Guest guest Posted February 19, 2006 Report Share Posted February 19, 2006 I have been reading and enjoying all of your posts. I am not going to post my long diatribes here any more. No one wants to hear my ranting and raving. I do post them on my 360 page. Here is the AH HA of my latest journal entry. I am separate and alone because I am detached from the world, and I am detached from the world because I am unwilling to share for me. I only share the positive, funny happy face of me, not the dark sad hopelessness that I feel. This keeps the barrier up and keeps me apart from those around me. This keeps me in the funk and darkness that I fear will engulf me, consume me and eventually take me from those I love. Like the food I consume. I am trying to fill a hole in me; the hole that can not be filled with food, the hole that must be filled with something else, with love, with caring, with fellowship, with God, with the food of the soul. I need to stop using food to fill the emptiness I feel, or I will be consumed and obliterated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 19, 2006 Report Share Posted February 19, 2006 I have been reading and enjoying all of your posts. I am not going to post my long diatribes here any more. No one wants to hear my ranting and raving. I do post them on my 360 page. Here is the AH HA of my latest journal entry. I am separate and alone because I am detached from the world, and I am detached from the world because I am unwilling to share for me. I only share the positive, funny happy face of me, not the dark sad hopelessness that I feel. This keeps the barrier up and keeps me apart from those around me. This keeps me in the funk and darkness that I fear will engulf me, consume me and eventually take me from those I love. Like the food I consume. I am trying to fill a hole in me; the hole that can not be filled with food, the hole that must be filled with something else, with love, with caring, with fellowship, with God, with the food of the soul. I need to stop using food to fill the emptiness I feel, or I will be consumed and obliterated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 19, 2006 Report Share Posted February 19, 2006 Don't make me cry. You sound just like my husband. You have to find what will fill the hole and not be food. My husband is giving up responsibility for anyone but himself and moving up to the mountains, where there is nature, fishing and it's beautiful. He has not lost us (me and his 2 boys) we realize with his depression and high anxiety he is being "True to thine on self". You need to fine what is hurting you and see if there's away to fix it. My husband had to see doctors and psychologist and take many classes, but it has helped he no longer feels like suicide. Even though after 24 years of marriage splitting ways is very hard, it will be good for all and no hate will come from it. If we were to have stayed with the anger he was displaying it may have turned that way. So the psychologist I saw different from the ones from my husband to get a different view also said be true to myself. Which is I couldn't take the anger any more. Now we can both have what we want, keep the love we've had for 24 years, and only time can tell but maybe stay friends and this way we're not hurting our boys. These changes are major and hard, but necessary. You have to not give up and find the changes to be "True to thine own self", and know we don't mind the ranting and raving if it will help you. I hope you are seeing counseling to help you with the way you feel and I hope you don't give up. We are here for you. I will keep you in my prayers and thoughts, and talk to us anytime you need too. Please take care. Donna wrote: I have been reading and enjoying all of your posts. I am not going to post my long diatribes here any more. No one wants to hear my ranting and raving. I do post them on my 360 page. Here is the AH HA of my latest journal entry. I am separate and alone because I am detached from the world, and I am detached from the world because I am unwilling to share for me. I only share the positive, funny happy face of me, not the dark sad hopelessness that I feel. This keeps the barrier up and keeps me apart from those around me. This keeps me in the funk and darkness that I fear will engulf me, consume me and eventually take me from those I love. Like the food I consume. I am trying to fill a hole in me; the hole that can not be filled with food, the hole that must be filled with something else, with love, with caring, with fellowship, with God, with the food of the soul. I need to stop using food to fill the emptiness I feel, or I will be consumed and obliterated. Donna JordonDSJordon@... Brings words and photos together (easily) with PhotoMail - it's free and works with Yahoo! Mail. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 19, 2006 Report Share Posted February 19, 2006 Don't make me cry. You sound just like my husband. You have to find what will fill the hole and not be food. My husband is giving up responsibility for anyone but himself and moving up to the mountains, where there is nature, fishing and it's beautiful. He has not lost us (me and his 2 boys) we realize with his depression and high anxiety he is being "True to thine on self". You need to fine what is hurting you and see if there's away to fix it. My husband had to see doctors and psychologist and take many classes, but it has helped he no longer feels like suicide. Even though after 24 years of marriage splitting ways is very hard, it will be good for all and no hate will come from it. If we were to have stayed with the anger he was displaying it may have turned that way. So the psychologist I saw different from the ones from my husband to get a different view also said be true to myself. Which is I couldn't take the anger any more. Now we can both have what we want, keep the love we've had for 24 years, and only time can tell but maybe stay friends and this way we're not hurting our boys. These changes are major and hard, but necessary. You have to not give up and find the changes to be "True to thine own self", and know we