consult...you can always change your mind...but many drs are scheduled way

out so why wait 3 months then decide you're going to take the next step and have

to wait anohter 6 months. Your fears are normal...I guess my point is don't

allow all the excuses keep you from persuing something important. I was

terrified I'd leave my son an orphan, or end up in the hospital for months...but

I took my positive attitude and it was fine. Most of the time it is...in fact

alot more than most of the time.

Take care

AJ

" B. Standard " wrote:

>Hi everyone,

>

>I have not gotten very many posts the past two days from this list, so I just

>went to the website and found out I have been bouncing e-mails and my account

>was deactivated. If I didn't respond to someone I most likely didn't get your

>post. Anyway, I am about to burst with thoughts/feelings/questions about the

>possibility of having the DS. . .

>

>I have been doing some serious soul searching in regards to this surgery and

>really need to spill my guts and get some feedback. I apologize for the

>length, but do hope a few of you actually make it through this and reply to me.

>

> >

[Guest guest]

Also, I work

for a church and we are terribly understaffed, and just last week my senior

co-worker put in her two week notice. So there is no way I can take a full

month any time this year. But maybe by next year the new person will be broken

in well enough for me to be off for a while.

Hmmm as I was reading that you reminded me of me. Always thinking how my

problems will cause others discomfort. having this surgery isnt a vanity

issue (ok maybe a little for me) This surgery is about getting healthy. If you

have an oppurtunity to get healthy take it run with it. Your employer will not

fail or go down or fold because you need a few weeks or months to get back on

your feet. And if you employer wants an even better employee then they know that

you having this surgery is actually a plus for them. You are worth this surgery

and waiting shouldnt be an issue. Let me tell you. When I was going off to have

surgery I didnt tell anyone at work what I was having surgery for. At the time

the organization I work for made front page news every day for a month and a

half because of some crap the CEO pulled. And everyone kept saying you are going

to have surgery with all the controversy. And you know I almost didnt have the

surgery then one day while I was dreaming I heard myself saying. " you didnt

start that business and you wont end it " I told myself I am having my surgery as

soon as possible. And I did. And you know what I am happy I did. Because I am

worthy of having good health.

But how would I live without my

paychecks?! Would my job even hold my job for me for a month? Or let me take

leave without pay? Questions, questions.

I'm also wrestling with whether I truly need to have this surgery. I'm feeling

a lot of guilt about my relationship with food... am thinking

thoughts like " I am a fat lazy cow, it's all my fault that I'm so big, b/c I

never exercise and I overeat, etc. " I could really use some help to

sort this out. So here's the deal...

Yup I felt that way also, but I also realized that my relationship with food was

unhealthy and I needed help and if I had cancer because I smoked that wouldnt

stop me from seeking help! I am no scientist. I aint that bright either but I

honestly believe that Morbid Obesity is a disease can you honestly look at

yourself in the mirror and say " God I want to be as fat and unhealthy as

possible " I didnt think so. I honestly believe that there is a chemical

imbalance that causes us to not understand " the feeling of fullness " as a result

of years of not recognizing that we stretch out our stomachs only causing us to

eat more. The more we eat, the more sedirentry we become, the bigger we become

the more we eat, then add some depression and you have a ticking time bomb. Its

a vicious cycle and it doesnt help that we have live in a society that tells us

that in order to be worth something you have to be young underweight and rich.

Unless you are rich in which case all bets are off .

only you can decide when and if to have this surgery. But I dont think

you should beat yourself up to much. I know that I do it. But in the end we just

hurt ourselves. This life we have been blessed with should be spent living and

loving (ok and shopping for beautiful clothes and shoes). Take care *hugs*

Lisbeth (who ranted long enough)

Dr. Macura

June 25, 2001

And is officially throwing out my damn scale

---------------------------------

[Guest guest]

Dawn,

Thanks for your thoughts. It's good to hear that I could possibly eat

sugar/carbs in moderation post surgery. I would love to see some of your before

& after pictures! Do you have any to share? I can't even imagine fitting into

a size 8, 10, or 12! I would feel scrawny! Does it shock you to look in the

mirror?

----- Original Message -----

To: <duodenalswitch >

> I am a sugar/carb person. Do I still love them after surgery? Yes, I do and

> I enjoy them. I be sure to eat my protein and then I eat what I want. Most

> sweets that I ( and probably you) crave are also loaded with fat. We are

> bypassed for fats, so the sweets are not all that destructive. If I didn't

> eat sweets would I lose (or have lost) more weight? Most likely! Even

> though medically I am still overweight, no one who sees me would consider me

> in the least bit fat! I wear a size ten and even some 8's in pants. Usually

> a size 12 in tops. I am happy at the size I am AND I get to eat sweets when

> I want.

[Guest guest]

RE: dumping my thoughts, hoping for help...

> I think the feelings you are having are very normal..but I also think you're

letting your fear take over and give you lots of reasons not to persue the

surgery.

