Re: having a very bad physical and mental day.

[Guest guest]

Hi Judy:

I'm new to the group but not to autoimmune disorders and I was diagnosed with Terminal Neurosarcoidosis about 2 years ago. Believe me I understand exactly how you feel. Sometimes I just want to get into a corner and sit and cry until I can't cry anymore. It really sucks to be this sick. Unfortuneatly we really don't have a choice but to deal with it. Sometimes I get so angry at it I just want to scream and I have asked God why did I have to have something more, I already have so many.

It does get depressing at times and seems hopeless but you are not alone Judy we are all here for you and we all know what you're going through and how you feel because we are going through it. That doesn't help much when you're going through a crisis though. I don't know what kind of phone service you have I have unlimited and can call anywhere. I was on a Lupus suppost group that disbanded a couple of years ago and there are four of us that still keep in contact by phone and one of the girls actually lives in PA as well. I would love to talk to you if you want to. Sometimes when we are in crisis it helps to talk to a live person instead of an email. The four of us are constantly in touch by email and three of us by phone, one of us is in New Zeland, so we can't call there, but I am in Kentucky and the other girl is in Indiana. I am 53 and have a lot of experience with coping so feel free to call me or to email me your number and I will

be happy to call you back and talk to you.

I know it's hard to stay strong when you're having such a flare and you don't say here if you have a family or some sort of support system where you are. Hang in there Judy we're here for you.

Deborah

-------------- Original message from "rjbasso@..." : --------------

My dear friends,I am going through one of those horrible mental state days. Each day for the last couple of days I have become more and more down and feel terrible mentally. I h ave written to the group several times when I went through this in the past.I just feel worthless, so very tired of the pain, frightened by the future and suicidal. I know that this is not the answer, Tracie has talked to me about these feelings in the past. I intellectually know that my seratonin receptors are not working because of the N/S and that there are time that my chemistry is mixed up by the N/S.I am trying so hard to put these feeling in perspective but they are so darn uncomfortable. And most of all I feel so terrible. I wish these feelings would go away. They come out of nowhere for no apparent reason. I am taking my medications as prescribed and I have told the doctor how I am feeling, he has supported me through several of these episodes in the past.I wish that I know how to stop this, I just need some mental relief from this feelings of doom and being worthless.Thanks for listening.Judy in PA

[Guest guest]

Hi Judy:

I'm new to the group but not to autoimmune disorders and I was diagnosed with Terminal Neurosarcoidosis about 2 years ago. Believe me I understand exactly how you feel. Sometimes I just want to get into a corner and sit and cry until I can't cry anymore. It really sucks to be this sick. Unfortuneatly we really don't have a choice but to deal with it. Sometimes I get so angry at it I just want to scream and I have asked God why did I have to have something more, I already have so many.

It does get depressing at times and seems hopeless but you are not alone Judy we are all here for you and we all know what you're going through and how you feel because we are going through it. That doesn't help much when you're going through a crisis though. I don't know what kind of phone service you have I have unlimited and can call anywhere. I was on a Lupus suppost group that disbanded a couple of years ago and there are four of us that still keep in contact by phone and one of the girls actually lives in PA as well. I would love to talk to you if you want to. Sometimes when we are in crisis it helps to talk to a live person instead of an email. The four of us are constantly in touch by email and three of us by phone, one of us is in New Zeland, so we can't call there, but I am in Kentucky and the other girl is in Indiana. I am 53 and have a lot of experience with coping so feel free to call me or to email me your number and I will

be happy to call you back and talk to you.

I know it's hard to stay strong when you're having such a flare and you don't say here if you have a family or some sort of support system where you are. Hang in there Judy we're here for you.

