Re: Ron: A couple things...

[Guest guest]

Robynn, Robynn, Robynn... We should nickname you Rebel-Rouser Robynn, or Give-'em-Hell-Robynn! I always look forward to your advice. You always seem to be able to hit the nail on the head and get your point across with absolute certainty. You are right, as usual though. Of course, I've received a lot of wonderful comments from so many others here as well.

To date, my "plan" has been rather loose and unformed. It's time to really take the bull by the horns and get busy losing weight. I have a mere 55 pounds to go and Dr. Baggs will be looking at my insides... (yuk! <g>).

Robynn, thank you for your understanding, your encouragement, and the wake up call. I can always count on you to tell it like it is, with your usual touch of sweetness and compassion.

Ron

Re: Ron: A couple things...

Ron, being jealous is a completely natural, normal thing, so don't feel bad about it. It's not that you begrudge people their opportunity for a new life...it's just that you are eager to be along for the ride yourself. That's really understandable.

You know, I only had to lose 26.5 lbs. I say "only", but it was a challenge and it took me quite a while to do. The more weight you have to lose, the more calories you allegedly need to consume to maintain that higher weight. So, if you start out like ...at barely over 200 lbs., she had to cut her calorie consumption wayyyy back in order to lose any weight at all, because the calories that she needed to consume each day to maintain her 200 lbs.l was less than I needed to consume to maintain my 261. So, thus, I was still able to eat 1500 or more a day, and still lose weight in the process...because my body was used to getting more calories that could maintain my weight at 261.

So what I'm trying to say is that it may not take you a lot lot longer ultimately to lose your weight than it takes someone who has less weight to lose than you do. That's not being said as a "get over it and quit crying" comment...that's being said to offer you some encouragement.

You've done an amazing job with your weight since July...and that was without exercising. Now, you are adding exercise to your regimen, and you can already see what a difference that is making for you. It's calories in, calories out. You've reduced your weight a bit, and so you need fewer calories to maintain that weight. With adding exercising, you can continue on the same eating plan you were on, and you can lose weight faster. It's simple math:

Let's say as a 250 lb. person, your body takes at least 2500 calories each day just to maintain 250 lbs. It takes a lot of energy to cart around 250 lbs. More energy than it takes to cart around 150. So, you burn more calories just doing simple things: walking around the house, doing errands, breathing, living. But, hey...you are tired and so you don't do anything more than you absolutely have to...because carting the fat around is work enough. You decide to go on a diet. You cut back to 2000 calories a day. In one week, if you changed nothing else, you would lose one lb. (3500 calories equals a lb.)

So, after 20 weeks, you now weigh 230 lbs. And now, it takes about 2300 calories for you to maintain your weight. If you continue on your 2000 calorie a day diet, it will now take you two and a half weeks to lose 1 lb. You start adding an hour of walking a day. Based upon your weight, and the effort you put into it, let's say you burn 200 calories each day. Well, if you do that...you'll be back on schedule, losing a lb. a week. Because now, in order to maintain your 230 lbs., AND accomodate for your deficit of 200 calories for walking...you need 2500 calories again. And you are only eating 2000...you have 500 fewer calories you are consuming each day...and in a week, you'll lose a lb.

It's math, really. And yes, most of us have physical problems that may make the math not so straightforward...but, really, it essentially follows that pattern.

So Ron...let's say you are trying to follow the Kaiser diet which I think (if I remember correctly) is 1500 calories a day. Let's say you need about 4000 calories a day just to maintain. You can technically lose a lb. every 3 days. Thus, over 2 a week. If you add exercise to that mix, you can push it up to 3 or even more. In the very beginning, and probably even now, at your weight...you havea lot of water retention. The heavier you are, the more inflammation you have in your joints, etc...and the more water you hold on to. So, drink lots of water, and it will flush the excess water from your system. Exercise, and it will increase the calorie deficit you have each day. Follow the diet religiously, weigh and measure things so that you aren't deluding yourself by eating larger portions (and thus, more calories) than you think you are eating. Write it all down for a while, even the little stolen piece of a cracker, the extra cream in your coffee. Do that so that you know exactly (or at least much more accurately) how many approximate calories you are eating.

