Update on Chip and Dan--to Gordy

[Guest guest]

Gordy:

Man o man, you caught me. I've been very tight lipped about Chip.

And as usual, there are no easy answers, and patience is required.

Chip is a great guy, and we talk almost every day on the phone. He

lives in LA, but works in SF (M-F). He's a consultant who is working

with a company to set up a business in SF, and in April is planning

on moving to the City. He is kind, attentive, and... I fear,

perhaps, bit of a workaholic. He's 46, tall, blond/silver-hair, blue

eyes, and I really like him. He's had to cancel on dates two nights

in a row due to work. But he's been very apologetic. We'll see how

he makes it up to me tomorrow night.

However...

Dan, the obstetrician, is back in the picture. Dan is smart

(Columbia University Bachelor of Science, Stanford MD...yikes!) and a

very, very nice guy. Our third date was a bit of a disappointment,

and I thought I'd never hear from him again, but he emailed me from

South Africa, and then later from Zimbabwe (he does international

work related to the delivery of health care to women). He says he

can't wait to get back to SF and is looking forward to seeing me

again. He's 37, tall, handsome, curly brown hair, green eyes, sweet

face and smile.

There are so many factors in deciding which way to go. It may turn

out that neither one is Mr. Right. In Dan's favor is his age and his

financial standing which brings about the possibility of having a

child together (a dream of mine for many years). With Dan, we would

be able to give this child a wonderful education and a loving home.

Dan already has two daughters that are being raised by a lesbian

couple, but he wants at least one of his own.

Seeing Dan talk about his daughters makes my heart melt; he is a

natural, loving father. When I hear him talk to his daughters (age 2

and 4), there is a sweetness and loving kindness that touches me to

the core of my being. Also, Dan's work as an obstetrician is his

passion. When he talks about delivering babies and helping to bring

a life into this world, his eyes are full of emotion and his voice

softens to a tone of someone telling of a wonderous, miraculous

occurence.

Those things make Dan very attractive. But like Chip, he's a bit of

a workaholic. I'm not sure a child is in the cards with Chip, which

is not necessarily a bad thing.

In a more personal way, Chip is much more communicative and a bit

more physically demonstrative. And I like that. Chip and I are of

the same faith, so I know he's open to attending church with me. Dan

is Jewish, and that's not a problem for either of us, but I wonder if

he'd be willing to go to church with me. His synagogue serves a

large lesbian and gay Jewish community in San Francisco, and the

pastor of my church and the rabbi of his synagogue are colleagues who

swap pulpits.

Dan is also into Latino men. He's lived in Mexico City (I did my

junior year abroad there in college), and he speaks Spanish. He also

loves to dance, particularly Latin dance, which is something we could

share.

If I were just in the dating thing for " fun, " none of this would

matter. But I'm looking for the long-term--someone to love, someone

to laugh with, someone to build a family with, someone to grow old

with.

So, the choices before me are not easy. I don't want to make a

mistake and rush into something. I want to choose the right guy, and

I have to be right for him. I have to be patient. Never in a

million years did I think I'd be faced with such options when I got

up on that surgery table 2.5 years ago.

My life has gone in a direction that I never dreamed it could. And

the most scary and rewarding part of the journey has been lead by my

heart.

I wonder who will win my heart. Whoever, whenever it is, I'll be

sure to invite you to the wedding! LOL.

Thanks for asking.

The thing about fitting into the urinal stall, jeez, I forgot about

that one! The little quality-of-life issues make such a difference

in our everyday lives.

I guess in a way, having romantic options is another magic moment.

Sometimes it does feel magical. Other times, it's just scary.

You're my hero too. I hope you're doing well.

Francisco

>

> Hi Francisco...

>

> How's my hero today ? Any more news on Chip ? You've been awfully

> tight lipped on this one !! LOL

>

> One big moment for me recently was to cut my toenails and be able

to

> walk afterwards. My sciatica was really bad and my fat thighs made

> it pretty hard to cross my legs to do the clipping.

>

> Another one is being able to fit into the urinal stall in the mens

> room without having to stand outside and arc it into the bowl...LOL

>

> I can wear extra large shirts now and I was wearing 3X-4X and I'm

> almost into a size 38 jean....from 46-48.

>

> Thanks for sharing all the stuff you do with us Francisco. I know

I

> really appreciate your insight and wisdom and I'm sure I'm not

alone

> in saying that.