***Sigh. Yeah, your probably right. I am a " worry-a-holic. " ***

Obviously you are the only one that can make that choice. Some of the things I

was thinking while reading your letter include...which is more important...going

to work or saving your life? I know your BMI isn't that high, but with all the

pain you're in...aren't you worth the effort? Talk to your boss and just say

you may have to have some surgery sometime in the near future...how will that

work? I had open DS and traveled to Spain. I am today exactly 3 weeks post

op...I also am very large...390 now but I was 415. I worked part time last week

and today am back at work full time. This will vary person to person but I just

wanted to let you know that not all of us get to stay home and recover. I only

had 2 weeks available and as a single parent I couldnt afford to miss any pay

either. I think your job will cover!

***So two weeks might do if I don't have complications. Hmmm. I didn't know

that.***

> you...I'm not sure of the laws in your state...but talk to someone. Set up

your consult...you can always change your mind...but many drs are scheduled way

out so why wait 3 months then decide you're going to take the next step and have

to wait anohter 6 months. Your fears are normal...I guess my point is don't

allow all the excuses keep you from persuing something important. I was

terrified I'd leave my son an orphan, or end up in the hospital for months...but

I took my positive attitude and it was fine. Most of the time it is...in fact

alot more than most of the time.

***We are moving tomorrow, so I will be very busy the rest of the week, but I

think you may have talked me into at least making the consult appointment. I'll

call next week. Hold me to that, will ya?!

Thanks!

[Guest guest]

Re: dumping my thoughts, hoping for help...

> Hi ,

> IMHO you aren't ready for this surgery.

***Well, you might be right, perhaps I am not ready for this surgery. But I was

trying to reach out for help from the people on this list to determine how I

feel about it.***

Try some of the diet meds if your doctor will supervise you.

***I did call my doctor about medications and I am waiting to hear back from

him. ***

Try Craig, etc.

***I haven't done Craig, but I have done all the rest. ***

Use wls as a last resort.

***Isn't that what we all do? Use WLS as a last resort. I didn't think any of

us were hopping on the table in the operating room before having tried

everything else.***

And you may want to consider an RNY due to the sugar problem.

***I know for sure that I positively don't want the RNY. I have done the

research.***

Maybe some counseling would be helpful.

***I'm already in counseling... in fact I saw my counselor today and spent at

least half the time discussing this surgery and how I feel about it. I have

been seeing her for over a year and talking about my food issues. I just needed

to vent to some people who have been there. I do best when I can " hash things

out " with others who can relate.***

[Guest guest]

Re: dumping my thoughts, hoping for help...

> Hi ,

> IMHO you aren't ready for this surgery.

***Well, you might be right, perhaps I am not ready for this surgery. But I was

trying to reach out for help from the people on this list to determine how I

feel about it.***

Try some of the diet meds if your doctor will supervise you.

***I did call my doctor about medications and I am waiting to hear back from

him. ***

Try Craig, etc.

***I haven't done Craig, but I have done all the rest. ***

Use wls as a last resort.

***Isn't that what we all do? Use WLS as a last resort. I didn't think any of

us were hopping on the table in the operating room before having tried

everything else.***

And you may want to consider an RNY due to the sugar problem.

***I know for sure that I positively don't want the RNY. I have done the

research.***

Maybe some counseling would be helpful.

***I'm already in counseling... in fact I saw my counselor today and spent at

least half the time discussing this surgery and how I feel about it. I have

been seeing her for over a year and talking about my food issues. I just needed

to vent to some people who have been there. I do best when I can " hash things

out " with others who can relate.***

[Guest guest]

,

This is a huge decision. I can remember posting similar thoughts

as I was making my decision. I almost wanted someone to just make it

for me, I was struggling that much.

Remember that you dont have to do this right now if you're not

sure. Its not like the surgeons will stop doing it, it is fast

gaining popularity, and new DS surgeons are poping up everywhere.

The complications and death in recent discussion are disconcerting,

and probably tough on many pre-ops. Remember, though, that most

people do very well and have a dramatic improvement in quality of

life. Go to the patient profiles on the DS information zone. There

is about 100 profiles, with a good variety of experiences.

Good luck in this decision, I really understand how you feel.

Meli

June 21,01

Dr Hess

-41lb and shrinking

-- In duodenalswitch@y..., " B. Standard " <hbstandard@h...>

wrote:

> Hi everyone,

>

> I have not gotten very many posts the past two days from this list,

so I just

> went to the website and found out I have been bouncing e-mails and

my account

> was deactivated. If I didn't respond to someone I most likely

didn't get your

> post. Anyway, I am about to burst with thoughts/feelings/questions

about the

> possibility of having the DS. . .

>

> I have been doing some serious soul searching in regards to this

surgery and

> really need to spill my guts and get some feedback. I apologize

for the

> length, but do hope a few of you actually make it through this and

reply to me.

