Guest guest Posted December 15, 2005 Report Share Posted December 15, 2005 ... Hang in there and it will come ! Have faith in yourself and focus on all the hard work you have done so far and keep your eyes on the prize. Don't forget we are here for you. Regards, Gordy > > Ok, Yesterday was REALLY hard. I went to see the surgeon, he looked at me, poked me in the stomach and said, loose 20 more pounds and we'll see if surgery is an option. Come back in February. If they wanted 30 more, why didn't they tell me this before I spent 40 dollars on gas and a day off work? I am scared because I am in doubt about my resolve to continue this journey. I have worked so hard at this, and I still have so far to go. I was looking forward to the tool to help me with the work. The analogy is digging a pool. I had been digging with my fingers (no real skills or plan) until I started this program. Since then, I have been using a spoon (the meal plan and support). I was expecting a shovel soon (the surgery), and now I have to dig another 2 or 3 months before we will even entertain a discussion about a shovel. It is days like yesterday that the food demon revels in. I did hit a 2 oz bag of popcorn on the road home and it didn't help either. (I knew it wouldn't but I did it anyway). Again, I have to choose, LIVE or DIE. That is really all there is. I reluctantly choose LIVE. A good walk, some positive emails from people who support me and a good night sleep should get rid of my adverb, but for now, I think this pity pool is warm and comfortable, so I will soak for a while. See you when I dry off. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 15, 2005 Report Share Posted December 15, 2005 ... Hang in there and it will come ! Have faith in yourself and focus on all the hard work you have done so far and keep your eyes on the prize. Don't forget we are here for you. Regards, Gordy > > Ok, Yesterday was REALLY hard. I went to see the surgeon, he looked at me, poked me in the stomach and said, loose 20 more pounds and we'll see if surgery is an option. Come back in February. If they wanted 30 more, why didn't they tell me this before I spent 40 dollars on gas and a day off work? I am scared because I am in doubt about my resolve to continue this journey. I have worked so hard at this, and I still have so far to go. I was looking forward to the tool to help me with the work. The analogy is digging a pool. I had been digging with my fingers (no real skills or plan) until I started this program. Since then, I have been using a spoon (the meal plan and support). I was expecting a shovel soon (the surgery), and now I have to dig another 2 or 3 months before we will even entertain a discussion about a shovel. It is days like yesterday that the food demon revels in. I did hit a 2 oz bag of popcorn on the road home and it didn't help either. (I knew it wouldn't but I did it anyway). Again, I have to choose, LIVE or DIE. That is really all there is. I reluctantly choose LIVE. A good walk, some positive emails from people who support me and a good night sleep should get rid of my adverb, but for now, I think this pity pool is warm and comfortable, so I will soak for a while. See you when I dry off. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 15, 2005 Report Share Posted December 15, 2005 -- Hang in there! I know the task at hand seems daunting at times (I remember those days) but it is all so worth it in the end. So...come in here for encouragement and keep on keeping on. You will get there! I had orientation in October of 2004. It took me until the beginning of May 2005 to lose 36 pounds. I wavered a lot, wondered if this was really the way for me, and eventually found an inner strength within me and plowed through to the end. You can do this!! I have complete and total faith in you. Chin up! Tina > > Ok, Yesterday was REALLY hard. I went to see the surgeon, he looked at me, poked me in the stomach and said, loose 20 more pounds and we'll see if surgery is an option. Come back in February. If they wanted 30 more, why didn't they tell me this before I spent 40 dollars on gas and a day off work? I am scared because I am in doubt about my resolve to continue this journey. I have worked so hard at this, and I still have so far to go. I was looking forward to the tool to help me with the work. The analogy is digging a pool. I had been digging with my fingers (no real skills or plan) until I started this program. Since then, I have been using a spoon (the meal plan and support). I was expecting a shovel soon (the surgery), and now I have to dig another 2 or 3 months before we will even entertain a discussion about a shovel. It is days like yesterday that the food demon revels in. I did hit a 2 oz bag of popcorn on the road home and it didn't help either. (I knew it wouldn't but I did it anyway). Again, I have to choose, LIVE or DIE. That is really all there is. I reluctantly choose LIVE. A good walk, some positive emails from people who support me and a good night sleep should get rid of my adverb, but for now, I think this pity pool is warm and comfortable, so I will soak for a while. See you when I dry off. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 15, 2005 Report Share Posted December 15, 2005 -- Hang in there! I know the task at hand seems daunting at times (I remember those days) but it is all so worth it in the end. So...come in here for encouragement and keep on keeping on. You will get there! I had orientation in October of 2004. It took me until the beginning of May 2005 to lose 36 pounds. I wavered a lot, wondered if this was really the way for me, and eventually found an inner strength within me and plowed through to the end. You can do this!! I have complete and total faith in you. Chin up! Tina > > Ok, Yesterday was REALLY hard. I went to see the surgeon, he looked at me, poked me in the stomach and said, loose 20 more pounds and we'll see if surgery is an option. Come back in February. If they wanted 30 more, why didn't they tell me this before I spent 40 dollars on gas and a day off work? I am scared because I am in doubt about my resolve to continue this journey. I have worked so hard at this, and I still have so far to go. I was looking forward to the tool to help me with the work. The analogy is digging a pool. I had been digging with my fingers (no real skills or plan) until I started this program. Since then, I have been using a spoon (the meal plan and support). I was expecting a shovel soon (the surgery), and now I have to dig another 2 or 3 months before we will even entertain a discussion about a shovel. It is days like yesterday that the food demon revels in. I did hit a 2 oz bag of popcorn on the road home and it didn't help either. (I knew it wouldn't but I did it anyway). Again, I have to choose, LIVE or DIE. That is really all there is. I reluctantly choose LIVE. A good walk, some positive emails from people who support me and a good night sleep should get rid of my adverb, but for now, I think this pity pool is warm and comfortable, so I will soak for a while. See you when I dry off. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 15, 2005 Report Share Posted December 15, 2005 Hey ! I've got some more bad news for you. I'm 2.5 years post-op and battle " head hunger " almost every day. The surgery is perfrmed with a scalpel, not a magic wand, and it's done on our stomachs, not our brains. I'm glad you get that it's just a tool. Too many people think they can get the surgery, loos the weight, adn go right back to the lifestyle that threatened their lives in he first place. I was where (I assume, judging from your comments) you are today, not so long ago. I had to decide whether to live 3 more years or 30. My surgeon told me to lose 40 pounds, and he;d do me open. (There was no discussion of lap. Well, I (being an overachiever) figured, " I'll show him, " and lost 65. It allowed him do do the procedure laporoscopically instead of open. Remember that Kaiser is a conservative medical corporation. They need good statistics. If your surgeon thinks loosing more weight will make your procedure easier (for both him and you) and safer, trust that he knows what parameters make for a more successful outcome. You are not alone. You can do this. Keep on. Tim -240 > > Ok, Yesterday was REALLY hard. I went to see the surgeon, he looked at me, poked me in the stomach and said, loose 20 more pounds and we'll see if surgery is an option. Come back in February. If they wanted 30 more, why didn't they tell me this before I spent 40 dollars on gas and a day off work? I am scared because I am in doubt about my resolve to continue this journey. I have worked so hard at this, and I still have so far to go. I was looking forward to the tool to help me with the work. The analogy is digging a pool. I had been digging with my fingers (no real skills or plan) until I started this program. Since then, I have been using a spoon (the meal plan and support). I was expecting a shovel soon (the surgery), and now I have to dig another 2 or 3 months before we will even entertain a discussion about a shovel. It is days like yesterday that the food demon revels in. I did hit a 2 oz bag of popcorn on the road home and it didn't help either. (I knew it wouldn't but I did it anyway). Again, I have to choose, LIVE or DIE. That is really all there is. I reluctantly choose LIVE. A good walk, some positive emails from people who support me and a good night sleep should get rid of my adverb, but for now, I think this pity pool is warm and comfortable, so I will soak for a while. See you when I dry off. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 15, 2005 Report Share Posted December 15, 2005 Hey ! I've got some more bad news for you. I'm 2.5 years post-op and battle " head hunger " almost every day. The surgery is perfrmed with a scalpel, not a magic wand, and it's done on our stomachs, not our brains. I'm glad you get that it's just a tool. Too many people think they can get the surgery, loos the weight, adn go right back to the lifestyle that threatened their lives in he first place. I was where (I assume, judging from your comments) you are today, not so long ago. I had to decide whether to live 3 more years or 30. My surgeon told me to lose 40 pounds, and he;d do me open. (There was no discussion of lap. Well, I (being an overachiever) figured, " I'll show him, " and lost 65. It allowed him do do the procedure laporoscopically instead of open. Remember that Kaiser is a conservative medical corporation. They need good statistics. If your surgeon thinks loosing more weight will make your procedure easier (for both him and you) and safer, trust that he knows what parameters make for a more successful outcome. You are not alone. You can do this. Keep on. Tim -240 > > Ok, Yesterday was REALLY hard. I went to see the surgeon, he looked at me, poked me in the stomach and said, loose 20 more pounds and we'll see if surgery is an option. Come back in February. If they wanted 30 more, why didn't they tell me this before I spent 40 dollars on gas