Guest guest Posted January 29, 2006 Report Share Posted January 29, 2006 I decided that I did a pretty bad job of getting my thoughts across on your scary moment, Pam, so I thought I would try again. I may be totally wrong, but here is my take on things. All of us have a set of values and self perceptions. The way we see ourselves, what we are all about...how we define ourselves. Wife, mother, christian, homemaker, employee of the month...whatever. We attach those characteristics, I think, to our physical selves. So when we see ourselves, our brains say...christian mother, pto member, loving wife, or whatever. What we are on the outside and who we are on the inside are attached somehow, I think. Now, we go and lose a ton of weight, and maybe we see a better, healthier version of ourselves...maybe. We feel better about ourselves. Change up our makeup, our wardrobes, our hair, gain a new sense of style. Then we're walking in the mall one day, and catch a glimpse from the corner of our eye of...of ourselves. You know it's you, you know you have lost weight, cut/colored your hair, got a spiffy new black leather jacket (ok, that's me, LOL), but the image reflected back at us is no longer the one we attached our inner selves to. It no longer looks like the image we associated for so many years with who we are...wife, mom, employee of the month-whatever. And we wonder, " what have I become? " We may see our new images as someone with different values than we have carried all our lives. Is she vain? Self centered? A flirt? Is she trustworthy? And that's scary. I think it takes time to intergrate our new outsides with our old insides. And our new insides with our old insides! Is it ok for me to be this concerned with my appearance? Does the fact that I dress this way make me different from who I was? From who I want to be? I think it takes time to " make peace " mentally with what we have become. I hope this makes more sense, and I apologize if I'm off base or rambling like a woman on drugs. LOL Best, Laurie __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 29, 2006 Report Share Posted January 29, 2006 I decided that I did a pretty bad job of getting my thoughts across on your scary moment, Pam, so I thought I would try again. I may be totally wrong, but here is my take on things. All of us have a set of values and self perceptions. The way we see ourselves, what we are all about...how we define ourselves. Wife, mother, christian, homemaker, employee of the month...whatever. We attach those characteristics, I think, to our physical selves. So when we see ourselves, our brains say...christian mother, pto member, loving wife, or whatever. What we are on the outside and who we are on the inside are attached somehow, I think. Now, we go and lose a ton of weight, and maybe we see a better, healthier version of ourselves...maybe. We feel better about ourselves. Change up our makeup, our wardrobes, our hair, gain a new sense of style. Then we're walking in the mall one day, and catch a glimpse from the corner of our eye of...of ourselves. You know it's you, you know you have lost weight, cut/colored your hair, got a spiffy new black leather jacket (ok, that's me, LOL), but the image reflected back at us is no longer the one we attached our inner selves to. It no longer looks like the image we associated for so many years with who we are...wife, mom, employee of the month-whatever. And we wonder, " what have I become? " We may see our new images as someone with different values than we have carried all our lives. Is she vain? Self centered? A flirt? Is she trustworthy? And that's scary. I think it takes time to intergrate our new outsides with our old insides. And our new insides with our old insides! Is it ok for me to be this concerned with my appearance? Does the fact that I dress this way make me different from who I was? From who I want to be? I think it takes time to " make peace " mentally with what we have become. I hope this makes more sense, and I apologize if I'm off base or rambling like a woman on drugs. LOL Best, Laurie __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 30, 2006 Report Share Posted January 30, 2006 Laurie Both of you explanations made sense. Take care. DonnaLLLORY@... wrote: I decided that I did a pretty bad job of getting mythoughts across on your scary moment, Pam, so Ithought I would try again. I may be totally wrong,but here is my take on things.All of us have a set of values and self perceptions. The way we see ourselves, what we are all about...howwe define ourselves. Wife, mother, christian,homemaker, employee of the month...whatever. Weattach those characteristics, I think, to our physicalselves. So when we see ourselves, our brainssay...christian mother, pto member, loving wife, orwhatever. What we are on the outside and who we areon the inside are attached somehow, I think.Now, we go and lose a ton of weight, and maybe we seea better, healthier version of ourselves...maybe. Wefeel better about ourselves. Change up our makeup,our wardrobes, our hair, gain a new sense of style. Then we're walking in the mall one day, and catch aglimpse from the corner of our eye of...of ourselves. You know it's you, you know you have lost weight,cut/colored your hair, got a spiffy new black leatherjacket (ok, that's me, LOL), but the image reflectedback at us is no longer the one we