RE: Re: Getting my son into college *****Long response

October 4, 2007

Hi guys, I have 3 boys too. The oldest (22) just graduated from Keene State College in NH with a bachelor's degree in environmental science. Believe me, it wasn't easy getting him thru , he loved school , but I had to do all the paperwork & loan stuff and push him thru all the deadlines, etc. for admissions, rooming, financial aid follow-up, etc. He went back to his summer job in May supposedly just for the summer until he found something else. (Its a mosquito control company where they spray for mosquitos, since we have a lot of triple EEE diseases that could be contracted thru mosquitos up here in this area.) After school , he was made a supervisor but still out in the fieldwork, but makes a lot of overtime (big $$$). Of course when the late fall, winter rolls around his hours go way down and he's in the office and doesn't make half as much. Now reality is hitting him and doesn't know

what to do. He hasn't looked for any other jobs and I have been constantly pushing since summer to send out resumes. After 4 years of college in an environmental degree there are a lot of jobs out there nowadays that would apply to his field. I kinda feel like he could do so much better after all the $$$ on schooling, etc. My second son(19) just started his second year for an associates degree at a regional Tech. College for an Auto Tech. (He works part-time and during the summer at a Auto dealership.) Well, I have had to push thru all the same stuff with him and this year he didn't want to go back and finish . He just wanted to work. After a year of $$$ with him, again it was frustrating. He threatened to move out too, but we told go ahead , but he didn't. I did manage to talk him into going back reluctantly even still working part-time at the dealership. The third son is a Junior in high school

and just started part-time regular school and part-time at the Technical high school for welding. He hates school already. He is 16 and of course (thru prior experience with the other two) all he thinks about is his car, friends and hanging out. Am I going to have to go thru all the same with him after high school? He does have ADD and learning disabilities so don't know whether to push him or not , but want him to have the same opportunities as the older two. ANYWAY, I have found, , that this age 16-18 is a stage where they are trying out their independence and think they can do anything they want. I know , it is a very frustrating time!!!! I have always tried to keep close tabs on them, where they go, who with, nightly curfews when they were younger.....but you never know , my husband says you gotta give him the chance to trust them. They never got into any trouble

(that I know of anyway, lol)) Resulting with the older boys, I guess I gotta let go and let them make their own descisions and if they make mistakes, let them learn thru them. It's very hard to watch when you want them to end up being successful and happy. Sorry for such a LONG post, but believe me , I know where you are coming from and be lucky you just have ONE! LOL Debbie T. Co-Moderator Marla Bramer wrote: That’s ok , I’ve many fights with my kids, esp. the boys, esp the oldest now 22, in fact he thinks he can tell me what he thinks about things in my life, such as when he asked to carry the items from my van into the house, he’ll say “Do you really need another purse?” learned this from his Dad, I say, it’s none of your business I certainly do not need two (now three) adult males in this house telling me what to do. My oldest told us when he was 17 that he was going to move out, his Dad said OK fine, but you can only take the clothes on our back, and that is being

generous, considering we paid for everything else, so no car, no cell phone, no etc……… well guess what he didn’t move out after all! The things they forget when they think they are adults, lol. Marla From: Neurosarcoidosis [mailto:Neurosarcoidosis ] On Behalf

Of topdat@...Sent: Sunday, September 30, 2007 8:19 AMTo: Neurosarcoidosis Subject: Re: Re: Getting my son into college Its helped me Marla a lot.. I have a senior in high school that wants to be grown and do things beyond his experience. Well, I've just come to the conclusion that I'm gonna let him.. but, that comes with keeping his own laundry, his own food, and taking his own dog outside. He needed a mom when he was 5,

he's 17 not exactly what I think makes a man, but he thinks otherwise, if college is in his future then so be it.. he's always wanted to go but also always wanted to play more than study. We shall see.. At 18 he's going somewhere, does it show we had a fight last night???? RE: Re: Getting my son into college This is just my 2 cents, I have a son who just finished high school in May, well when he was in 9th, 10th, and so on, I kept telling him he needed to keep his grades up to get into college, he is a smart kid but got lazy one year, maybe 10th, anyway he missed getting into college here local by 1 point, now he is doing his first year at Jr. College and has to keep his grades up and be full time then he can transfer into College at