Deborah

-------------- Original message from "rjbasso@..." : --------------

My dear friends,I am going through one of those horrible mental state days. Each day for the last couple of days I have become more and more down and feel terrible mentally. I h ave written to the group several times when I went through this in the past.I just feel worthless, so very tired of the pain, frightened by the future and suicidal. I know that this is not the answer, Tracie has talked to me about these feelings in the past. I intellectually know that my seratonin receptors are not working because of the N/S and that there are time that my chemistry is mixed up by the N/S.I am trying so hard to put these feeling in perspective but they are so darn uncomfortable. And most of all I feel so terrible. I wish these feelings would go away. They come out of nowhere for no apparent reason. I am taking my medications as prescribed and I have told the doctor how I am feeling, he has supported me through several of these episodes in the past.I wish that I know how to stop this, I just need some mental relief from this feelings of doom and being worthless.Thanks for listening.Judy in PA

[Guest guest]

Judy,

I think all of us gets to this state sometime during fighting

this awful Sarc Monster.........I know I have episodes like this

also. Some days,I just think-----"why bother"?? But you

have to pull yourself together, talk to yourself, and think of all

the blessings you DO have; the people you love; the ones who

care about you; and tell yourself that you WILL NOT let this

old monster win! You have lots of "family" on here as well as

your family and together we are an army to be reckoned with!

Hang in there........we will win!

Sending lots of hugs,

Darlene

NS Co-Owner/Moderator

having a very bad physical and mental day.

My dear friends,I am going through one of those horrible mental state days. Each day for the last couple of days I have become more and more down and feel terrible mentally. I h ave written to the group several times when I went through this in the past.I just feel worthless, so very tired of the pain, frightened by the future and suicidal. I know that this is not the answer, Tracie has talked to me about these feelings in the past. I intellectually know that my seratonin receptors are not working because of the N/S and that there are time that my chemistry is mixed up by the N/S.I am trying so hard to put these feeling in perspective but they are so darn uncomfortable. And most of all I feel so terrible. I wish these feelings would go away. They come out of nowhere for no apparent reason. I am taking my medications as prescribed and I have told the doctor how I am feeling, he has supported me through several of these episodes in the past.I wish that I know how to stop this, I just need some mental relief from this feelings of doom and being worthless.Thanks for listening.Judy in PA

[Guest guest]

Judy,

I think all of us gets to this state sometime during fighting

this awful Sarc Monster.........I know I have episodes like this

also. Some days,I just think-----"why bother"?? But you

have to pull yourself together, talk to yourself, and think of all

the blessings you DO have; the people you love; the ones who

care about you; and tell yourself that you WILL NOT let this

old monster win! You have lots of "family" on here as well as

your family and together we are an army to be reckoned with!

Hang in there........we will win!

Sending lots of hugs,

Darlene

NS Co-Owner/Moderator

having a very bad physical and mental day.

My dear friends,I am going through one of those horrible mental state days. Each day for the last couple of days I have become more and more down and feel terrible mentally. I h ave written to the group several times when I went through this in the past.I just feel worthless, so very tired of the pain, frightened by the future and suicidal. I know that this is not the answer, Tracie has talked to me about these feelings in the past. I intellectually know that my seratonin receptors are not working because of the N/S and that there are time that my chemistry is mixed up by the N/S.I am trying so hard to put these feeling in perspective but they are so darn uncomfortable. And most of all I feel so terrible. I wish these feelings would go away. They come out of nowhere for no apparent reason. I am taking my medications as prescribed and I have told the doctor how I am feeling, he has supported me through several of these episodes in the past.I wish that I know how to stop this, I just need some mental relief from this feelings of doom and being worthless.Thanks for listening.Judy in PA

[Guest guest]

