Re: Digest Number 2202

[Guest guest]

Wow, haven't really read through all of these but the issue is one I deal with. I am preop and I am within spitting distance of getting my operation scheduled. I gotta say occasionally I will eat the chocolate or ice cream bar but I like to include that in my cal count for the day so it evens it out. I think there is a lot of judgemental people when it comes to this surgery and the aftermath of dealing with the surgery. I know my hubby is always commenting on what he thinks I should or should not eat. He realizes as I tell him that this is my call not his. I understand his reactions but it still is the one who has had the surgery or is getting to the surgery, call on what or what not to eat. I get alot out of reading the posts. Just wanted to say hello. My name is Judith and I am 9.5 lbs away from the total weight loss I need. However, I can get scheduled after I lose 4 1/2 lbs. So

wish me luck. take care, Judithgastric-bypass-support-kaiser-patients wrote: There are 13 messages in this issue.Topics in this digest:1. Re: a bit miffedFrom: "Cathy " 2. Re: Your Brother, My CousinsFrom: "Cathy " 3. Re: Lost sister and fatherFrom: Donna Jordon 4. Re: a bit miffedFrom: Donna Jordon 5. Re: a bit miffedFrom: Colleen Garner 6. Re: My BrotherFrom: Colleen Garner 7. Re: For Francisco's CousinsFrom: Colleen Garner 8. Re: Re: FOr Cathy From: Colleen Garner 9. Re: Re: For From: Colleen

Garner 10. Re: a bit miffedFrom: "manisodream" 11. Re: a bit miffedFrom: "manisodream" 12. Re: Your Brother, My CousinsFrom: "manisodream" 13. Re: a bit miffedFrom: "manisodream" ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Message: 1 Date: Wed, 22 Feb 2006 01:55:21 -0000From: "Cathy " Subject: Re: a bit miffedA couple of questions, Francisco. You said you had the Reese's cup after exercising, and you're tracking your diet in Fitday, and all that. Then later you said Janet passed you and saw you eating a protein bar and made her comment. So were these two separate events? Did she actually see you eating the Reese's and make the comment in response to

that, or was her comment totally unrelated? If she had no way of knowing you ate the peanut butter cup earlier, then are you sure there's a direct connection? Even if she saw you eating it rather than a protein bar, she may just have intended a joke rather than a criticism of your food choices. What it sounds like to me is that she may have just been riffing on those Reese's commercials where they show all different ways of eating the peanut butter cups - the vampire who sucks out the middle first, etc. And if so, and she was repeating the tagline from the commercials, it might very well sound judgemental - the ads put the emphasis on the word "you" ("How do YOU eat a Reese's peanut butter cup?") which IMO puts a somewhat uncomfortable emphasis on the listener.You're one of the best people I know at explaining the importance of setting boundaries in order to cope with our disease of morbid obesity, and I'm not

trying to get you to compromise those boundaries. However, one thing I've learned in dealing with boundary issues in other arenas is that I tend to get really defensive if I think my boundaries are being compromised and I overreact. It sounds like you do need to talk with Janet and explain that you're sensitive about comments from people about your food choices, and why - and that your immediate reaction was that her comment was a criticism. She may not realize how it sounded. If it happens again, you'll know that she's not respecting your boundaries. But if this is the first time something like this has happened with her, then you might be misinterpreting the situation and it deserves to be cleared up.Cathy C.We had terrible losses in my family that may be related to WLS. My sister was an alcoholic and bulimic. Throwing up destroyed her nervous system. She drank and took laxitives, and dy-gel to help her go to the bathroom but there was nothing there. This was in 1969. She was 32. One morning she just died. She was so depleted and destroyed, like a victim of the concentration camps. She never told anyone and we could not figure it out until some years later when someone at Overeaters Anonymous described herself with my sister's symptoms and I finally realized what had happened. My father drank and smoked himself into a heart attack at the age of 44. Our family had very high standards and no one quite measured up. I certainly did not. I was distracted at school and was overweight by age 13. No one was there to really understand or

love one another unconditionally. At the same time, I wonder if we don't have an addictive gene. My children all have overeating problems. But it is my sister that sits on my shoulder, so to speak as my guardian angel. She always said. "I hope nothing happens to me before I finally get some help" But, of course, something did happen to her. She is one of the best reasons for my having this surgery before something hapened to me. Of course, something did happen to me: diabetes, high blood pressure, pain and a great deal of fat that kept me from all kinds of sports and joy. Thanks for listening. Lilka

[Guest guest]