semester or next year, I think that now he wishes he would of listen, although he is saving a ton of money by taking these classes at a Jr. College instead of university. I guess my point is that we some times need to let them deal with their actions or lack of. My older son is still home and not doing much, he has some mental health issues but I’ve been told I am an enabler, and need to back out of the role, so guess I wasn’t with the 2nd one and he is

figuring it out for himself, does this make any sense. I guess don’t make yourself crazy over it, if he wants to go he will make it happen, myself like you was on my own for college too, being one of 6, my parents were just happy when we graduated from high school, college was up to me. I too was moved out living on my own working full time going to night school. So sometimes I think we make life too easy for them J I hope that helps?? Marla From: Neurosarcoidosis [mailto:Neurosarcoidosis ] On Behalf Of kathy_ceamooreSent: Friday, September 28, 2007 3:13 PMTo: Neurosarcoidosis Subject: Re: Getting my son into college >> Hello All,> > This is so off topic from what is being discussed in group, but I wanted to find out if anyone else has gone through or is currently going through this. My son is a senior in high school. This kid is BRILLIANT but besides getting good grades, he is not doing anything to actually get into college. To get him to simply give me his choices of schools, was like an act of Congress. I give him tasks to complete with deadlines and he doesn't follow through. Now, I know teenagers can be flaky, so I don't give him too much instruction at once. But GOOD GRIEF this kid hasn't completed anything I have asked him to do. I'm not exaggerating, nothing! I am allowing this kid to seriously stress me out. >

> When I graduated from high school, I got myself into college and found my own apartment off campus and got myself a job to pay for it all. I didn't depend on my parents to get anything done for me. Well, as the oldest of five children, my mother had already told me that if I wanted to get into school, I better do it by myself cuz they had no money for me for school and she had to deal with the rest of my siblings (one of whom was in drug rehab at the time).> > Anywhoooo...> > I'm just so angry right now because he missed a deadline to schedule all the prospective college's open house dates and put them on the calendar, so I went and did it. Am I enabling him by doing all the leg work when he doesn't? I don't know. He says he wants to go to college, but Geez...> > If I don't get a response about this, I'm thankful that I at least was able to vent my frustration. Cuz seriously, if I have

to deal with his attitude for another millisecond, Imma have to pick up something blunt and rusty and do some damage.> > Naa Koshie> > > "How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these." > > ~ Washington Carver>Dear Naa,Your son sounds like my older brother-He was out of high school for more than three years before he decided to go to colledge. It took him more than four months to decide on a colledge (He choose one close to home) And than when he got in, He flunked out in the first semester. Mabe some people are just chronic underachievers. I hope this is not true of your son and that he will wake up and understand that this could effect the rest of his life. We're Praying for you and for

him, Good Luck. size=2 width="100%" align=center> No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.5.488 / Virus Database: 269.13.35/1039 - Release Date: 9/29/2007 9:46 PM

Moody friends. Drama queens. Your life? Nope! - their life, your story. Play Sims Stories at Yahoo! Games.

October 4, 2007

Hi Debbie, I appreciate so much you sharing with me your experiences with your 3 sons my goodness, I can

't imagine..How do you let go? and do you believe that 17 is too early to let go.. I made Damian do his laundry on Sunday, not only wash but the whole deal, dry and fold.. also, I haven't cooked a meal.. if he's hungry I figure he needs to see that one needs to move from the xbox to the kitchen and make yourself something.. I'm not doing it to be mean. just to let him know that its not all, "Doing what I want"

Hugs,

RE: Re: Getting my son into college

This is just my 2 cents, I have a son who just finished high school in May, well when he was in 9th, 10th, and so on, I kept telling him he needed to keep his grades up to get into college, he is a smart kid but got lazy one year, maybe 10th, anyway he missed getting into college here local by 1 point, now he is doing his first year at Jr. College and has to keep his grades up and be full time then he can transfer into College at semester or next year, I think that now he wishes he would of listen, although he is saving a ton of money by taking these classes at a Jr. College instead of university.

I guess my point is that we some times need to let them deal with their actions or lack of.