And do the math. And map out how long it will take you to get to your pre-surgery goal. Make a chart, and have expectations of yourself that you will be at a certain weight every two weeks. If you aren't making that weight, modify your diet. Cut out one piece of fruit...or limit your portion by another 1/8 cup. Add one more glass of water a day to your diet. Add five minutes more of exercise to your day. Do it in small increments, and see if you hit your next two week goal. In other words, adjust things and learn that you are in more control than you think you are. You can make this happen.

If you need to give yourself a butt kick every once in a while,and you are on a plateau, go on a liquid protein drink diet for a couple of days. Increase your water intake a lot when you do that. Lose a few more lbs. and shake it up a little.

Afterwards, these tools will help you. Right now, my weight vacillates a lb. or two. I'm pretty much at goal (normal weight), but I'd like to lose between 10 and 15 lbs. Having had a long European vacation which got me out of my exercise routine, and with a horrendous work schedule in the two months preceding the vacation, I actually had to watch my weight, even though I just had my surgery in June. i found myself eating for stress at times...and even though I couldn't eat as much, I still saw myself turning towards food sometimes.

So, I did what my "normal" friends do. I hit the panic button when my weight went up a lb. and a half, and I increased my water, I got in a little more exercise, and I cut back a little. In a few days it was gone. It's much easier to do that than it is to be up ten or fifteen lbs. and make the adjustments. I plan to do that the rest of my life. I weigh myself everyday. If it goes up a bit, I neither beat myself up nor make excuses ("I'm retaining water", "It's my period", "I ate too much salt yesterday".) Instead, I take control and make a couple of changes and voila...if there really was an excuse (my period starts) than my lifestyle changes let me go down a little bit more than I even expected.

Ron, make a chart and put yourself on a real course of expectation for yourself. make the expectations reasonable, so that you don't get depressed...but don't be too soft on yourself or it will take forever.

It took me from January 18 to the end of May to lose my 26 lbs. I could have done it sooner but I wasn't focused enough, and I deluded myself into thinking I was being better behaved than I was being. I finally got tired of being jealous of everyone who was getting surgery before me (because I felt bad about those feelings too, and I started to feel really petty and also defeated at the same time). I decided to set goals for myself, and I decided I was having the damn surgery before July. And so, I made that chart. I set specific exercise goals and water goals and food/calorie goals. if I ate more than I should, I added an additional walk. If I was a tired slug one day and couldn't exercise, I decreased my calories by a couple of hundred calories. (I hated doing that, so I wound up being better about exercising). I made a chart for my refrigerator of glasses of water, and I checked them off as I drank them.

It was a plan, man. A plan that I knew if I stuck to, I'd get there...and if I didn't stick to it, I'd only be hurting myself, you know?

You are well more than halfway there. QUite a bit more than halfway. You've done a wonderful job, and you've been loving and supportive to others. You've seen your sister transform before your eyes.

You know that this surgery is generally good for an easy hundred lb. loss. More than that will be up to you. Getting yourself to a lower weight before surgery will guarantee you better health, an easier recovery..and more importantly, will help you get to a normal weight...which is probably your goal.

If you have these great habits in place, part of your life, before the surgery...you will be able to get all the way down to a normal weight. A health weight. A vibrant weight where you will be able to shop in normal sizes, fit into airplane seats, theatre seats...feel healthy and comfortable.

You've worked too hard to settle for less than that. So, if you continue to act in this way now, even though you are frustrated at the amount of time you have to wait...you will have these habits so deeply entrenched, that you will be able to stick with it and make the most of your surgery. You won't dick around and cheat. You will continue to work out and do what you need to do to make sure that you get down to a NORMAL weight.

So, this is a trial and it's hard and it's frustrating, and I totally know how maddening it can be to see everyone jostle ahead of you in the line. Really, I get that. But, think of this as the preparation you need for the rest of your life...and the preparation you need to get to goal.

I'm not rebuking you at all, I hope you know how much I care about you and how much I want you to succeed and how terribly proud I am of you and how proud I am of you for achieving what you've achieved thus far. But, get your game plan together. You are in control of this. You are in control of your body. The surgery will put you in even greater control...and it will help you immeasurably: your weight loss will be much speedier. But even so...learning that what YOU do is what determines your weightloss...that mentality will be youir greatest ally, my friend.

DO THIS. I'm gonna throw a freakin' parade in your honor when you get there, Ron. You'll deserve it!!!