>

> The closer that I get to the possibility of surgery the more scared

I get. And

> all I've done so far is talk to my PCP about it and decide on a

surgeon I'd like

> to possibly make a consultation appointment with! The thought of

complications

> during and after the procedure scares me to death, so I haven't

made a consult

> appt. yet. I'm also afraid I'll have to be off from work for more

days than I

> have for sick leave. I don't know how to handle that. I know some

of you have

> suggested that I look into disability, so I did, but learned that I

don't have

> short-term coverage. I can't afford to take leave without pay.

Also, I work

> for a church and we are terribly understaffed, and just last week

my senior

> co-worker put in her two week notice. So there is no way I can

take a full

> month any time this year. But maybe by next year the new person

will be broken

> in well enough for me to be off for a while. But how would I live

without my

> paychecks?! Would my job even hold my job for me for a month? Or

let me take

> leave without pay? Questions, questions.

>

> Also, I have been scared to talk about it with my friends and

family for fear of

> their reaction, but part of me has been bursting at the seams to

talk about it

> with someone. So finally today I told a co-worker and my mom. The

co-worker

> was very supportive. My mom was understandably a bit more scared

about the

> prospect, but she did say she would support me if I decide to have

the surgery.

> I told her how much I currently weigh and she was shocked to know

it was that

> high, but she is scared for me to have " major surgery. "

>

> I'm also wrestling with whether I truly need to have this surgery.

I'm feeling

> a lot of guilt about my relationship with food... am thinking

> thoughts like " I am a fat lazy cow, it's all my fault that I'm so

big, b/c I

> never exercise and I overeat, etc. " I could really use some help

to

> sort this out. So here's the deal...

>

> I have a BMI of 40 (a few short weeks ago it was a 38 or 39 and now

I am already

> up to 40 - gaining weight like there is no tomorrow), and that is

> right on the border of qualifying for the surgery, and I'm still

fairly young -

> 32 years old. But I have insulin resistance (aka " borderline

> diabetes " ), hypothyroidism, chronic back pain, chronic fatigue,

PCOS &

> infertility, GERD, depression, water retention, shortness of

breath, am waiting

> for the test results to see if I have sleep apnea (we know for sure

that I

> snore), and I feel like %$#@* & !! all the time - does that count as a

> co-morbidity?! LOL. But seriously, I truly do feel horrible all

the time. It

> gets old.

>

> It looks like a " no-brainer " when I list all the co-morbids, but

that voice

> keeps saying to me " It's your fault, you eat too much, you

shouldn't have to

> resort to surgery, if you had more will power you wouldn't be this

fat, you

> could go on a diet and exercise and you'd loose weight

the 'regular' way. " And

> then I wonder, " couldn't I just 'buckle up' and do the 'diet thing'

again? Do I

> really have to resort to permanently changing my digestive system

and putting

> myself at risk for complications? " The thing is if I don't do

something I can

> totally see myself just continuing to gain weight and eventually

have a much,

> much higher BMI with a lot more health problems, and so far I

haven't been

> successful with dieting and exercise.

>

> And lastly, I am wondering... right now, pre-op, I have *terrible*

sugar and

> other carb cravings and can't resist eating them even though I know

I shouldn't.

> So why will that be any different after the surgery? I mean, what

if I get the

> surgery and continue to scarf down sugar? Will it do any good? Or

will I still

> be in the same boat? How do I know that my only problem isn't that

I have a

> huge eating disorder and no matter what I do to my guts I will

still want to

> pack away sugar laden food?

>

> I am just in plain old torment over this. Please help me sort this

out. I'm

> hearing so many thoughts in my head I can't keep them straight!

It's

> like there is a committee in there having a conference. Thank you

for reading

> if you got this far.

>

>

[Guest guest]

,

This is a huge decision. I can remember posting similar thoughts

as I was making my decision. I almost wanted someone to just make it

for me, I was struggling that much.

Remember that you dont have to do this right now if you're not

sure. Its not like the surgeons will stop doing it, it is fast

gaining popularity, and new DS surgeons are poping up everywhere.

The complications and death in recent discussion are disconcerting,

and probably tough on many pre-ops. Remember, though, that most

people do very well and have a dramatic improvement in quality of

life. Go to the patient profiles on the DS information zone. There

is about 100 profiles, with a good variety of experiences.

Good luck in this decision, I really understand how you feel.

Meli

June 21,01

Dr Hess

-41lb and shrinking

-- In duodenalswitch@y..., " B. Standard " <hbstandard@h...>

wrote:

> Hi everyone,

>

> I have not gotten very many posts the past two days from this list,

so I just

> went to the website and found out I have been bouncing e-mails and

my account

> was deactivated. If I didn't respond to someone I most likely

didn't get your

> post. Anyway, I am about to burst with thoughts/feelings/questions

about the

> possibility of having the DS. . .

>

> I have been doing some serious soul searching in regards to this

surgery and

> really need to spill my guts and get some feedback. I apologize

for the

> length, but do hope a few of you actually make it through this and

reply to me.