My older son is still home and not doing much, he has some mental health issues but I’ve been told I am an enabler, and need to back out of the role, so guess I wasn’t with the 2nd one and he is figuring it out for himself, does this make any sense. I guess don’t make yourself crazy over it, if he wants to go he will make it happen, myself like you was on my own for college too, being one of 6, my parents were just happy when we graduated from high school, college was up to me. I too was moved out living on my own working full time going to night school. So sometimes I think we make life too easy for them J I hope that helps?? Marla

From: Neurosarcoidosis [mailto:Neurosarcoidosis ] On Behalf Of kathy_ceamooreSent: Friday, September 28, 2007 3:13 PMTo: Neurosarcoidosis Subject: Re: Getting my son into college

>> Hello All,> > This is so off topic from what is being discussed in group, but I wanted to find out if anyone else has gone through or is currently going through this. My son is a senior in high school. This kid is BRILLIANT but besides getting good grades, he is not doing anything to actually get into college. To get him to simply give me his choices of schools, was like an act of Congress. I give him tasks to complete with deadlines and he doesn't follow through. Now, I know teenagers can be flaky, so I don't give him too much instruction at once. But GOOD GRIEF this kid hasn't completed anything I have asked him to do. I'm not exaggerating, nothing! I am allowing this kid to seriously stress me out. > > When I graduated from high school, I got myself into college and found my own apartment off campus and got myself a job to pay for it all. I didn't depend on my parents to get anything done for me. Well, as the oldest of five children, my mother had already told me that if I wanted to get into school, I better do it by myself cuz they had no money for me for school and she had to deal with the rest of my siblings (one of whom was in drug rehab at the time).> > Anywhoooo...> > I'm just so angry right now because he missed a deadline to schedule all the prospective college's open house dates and put them on the calendar, so I went and did it. Am I enabling him by doing all the leg work when he doesn't? I don't know. He says he wants to go to college, but Geez...> > If I don't get a response about this, I'm thankful that I at least was able to vent my frustration. Cuz seriously, if I have to deal with his attitude for another millisecond, Imma have to pick up something blunt and rusty and do some damage.> > Naa Koshie> > > "How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these." > > ~ Washington Carver>Dear Naa,Your son sounds like my older brother-He was out of high school for more than three years before he decided to go to colledge. It took him more than four months to decide on a colledge (He choose one close to home) And than when he got in, He flunked out in the first semester. Mabe some people are just chronic underachievers. I hope this is not true of your son and that he will wake up and understand that this could effect the rest of his life. We're Praying for you and for him, Good Luck.

size=2 width="100%" align=center>

No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.5.488 / Virus Database: 269.13.35/1039 - Release Date: 9/29/2007 9:46 PM

Moody friends. Drama queens. Your life? Nope! - their life, your story.Play Sims Stories at Yahoo! Games.

No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.5.488 / Virus Database: 269.14.0/1048 - Release Date: 10/3/2007 8:22 PM

October 4, 2007

Oh

does this really kick me in the butt, I have a 22 year old living in my

basement, he is Bi Polar and other learning disabilities, but I think I use

those as an excuse, I need to do the same, he can at least do his own laundry,

but the dinner thing I have too many mouths to feed in this house, but I can

make him do his own laundry, my other son is 19 but is carrying a full time schedule

at college, then I have his friend an 18 year old, living with us, but same

thing full time schedule and his Dad pays me a little each month, but your words

really make me think, my 22 year old, not at school he did sign up but the

class was canceled for lack of interest, and no job, he is of course my “do

everything” person, he told his brother he was moving out because I am a

nag, oh well, reminds me I need to go down and nag some more as it’s

trash day and that too is his job! Thanks for the kick I needed it! Marla

From: Neurosarcoidosis [mailto:Neurosarcoidosis ] On Behalf Of topdat@...