Judy, I am sorry you are having such a bad time right now. Please don't hesitate to go to the ER for this if it gets too bad. I know that you shouldn't be suffering and be alone. I've been there and know you shouldn't let these feelings go untreated. Judy, you are far from being worthless. You mean so much to so many people. It's these feelings that screw with our minds and tell us lies. You are more than this disease . You are more than the pain you are feeling. You are more than what you can or can't do. Take advantage of this message board and vent as much as you need to cuz we've all been there and relate to your state of mind. Sweetie, I'm sending you a big cyber-hug. Hang in there cuz it really does get better. The ride down can be scary and you shouldn't be alone. Call

someone cuz that's what friends and family are for. hugs S."rjbasso@..." wrote: My dear friends, I am going through one of those horrible mental state days. Each day for the last couple of days I have become more and more down and feel terrible mentally. I h ave written to the group several times when I went through this in the past. I just feel worthless, so very tired of the pain, frightened by the future and suicidal. I know that this is not

the answer, Tracie has talked to me about these feelings in the past. I intellectually know that my seratonin receptors are not working because of the N/S and that there are time that my chemistry is mixed up by the N/S. I am trying so hard to put these feeling in perspective but they are so darn uncomfortable. And most of all I feel so terrible. I wish these feelings would go away. They come out of nowhere for no apparent reason. I am taking my medications as prescribed and I have told the doctor how I am feeling, he has supported me through several of these episodes in the past. I wish that I know how to stop this, I just need some mental relief from this feelings of doom and being worthless. Thanks for listening. Judy in PA

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[Guest guest]

Judy, I am sorry you are having such a bad time right now. Please don't hesitate to go to the ER for this if it gets too bad. I know that you shouldn't be suffering and be alone. I've been there and know you shouldn't let these feelings go untreated. Judy, you are far from being worthless. You mean so much to so many people. It's these feelings that screw with our minds and tell us lies. You are more than this disease . You are more than the pain you are feeling. You are more than what you can or can't do. Take advantage of this message board and vent as much as you need to cuz we've all been there and relate to your state of mind. Sweetie, I'm sending you a big cyber-hug. Hang in there cuz it really does get better. The ride down can be scary and you shouldn't be alone. Call

someone cuz that's what friends and family are for. hugs S."rjbasso@..." wrote: My dear friends, I am going through one of those horrible mental state days. Each day for the last couple of days I have become more and more down and feel terrible mentally. I h ave written to the group several times when I went through this in the past. I just feel worthless, so very tired of the pain, frightened by the future and suicidal. I know that this is not

the answer, Tracie has talked to me about these feelings in the past. I intellectually know that my seratonin receptors are not working because of the N/S and that there are time that my chemistry is mixed up by the N/S. I am trying so hard to put these feeling in perspective but they are so darn uncomfortable. And most of all I feel so terrible. I wish these feelings would go away. They come out of nowhere for no apparent reason. I am taking my medications as prescribed and I have told the doctor how I am feeling, he has supported me through several of these episodes in the past. I wish that I know how to stop this, I just need some mental relief from this feelings of doom and being worthless. Thanks for listening. Judy in PA

Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.

[Guest guest]

Judy, this is Madonna in Ohio - please know one thing for sure:

EVERYDAY someone is praying for you, me. God can give us the strength

courage and wisdom to make it through. You can make it, just hold on,

better times are coming,don't worry about a thing.

Everyone on this list serve can relate to what you are feeling, I just

hope that you know we are a sounding board and can help you through

corporate thoughts - positive thoughts.

God bless you,

Madonna

[Guest guest]

Judy, this is Madonna in Ohio - please know one thing for sure:

EVERYDAY someone is praying for you, me. God can give us the strength

courage and wisdom to make it through. You can make it, just hold on,

better times are coming,don't worry about a thing.

Everyone on this list serve can relate to what you are feeling, I just

hope that you know we are a sounding board and can help you through

corporate thoughts - positive thoughts.

