Dilemma

[Guest guest]

Here's my newest and latest quandary...can you help?

Background: I live in Pacifica, which is right near SF. My parents are 2

hours away (Mom) or 3 hours away (Dad, Step-Mom and sister). My in-laws are

in San , about an hour away. My parents are pretty useless when it

comes to helping out with my 2 children (ages just-turned-5 and 2.5), but my

in-laws are a big help. My Dad, Step-Mom and sister won't support the

surgery -- they're granola heads. (Dad hasn't had routine medical work done

in 20? years.) I'm my mom's only child, so she would worry herself sick at

the idea of me going " under the knife. " (Or not? Do I take that risk?)

Needless to say, I don't want to tell my family at all. I made the mistake

of telling my sister (my much-younger half-sister, actually), and she

freaked out. I'd rather not tell my in-laws, BUT they're the only ones who

help out with my children, and if my husband's goign to be able to come with

me to Delano, it's going to be b/c they are watching the kids.

Dilemma: I'm considering telling my mother-in-law (MIL) about the surgery.

I figure if I can get her to be supportive, then I can probably rely on her

to help me out with my babies. The risk, of course, is that she won't be

supportive. She's been thin all her life, but my FIL struggles with his

weight. Her response to his struggles is to try to make his choices for

him, so there's conflict there. Should I tell her? If I don't tell her,

then there's little chance that my dh could come to Delano with me for the

consult..possibly not the surgery, either...unless I lie to her, which could

*really* bite me in the ass later.

If I do tell her, should I write her a letter? Should I tell her via phone?

Should I arrange a time for us to get together and sit down (alone)?

All suggestions welcome....thanks!!

alyssa

[Guest guest]

Here's my newest and latest quandary...can you help?

Background: I live in Pacifica, which is right near SF. My parents are 2

hours away (Mom) or 3 hours away (Dad, Step-Mom and sister). My in-laws are

in San , about an hour away. My parents are pretty useless when it

comes to helping out with my 2 children (ages just-turned-5 and 2.5), but my

in-laws are a big help. My Dad, Step-Mom and sister won't support the

surgery -- they're granola heads. (Dad hasn't had routine medical work done

in 20? years.) I'm my mom's only child, so she would worry herself sick at

the idea of me going " under the knife. " (Or not? Do I take that risk?)

Needless to say, I don't want to tell my family at all. I made the mistake

of telling my sister (my much-younger half-sister, actually), and she

freaked out. I'd rather not tell my in-laws, BUT they're the only ones who

help out with my children, and if my husband's goign to be able to come with

me to Delano, it's going to be b/c they are watching the kids.

Dilemma: I'm considering telling my mother-in-law (MIL) about the surgery.

I figure if I can get her to be supportive, then I can probably rely on her

to help me out with my babies. The risk, of course, is that she won't be

supportive. She's been thin all her life, but my FIL struggles with his

weight. Her response to his struggles is to try to make his choices for

him, so there's conflict there. Should I tell her? If I don't tell her,

then there's little chance that my dh could come to Delano with me for the

consult..possibly not the surgery, either...unless I lie to her, which could

*really* bite me in the ass later.

If I do tell her, should I write her a letter? Should I tell her via phone?

Should I arrange a time for us to get together and sit down (alone)?

All suggestions welcome....thanks!!

alyssa