>

> The closer that I get to the possibility of surgery the more scared

I get. And

> all I've done so far is talk to my PCP about it and decide on a

surgeon I'd like

> to possibly make a consultation appointment with! The thought of

complications

> during and after the procedure scares me to death, so I haven't

made a consult

> appt. yet. I'm also afraid I'll have to be off from work for more

days than I

> have for sick leave. I don't know how to handle that. I know some

of you have

> suggested that I look into disability, so I did, but learned that I

don't have

> short-term coverage. I can't afford to take leave without pay.

Also, I work

> for a church and we are terribly understaffed, and just last week

my senior

> co-worker put in her two week notice. So there is no way I can

take a full

> month any time this year. But maybe by next year the new person

will be broken

> in well enough for me to be off for a while. But how would I live

without my

> paychecks?! Would my job even hold my job for me for a month? Or

let me take

> leave without pay? Questions, questions.

>

> Also, I have been scared to talk about it with my friends and

family for fear of

> their reaction, but part of me has been bursting at the seams to

talk about it

> with someone. So finally today I told a co-worker and my mom. The

co-worker

> was very supportive. My mom was understandably a bit more scared

about the

> prospect, but she did say she would support me if I decide to have

the surgery.

> I told her how much I currently weigh and she was shocked to know

it was that

> high, but she is scared for me to have " major surgery. "

>

> I'm also wrestling with whether I truly need to have this surgery.

I'm feeling

> a lot of guilt about my relationship with food... am thinking

> thoughts like " I am a fat lazy cow, it's all my fault that I'm so

big, b/c I

> never exercise and I overeat, etc. " I could really use some help

to

> sort this out. So here's the deal...

>

> I have a BMI of 40 (a few short weeks ago it was a 38 or 39 and now

I am already

> up to 40 - gaining weight like there is no tomorrow), and that is

> right on the border of qualifying for the surgery, and I'm still

fairly young -

> 32 years old. But I have insulin resistance (aka " borderline

> diabetes " ), hypothyroidism, chronic back pain, chronic fatigue,

PCOS &

> infertility, GERD, depression, water retention, shortness of

breath, am waiting

> for the test results to see if I have sleep apnea (we know for sure

that I

> snore), and I feel like %$#@* & !! all the time - does that count as a

> co-morbidity?! LOL. But seriously, I truly do feel horrible all

the time. It

> gets old.

>

> It looks like a " no-brainer " when I list all the co-morbids, but

that voice

> keeps saying to me " It's your fault, you eat too much, you

shouldn't have to

> resort to surgery, if you had more will power you wouldn't be this

fat, you

> could go on a diet and exercise and you'd loose weight

the 'regular' way. " And

> then I wonder, " couldn't I just 'buckle up' and do the 'diet thing'

again? Do I

> really have to resort to permanently changing my digestive system

and putting

> myself at risk for complications? " The thing is if I don't do

something I can

> totally see myself just continuing to gain weight and eventually

have a much,

> much higher BMI with a lot more health problems, and so far I

haven't been

> successful with dieting and exercise.

>

> And lastly, I am wondering... right now, pre-op, I have *terrible*

sugar and

> other carb cravings and can't resist eating them even though I know

I shouldn't.

> So why will that be any different after the surgery? I mean, what

if I get the

> surgery and continue to scarf down sugar? Will it do any good? Or

will I still

> be in the same boat? How do I know that my only problem isn't that

I have a

> huge eating disorder and no matter what I do to my guts I will

still want to

> pack away sugar laden food?

>

> I am just in plain old torment over this. Please help me sort this

out. I'm

> hearing so many thoughts in my head I can't keep them straight!

It's

> like there is a committee in there having a conference. Thank you

for reading

> if you got this far.

>

>

[Guest guest]

---

My .02 is this---

I am in a similar boat as you--BMI 42. I have gerd, small hiatal

hernia, starting to snore---feel like a slug---

I came to the conclusion that I can't get any heavier--I was

completely put off be WLS, because the only procedures I knew of were

the RNY type of stomach hatchet jobs, and they scared me. The sleeve

gastrectomy is a no brainer--I just can't understand why they even do

those pouches--they are complications waiting to happen.

I'm the healthiest now--I know if I wait-- more co-morbs will creep

in and the surgery risks increase with the wt and comorbs.

You have to feel that you truly deserve this--we are not

indespensible at any job we may have. If you have more of a desk job

you will be able to return sooner--or least do short days until

you're up to par. My husband is a business owner--one of his

employee's is pregnant--what is he going to say? Sorry--no one can

do your job? Any decent employer would want you to take care of

yourself.

At your wt. and age--you are at the best point statistically for

complications. I know I wish I could have had this done at 32, now I

have to look at possible tummy tucks and other crap too. Not to

mention the 8years of a lower quality of life that I put up with. I

wish I had them back.

You do have to deal with your fears--it is a great crippler. People

don't make friends or fall in love because of fear, people won't quit

a crappy job because of fear, they won't end a toxic relationship

because of fear,they stay with the same status quo--never growing--

never moving on--never truly getting the beauty and joy from life

that they deserve.

Persist in your research--persist in your quest for health and

happiness, nothing will be an obstacle if you don't want it to be.