God bless you,

Madonna

[Guest guest]

Judy I am going through alot of the same things but not quite as bad at the moment. What helps me is that I found the knitting shop down the street and then found out about their charity knitting for the Kaz orphanages. I think this is what God wants me to do for those children and why I am still alive. It sure isn't how I lived my life 4 years ago when I was still working but when I finish a garment it really makes ME feel good to make something for the children who have so little. I try to find something beautiful in every day and like someone on Oprah or maybe it was Oprah said find your passion and "Live every day as if it's your last". Most of the time it works for me and when it doesn't it's time to through Steel Magnolias in the VCR and have a nice cleansing cry. Hope you feel better soon.Join our Sock

Challenge for Orphans in Kazakhstan http://groups. yahoo.com/ group/Mittens_ for_Akkol/ grannylunatic@...

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[Guest guest]

Judy I am going through alot of the same things but not quite as bad at the moment. What helps me is that I found the knitting shop down the street and then found out about their charity knitting for the Kaz orphanages. I think this is what God wants me to do for those children and why I am still alive. It sure isn't how I lived my life 4 years ago when I was still working but when I finish a garment it really makes ME feel good to make something for the children who have so little. I try to find something beautiful in every day and like someone on Oprah or maybe it was Oprah said find your passion and "Live every day as if it's your last". Most of the time it works for me and when it doesn't it's time to through Steel Magnolias in the VCR and have a nice cleansing cry. Hope you feel better soon.Join our Sock

Challenge for Orphans in Kazakhstan http://groups. yahoo.com/ group/Mittens_ for_Akkol/ grannylunatic@...

Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.

[Guest guest]

Deborah I'm in Northern Kentucky by the Ohio river!Join our Sock Challenge for Orphans in Kazakhstan http://groups. yahoo.com/ group/Mittens_ for_Akkol/ grannylunatic@...

Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo! Search.

[Guest guest]

Deborah I'm in Northern Kentucky by the Ohio river!Join our Sock Challenge for Orphans in Kazakhstan http://groups. yahoo.com/ group/Mittens_ for_Akkol/ grannylunatic@...

Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo! Search.

[Guest guest]

60 mgs Cymbalta sure helps too! Join our Sock Challenge for Orphans in Kazakhstan http://groups. yahoo.com/ group/Mittens_ for_Akkol/ grannylunatic@...

Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.

[Guest guest]

60 mgs Cymbalta sure helps too! Join our Sock Challenge for Orphans in Kazakhstan http://groups. yahoo.com/ group/Mittens_ for_Akkol/ grannylunatic@...

Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.

[Guest guest]

Dear Judy,

I have been going through the same feelings lately, so please don't feel all alone. I feel like I am ready to give up, too. I have been really sick lately and I lie there in my bed looking out the window at the same old view every day and how I wish I could be like I used to and just up and go out - to work, shopping, anywhere without a thought in the world. I end up crying every day when nobody's around. I am so sick of being sick, too, and then I start to feel suicidal, even being on tons of antidepressant and anxiety meds. I know I can't say anything about it to anyone in my family. They wouldn't understand and I realize too deep down , it's no the answer. Not only would you be hurting yourself, you would be hurting everyone else around you.

But then one of my kids come in and start telling me about their day and what they have done, and then the 2nd one comes in too to talk to me. Before I know it, there's 3 kids, a dog and my husband surrounding me in my bed just talking about everyone's day and it makes me feel that I would miss this and I like to think that they would miss it too. It makes the feeling of worthlessness go away, for a little while anyway. Sure, Mom, isn't like she used to be , but she's still here for us to listen to and give us praise and attention. It makes me feel better.

I hope you have loved ones to make you feel better. Just being with them or talking to them distracts you from the pain for a little while. Please try and think positive. Yes, there are mostly days that you feel like hell, but there is also a day that pops up and you feel a little better. Maybe get out there into the world for a bit. That's what my husband tells me when I am feeling down and I realize he is right. I look forward to those days. I hope this cheers you up. Hang in there, Judy, and try to look forward to the good days too.

Love,

Debbie T.