and a day off work? I am scared because I am in doubt about my resolve to continue this journey. I have worked so hard at this, and I still have so far to go. I was looking forward to the tool to help me with the work. The analogy is digging a pool. I had been digging with my fingers (no real skills or plan) until I started this program. Since then, I have been using a spoon (the meal plan and support). I was expecting a shovel soon (the surgery), and now I have to dig another 2 or 3 months before we will even entertain a discussion about a shovel. It is days like yesterday that the food demon revels in. I did hit a 2 oz bag of popcorn on the road home and it didn't help either. (I knew it wouldn't but I did it anyway). Again, I have to choose, LIVE or DIE. That is really all there is. I reluctantly choose LIVE. A good walk, some positive emails from people who support me and a good night sleep should get rid of my adverb, but for now, I think this pity pool is warm and comfortable, so I will soak for a while. See you when I dry off. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 15, 2005 Report Share Posted December 15, 2005 , I can't say that I know what you are feeling because I don't. It just did not happen like that for me. What I want to tell you is that sometime we run into pot holes along the way but I truly don't look at those pot holes as a negative thing because everytime I hit one, I find a renewed strength. So, use this pot hole (time) to dig deeper and just know that you will get those extra pounds that your dr. has requested off. It is going to happen. Take the time to research, research and more research. You can do this and you will. I am here for you, to encourage and support you. I don't know what type of spiritual or religious life you have but I have ALWAYS found comfort in praying. Be encouraged and know you are not alone. Pam Marsh --- wrote: > Ok, Yesterday was REALLY hard. I went to see the > surgeon, he looked at me, poked me in the stomach > and said, loose 20 more pounds and we'll see if > surgery is an option. Come back in February. If > they wanted 30 more, why didn't they tell me this > before I spent 40 dollars on gas and a day off work? > I am scared because I am in doubt about my resolve > to continue this journey. I have worked so hard at > this, and I still have so far to go. I was looking > forward to the tool to help me with the work. The > analogy is digging a pool. I had been digging with > my fingers (no real skills or plan) until I started > this program. Since then, I have been using a spoon > (the meal plan and support). I was expecting a > shovel soon (the surgery), and now I have to dig > another 2 or 3 months before we will even entertain > a discussion about a shovel. It is days like > yesterday that the food demon revels in. I did hit > a 2 oz bag of popcorn on the road home and it didn't > help either. (I knew it wouldn't but I did it > anyway). Again, I have to choose, LIVE or DIE. > That is really all there is. I reluctantly choose > LIVE. A good walk, some positive emails from people > who support me and a good night sleep should get rid > of my adverb, but for now, I think this pity pool is > warm and comfortable, so I will soak for a while. > See you when I dry off. > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 15, 2005 Report Share Posted December 15, 2005 , I of all people know exactly what you are going through. I started my journey nearly 3 years ago. At that time, I was at the SSF facility and weighed 525 at orientation. The horrible thing for me was that I THOUGHT I weighed about 30 pounds LESS than that until I stepped on the scale. Silly as it may sound, I was so crushed over that, I cried. I met with the surgeon (Dr. Umbach) and he told me to lose 50 pounds and he'd do the surgery. Well, stuff happened and I stopped going down there. I kinda dropped out. I gained weight.... I got started again and was assigned to Richmond this time. I went to orientation and weighed in at 505. When I met with Dr. Baggs, he told me I'd have to lose 100 pounds before he'd give me a surgery date. Again, I was thoroughly crushed, dropped out, had a major pity party for myself and wallowed in it for a while. Nearly a year later and after 2 more hospitalizations (pnemonia and a leg infection), I "woke up" and decided that I wasn't going to continue this crap anymore. No matter what I had to do, I'd get it done and have this surgery. I called Kaiser Richmond, talked to someone about getting back into the program and they got me started again. At the same time, I stopped smoking. This time, I weighed in at 529. However, my original 505 for Richmond is still on file, so I had 124 pounds to lose. <EEK!