don't mind the ranting and raving if it will help you. I hope you are seeing counseling to help you with the way you feel and I hope you don't give up. We are here for you. I will keep you in my prayers and thoughts, and talk to us anytime you need too. Please take care. Donna wrote: I have been reading and enjoying all of your posts. I am not going to post my long diatribes here any more. No one wants to hear my ranting and raving. I do post them on my 360 page. Here is the AH HA of my latest journal entry. I am separate and alone because I am detached from the world, and I am detached from the world because I am unwilling to share for me. I only share the positive, funny happy face of me, not the dark sad hopelessness that I feel. This keeps the barrier up and keeps me apart from those around me. This keeps me in the funk and darkness that I fear will engulf me, consume me and eventually take me from those I love. Like the food I consume. I am trying to fill a hole in me; the hole that can not be filled with food, the hole that must be filled with something else, with love, with caring, with fellowship, with God, with the food of the soul. I need to stop using food to fill the emptiness I feel, or I will be consumed and obliterated. Donna JordonDSJordon@... Brings words and photos together (easily) with PhotoMail - it's free and works with Yahoo! Mail. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 19, 2006 Report Share Posted February 19, 2006 Thank you and I am sorry for bringing up those feelings in you. I will be fine, I am sure of that. I am better for letting it out and I am thankful to all of you for listening to it. I believe the most important part of me is to be heard. I grew up in a home where feelings were never listened to or acknowledged, so again thanks, and I WILL BE FINE. I WILL COMPLETE MY JOURNEY (WTTH OR WITHOUT SURGERY) AND I AM GREATFULL TO ALL OF YOU. > I have been reading and enjoying all of your posts. I am not going to post my long diatribes here any more. No one wants to hear my ranting and raving. I do post them on my 360 page. > Here is the AH HA of my latest journal entry. I am separate and alone because I am detached from the world, and I am detached from the world because I am unwilling to share for me. I only share the positive, funny happy face of me, not the dark sad hopelessness that I feel. This keeps the barrier up and keeps me apart from those around me. This keeps me in the funk and darkness that I fear will engulf me, consume me and eventually take me from those I love. Like the food I consume. I am trying to fill a hole in me; the hole that can not be filled with food, the hole that must be filled with something else, with love, with caring, with fellowship, with God, with the food of the soul. I need to stop using food to fill the emptiness I feel, or I will be consumed and obliterated. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 19, 2006 Report Share Posted February 19, 2006 Thank you and I am sorry for bringing up those feelings in you. I will be fine, I am sure of that. I am better for letting it out and I am thankful to all of you for listening to it. I believe the most important part of me is to be heard. I grew up in a home where feelings were never listened to or acknowledged, so again thanks, and I WILL BE FINE. I WILL COMPLETE MY JOURNEY (WTTH OR WITHOUT SURGERY) AND I AM GREATFULL TO ALL OF YOU. > I have been reading and enjoying all of your posts. I am not going to post my long diatribes here any more. No one wants to hear my ranting and raving. I do post them on my 360 page. > Here is the AH HA of my latest journal entry. I am separate and alone because I am detached from the world, and I am detached from the world because I am unwilling to share for me. I only share the positive, funny happy face of me, not the dark sad hopelessness that I feel. This keeps the barrier up and keeps me apart from those around me. This keeps me in the funk and darkness that I fear will engulf me, consume me and eventually take me from those I love. Like the food I consume. I am trying to fill a hole in me; the hole that can not be filled with food, the hole that must be filled with something else, with love, with caring, with fellowship, with God, with the food of the soul. I need to stop using food to fill the emptiness I feel, or I will be consumed and obliterated. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 20, 2006 Report Share Posted February 20, 2006 - Gosh reading your post I can understand it, and everything you said is sort of like " self talk converstations " I use to have in my head because I had no one to really tell them too. All I can say is keep focused dont lose sight of your dreams and you are going to get there, its true the surgery is not brain surgery it wont change everything but I think you will be very pleased with how much it helps. Colleen wrote: I have been reading and enjoying all of your posts. I am not going to post my long diatribes here any more. No one wants to hear my ranting and raving. I do post them on my 360 page. Here is the AH HA of my latest journal entry. I am separate and alone because I am detached from the world, and I am detached from the world because I am unwilling to share for me. I only share the positive, funny happy face of me, not the dark sad hopelessness that I feel. This keeps the barrier up and keeps me apart from those around me. This keeps me in the funk and darkness that I fear will engulf me, consume me and eventually take me from those I love. Like the food I consume. I am trying to fill a hole in me; the hole that can not be filled with food, the hole that must be filled with something else, with love, with caring, with fellowship, with God, with the food of the soul. I need to stop using food to fill the emptiness I feel, or I will be consumed and obliterated. Colleen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 20, 2006 Report Share Posted February 20, 2006 - Gosh reading your post I can understand it, and everything you said is sort of like " self talk converstations " I use to have in my head because I had no one to really tell