RE: Think about this,guys- its very relevant sometimes..(CP)

July 30, 2001

Liane,

Thank you so very much for this post. I'm sitting here, 2 weeks post-op,

berating myself because I don't have the energy to do my hour pool jogging;

this after cleaning and straightening the house for 3 1/2 hours this a.m.

You took a lot of guilt off my shoulders. I think I'm going to sit back with

a shake, put my feet up and watch the Food Channel ( for vicarious

thrills!).

Marcia

> Think about this,guys- its very relevant

> sometimes..(CP)

>

> I found this on one of my " other " lists.. and I'm going to try and

> keep this in my head when I get to worrying...

> Enjoy-

> Hugs,

> Liane

>

> Greetings Friends:

> This letter / thought was initially spurred on in relation to

> something I have been hearing women being told for all of my WLS days

> and culminated the other day at a support group meeting I spoke at.

> Additionally, it does go out to ALL of us in theory. First off, for

> years now I have been hearing that " woman do not lose as fast as men " .

> I heard it before Weight Loss Surgery and I certainly hear it at just

> about every group I attend. YET...I sit and read posts, listen to

> people share at meetings and I am TOTALLY AMAZED at the weight that

> people are losing and the rapidity they are doing it with. Yes, I have

> lost a huge amount of weight and had a huge amount to lose but I have

> to tell you, I did not lose at the level some of you have and are.

> Yesterday, a woman stood up and just about apologized; she was 30 days

> Post Op and had " ONLY " lost 25 pounds. Folks, this was not an

> extremely large woman to start with. ONLY!!! What kind of message or

> expectation are we setting up for ourselves here? Another woman shared

> that she lost 135 pounds in about 6 months with 26 more to go; and she

> was a bit frustrated....thought she was doing something wrong. A

> gentleman got up and very gingerly went to the podium and spoke. He

> was 63 years old, still very heavy, and I figured his slow pace was

> due to the weight. He started his sharing by saying how he felt soooo

> tired, and was a bit shocked by it. THEN, he went on to say that he

> was 2 WEEKS POST OP. I nearly keeled over. My cousin had to literally

> kick my ass just to get me to just leave the apartment and walk along

> my catwalk, and this gentleman was feeling surprised and a bit " less

> than " because he was tired.

>

> Friends....I feel we have a bit of an epidemic brewing here. I sat and

> thought of how many major surgeries done in America have the level of

> support groups, web sites, community, meetings and general sociability

> and visibility that WLS does. The closest I could come up with was

> cardiac surgery, and I assure you that they in no way place the

> unrealistic and high expectations on themselves or fellow members that

> we seem to. While I understand it, just think about how just about

> everything we say is about our weights, how long it has taken us or

> how short....how frustrated by not losing fast enough and to boot

> ....then when we are losing the weights how we hate our bodies,

> etc...etc. Whewwwwww.....this is just exhausting thinking about it. We

> sit talking about plastic surgery like we are talking about a

> television program. We have become the new " Survivor " show yet the

> enormity of the operation sort of gets lost in the shuffle.

>

> MAKE NO MISTAKE....WLS is a MAJOR PROCEDURE.

>

> The fact that the man I spoke about even came to the support group

> amazed me.....that he walked the way he did astounded me. The loss in

> pounds looks much different when you make it a percentage.....NUMBERS

> DO NOT LIE BUT THEY CAN DECEIVE. So...Ladies.....FORGET the concept

> that you " do not lose as fast as men " ....what good does it serve you.

> Friends...do not underestimate the initial toll this surgery takes on

> your bodies...we are cut thru and thru and rebuilt internally. Of

> course we are going to take time to heal....BE PATIENT.

> PLEASE....trust all that have gone before you and use their success

> stories as a foundation of faith and positivity....NOT comparison and

> competition. We are inadvertantly programmed and programming ourselves

> in what I consider to be a not so great direction. Example....can you

> tell me that when someone shares the weight they have lost and the

> time that it took you do not compare your own results??? LOL....in our

> happiness and support for others we often wind up admonishing

> ourselves. We are all doing great, we have shown courage, reflection,

> commitment, perseverance, endurance, openmindedness, kindness to

> ourselves and others in the support and sharing......so let's not

> underestimate this procedure or our own successes.

>

> Speech over.....

> With Love....baron

> RNY......4/29/98.....535lbs....(high 600)

> Currently................197.......rofl.....SEE, I do it

> myself.........

>

> ----------------------------------------------------------------------

>

July 30, 2001