attached our innerselves to. It no longer looks like the image weassociated for so many years with who we are...wife,mom, employee of the month-whatever. And we wonder,"what have I become?" We may see our new images assomeone with different values than we have carried allour lives. Is she vain? Self centered? A flirt? Isshe trustworthy? And that's scary. I think it takestime to intergrate our new outsides with our oldinsides. And our new insides with our old insides! Is it ok for me to be this concerned with myappearance? Does the fact that I dress this way makeme different from who I was? From who I want to be? I think it takes time to "make peace" mentally withwhat we have become.I hope this makes more sense, and I apologize if I'moff base or rambling like a woman on drugs. LOLBest,Laurie__________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 30, 2006 Report Share Posted January 30, 2006 Laurie Both of you explanations made sense. Take care. DonnaLLLORY@... wrote: I decided that I did a pretty bad job of getting mythoughts across on your scary moment, Pam, so Ithought I would try again. I may be totally wrong,but here is my take on things.All of us have a set of values and self perceptions. The way we see ourselves, what we are all about...howwe define ourselves. Wife, mother, christian,homemaker, employee of the month...whatever. Weattach those characteristics, I think, to our physicalselves. So when we see ourselves, our brainssay...christian mother, pto member, loving wife, orwhatever. What we are on the outside and who we areon the inside are attached somehow, I think.Now, we go and lose a ton of weight, and maybe we seea better, healthier version of ourselves...maybe. Wefeel better about ourselves. Change up our makeup,our wardrobes, our hair, gain a new sense of style. Then we're walking in the mall one day, and catch aglimpse from the corner of our eye of...of ourselves. You know it's you, you know you have lost weight,cut/colored your hair, got a spiffy new black leatherjacket (ok, that's me, LOL), but the image reflectedback at us is no longer the one we attached our innerselves to. It no longer looks like the image weassociated for so many years with who we are...wife,mom, employee of the month-whatever. And we wonder,"what have I become?" We may see our new images assomeone with different values than we have carried allour lives. Is she vain? Self centered? A flirt? Isshe trustworthy? And that's scary. I think it takestime to intergrate our new outsides with our oldinsides. And our new insides with our old insides! Is it ok for me to be this concerned with myappearance? Does the fact that I dress this way makeme different from who I was? From who I want to be? I think it takes time to "make peace" mentally withwhat we have become.I hope this makes more sense, and I apologize if I'moff base or rambling like a woman on drugs. LOLBest,Laurie__________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 30, 2006 Report Share Posted January 30, 2006 WOw Laurie, that was really deep and made so much sense. Cecilia --- Donna Jordon wrote: > Laurie > Both of you explanations made sense. Take care. > Donna > > LLLORY@... wrote: > I decided that I did a pretty bad job of getting > my > thoughts across on your scary moment, Pam, so I > thought I would try again. I may be totally wrong, > but here is my take on things. > All of us have a set of values and self perceptions. > > The way we see ourselves, what we are all > about...how > we define ourselves. Wife, mother, christian, > homemaker, employee of the month...whatever. We > attach those characteristics, I think, to our > physical > selves. So when we see ourselves, our brains > say...christian mother, pto member, loving wife, or > whatever. What we are on the outside and who we are > on the inside are attached somehow, I think. > Now, we go and lose a ton of weight, and maybe we > see > a better, healthier version of ourselves...maybe. > We > feel better about ourselves. Change up our makeup, > our wardrobes, our hair, gain a new sense of style. > Then we're walking in the mall one day, and catch a > glimpse from the corner of our eye of...of > ourselves. > You know it's you, you know you have lost weight, > cut/colored your hair, got a spiffy new black > leather > jacket (ok, that's me, LOL), but the image reflected > back at us is no longer the one we attached our > inner > selves to. It no longer looks like the image we > associated for so many years with who we are...wife, > mom, employee of the month-whatever. And we wonder, > " what have I become? " We may see our new images as > someone with different values than we have carried > all > our lives. Is she vain? Self centered? A flirt? > Is > she trustworthy? And that's scary. I think it > takes > time to intergrate our new outsides with our old > insides. And our new insides with our old insides! > Is it ok for me to be this concerned with my > appearance? Does the fact that I dress this way > make > me different from who I was? From who I want to be? > > I think it takes time to " make peace " mentally with > what we have become. > I hope this makes more sense, and I apologize if I'm > off base or rambling like a woman on drugs. LOL > > Best, > Laurie > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 30, 2006 Report Share Posted January 30, 2006 WOw Laurie, that was really