>

> Regards,

> Gordy

>

[Guest guest]

Gordy:

Man o man, you caught me. I've been very tight lipped about Chip.

And as usual, there are no easy answers, and patience is required.

Chip is a great guy, and we talk almost every day on the phone. He

lives in LA, but works in SF (M-F). He's a consultant who is working

with a company to set up a business in SF, and in April is planning

on moving to the City. He is kind, attentive, and... I fear,

perhaps, bit of a workaholic. He's 46, tall, blond/silver-hair, blue

eyes, and I really like him. He's had to cancel on dates two nights

in a row due to work. But he's been very apologetic. We'll see how

he makes it up to me tomorrow night.

However...

Dan, the obstetrician, is back in the picture. Dan is smart

(Columbia University Bachelor of Science, Stanford MD...yikes!) and a

very, very nice guy. Our third date was a bit of a disappointment,

and I thought I'd never hear from him again, but he emailed me from

South Africa, and then later from Zimbabwe (he does international

work related to the delivery of health care to women). He says he

can't wait to get back to SF and is looking forward to seeing me

again. He's 37, tall, handsome, curly brown hair, green eyes, sweet

face and smile.

There are so many factors in deciding which way to go. It may turn

out that neither one is Mr. Right. In Dan's favor is his age and his

financial standing which brings about the possibility of having a

child together (a dream of mine for many years). With Dan, we would

be able to give this child a wonderful education and a loving home.

Dan already has two daughters that are being raised by a lesbian

couple, but he wants at least one of his own.

Seeing Dan talk about his daughters makes my heart melt; he is a

natural, loving father. When I hear him talk to his daughters (age 2

and 4), there is a sweetness and loving kindness that touches me to

the core of my being. Also, Dan's work as an obstetrician is his

passion. When he talks about delivering babies and helping to bring

a life into this world, his eyes are full of emotion and his voice

softens to a tone of someone telling of a wonderous, miraculous

occurence.

Those things make Dan very attractive. But like Chip, he's a bit of

a workaholic. I'm not sure a child is in the cards with Chip, which

is not necessarily a bad thing.

In a more personal way, Chip is much more communicative and a bit

more physically demonstrative. And I like that. Chip and I are of

the same faith, so I know he's open to attending church with me. Dan

is Jewish, and that's not a problem for either of us, but I wonder if

he'd be willing to go to church with me. His synagogue serves a

large lesbian and gay Jewish community in San Francisco, and the

pastor of my church and the rabbi of his synagogue are colleagues who

swap pulpits.

Dan is also into Latino men. He's lived in Mexico City (I did my

junior year abroad there in college), and he speaks Spanish. He also

loves to dance, particularly Latin dance, which is something we could

share.

If I were just in the dating thing for " fun, " none of this would

matter. But I'm looking for the long-term--someone to love, someone

to laugh with, someone to build a family with, someone to grow old

with.

So, the choices before me are not easy. I don't want to make a

mistake and rush into something. I want to choose the right guy, and

I have to be right for him. I have to be patient. Never in a

million years did I think I'd be faced with such options when I got

up on that surgery table 2.5 years ago.

My life has gone in a direction that I never dreamed it could. And

the most scary and rewarding part of the journey has been lead by my

heart.

I wonder who will win my heart. Whoever, whenever it is, I'll be

sure to invite you to the wedding! LOL.

Thanks for asking.

The thing about fitting into the urinal stall, jeez, I forgot about

that one! The little quality-of-life issues make such a difference

in our everyday lives.

I guess in a way, having romantic options is another magic moment.

Sometimes it does feel magical. Other times, it's just scary.

You're my hero too. I hope you're doing well.

Francisco

>

> Hi Francisco...

>

> How's my hero today ? Any more news on Chip ? You've been awfully

> tight lipped on this one !! LOL

>

> One big moment for me recently was to cut my toenails and be able

to

> walk afterwards. My sciatica was really bad and my fat thighs made

> it pretty hard to cross my legs to do the clipping.

>

> Another one is being able to fit into the urinal stall in the mens

> room without having to stand outside and arc it into the bowl...LOL

>

> I can wear extra large shirts now and I was wearing 3X-4X and I'm

> almost into a size 38 jean....from 46-48.

>

> Thanks for sharing all the stuff you do with us Francisco. I know

I

> really appreciate your insight and wisdom and I'm sure I'm not

alone

> in saying that.

>

> Regards,

> Gordy

>