Pammi

[Guest guest]

---

My .02 is this---

I am in a similar boat as you--BMI 42. I have gerd, small hiatal

hernia, starting to snore---feel like a slug---

I came to the conclusion that I can't get any heavier--I was

completely put off be WLS, because the only procedures I knew of were

the RNY type of stomach hatchet jobs, and they scared me. The sleeve

gastrectomy is a no brainer--I just can't understand why they even do

those pouches--they are complications waiting to happen.

I'm the healthiest now--I know if I wait-- more co-morbs will creep

in and the surgery risks increase with the wt and comorbs.

You have to feel that you truly deserve this--we are not

indespensible at any job we may have. If you have more of a desk job

you will be able to return sooner--or least do short days until

you're up to par. My husband is a business owner--one of his

employee's is pregnant--what is he going to say? Sorry--no one can

do your job? Any decent employer would want you to take care of

yourself.

At your wt. and age--you are at the best point statistically for

complications. I know I wish I could have had this done at 32, now I

have to look at possible tummy tucks and other crap too. Not to

mention the 8years of a lower quality of life that I put up with. I

wish I had them back.

You do have to deal with your fears--it is a great crippler. People

don't make friends or fall in love because of fear, people won't quit

a crappy job because of fear, they won't end a toxic relationship

because of fear,they stay with the same status quo--never growing--

never moving on--never truly getting the beauty and joy from life

that they deserve.

Persist in your research--persist in your quest for health and

happiness, nothing will be an obstacle if you don't want it to be.

Pammi

[Guest guest]

, if you didn't get nervous it would be abnormal. I couldn't do

more than get mon-syllable answers while waiting outside of the

surgical suite. I was so tense the anesthetiologists told me a joke so

bad it was actually funny. There are two types of surgery major an

minor. Any surgery performed on you is major, surgery performed on

others is minor. And yes I laughed at this. At this point you are

atleast 3 months away from a realistic surgical date.

>

>

> The closer that I get to the possibility of surgery the more scared

I get. And all I've done so far is talk to my PCP about it and decide

on a surgeon I'd like

to possibly make a consultation appointment with! The thought of

complications during and after the procedure scares me to death, so I

haven't made a consultappt. yet.

>

>

You will be out of work for more sick leave than you have as most

people only have 7 days of sick of time. However there are ways to

work around this I knew 5 months before my surgery that I wanted to

have surgery and that short term disability would not pay enough. So I

began socking away money in a seperate savings account. You could put

aside as little as 10% a week for the next 5 months and you would have

2.5 weeks salary saved up. Another idea is to forego gifts from family

in lieu of cash to help you out during this time period. Another

little trick(which I myself have never mastered) is to stop spending

change pay for everything with whole dollar amounts and save the

change until the end of the day. Put all change in a jar at the end of

every day. It could really add up.

>

Now as to the work thing. Within 3 months time I think that the new

person should be trained. If your employer really needs help they can

bring in a temp or a college intern. My company hired 2 interns not

specifically to replace me but that is what they ended up doing during

my recovery period.

>

I can understand the worry you have about still having a job when it

after your recover. I had the same fears. Eventually I had several

factors that helped me move forward. Someone I know had their leg

amputated as a result of Diabetes. I knew I was just a few short years

away from Type II Diabetes given my weight and family history and my

constant sugar cravings it was a chance that I was not willing to

take. Every day I was in pain due to the swelling in feet. I knew that

the swelling was a direct result of my weight. I also realized that no

matter how indespensible I thought I was my job could be gone

tommorrow. And I would be left trying to find a job as a morbidly

obese person. And even if I were lucky enough to find a job I would

have to wait atleast a year before qualifying for surgery. But most

important of all I wanted to start living my life again being trapped

in my nody with no hope of losing weight was killing my inner spirit

day by day.

>

I am happy to say that I returned to work 2 weeks ago and my position

is just as secure as it was before I left. Not only that but I

received 3 baskets filled with fruits, teas, and wonderful skin

products while I was out. Also there are laws that mandate that your

exact job postion be held open for 8 weeks. after 8 weeks your postion

can be given to someone else but you must still be given a position

elsewhere in the company in a similar capacity at an equal salary. The

law is on your side in this case. Also please be aware that while your

company may not pay short term disability you pay for it every week in

your check. You need to check with your local labor board to see how

you can claim the benefits. I can tell you from experience it is not a

whole lot of money probably between 100 to 200 dollars a week. But

this is your money don't let it go unclaimed.

>

I'm also afraid I'll have to be off from work for more days than I

> have for sick leave. I don't know how to handle that. I know some

of you have suggested that I look into disability, so I did, but

learned that I don't have

> short-term coverage. I can't afford to take leave without pay.

Also, I work

> for a church and we are terribly understaffed, and just last week my

senior

> co-worker put in her two week notice. So there is no way I can take

a full

> month any time this year. But maybe by next year the new person

will be broken

> in well enough for me to be off for a while. But how would I live

without my

> paychecks?! Would my job even hold my job for me for a month? Or

let me take

> leave without pay? Questions, questions.