Sent: Thursday, October 04, 2007

8:52 AM

To: Neurosarcoidosis

Subject: Re:

Re: Getting my son into college *****Long response

Hi Debbie, I appreciate so much you sharing with me your

experiences with your 3 sons my goodness, I can

't imagine..How do you let go? and do you believe that 17 is

too early to let go.. I made Damian do his laundry on Sunday, not only wash but

the whole deal, dry and fold.. also, I haven't cooked a meal.. if he's hungry I

figure he needs to see that one needs to move from the xbox to the kitchen and

make yourself something.. I'm not doing it to be mean. just to let him know

that its not all, " Doing what I want "

Hugs,

Re:

Getting my son into college

>

> Hello All,

>

> This is so off topic from what is being discussed in group, but I wanted

to find out if

anyone else has gone through or is currently going through this. My son is a

senior in high

school. This kid is BRILLIANT but besides getting good grades, he is not doing

anything to

actually get into college. To get him to simply give me his choices of schools,

was like an

act of Congress. I give him tasks to complete with deadlines and he doesn't

follow

through. Now, I know teenagers can be flaky, so I don't give him too much

instruction at

once. But GOOD GRIEF this kid hasn't completed anything I have asked him to do.

I'm not

exaggerating, nothing! I am allowing this kid to seriously stress me out.

>

> When I graduated from high school, I got myself into college and found my

own

apartment off campus and got myself a job to pay for it all. I didn't depend on

my parents

to get anything done for me. Well, as the oldest of five children, my mother

had already

told me that if I wanted to get into school, I better do it by myself cuz they

had no money

for me for school and she had to deal with the rest of my siblings (one of whom

was in

drug rehab at the time).

>

> Anywhoooo...

>

> I'm just so angry right now because he missed a deadline to schedule all

the prospective

college's open house dates and put them on the calendar, so I went and did it.

Am I

enabling him by doing all the leg work when he doesn't? I don't know. He says

he wants to

go to college, but Geez...

>

> If I don't get a response about this, I'm thankful that I at least was

able to vent my

frustration. Cuz seriously, if I have to deal with his attitude for another

millisecond, Imma

have to pick up something blunt and rusty and do some damage.

>

> Naa Koshie

>

> " How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young,

compassionate

with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and the

strong.

Because someday in life you will have been all of these. "

>

> ~ Washington Carver

>

Dear Naa,

Your son sounds like my older brother-He was out of high school for more than

three

years before he decided to go to colledge. It took him more than four months to

decide on

a colledge (He choose one close to home) And than when he got in, He flunked

out in the

first semester. Mabe some people are just chronic underachievers. I hope this

is not true

of your son and that he will wake up and understand that this could effect the

rest of his

life. We're Praying for you and for him, Good Luck.

size=2 width= " 100% "

align=center>

No virus found in this incoming message.

Checked by AVG Free Edition.

Version: 7.5.488 / Virus Database: 269.13.35/1039 - Release Date: 9/29/2007

9:46 PM

Moody friends. Drama queens. Your life? Nope! - their life, your story.

Play Sims

Stories at Yahoo! Games.

size=2 width="100%" align=center>

No virus found in this incoming message.

Checked by AVG Free Edition.

Version: 7.5.488 / Virus Database: 269.14.0/1048 - Release Date: 10/3/2007 8:22

PM

October 4, 2007

"I know that's right!!" That's what I yelled out after reading some of the posts about our children and the struggles. I've really benefited and have been humbled by the stories you guys have shared. I know it was not solely for my benefit and some were ranting about their challenges in their households, but hearing what others are going through in their lives have made me count my blessings in some areas and step it up in others and let some other things go. It's funny how we are different people with similar issues. I was cracking up after reading 's post about Damian and his laundry because on Tuesday I turned off the air

conditioner even though its still 85 degrees outside and I was assaulted by the dirty clothes stench coming from my son's room. Just disgusting!! I guess the air conditioning masked some of the smell but when I turned it off... OMG - PYEW!! I could smell the funk down the hall!! I closed down the kitchen until he washed the clothes. No food at all. And you know that's the first place they go when they come home. He takes it for granted that there will be plenty of food to eat and hot meals on the table, I should be able to take it for granted that he doesn't keep smelly gross jeans in the middle of the floor with gym shorts and boxers and socks still stuck in them from when he took them off (of course this is me eating wish sandwiches again).But anyway, just wanted to say thank you all for sharing

your experiences and pain. I hope I can help someone else the way this group has impacted me.Naa KoshieMarla Bramer wrote: Oh does this really kick me in the butt, I have a 22 year old living in my

