Re: Top 8 morons-- and maybe just one more

[Guest guest]

When my youngest son, now about to turn 17 was three he asked me

during one pleasant afternoon drive in the country; Daddy, why do you

always say, the world is full of stinking morons? Without thinking,

and to my almost imediate regret I responded, because when I used to

say the world is full of F'n morons your Mommy would smack me across

the back of the head.

Nano seconds later a familiar, and angry hand reached over the back of

the car seat and nearly knocked me through the front windshield. Once

I had stopped laughing, and could see to drive again I quietly

admonished my son about the vulgarity of the word I had used, and the

impending vulgarity of the words Mommy was going to be using later in

Daddy's room after the wide eyed boy had gone to bed......

So perhaps there is at least one more moron in the world than I had

originaly suspected. Anyway, thanks for reminding me of that

afternoon, you gave me a good laugh! Scary though that its always the

stupid things people do that reminds me of my past...............hmmmm

Keep smiling

Stu

>

>

> TOP 8 MORONS

>

>

>

>

>

> 1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP? AT & T fired President

Walter

> after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He

received a $26

> million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking

> intelligence.

>

>

>

> 2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS: Police in Oakland, CA spent

two

> hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself

inside his home.

> After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the

man was

> standing beside them in the police line, shouting, " Please come out

and give

> yourself up. "

>

>

> 3. WHAT WAS PLAN B??? An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun,

kidnapped

> a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller

> machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from

his own bank

> accounts.

>

> 4. THE GETAWAY! A man walked into a Topeka , Kansas Kwik Stop

and asked

> for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too

small, so

> he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three

hours

> until police showed up and grabbed him.

>

> 5. DID I SAY THAT??? Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a

robbery

> suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When

detectives

> asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: " Give me all your

money or

> I'll shoot " , the man

>

> shouted, " that's not what I said! "

>

>

> 6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING??? A man spoke frantically into the

phone: " My

> wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart " .

" Is this her

> first child? " the doctor asked. " No! " the man shouted, " This is her

> husband! "

>

>

>

> 7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED! In Modesto , CA ,

King

> was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a

> weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun.

Unfortunately, he

> failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo)!

>

> 8. THE GRAND FINALE!!! Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located

in the

> high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to

boating, were

> having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get

their

> brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost

every maneuver,

> no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of

trying to make

> it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may

be able

> to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed

everything in

> perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out-drive went

up and

> down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of

the marina

> guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking

on water,

> he was laughing so hard.

> NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE.

> Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ************************************** Get a sneak peek of the

all-new AOL at

> http://discover.aol.com/memed/aolcom30tour

>

[Guest guest]

Stu, you can always make me laugh out loud! Lizzy must be a saint.

Ramblin' Rose

Moderator

A merry heart is good medicine. Proverbs 17:22

It’s the Windows Live™ Hotmail® you love — on your phone!

[Guest guest]

too bad her Mom has passed into Gods hands, she could have given you

chapter and verse on Saint Lizzy.....................but I would have

advised you against askin about sinner stu, you dont have the time my

friend, you dont have the time.......LOL

[Guest guest]

too bad her Mom has passed into Gods hands, she could have given you

chapter and verse on Saint Lizzy.....................but I would have

advised you against askin about sinner stu, you dont have the time my

friend, you dont have the time.......LOL