>

>

You are braver than I am. I have not told my co-workers, friends and

most of my friends. They are aware that I had surgery for abdominal

problems and that is all. I told my fiance the weekend before the

surgery and I told my parents 2 hours before I left for the airport.

Needless to say this gave no one time to ask any questions or voice

any objections. Upon reaching my goal weight I will inform some of my

closer friends but not my co-workers. My work life and home life are

two seperate areas.

>

>

> Also, I have been scared to talk about it with my friends and family

for fear of

> their reaction, but part of me has been bursting at the seams to

talk about it

> with someone. So finally today I told a co-worker and my mom. The

co-worker

> was very supportive. My mom was understandably a bit more scared

about the

> prospect, but she did say she would support me if I decide to have

the surgery.

> I told her how much I currently weigh and she was shocked to know it

was that

> high, but she is scared for me to have " major surgery. "

>

>

Everyone who thinks about wls struggles with this question.

The turning point for me came when I wrote my diet history for the

Insurance company. I realize that since the age of 15 I have been on a

diet consistently with the exception of a few months here and there.

That is almost half of my life dieting, losing and gaining. Dieting

has colored my life and limited the quality of it. And finally I knew

that I was never going on another diet. As a post-op I am not on a

diet. I know that I need 75g of protein every day and my supplements

and those are my only dietary concerns.

>

>

> I'm also wrestling with whether I truly need to have this surgery.

I'm feeling

> a lot of guilt about my relationship with food... am thinking

> thoughts like " I am a fat lazy cow, it's all my fault that I'm so

big, b/c I

> never exercise and I overeat, etc. " I could really use some help

to

> sort this out. So here's the deal...

>

> I have a BMI of 40 (a few short weeks ago it was a 38 or 39 and now

I am already

> up to 40 - gaining weight like there is no tomorrow), and that is

> right on the border of qualifying for the surgery, and I'm still

fairly young -

> 32 years old. But I have insulin resistance (aka " borderline

> diabetes " ), hypothyroidism, chronic back pain, chronic fatigue, PCOS

&

> infertility, GERD, depression, water retention, shortness of breath,

am waiting

> for the test results to see if I have sleep apnea (we know for sure

that I

> snore), and I feel like %$#@* & !! all the time - does that count as a

> co-morbidity?! LOL. But seriously, I truly do feel horrible all

the time. It

> gets old.

>

> It looks like a " no-brainer " when I list all the co-morbids, but

that voice

> keeps saying to me " It's your fault, you eat too much, you shouldn't

have to

> resort to surgery, if you had more will power you wouldn't be this

fat, you

> could go on a diet and exercise and you'd loose weight the 'regular'

way. " And

> then I wonder, " couldn't I just 'buckle up' and do the 'diet thing'

again? Do I

> really have to resort to permanently changing my digestive system

and putting

> myself at risk for complications? " The thing is if I don't do

something I can

> totally see myself just continuing to gain weight and eventually

have a much,

> much higher BMI with a lot more health problems, and so far I

haven't been

> successful with dieting and exercise.

>

>

The sugar cravings do not disappear. However, I have found that

chocolate does not appeal to me anymore. As a result 80% of the sweets

that would have turned my head pre-op do not appeal to me anymore. I

have also found that things with a creamy texture repulse me as a

result a lot of the high carb foods are on my yucky list. The other

thing to take into consideration is that your stomach will only hold 4

ounces that is half a cup. This will make it virtually impossible for

you to overindulge. The major thing is that you always eat your

protein first and then the other stuff. After eating your protein you

will be lucky if you can get in 2-3 bites of a carb rich food. Now as

you can guess 2-3 bites of any rich carb food isn't enough to keep you

from losing the excess weight.

I can't answer the last part as I am only 6 weeks as of today

>> Tina

7/3/01 -44

Dr. Gagner

> And lastly, I am wondering... right now, pre-op, I have *terrible*

sugar and

> other carb cravings and can't resist eating them even though I know

I shouldn't.

> So why will that be any different after the surgery? I mean, what

if I get the

> surgery and continue to scarf down sugar? Will it do any good? Or

will I still

> be in the same boat? How do I know that my only problem isn't that

I have a

> huge eating disorder and no matter what I do to my guts I will still

want to

> pack away sugar laden food?

>

> I am just in plain old torment over this. Please help me sort this

out. I'm

> hearing so many thoughts in my head I can't keep them straight!

It's

> like there is a committee in there having a conference. Thank you

for reading

> if you got this far.

>

>

[Guest guest]

only you can decide if you are ready for this surgery and

no one looks into this surgery until they have tried atleast 10

different diets. If you are thinking about you are ready. And I don't

give a rats bottom what someones HO is. The only honest opinion that

matters is your own.

>

>

Yes you may be a workalholic but all of us are in todays job market.