basement, he is Bi Polar and other learning disabilities, but I think I use those as an excuse, I need to do the same, he can at least do his own laundry, but the dinner thing I have too many mouths to feed in this house, but I can make him do his own laundry, my other son is 19 but is carrying a full time schedule at college, then I have his friend an 18 year old, living with us, but same thing full time schedule and his Dad pays me a little each month, but your words really make me think, my 22 year old, not at school he did sign up but the class was canceled for lack of interest, and no job, he is of course my “do everything” person, he told his brother he was moving out because I am a nag, oh well, reminds me I need to go down and nag some more as it’s trash day and that too is his job! Thanks for the kick I needed it! Marla From: Neurosarcoidosis [mailto:Neurosarcoidosis ] On Behalf Of topdat (AT) bellsouth (DOT) net Sent: Thursday, October 04, 2007 8:52 AM To: Neurosarcoidosis Subject: Re: Re: Getting my son into college *****Long response Hi Debbie, I appreciate so much you sharing with me your experiences with your 3 sons my goodness, I can 't imagine..How do you let go? and do you believe that 17 is too early to let go.. I made Damian do his laundry on Sunday, not only wash but the whole deal, dry and fold.. also, I haven't cooked a meal.. if he's hungry I figure he needs to see that one needs to move from the xbox to the

kitchen and make yourself something.. I'm not doing it to be mean. just to let him know that its not all, "Doing what I want" Hugs, Re: Getting my son into college > > Hello All, > > This is so off topic from what is being discussed in group, but I wanted to find out if anyone else has gone through or is currently going through this. My son is a senior in high school. This kid is BRILLIANT but besides getting good grades, he is not doing anything to actually get into college. To get him to simply give me his choices of schools, was like an act of Congress. I give him tasks to complete with deadlines and he doesn't follow through. Now, I know teenagers can be flaky, so I don't give him too much instruction at once. But GOOD GRIEF this kid hasn't completed anything I have asked him to do. I'm not

exaggerating, nothing! I am allowing this kid to seriously stress me out. > > When I graduated from high school, I got myself into college and found my own apartment off campus and got myself a job to pay for it all. I didn't depend on my parents to get anything done for me. Well, as the oldest of five children, my mother had already told me that if I wanted to get into school, I better do it by myself cuz they had no money for me for school and she had to deal with the rest of my siblings (one of whom was in drug rehab at the time). > > Anywhoooo... > > I'm just so angry right now because he missed a deadline to schedule all the prospective college's open house dates and put them on the calendar, so I went and did it. Am I enabling him by doing all the leg work when he doesn't? I don't know. He says he wants to go to college, but Geez... > > If I don't get a response about

this, I'm thankful that I at least was able to vent my frustration. Cuz seriously, if I have to deal with his attitude for another millisecond, Imma have to pick up something blunt and rusty and do some damage. > > Naa Koshie > > > "How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these." > > ~ Washington Carver > Dear Naa, Your son sounds like my older brother-He was out of high school for more than three years before he decided to go to colledge. It took him more than four months to decide on a colledge (He choose one close to home) And than when he got in, He flunked out in the first semester. Mabe some people are just chronic underachievers. I hope this is not true of your son

and that he will wake up and understand that this could effect the rest of his life. We're Praying for you and for him, Good Luck. size=2 width="100%" align=center> No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.5.488 / Virus Database: 269.13.35/1039 - Release Date: 9/29/2007 9:46 PM Moody friends. Drama queens. Your life? Nope! - their life, your story. Play Sims Stories at Yahoo! Games. size=2 width="100%" align=center> No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.5.488 / Virus Database: 269.14.0/1048 - Release Date: 10/3/2007 8:22 PM "How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and

tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these." ~ Washington Carver

October 4, 2007

Here is a cartoon that is perfect for the trust issue. I altered it to send to my daughter, who's having lots of challenges with 13yo . I'll also put it in the Photos section, under a new album, "Cartoons."

Ramblin' RoseModerator A merry heart is good medicine. Proverbs 17:22

"I know that's right!!" Peek-a-boo FREE Tricks Treats for You! Get 'em!

October 4, 2007

Marla.. I can't help but laugh out loud..Please don't get into a big argument on my account.. Damian had a different tune though since the dryer/fold incident.. But, that's the one thing that I'm gonna continue, he did occasionally put clothes in the wash.. but would never follow through with them.. So, he needs to know the remaining steps to laundry.. And yes, it is a lot easier to not cook with just him and me, good luck with your son..