deep and made so much sense. Cecilia --- Donna Jordon wrote: > Laurie > Both of you explanations made sense. Take care. > Donna > > LLLORY@... wrote: > I decided that I did a pretty bad job of getting > my > thoughts across on your scary moment, Pam, so I > thought I would try again. I may be totally wrong, > but here is my take on things. > All of us have a set of values and self perceptions. > > The way we see ourselves, what we are all > about...how > we define ourselves. Wife, mother, christian, > homemaker, employee of the month...whatever. We > attach those characteristics, I think, to our > physical > selves. So when we see ourselves, our brains > say...christian mother, pto member, loving wife, or > whatever. What we are on the outside and who we are > on the inside are attached somehow, I think. > Now, we go and lose a ton of weight, and maybe we > see > a better, healthier version of ourselves...maybe. > We > feel better about ourselves. Change up our makeup, > our wardrobes, our hair, gain a new sense of style. > Then we're walking in the mall one day, and catch a > glimpse from the corner of our eye of...of > ourselves. > You know it's you, you know you have lost weight, > cut/colored your hair, got a spiffy new black > leather > jacket (ok, that's me, LOL), but the image reflected > back at us is no longer the one we attached our > inner > selves to. It no longer looks like the image we > associated for so many years with who we are...wife, > mom, employee of the month-whatever. And we wonder, > " what have I become? " We may see our new images as > someone with different values than we have carried > all > our lives. Is she vain? Self centered? A flirt? > Is > she trustworthy? And that's scary. I think it > takes > time to intergrate our new outsides with our old > insides. And our new insides with our old insides! > Is it ok for me to be this concerned with my > appearance? Does the fact that I dress this way > make > me different from who I was? From who I want to be? > > I think it takes time to " make peace " mentally with > what we have become. > I hope this makes more sense, and I apologize if I'm > off base or rambling like a woman on drugs. LOL > > Best, > Laurie > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 30, 2006 Report Share Posted January 30, 2006 Thanks Donna. I was looking at photos from Christmas of the kids, and would see myself in the background or off to the side, and I was like, " who is that?!?! " Laurie __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 30, 2006 Report Share Posted January 30, 2006 Thanks Donna. I was looking at photos from Christmas of the kids, and would see myself in the background or off to the side, and I was like, " who is that?!?! " Laurie __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 30, 2006 Report Share Posted January 30, 2006 Cecilia, I'm glad it made sense to you. I was starting to think I should refrain from posting late at night. ) Laurie __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 30, 2006 Report Share Posted January 30, 2006 Cecilia, I'm glad it made sense to you. I was starting to think I should refrain from posting late at night. ) Laurie __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 31, 2006 Report Share Posted January 31, 2006 Laurie, you are not rambling here. I received what you said so no worries. This is the third time I read your email to just absorb it all and to think about what you said. I think that when I saw myself, I just did not recognize me in the mirror. That was scary and the fact that I did not recognize myself was the thing I did not like (meaning I said I did not like what I saw). I don't think that in my case it had nothing to do with what I was wearing or how I dress because I am still conservative (Robynn can vouch for that). It was just plane old scary and unrealistic that I did not recognize myself. Never did I thought that would happen. I am better as I realize that this is just one of those part of the journey that I have to adjust to. I appreciate your thoughts and comments on my scary moment and don't ever think for a minute that you can't respond to something that I say and I will be offended. I have learned that possibly...just possibly if it offends you or makes you feel slightly different then chances are there just might be some truth to what is being said. So you have to be real with yourself and grow...you know what I am saying. Have a great day! Pam Marsh --- snickers_95203@... wrote: > WOw Laurie, that was really deep and made so much > sense. > Cecilia > > --- Donna Jordon wrote: > > > Laurie > > Both of you explanations made sense. Take care. > > > Donna > > > > LLLORY@... wrote: > > I decided that I did a pretty bad job of getting > > my > > thoughts across on your scary moment, Pam, so I > > thought I would try again. I may be totally > wrong, > > but here is my take on things. > > All of us have a set of values and self > perceptions. > > > > The way we see ourselves, what we are all > > about...how > > we define ourselves. Wife, mother, christian, > > homemaker, employee of the month...whatever. We > > attach those characteristics, I think, to our > > physical > > selves. So when we see ourselves, our brains > > say...christian mother, pto member, loving wife, > or > > whatever. What we are on the outside and who we > are > > on the inside