Co-Moderator

having a very bad physical and mental day.My dear friends,I am going through one of those horrible mental state days. Each day for the last couple of days I have become more and more down and feel terrible mentally. I h ave written to the group several times when I went through this in the past.I just feel worthless, so very tired of the pain, frightened by the future and suicidal. I know that this is not the answer, Tracie has talked to me about these feelings in the past. I intellectually know that my seratonin receptors are not working because of the N/S and that there are time that my chemistry is mixed up by the

N/S.I am trying so hard to put these feeling in perspective but they are so darn uncomfortable. And most of all I feel so terrible. I wish these feelings would go away. They come out of nowhere for no apparent reason. I am taking my medications as prescribed and I have told the doctor how I am feeling, he has supported me through several of these episodes in the past.I wish that I know how to stop this, I just need some mental relief from this feelings of doom and being worthless.Thanks for listening.Judy in PA~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~The Neurosarcoidosis CommunityNS CHAT:- FAITH CHAT: SUNDAY 4PM-5PM EASTERN TIME CHATROOM LINK: http://www.emxpc.net/chat/index.php Message Archives:-http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Neurosarcoidosis/messagesMembers Database:-Listings of locations, phone numbers, and instant messengers.http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Neurosarcoidosis/database

[Guest guest]

Dear Judy,

I have been going through the same feelings lately, so please don't feel all alone. I feel like I am ready to give up, too. I have been really sick lately and I lie there in my bed looking out the window at the same old view every day and how I wish I could be like I used to and just up and go out - to work, shopping, anywhere without a thought in the world. I end up crying every day when nobody's around. I am so sick of being sick, too, and then I start to feel suicidal, even being on tons of antidepressant and anxiety meds. I know I can't say anything about it to anyone in my family. They wouldn't understand and I realize too deep down , it's no the answer. Not only would you be hurting yourself, you would be hurting everyone else around you.

But then one of my kids come in and start telling me about their day and what they have done, and then the 2nd one comes in too to talk to me. Before I know it, there's 3 kids, a dog and my husband surrounding me in my bed just talking about everyone's day and it makes me feel that I would miss this and I like to think that they would miss it too. It makes the feeling of worthlessness go away, for a little while anyway. Sure, Mom, isn't like she used to be , but she's still here for us to listen to and give us praise and attention. It makes me feel better.

I hope you have loved ones to make you feel better. Just being with them or talking to them distracts you from the pain for a little while. Please try and think positive. Yes, there are mostly days that you feel like hell, but there is also a day that pops up and you feel a little better. Maybe get out there into the world for a bit. That's what my husband tells me when I am feeling down and I realize he is right. I look forward to those days. I hope this cheers you up. Hang in there, Judy, and try to look forward to the good days too.

Love,

Debbie T.

Co-Moderator

having a very bad physical and mental day.My dear friends,I am going through one of those horrible mental state days. Each day for the last couple of days I have become more and more down and feel terrible mentally. I h ave written to the group several times when I went through this in the past.I just feel worthless, so very tired of the pain, frightened by the future and suicidal. I know that this is not the answer, Tracie has talked to me about these feelings in the past. I intellectually know that my seratonin receptors are not working because of the N/S and that there are time that my chemistry is mixed up by the

N/S.I am trying so hard to put these feeling in perspective but they are so darn uncomfortable. And most of all I feel so terrible. I wish these feelings would go away. They come out of nowhere for no apparent reason. I am taking my medications as prescribed and I have told the doctor how I am feeling, he has supported me through several of these episodes in the past.I wish that I know how to stop this, I just need some mental relief from this feelings of doom and being worthless.Thanks for listening.Judy in PA~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~The Neurosarcoidosis CommunityNS CHAT:- FAITH CHAT: SUNDAY 4PM-5PM EASTERN TIME CHATROOM LINK: http://www.emxpc.net/chat/index.php Message Archives:-http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Neurosarcoidosis/messagesMembers Database:-Listings of locations, phone numbers, and instant messengers.http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Neurosarcoidosis/database