Hugs,

RE: Re: Getting my son into college

This is just my 2 cents, I have a son who just finished high school in May, well when he was in 9th, 10th, and so on, I kept telling him he needed to keep his grades up to get into college, he is a smart kid but got lazy one year, maybe 10th, anyway he missed getting into college here local by 1 point, now he is doing his first year at Jr. College and has to keep his grades up and be full time then he can transfer into College at semester or next year, I think that now he wishes he would of listen, although he is saving a ton of money by taking these classes at a Jr. College instead of university.

I guess my point is that we some times need to let them deal with their actions or lack of.

My older son is still home and not doing much, he has some mental health issues but I’ve been told I am an enabler, and need to back out of the role, so guess I wasn’t with the 2nd one and he is figuring it out for himself, does this make any sense. I guess don’t make yourself crazy over it, if he wants to go he will make it happen, myself like you was on my own for college too, being one of 6, my parents were just happy when we graduated from high school, college was up to me. I too was moved out living on my own working full time going to night school. So sometimes I think we make life too easy for them J I hope that helps?? Marla

From: Neurosarcoidosis [mailto:Neurosarcoidosis ] On Behalf Of kathy_ceamooreSent: Friday, September 28, 2007 3:13 PMTo: Neurosarcoidosis Subject: Re: Getting my son into college

>> Hello All,> > This is so off topic from what is being discussed in group, but I wanted to find out if anyone else has gone through or is currently going through this. My son is a senior in high school. This kid is BRILLIANT but besides getting good grades, he is not doing anything to actually get into college. To get him to simply give me his choices of schools, was like an act of Congress. I give him tasks to complete with deadlines and he doesn't follow through. Now, I know teenagers can be flaky, so I don't give him too much instruction at once. But GOOD GRIEF this kid hasn't completed anything I have asked him to do. I'm not exaggerating, nothing! I am allowing this kid to seriously stress me out. > > When I graduated from high school, I got myself into college and found my own apartment off campus and got myself a job to pay for it all. I didn't depend on my parents to get anything done for me. Well, as the oldest of five children, my mother had already told me that if I wanted to get into school, I better do it by myself cuz they had no money for me for school and she had to deal with the rest of my siblings (one of whom was in drug rehab at the time).> > Anywhoooo...> > I'm just so angry right now because he missed a deadline to schedule all the prospective college's open house dates and put them on the calendar, so I went and did it. Am I enabling him by doing all the leg work when he doesn't? I don't know. He says he wants to go to college, but Geez...> > If I don't get a response about this, I'm thankful that I at least was able to vent my frustration. Cuz seriously, if I have to deal with his attitude for another millisecond, Imma have to pick up something blunt and rusty and do some damage.> > Naa Koshie> > > "How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these." > > ~ Washington Carver>Dear Naa,Your son sounds like my older brother-He was out of high school for more than three years before he decided to go to colledge. It took him more than four months to decide on a colledge (He choose one close to home) And than when he got in, He flunked out in the first semester. Mabe some people are just chronic underachievers. I hope this is not true of your son and that he will wake up and understand that this could effect the rest of his life. We're Praying for you and for him, Good Luck.

size=2 width="100%" align=center>

No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.5.488 / Virus Database: 269.13.35/1039 - Release Date: 9/29/2007 9:46 PM

Moody friends. Drama queens. Your life? Nope! - their life, your story.Play Sims Stories at Yahoo! Games.

size=2 width="100%" align=center>

No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.5.488 / Virus Database: 269.14.0/1048 - Release Date: 10/3/2007 8:22 PM

October 4, 2007

Naa Koshie, you've made me laugh too.. Make that big boy get those nasty clothes at least to the hamper.. one step at a time.. I can't pick up my own clothes off the floor that's why I put them in the dirty clothes basket, so why should I pick up his? Thanks for your post.. its made me giggle.. Sounds like son may have a soon awakening... ???