Letting go of the reins even temporarily is hard. I suspect that we

are a lot alike in that we do our jobs and even more than our share

of the work and have set up everything in nice organized fashion

and are terrified that while we are gone everything will fall to

pieces. Speaking from the other side I can give you the good news

for the first week you will not even think about the job. Frm the

second week on your co-workers will call you at home for help and tell

you how much they miss and how they didn't realize until now how much

you get done.

>

>

You don't need to try anymore diets. Evey diet you go on lowers

your metabolism more. If you want to increase your excercise and watch

what your eating or even try getting the reccommended 75g of protein

daily you have to get in post-op, that would be great and give you a

feel for what post-op life if like.

>

>

As far RNY goes I know that some surgeons prefer it for diabetic

patients. However most of the post-op ds'ers I see on the list no

longer require medicine or insulin and their blood sugar remains

within normal ranges.

>

>

Yes WLS is the last resort. But the last resort in this case is your

best resort given your co-morbites and the extreme possiblity of your

developing additional co-morbites in the near future.

>

,

I know where you are coming from and you are in my prayers.

Keep working towards your goal you will be happier and healthier.

> Re: dumping my thoughts, hoping for

help...

>

>

> > Hi ,

> > IMHO you aren't ready for this surgery.

>

> ***Well, you might be right, perhaps I am not ready for this

surgery. But I was

> trying to reach out for help from the people on this list to

determine how I

> feel about it.***

>

>

> Try some of the diet meds if your doctor will supervise you.

>

> ***I did call my doctor about medications and I am waiting to hear

back from

> him. ***

>

>

> Try Craig, etc.

>

> ***I haven't done Craig, but I have done all the rest. ***

>

>

> Use wls as a last resort.

>

> ***Isn't that what we all do? Use WLS as a last resort. I didn't

think any of

> us were hopping on the table in the operating room before having

tried

> everything else.***

>

>

> And you may want to consider an RNY due to the sugar problem.

>

> ***I know for sure that I positively don't want the RNY. I have

done the

> research.***

>

>

> Maybe some counseling would be helpful.

>

> ***I'm already in counseling... in fact I saw my counselor today and

spent at

> least half the time discussing this surgery and how I feel about it.

I have

> been seeing her for over a year and talking about my food issues. I

just needed

> to vent to some people who have been there. I do best when I can

" hash things

> out " with others who can relate.***

>

>

[Guest guest]

Congrats, Dawn, on your weight loss! Did you have to

have a tummy tuck or other surgery? You lost alot of

weight!

dee

--- dwkteach@... wrote:

> In a message dated 08/14/2001 6:59:34 PM Central

> Daylight Time,

> hbstandard@... writes:

>

>

> > Dawn,

> >

> > Thanks for your thoughts. It's good to hear that

> I could possibly eat

> > sugar/carbs in moderation post surgery. I would

> love to see some of your

> > before

> > & after pictures! Do you have any to share? I

> can't even imagine fitting

> > into

> > a size 8, 10, or 12! I would feel scrawny! Does

> it shock you to look in

> > the

> > mirror?

> >

> >

> >

>

> I guess getting pictures into the duodenalswitch

> site is on the list with

> getting the boxes of pictures I have here of my kids

> into albums!!!!! Maybe

> when I retire in 16 more years!! LOL I have to say

> that being a size 10

> (mostly) is great! This is especially true

> considering that I DO NOT HAVE

> TO DIET!!! It IS going to last longer than 2.5

> minutes!!!! YIPPPEEE Can

> you tell I am very happy I did this!! I waged a

> battle with the bulge and I

> WON!!!

>

>

> Dawn

> Dr. Hess, Bowling Green, OH

> BPD/DS

> 4/27/00

> www.duodenalswitch.com

> 267 to 165

> size 22 to size 10

> have made size goal

> no more high blood pressure, sore feet, or dieting!

>

>

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

>

>

----------------------------------------------------------------------

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 08/15/2001 12:38:42 AM Central Daylight Time,

donna_lee777@... writes:

> Congrats, Dawn, on your weight loss! Did you have to

> have a tummy tuck or other surgery? You lost alot of

> weight!

>

> dee

>

No tummy tuck for me. I have no plans of having one. I do have a tiny bit

of hang over on the sides but none in the front. More of a problem is I have

a roll above my waist. My mother says this is just hereditary because she

has it too. Thus my waist is about a size 12, my hips/butt a size 8 and my

legs a size 10. So I usually end up going with a size 10 that has some

elastic in the waist.

Dawn

Dr. Hess, Bowling Green, OH

BPD/DS

4/27/00

www.duodenalswitch.com

267 to 165

size 22 to size 10

have made size goal

no more high blood pressure, sore feet, or dieting!

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/14/01 9:22:38 PM Pacific Daylight Time,

dreamweavergirlus@... writes:

> . I couldn't do

> more than get mon-syllable answers while waiting outside of the

> surgical suite.

My surgery was at 3pm and all I did the day of surgery was lay curled up on

my bed...snoozing off and on and talking to no one. I think we all have ways

of dealing with the stress....that waiting is a killer. I'm so glad that

part is over!!