them too. All I can say is keep focused dont lose sight of your dreams and you are going to get there, its true the surgery is not brain surgery it wont change everything but I think you will be very pleased with how much it helps. Colleen wrote: I have been reading and enjoying all of your posts. I am not going to post my long diatribes here any more. No one wants to hear my ranting and raving. I do post them on my 360 page. Here is the AH HA of my latest journal entry. I am separate and alone because I am detached from the world, and I am detached from the world because I am unwilling to share for me. I only share the positive, funny happy face of me, not the dark sad hopelessness that I feel. This keeps the barrier up and keeps me apart from those around me. This keeps me in the funk and darkness that I fear will engulf me, consume me and eventually take me from those I love. Like the food I consume. I am trying to fill a hole in me; the hole that can not be filled with food, the hole that must be filled with something else, with love, with caring, with fellowship, with God, with the food of the soul. I need to stop using food to fill the emptiness I feel, or I will be consumed and obliterated. Colleen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 11, 2006 Report Share Posted April 11, 2006 Donna: Congratulations! You inspire me with your inner strength and wisdom. Thanks for your contributions to our group. Francisco > > Hello everyone, > Today is my 1 year anniversary for WLS and I am still 138 and so happy about that. With life this year it's been very difficult with the split of me and my husband, my son's motor reck (he's all healed now) , with 2 boys in college, with all the mental issues of my husband, my dad's death and putting the whole funeral together myself, my mom not doing well with my dad's lose, both step sisters fighting cancer, and my husband's step mom also, it's a hard time ( I know it will get better) I have 663 emails I don't even have time to read, I only do 1 or 2 that I have too at night. Right now I'm working my daycare all day M-F and cleaning houses Sat. doesn't leave much time. I determined not to touch my money for my 2007 China/ Japan trip or my plastic surgery money. So for now I hanging in there pulling life back together, just want to say thank you to all of you for the support through these difficult times. I will be seeing Dr Baggs on Thursday April 13th for my one > year, I look forward to that. Take care and as soon as I can I will start back here. Thanks again. Love Donna J. > > > Donna Jordon > > DSJordon@... > > --------------------------------- > Love cheap thrills? Enjoy PC-to-Phone calls to 30+ countries for just 2¢/min with Yahoo! Messenger with Voice. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 11, 2006 Report Share Posted April 11, 2006 Donna, Hang in there things have to get better for you. Happy birthday anniversary too. RoseDonna Jordon wrote: Hello everyone, Today is my 1 year anniversary for WLS and I am still 138 and so happy about that. With life this year it's been very difficult with the split of me and my husband, my son's motor reck (he's all healed now) , with 2 boys in college, with all the mental issues of my husband, my dad's death and putting the whole funeral together myself, my mom not doing well with my dad's lose, both step sisters fighting cancer, and my husband's step mom also, it's a hard time ( I know it will get better) I have 663 emails I don't even have time to read, I only do 1 or 2 that I have too at night. Right now I'm working my daycare all day M-F and cleaning houses Sat. doesn't leave much time. I determined not to touch my money for my 2007 China/ Japan trip or my plastic surgery money. So for now I hanging in there pulling life back together, just want to say thank you to all of you for the support through these difficult times. I will be seeing Dr Baggs on Thursday April 13th for my one year, I look forward to that. Take care and as soon as I can I will start back here. Thanks again. Love Donna J.Donna JordonDSJordon@... Love cheap thrills? Enjoy PC-to-Phone calls to 30+ countries for just 2¢/min with Yahoo! Messenger with Voice. Yahoo! Messenger with Voice. Make PC-to-Phone Calls to the US (and 30+ countries) for 2¢/min or less. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 11, 2006 Report Share Posted April 11, 2006 Donna, I'm , How much weight did you lose? Etc,. I am just starting. Any info or advice would be most helpful. Thanksmanisodream wrote: Donna:Congratulations!You inspire me with your inner strength and wisdom. Thanks for your contributions to our group.Francisco>> Hello everyone,> Today is my 1 year anniversary for WLS and I am still 138 and so happy about that. With life this year it's been very difficult with the split of me and my husband, my son's motor reck (he's all healed now) , with 2 boys in college, with all the mental issues of my husband, my dad's death and putting the whole funeral together myself, my mom not doing well with my dad's lose, both step sisters fighting cancer, and my husband's step mom also, it's a hard time ( I know it will get better) I have 663 emails I don't even have time to read, I only do 1 or 2 that I have too at night. Right now I'm working my daycare all day M-F and cleaning houses Sat. doesn't leave much time. I determined not to touch my money for my 2007 China/ Japan trip or my plastic surgery money. So for now I hanging in there pulling life back together, just want to say thank you to all of you for the support through these difficult times. I will be seeing Dr Baggs on Thursday April 13th for my one> year, I look forward to that. Take care and as soon as I can I will start back here. Thanks again. Love Donna J.> > > Donna Jordon> > DSJordon@...> > ---------------------------------> Love cheap thrills? Enjoy PC-to-Phone calls to 30+ countries for just 2¢/min with Yahoo! Messenger with Voice.> Yahoo! Messenger with Voice. Make PC-to-Phone Calls to the US (and 30+ countries) for 2¢/min or less. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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