Hugs,

RE: Re: Getting my son into college

This is just my 2 cents, I have a son who just finished high school in May, well when he was in 9th, 10th, and so on, I kept telling him he needed to keep his grades up to get into college, he is a smart kid but got lazy one year, maybe 10th, anyway he missed getting into college here local by 1 point, now he is doing his first year at Jr. College and has to keep his grades up and be full time then he can transfer into College at semester or next year, I think that now he wishes he would of listen, although he is saving a ton of money by taking these classes at a Jr. College instead of university.

I guess my point is that we some times need to let them deal with their actions or lack of.

My older son is still home and not doing much, he has some mental health issues but I’ve been told I am an enabler, and need to back out of the role, so guess I wasn’t with the 2nd one and he is figuring it out for himself, does this make any sense. I guess don’t make yourself crazy over it, if he wants to go he will make it happen, myself like you was on my own for college too, being one of 6, my parents were just happy when we graduated from high school, college was up to me. I too was moved out living on my own working full time going to night school. So sometimes I think we make life too easy for them J I hope that helps?? Marla

From: Neurosarcoidosis [mailto:Neurosarcoidosis ] On Behalf Of kathy_ceamooreSent: Friday, September 28, 2007 3:13 PMTo: Neurosarcoidosis Subject: Re: Getting my son into college

>> Hello All,> > This is so off topic from what is being discussed in group, but I wanted to find out if anyone else has gone through or is currently going through this. My son is a senior in high school. This kid is BRILLIANT but besides getting good grades, he is not doing anything to actually get into college. To get him to simply give me his choices of schools, was like an act of Congress. I give him tasks to complete with deadlines and he doesn't follow through. Now, I know teenagers can be flaky, so I don't give him too much instruction at once. But GOOD GRIEF this kid hasn't completed anything I have asked him to do. I'm not exaggerating, nothing! I am allowing this kid to seriously stress me out. > > When I graduated from high school, I got myself into college and found my own apartment off campus and got myself a job to pay for it all. I didn't depend on my parents to get anything done for me. Well, as the oldest of five children, my mother had already told me that if I wanted to get into school, I better do it by myself cuz they had no money for me for school and she had to deal with the rest of my siblings (one of whom was in drug rehab at the time).> > Anywhoooo...> > I'm just so angry right now because he missed a deadline to schedule all the prospective college's open house dates and put them on the calendar, so I went and did it. Am I enabling him by doing all the leg work when he doesn't? I don't know. He says he wants to go to college, but Geez...> > If I don't get a response about this, I'm thankful that I at least was able to vent my frustration. Cuz seriously, if I have to deal with his attitude for another millisecond, Imma have to pick up something blunt and rusty and do some damage.> > Naa Koshie> > > "How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these." > > ~ Washington Carver>Dear Naa,Your son sounds like my older brother-He was out of high school for more than three years before he decided to go to colledge. It took him more than four months to decide on a colledge (He choose one close to home) And than when he got in, He flunked out in the first semester. Mabe some people are just chronic underachievers. I hope this is not true of your son and that he will wake up and understand that this could effect the rest of his life. We're Praying for you and for him, Good Luck.

size=2 width="100%" align=center>

No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.5.488 / Virus Database: 269.13.35/1039 - Release Date: 9/29/2007 9:46 PM

Moody friends. Drama queens. Your life? Nope! - their life, your story.Play Sims Stories at Yahoo! Games.

size=2 width="100%" align=center>

No virus ound in this incoming message.Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.5.488 / Virus Database: 269.14.0/1048 - Release Date: 10/3/2007 8:22 PM

"How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these."

~ Washington Carver

No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.5.488 / Virus Database: 269.14.0/1048 - Release Date: 10/3/2007 8:22 PM

October 6, 2007

Hi , I find it very hard to let go, that's what I have been told. I still do some of the oldest's laundry and pay his bills after he gives me the money! This year since he graduated college, I have been making a sincere effort in having do things for himself and boy, is he surprised by this "rude awakening" from Mom! But it's time. I believe 17 is too young to let go. He's still under 18 . Yes, I have them all do chores (its like pulling teeth!) , but giving them too much freedom sometimes leads to trouble. I have them report in and make sure what they are doing. Also, as I said I still give them curfews under age 18. About living with their own father , (the first two are my ex's) , I really didn't want them to go that far because he is such an irresponsible freeloader that doesn't work . I wouldn't want them to follow in his