Kisses,

Robynn

[Guest guest]

Robynn, Robynn, Robynn... We should nickname you Rebel-Rouser Robynn, or Give-'em-Hell-Robynn! I always look forward to your advice. You always seem to be able to hit the nail on the head and get your point across with absolute certainty. You are right, as usual though. Of course, I've received a lot of wonderful comments from so many others here as well.

To date, my "plan" has been rather loose and unformed. It's time to really take the bull by the horns and get busy losing weight. I have a mere 55 pounds to go and Dr. Baggs will be looking at my insides... (yuk! <g>).

Robynn, thank you for your understanding, your encouragement, and the wake up call. I can always count on you to tell it like it is, with your usual touch of sweetness and compassion.

Ron

Re: Ron: A couple things...

Ron, being jealous is a completely natural, normal thing, so don't feel bad about it. It's not that you begrudge people their opportunity for a new life...it's just that you are eager to be along for the ride yourself. That's really understandable.

You know, I only had to lose 26.5 lbs. I say "only", but it was a challenge and it took me quite a while to do. The more weight you have to lose, the more calories you allegedly need to consume to maintain that higher weight. So, if you start out like ...at barely over 200 lbs., she had to cut her calorie consumption wayyyy back in order to lose any weight at all, because the calories that she needed to consume each day to maintain her 200 lbs.l was less than I needed to consume to maintain my 261. So, thus, I was still able to eat 1500 or more a day, and still lose weight in the process...because my body was used to getting more calories that could maintain my weight at 261.

So what I'm trying to say is that it may not take you a lot lot longer ultimately to lose your weight than it takes someone who has less weight to lose than you do. That's not being said as a "get over it and quit crying" comment...that's being said to offer you some encouragement.

You've done an amazing job with your weight since July...and that was without exercising. Now, you are adding exercise to your regimen, and you can already see what a difference that is making for you. It's calories in, calories out. You've reduced your weight a bit, and so you need fewer calories to maintain that weight. With adding exercising, you can continue on the same eating plan you were on, and you can lose weight faster. It's simple math:

Let's say as a 250 lb. person, your body takes at least 2500 calories each day just to maintain 250 lbs. It takes a lot of energy to cart around 250 lbs. More energy than it takes to cart around 150. So, you burn more calories just doing simple things: walking around the house, doing errands, breathing, living. But, hey...you are tired and so you don't do anything more than you absolutely have to...because carting the fat around is work enough. You decide to go on a diet. You cut back to 2000 calories a day. In one week, if you changed nothing else, you would lose one lb. (3500 calories equals a lb.)

So, after 20 weeks, you now weigh 230 lbs. And now, it takes about 2300 calories for you to maintain your weight. If you continue on your 2000 calorie a day diet, it will now take you two and a half weeks to lose 1 lb. You start adding an hour of walking a day. Based upon your weight, and the effort you put into it, let's say you burn 200 calories each day. Well, if you do that...you'll be back on schedule, losing a lb. a week. Because now, in order to maintain your 230 lbs., AND accomodate for your deficit of 200 calories for walking...you need 2500 calories again. And you are only eating 2000...you have 500 fewer calories you are consuming each day...and in a week, you'll lose a lb.

It's math, really. And yes, most of us have physical problems that may make the math not so straightforward...but, really, it essentially follows that pattern.

So Ron...let's say you are trying to follow the Kaiser diet which I think (if I remember correctly) is 1500 calories a day. Let's say you need about 4000 calories a day just to maintain. You can technically lose a lb. every 3 days. Thus, over 2 a week. If you add exercise to that mix, you can push it up to 3 or even more. In the very beginning, and probably even now, at your weight...you havea lot of water retention. The heavier you are, the more inflammation you have in your joints, etc...and the more water you hold on to. So, drink lots of water, and it will flush the excess water from your system. Exercise, and it will increase the calorie deficit you have each day. Follow the diet religiously, weigh and measure things so that you aren't deluding yourself by eating larger portions (and thus, more calories) than you think you are eating. Write it all down for a while, even the little stolen piece of a cracker, the extra cream in your coffee. Do that so that you know exactly (or at least much more accurately) how many approximate calories you are eating.