are attached somehow, I think. > > Now, we go and lose a ton of weight, and maybe we > > see > > a better, healthier version of ourselves...maybe. > > We > > feel better about ourselves. Change up our > makeup, > > our wardrobes, our hair, gain a new sense of > style. > > Then we're walking in the mall one day, and catch > a > > glimpse from the corner of our eye of...of > > ourselves. > > You know it's you, you know you have lost weight, > > cut/colored your hair, got a spiffy new black > > leather > > jacket (ok, that's me, LOL), but the image > reflected > > back at us is no longer the one we attached our > > inner > > selves to. It no longer looks like the image we > > associated for so many years with who we > are...wife, > > mom, employee of the month-whatever. And we > wonder, > > " what have I become? " We may see our new images > as > > someone with different values than we have carried > > all > > our lives. Is she vain? Self centered? A flirt? > > > Is > > she trustworthy? And that's scary. I think it > > takes > > time to intergrate our new outsides with our old > > insides. And our new insides with our old > insides! > > Is it ok for me to be this concerned with my > > appearance? Does the fact that I dress this way > > make > > me different from who I was? From who I want to > be? > > > > I think it takes time to " make peace " mentally > with > > what we have become. > > I hope this makes more sense, and I apologize if > I'm > > off base or rambling like a woman on drugs. LOL > > > > Best, > > Laurie > > > > __________________________________________________ > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 31, 2006 Report Share Posted January 31, 2006 Laurie, you are not rambling here. I received what you said so no worries. This is the third time I read your email to just absorb it all and to think about what you said. I think that when I saw myself, I just did not recognize me in the mirror. That was scary and the fact that I did not recognize myself was the thing I did not like (meaning I said I did not like what I saw). I don't think that in my case it had nothing to do with what I was wearing or how I dress because I am still conservative (Robynn can vouch for that). It was just plane old scary and unrealistic that I did not recognize myself. Never did I thought that would happen. I am better as I realize that this is just one of those part of the journey that I have to adjust to. I appreciate your thoughts and comments on my scary moment and don't ever think for a minute that you can't respond to something that I say and I will be offended. I have learned that possibly...just possibly if it offends you or makes you feel slightly different then chances are there just might be some truth to what is being said. So you have to be real with yourself and grow...you know what I am saying. Have a great day! Pam Marsh --- snickers_95203@... wrote: > WOw Laurie, that was really deep and made so much > sense. > Cecilia > > --- Donna Jordon wrote: > > > Laurie > > Both of you explanations made sense. Take care. > > > Donna > > > > LLLORY@... wrote: > > I decided that I did a pretty bad job of getting > > my > > thoughts across on your scary moment, Pam, so I > > thought I would try again. I may be totally > wrong, > > but here is my take on things. > > All of us have a set of values and self > perceptions. > > > > The way we see ourselves, what we are all > > about...how > > we define ourselves. Wife, mother, christian, > > homemaker, employee of the month...whatever. We > > attach those characteristics, I think, to our > > physical > > selves. So when we see ourselves, our brains > > say...christian mother, pto member, loving wife, > or > > whatever. What we are on the outside and who we > are > > on the inside are attached somehow, I think. > > Now, we go and lose a ton of weight, and maybe we > > see > > a better, healthier version of ourselves...maybe. > > We > > feel better about ourselves. Change up our > makeup, > > our wardrobes, our hair, gain a new sense of > style. > > Then we're walking in the mall one day, and catch > a > > glimpse from the corner of our eye of...of > > ourselves. > > You know it's you, you know you have lost weight, > > cut/colored your hair, got a spiffy new black > > leather > > jacket (ok, that's me, LOL), but the image > reflected > > back at us is no longer the one we attached our > > inner > > selves to. It no longer looks like the image we > > associated for so many years with who we > are...wife, > > mom, employee of the month-whatever. And we > wonder, > > " what have I become? " We may see our new images > as > > someone with different values than we have carried > > all > > our lives. Is she vain? Self centered? A flirt? > > > Is > > she trustworthy? And that's scary. I think it > > takes > > time to intergrate our new outsides with our old > > insides. And our new insides with our old > insides! > > Is it ok for me to be this concerned with my > > appearance? Does the fact that I dress this way > > make > > me different from who I was? From who I want to > be? > > > > I think it takes time to " make peace " mentally > with > > what we have become. > > I hope this makes more sense, and I apologize if > I'm > > off base or rambling like a woman on drugs. LOL > > > > Best, > > Laurie > > > > __________________________________________________ > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 31, 2006 Report Share Posted January 31, 2006 Hi Pam, I'm glad it was just a not recognizing yourself thing. For me personally, I knew I would have head issues with weight loss. I have been obese since around age 8. I do not know what it is like to be normal sized as an adult. I spent lots of time pre-op thinking about this issue, but I don't think you can completely " get there " till you get there. So it's something I'm working on. Laurie __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 31, 2006 Report Share Posted January 31, 2006 Hi Pam, I'm glad it was just a not recognizing yourself thing. For me personally, I knew I would have head issues with weight loss. I have been obese since around age 8. I do not know what it is like to be normal sized as an adult. I spent lots of time pre-op thinking about this issue, but I don't think you can completely " get there " till you get there. So it's something I'm working on. Laurie __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 1, 2006 Report Share Posted February 1, 2006 Hey Laurie, glad to hear from you! I think the tables are opposite for me. I did not have weight issues until I turned 22 (post my first child) but even then I was able to loose a great deal of the baby weight. When I got pregnant with my second child, I had diabetes (just like I did with my first child - gestational) but this time I had to take insulin shots. After I gave birth it went away (the diabetes that is). But the struggle to lose weight and keep it off was horrible. My weight kept soring and then I would lose and then gain until I ended up at 250. I was overweight/fat/obsese or whatever you want to call it for 14 years. You are going to be like a friend of mines that had this surgery. She was always overweight and now she is just like a kid in a toy store (see my thought process is sort of different now. I almost said candy store-yeah for me!!!). She never could ride on roller coasters and had issues with the airplane and just a whole lot of other stuff. Now she is determined to make up for lost time. She goes and rides roller coasters and I mean over and over again. She take flights without complications (fits in the seat with room). She goes a lot of places and does a lot of things and I am so proud of her. This is truly a journey and a journey that I can say I am glad...extremely glad I decided to take and am on. We will all ultimately get to our destination if we just hang in there and fight the good fight. We owe it to ourselves and more importantly, we deserve it. Have a great day! PS: I am adjusting to my new hair cut and the new me (yeah!!!). Pam Marsh --- LLLORY@... wrote: > Hi Pam, > I'm glad it was just a not recognizing yourself > thing. > For me personally, I knew I would have head issues > with weight loss. I have been obese since around > age > 8. I do not know what it is like to be normal sized > as an adult. I spent lots of time pre-op thinking > about this issue, but I don't think you can > completely > " get there " till you get there. So it's something > I'm > working on. > Laurie > > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 1, 2006 Report Share Posted February 1, 2006 Hey Laurie, glad to hear from you! I think the tables are opposite for me. I did not have weight issues until I turned 22 (post my first child) but even then I was able to loose a great deal of the baby weight. When I got pregnant with my second child, I had diabetes (just like I did with my first child - gestational) but this time I had to take insulin shots. After I gave birth it went away (the diabetes that is). But the struggle to lose weight and keep it off was horrible. My weight kept soring and then I would lose and then gain until I ended up at 250. I was overweight/fat/obsese or whatever you want to call it for 14 years. You are going to be like a friend of mines that had this surgery. She was always overweight and now she is just like a kid in a toy store (see my thought process is sort of different now. I almost said candy store-yeah for me!!!). She never could ride on roller coasters and had issues with the airplane and just a whole lot of other stuff. Now she is determined to make up for lost time. She goes and rides roller coasters and I mean over and over again. She take flights without complications (fits in the seat with room). She goes a lot of places and does a lot of things and I am so proud of her. This is truly a journey and a journey that I can say I am glad...extremely glad I decided to take and am on. We will all ultimately get to our destination if we just hang in there and fight the good fight. We owe it to ourselves and more importantly, we deserve it. Have a great day! PS: I am adjusting to my new hair cut and the new me (yeah!!!). Pam Marsh --- LLLORY@... wrote: > Hi Pam, > I'm glad it was just a not recognizing yourself > thing. > For me personally, I knew I would have head issues > with weight loss. I have been obese since around > age > 8. I do not know what it is like to be normal sized > as an adult. I spent lots of time pre-op thinking > about this issue, but I don't think you can > completely > " get there " till you get there. So it's something > I'm > working on. > Laurie > > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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