footsteps by influencing them. I don't cook either, lol. My husband does most of it, I hate it. But usually the oldest two fend for themselves. Only the youngest one (16) stays home for dinner. So that's what goes on in our house....topdat@... wrote: Hi Debbie, I appreciate so much you sharing with me your experiences with your 3 sons my goodness, I can 't imagine..How do you let go? and do you believe that 17 is too early to let go.. I made Damian do his laundry on Sunday, not only wash but the whole deal, dry and fold.. also, I haven't cooked a meal.. if he's hungry I figure he needs to see that one needs to move from the xbox to the kitchen and make

yourself something.. I'm not doing it to be mean. just to let him know that its not all, "Doing what I want" Hugs, RE: Re: Getting my son into college This is just my 2 cents, I have a son who just

finished high school in May, well when he was in 9th, 10th, and so on, I kept telling him he needed to keep his grades up to get into college, he is a smart kid but got lazy one year, maybe 10th, anyway he missed getting into college here local by 1 point, now he is doing his first year at Jr. College and has to keep his grades up and be full time then he can transfer into College at semester or next year, I think that now he wishes he would of listen, although he is saving a ton of money by taking these classes at a Jr. College instead of university. I guess my point is that we some times need to let them deal with their actions or lack of. My older son is still home and not doing much, he has some mental health issues but I’ve been told I am an enabler, and need to back out of the role, so guess I wasn’t with the 2nd one and he is figuring it out for himself, does this make any sense. I guess don’t make yourself crazy over it, if he wants to go he will make it happen, myself like you was on my own for college too, being one of 6, my parents were just happy when we graduated from high school, college was up to me. I too was moved out living on my own working full time going to night school. So sometimes I think we make life too easy for them J I hope that helps??

Marla From: Neurosarcoidosis [mailto:Neurosarcoidosis ] On Behalf Of kathy_ceamooreSent: Friday, September 28, 2007 3:13 PMTo: Neurosarcoidosis Subject: Re: Getting my son into college >> Hello All,> > This is so off topic from what is being discussed in group, but I wanted to find out if anyone else has gone through or is currently going through this. My son is a senior in high school. This kid is BRILLIANT but besides getting good grades, he is not doing anything to actually get into college. To get him to simply give me his choices of schools, was like an act of Congress. I give him tasks to complete with deadlines and he doesn't follow through. Now, I know teenagers can be flaky, so

I don't give him too much instruction at once. But GOOD GRIEF this kid hasn't completed anything I have asked him to do. I'm not exaggerating, nothing! I am allowing this kid to seriously stress me out. > > When I graduated from high school, I got myself into college and found my own apartment off campus and got myself a job to pay for it all. I didn't depend on my parents to get anything done for me. Well, as the oldest of five children, my mother had already told me that if I wanted to get into school, I better do it by myself cuz they had no money for me for school and she had to deal with the rest of my siblings (one of whom was in drug rehab at the time).> > Anywhoooo...> > I'm just so angry right now because he missed a deadline to schedule all the prospective college's open house dates and put them on the calendar, so I went and did it. Am I enabling him by doing all the leg work when he

doesn't? I don't know. He says he wants to go to college, but Geez...> > If I don't get a response about this, I'm thankful that I at least was able to vent my frustration. Cuz seriously, if I have to deal with his attitude for another millisecond, Imma have to pick up something blunt and rusty and do some damage.> > Naa Koshie> > > "How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these." > > ~ Washington Carver>Dear Naa,Your son sounds like my older brother-He was out of high school for more than three years before he decided to go to colledge. It took him more than four months to decide on a colledge (He choose one close to home) And than when he got in, He flunked out in the

first semester. Mabe some people are just chronic underachievers. I hope this is not true of your son and that he will wake up and understand that this could effect the rest of his life. We're Praying for you and for him, Good Luck. size=2 width="100%" align=center> No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.5.488 / Virus Database: 269.13.35/1039 - Release Date: 9/29/2007 9:46 PM Moody friends. Drama queens. Your life? Nope! - their life, your story.Play Sims Stories at Yahoo! Games. No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.5.488 / Virus Database: 269.14.0/1048 - Release Date: 10/3/2007 8:22 PM

Shape Yahoo! in your own image. Join our Network Research Panel today!

October 6, 2007