~~* AJ *~~

Post op 7/24/01 Open BPD/DS

self pay - Dr Baltasar -Alcoy Spain

07/24/01 BMI 64 - 415.1

08/06/01 BMI 59 - 390.2 -24.9 lbs!!!!!!!!!!~~~~

Check out the

Bellingham Support for WLS

WWW.WLSBellingham.homestead.com

[Guest guest]

from " Weight Loss Surgery, Finding the Thin Person Hiding Inside of

You "

Before your surgery, make a list of all the things you would like to

do after you have lost weight. Sometimes we think that weight loss

surgery is only about losing weight, but it is so much more than just

that. It is about having a vibrant and exciting new life. It is

about doing the things that might have been impossible in the past.

Here are some things that you could put on your list:

1. Walk up the stairs without getting short of breath

2. Play with your children

3. Go to an amusement park and have the safety bar go down

4. Ride in an airplane and not need a seat belt extension

5. Cut down or eliminate your medications

6. Paint your toenails

7. Stop worrying that the chair that you are sitting in might fall

apart beneath you

8. Stop worrying that the restaurant that you are going to might

have only booths

9. Fit in a bathtub and have water on both sides

10. Shop in a store for regular sized people

11. Buy clothes because you like them not just because they are big

enough

12. Not be the biggest person in any room

13. Cross your legs

14. Ride a bicycle

15. Skate

16. Have so much energy you wake up feeling ready to rock and roll

During the times when you may get discouraged and feel that you are

not making any real progress, take out your list and rejoice in how

far you have come by checking off the items you can now accomplish.

Look at each of the other items as a personal challenge to

overcome. "

====================

[Guest guest]

Thank you , your post put a smile on my face. These things are

beginning to happen for me now, (some of them) and I'm just 8 weeks

out. It will get better and better. Always good to read your

posts:) Meli

-- In duodenalswitch@y..., " " <Viau@t...> wrote:

> from " Weight Loss Surgery, Finding the Thin Person Hiding Inside of

> You "

>

> Before your surgery, make a list of all the things you would like

to

> do after you have lost weight. Sometimes we think that weight loss

> surgery is only about losing weight, but it is so much more than

just

> that. It is about having a vibrant and exciting new life. It is

> about doing the things that might have been impossible in the

past.

> Here are some things that you could put on your list:

>

> 1. Walk up the stairs without getting short of breath

> 2. Play with your children

> 3. Go to an amusement park and have the safety bar go down

> 4. Ride in an airplane and not need a seat belt extension

> 5. Cut down or eliminate your medications

> 6. Paint your toenails

> 7. Stop worrying that the chair that you are sitting in might

fall

> apart beneath you

> 8. Stop worrying that the restaurant that you are going to might

> have only booths

> 9. Fit in a bathtub and have water on both sides

> 10. Shop in a store for regular sized people

> 11. Buy clothes because you like them not just because they are big

> enough

> 12. Not be the biggest person in any room

> 13. Cross your legs

> 14. Ride a bicycle

> 15. Skate

> 16. Have so much energy you wake up feeling ready to rock and roll

>

> During the times when you may get discouraged and feel that you are

> not making any real progress, take out your list and rejoice in how

> far you have come by checking off the items you can now accomplish.

> Look at each of the other items as a personal challenge to

> overcome. "

>

> ====================

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you , your post put a smile on my face. These things are

beginning to happen for me now, (some of them) and I'm just 8 weeks

out. It will get better and better. Always good to read your

posts:) Meli

-- In duodenalswitch@y..., " " <Viau@t...> wrote:

> from " Weight Loss Surgery, Finding the Thin Person Hiding Inside of

> You "

>

> Before your surgery, make a list of all the things you would like

to

> do after you have lost weight. Sometimes we think that weight loss

> surgery is only about losing weight, but it is so much more than

just

> that. It is about having a vibrant and exciting new life. It is

> about doing the things that might have been impossible in the

past.

> Here are some things that you could put on your list:

>

> 1. Walk up the stairs without getting short of breath

> 2. Play with your children

> 3. Go to an amusement park and have the safety bar go down

> 4. Ride in an airplane and not need a seat belt extension

> 5. Cut down or eliminate your medications

> 6. Paint your toenails

> 7. Stop worrying that the chair that you are sitting in might

fall

> apart beneath you

> 8. Stop worrying that the restaurant that you are going to might

> have only booths

> 9. Fit in a bathtub and have water on both sides

> 10. Shop in a store for regular sized people

> 11. Buy clothes because you like them not just because they are big

> enough

> 12. Not be the biggest person in any room

> 13. Cross your legs

> 14. Ride a bicycle

> 15. Skate

> 16. Have so much energy you wake up feeling ready to rock and roll

>

> During the times when you may get discouraged and feel that you are

> not making any real progress, take out your list and rejoice in how

> far you have come by checking off the items you can now accomplish.

> Look at each of the other items as a personal challenge to

> overcome. "

>

> ====================

>