> Very scary, but my resolve was strong. At this point, I have faultered a few times, but I am keeping the faith. To date, I'm still smoke free, about 69 pounds lighter and still chugging along. Today, I go in for another weight check. We'll see. But the point here is that yes, it's very difficult, but it's their game and if you want to play, you gotta play by their rules. I know how devistating it can be when you find out you still have this or that to do, or more weight to lose, or whatever. Have your little pity party if you need to, but don't go so overboard with it that you never see the top again. Buck up and "Git Er Done". This is your life we're talking about. You CAN do this. Ron Anybody got a shovel? Ok, Yesterday was REALLY hard. I went to see the surgeon, he looked at me, poked me in the stomach and said, loose 20 more pounds and we'll see if surgery is an option. Come back in February. If they wanted 30 more, why didn't they tell me this before I spent 40 dollars on gas and a day off work? I am scared because I am in doubt about my resolve to continue this journey. I have worked so hard at this, and I still have so far to go. I was looking forward to the tool to help me with the work. The analogy is digging a pool. I had been digging with my fingers (no real skills or plan) until I started this program. Since then, I have been using a spoon (the meal plan and support). I was expecting a shovel soon (the surgery), and now I have to dig another 2 or 3 months before we will even entertain a discussion about a shovel. It is days like yesterday that the food demon revels in. I did hit a 2 oz bag of popcorn on the road home and it didn't help either. (I knew it wouldn't but I did it anyway). Again, I have to choose, LIVE or DIE. That is really all there is. I reluctantly choose LIVE. A good walk, some positive emails from people who support me and a good night sleep should get rid of my adverb, but for now, I think this pity pool is warm and comfortable, so I will soak for a while. See you when I dry off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 15, 2005 Report Share Posted December 15, 2005 You've gotten some great advice already , not much else I can offer except to know you arent alone! Vent to us as you need to, we will help pull you through. > > > > Ok, Yesterday was REALLY hard. I went to see the surgeon, he > looked at me, poked me in the stomach and said, loose 20 more pounds > and we'll see if surgery is an option. Come back in February. If > they wanted 30 more, why didn't they tell me this before I spent 40 > dollars on gas and a day off work? I am scared because I am in doubt > about my resolve to continue this journey. I have worked so hard at > this, and I still have so far to go. I was looking forward to the > tool to help me with the work. The analogy is digging a pool. I had > been digging with my fingers (no real skills or plan) until I started > this program. Since then, I have been using a spoon (the meal plan > and support). I was expecting a shovel soon (the surgery), and now I > have to dig another 2 or 3 months before we will even entertain a > discussion about a shovel. It is days like yesterday that the food > demon revels in. I did hit a 2 oz bag of popcorn on the road home > and it didn't help either. (I knew it wouldn't but I did it > anyway). Again, I have to choose, LIVE or DIE. That is really all > there is. I reluctantly choose LIVE. A good walk, some positive > emails from people who support me and a good night sleep should get > rid of my adverb, but for now, I think this pity pool is warm and > comfortable, so I will soak for a while. See you when I dry off. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 15, 2005 Report Share Posted December 15, 2005 Sometimes the journey just to the surgery is so hard, but it will be better for you if this is what the surgeon wants. Plus learning not to give into the food demons, because after you a little ways out there after surgery those demons come to haunt and you don't want to mess up a major surgery because of the food demon. You hang in there. You can do this. Take care. Donna wrote: Ok, Yesterday was REALLY hard. I went to see the surgeon, he looked at me, poked me in the stomach and said, loose 20 more pounds and we'll see if surgery is an option. Come back in February. If they wanted 30 more, why didn't they tell me this before I spent 40 dollars on gas and a day off work? I am scared because I am in doubt about my resolve to continue this journey. I have worked so hard at this, and I still have so far to go. I was looking forward to the tool to help me with the work. The analogy is digging a pool. I had been digging with my fingers (no real skills or plan) until I started this program. Since then, I have been using a spoon (the meal plan and support). I was expecting a shovel soon (the surgery), and now I have to dig another 2 or 3 months before we will even entertain a discussion about a shovel. It is days like yesterday that the food demon revels in. I did hit a 2 oz bag of popcorn on the road home and it didn't help either. (I knew it wouldn't but I did it anyway). Again, I have to choose, LIVE or DIE. That is really all there is. I reluctantly choose LIVE. A good walk, some positive emails from people who support me and a good night sleep should get rid of my adverb, but for now, I think this pity pool is warm and comfortable, so I will soak for a while. See you when I dry off. Donna JordonDSJordon@... Yahoo! Shopping Find Great Deals on Holiday Gifts at Yahoo! Shopping Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 16, 2005 Report Share Posted December 16, 2005 , what a great analogy. My tiny bit of input on your situation would be: Do you want to spend your entire life digging with that little spoon? No, certainly you don't. So work like hell with that little spoon for the next couple of months, till you can get ahold of that shovel. You will be working with that shovel for the rest of your life, which will be CONSIDERABLY longer than the tiny speck of time you have left to dig with your spoon. Because even when you get your shovel, you will spend the rest of your life digging (working your tool.) You are doing excellent! Keep up the good work. Laurie __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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