And do the math. And map out how long it will take you to get to your pre-surgery goal. Make a chart, and have expectations of yourself that you will be at a certain weight every two weeks. If you aren't making that weight, modify your diet. Cut out one piece of fruit...or limit your portion by another 1/8 cup. Add one more glass of water a day to your diet. Add five minutes more of exercise to your day. Do it in small increments, and see if you hit your next two week goal. In other words, adjust things and learn that you are in more control than you think you are. You can make this happen.

If you need to give yourself a butt kick every once in a while,and you are on a plateau, go on a liquid protein drink diet for a couple of days. Increase your water intake a lot when you do that. Lose a few more lbs. and shake it up a little.

Afterwards, these tools will help you. Right now, my weight vacillates a lb. or two. I'm pretty much at goal (normal weight), but I'd like to lose between 10 and 15 lbs. Having had a long European vacation which got me out of my exercise routine, and with a horrendous work schedule in the two months preceding the vacation, I actually had to watch my weight, even though I just had my surgery in June. i found myself eating for stress at times...and even though I couldn't eat as much, I still saw myself turning towards food sometimes.

So, I did what my "normal" friends do. I hit the panic button when my weight went up a lb. and a half, and I increased my water, I got in a little more exercise, and I cut back a little. In a few days it was gone. It's much easier to do that than it is to be up ten or fifteen lbs. and make the adjustments. I plan to do that the rest of my life. I weigh myself everyday. If it goes up a bit, I neither beat myself up nor make excuses ("I'm retaining water", "It's my period", "I ate too much salt yesterday".) Instead, I take control and make a couple of changes and voila...if there really was an excuse (my period starts) than my lifestyle changes let me go down a little bit more than I even expected.

Ron, make a chart and put yourself on a real course of expectation for yourself. make the expectations reasonable, so that you don't get depressed...but don't be too soft on yourself or it will take forever.

It took me from January 18 to the end of May to lose my 26 lbs. I could have done it sooner but I wasn't focused enough, and I deluded myself into thinking I was being better behaved than I was being. I finally got tired of being jealous of everyone who was getting surgery before me (because I felt bad about those feelings too, and I started to feel really petty and also defeated at the same time). I decided to set goals for myself, and I decided I was having the damn surgery before July. And so, I made that chart. I set specific exercise goals and water goals and food/calorie goals. if I ate more than I should, I added an additional walk. If I was a tired slug one day and couldn't exercise, I decreased my calories by a couple of hundred calories. (I hated doing that, so I wound up being better about exercising). I made a chart for my refrigerator of glasses of water, and I checked them off as I drank them.

It was a plan, man. A plan that I knew if I stuck to, I'd get there...and if I didn't stick to it, I'd only be hurting myself, you know?

You are well more than halfway there. QUite a bit more than halfway. You've done a wonderful job, and you've been loving and supportive to others. You've seen your sister transform before your eyes.

You know that this surgery is generally good for an easy hundred lb. loss. More than that will be up to you. Getting yourself to a lower weight before surgery will guarantee you better health, an easier recovery..and more importantly, will help you get to a normal weight...which is probably your goal.

If you have these great habits in place, part of your life, before the surgery...you will be able to get all the way down to a normal weight. A health weight. A vibrant weight where you will be able to shop in normal sizes, fit into airplane seats, theatre seats...feel healthy and comfortable.

You've worked too hard to settle for less than that. So, if you continue to act in this way now, even though you are frustrated at the amount of time you have to wait...you will have these habits so deeply entrenched, that you will be able to stick with it and make the most of your surgery. You won't dick around and cheat. You will continue to work out and do what you need to do to make sure that you get down to a NORMAL weight.

So, this is a trial and it's hard and it's frustrating, and I totally know how maddening it can be to see everyone jostle ahead of you in the line. Really, I get that. But, think of this as the preparation you need for the rest of your life...and the preparation you need to get to goal.

I'm not rebuking you at all, I hope you know how much I care about you and how much I want you to succeed and how terribly proud I am of you and how proud I am of you for achieving what you've achieved thus far. But, get your game plan together. You are in control of this. You are in control of your body. The surgery will put you in even greater control...and it will help you immeasurably: your weight loss will be much speedier. But even so...learning that what YOU do is what determines your weightloss...that mentality will be youir greatest ally, my friend.

DO THIS. I'm gonna throw a freakin' parade in your honor when you get there, Ron. You'll deserve it!!!

Kisses,

Robynn