Anybody got a shovel?

[Guest guest]

Ok, Yesterday was REALLY hard. I went to see the surgeon, he looked at me, poked me in the stomach and said, loose 20 more pounds and we'll see if surgery is an option. Come back in February. If they wanted 30 more, why didn't they tell me this before I spent 40 dollars on gas and a day off work? I am scared because I am in doubt about my resolve to continue this journey. I have worked so hard at this, and I still have so far to go. I was looking forward to the tool to help me with the work. The analogy is digging a pool. I had been digging with my fingers (no real skills or plan) until I started this program. Since then, I have been using a spoon (the meal plan and support). I was expecting a shovel soon (the surgery), and now I have to dig another 2 or 3 months before we will even entertain a discussion about a shovel. It is days like yesterday that the food demon revels in. I did hit a 2 oz bag of popcorn on the road home and it didn't help either. (I knew it wouldn't but I did it anyway). Again, I have to choose, LIVE or DIE. That is really all there is. I reluctantly choose LIVE. A good walk, some positive emails from people who support me and a good night sleep should get rid of my adverb, but for now, I think this pity pool is warm and comfortable, so I will soak for a while. See you when I dry off.

[Guest guest]

Ok, Yesterday was REALLY hard. I went to see the surgeon, he looked at me, poked me in the stomach and said, loose 20 more pounds and we'll see if surgery is an option. Come back in February. If they wanted 30 more, why didn't they tell me this before I spent 40 dollars on gas and a day off work? I am scared because I am in doubt about my resolve to continue this journey. I have worked so hard at this, and I still have so far to go. I was looking forward to the tool to help me with the work. The analogy is digging a pool. I had been digging with my fingers (no real skills or plan) until I started this program. Since then, I have been using a spoon (the meal plan and support). I was expecting a shovel soon (the surgery), and now I have to dig another 2 or 3 months before we will even entertain a discussion about a shovel. It is days like yesterday that the food demon revels in. I did hit a 2 oz bag of popcorn on the road home and it didn't help either. (I knew it wouldn't but I did it anyway). Again, I have to choose, LIVE or DIE. That is really all there is. I reluctantly choose LIVE. A good walk, some positive emails from people who support me and a good night sleep should get rid of my adverb, but for now, I think this pity pool is warm and comfortable, so I will soak for a while. See you when I dry off.