Wow, haven't really read through all of these but the issue is one I deal with. I am preop and I am within spitting distance of getting my operation scheduled. I gotta say occasionally I will eat the chocolate or ice cream bar but I like to include that in my cal count for the day so it evens it out. I think there is a lot of judgemental people when it comes to this surgery and the aftermath of dealing with the surgery. I know my hubby is always commenting on what he thinks I should or should not eat. He realizes as I tell him that this is my call not his. I understand his reactions but it still is the one who has had the surgery or is getting to the surgery, call on what or what not to eat. I get alot out of reading the posts. Just wanted to say hello. My name is Judith and I am 9.5 lbs away from the total weight loss I need. However, I can get scheduled after I lose 4 1/2 lbs. So

wish me luck. take care, Judithgastric-bypass-support-kaiser-patients wrote: There are 13 messages in this issue.Topics in this digest:1. Re: a bit miffedFrom: "Cathy " 2. Re: Your Brother, My CousinsFrom: "Cathy " 3. Re: Lost sister and fatherFrom: Donna Jordon 4. Re: a bit miffedFrom: Donna Jordon 5. Re: a bit miffedFrom: Colleen Garner 6. Re: My BrotherFrom: Colleen Garner 7. Re: For Francisco's CousinsFrom: Colleen Garner 8. Re: Re: FOr Cathy From: Colleen Garner 9. Re: Re: For From: Colleen

Garner 10. Re: a bit miffedFrom: "manisodream" 11. Re: a bit miffedFrom: "manisodream" 12. Re: Your Brother, My CousinsFrom: "manisodream" 13. Re: a bit miffedFrom: "manisodream" ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Message: 1 Date: Wed, 22 Feb 2006 01:55:21 -0000From: "Cathy " Subject: Re: a bit miffedA couple of questions, Francisco. You said you had the Reese's cup after exercising, and you're tracking your diet in Fitday, and all that. Then later you said Janet passed you and saw you eating a protein bar and made her comment. So were these two separate events? Did she actually see you eating the Reese's and make the comment in response to

that, or was her comment totally unrelated? If she had no way of knowing you ate the peanut butter cup earlier, then are you sure there's a direct connection? Even if she saw you eating it rather than a protein bar, she may just have intended a joke rather than a criticism of your food choices. What it sounds like to me is that she may have just been riffing on those Reese's commercials where they show all different ways of eating the peanut butter cups - the vampire who sucks out the middle first, etc. And if so, and she was repeating the tagline from the commercials, it might very well sound judgemental - the ads put the emphasis on the word "you" ("How do YOU eat a Reese's peanut butter cup?") which IMO puts a somewhat uncomfortable emphasis on the listener.You're one of the best people I know at explaining the importance of setting boundaries in order to cope with our disease of morbid obesity, and I'm not

trying to get you to compromise those boundaries. However, one thing I've learned in dealing with boundary issues in other arenas is that I tend to get really defensive if I think my boundaries are being compromised and I overreact. It sounds like you do need to talk with Janet and explain that you're sensitive about comments from people about your food choices, and why - and that your immediate reaction was that her comment was a criticism. She may not realize how it sounded. If it happens again, you'll know that she's not respecting your boundaries. But if this is the first time something like this has happened with her, then you might be misinterpreting the situation and it deserves to be cleared up.Cathy C.We had terrible losses in my family that may be related to WLS. My sister was an alcoholic and bulimic. Throwing up destroyed her nervous system. She drank and took laxitives, and dy-gel to help her go to the bathroom but there was nothing there. This was in 1969. She was 32. One morning she just died. She was so depleted and destroyed, like a victim of the concentration camps. She never told anyone and we could not figure it out until some years later when someone at Overeaters Anonymous described herself with my sister's symptoms and I finally realized what had happened. My father drank and smoked himself into a heart attack at the age of 44. Our family had very high standards and no one quite measured up. I certainly did not. I was distracted at school and was overweight by age 13. No one was there to really understand or

love one another unconditionally. At the same time, I wonder if we don't have an addictive gene. My children all have overeating problems. But it is my sister that sits on my shoulder, so to speak as my guardian angel. She always said. "I hope nothing happens to me before I finally get some help" But, of course, something did happen to her. She is one of the best reasons for my having this surgery before something hapened to me. Of course, something did happen to me: diabetes, high blood pressure, pain and a great deal of fat that kept me from all kinds of sports and joy. Thanks for listening. Lilka

[Guest guest]

Hello Judith Welcome to this group, and you are so close to the other side. Keep up the good work. Take care. DonnaJudith Icasiano wrote: Wow, haven't really read through all of these but the issue is one I deal with. I am preop and I am within spitting distance of getting my operation scheduled. I gotta say occasionally I will eat the chocolate or ice cream bar but I like to include that in my cal count for the day so it evens it out. I think there is a lot of judgemental people when it comes to this surgery and the aftermath of dealing with the surgery. I know my hubby is always commenting on what he thinks I should or should not eat. He realizes as I tell him that this is my call not his. I understand his reactions but it still is the one who

has had the surgery or is getting to the surgery, call on what or what not to eat. I get alot out of reading the posts. Just wanted to say hello. My name is Judith and I am 9.5 lbs away from the total weight loss I need. However, I can get scheduled after I lose 4 1/2 lbs. So wish me luck. take care, Judithgastric-bypass-support-kaiser-patients wrote: There are 13 messages in this issue.Topics in this digest:1. Re: a bit miffedFrom: "Cathy " 2. Re: Your Brother, My CousinsFrom: "Cathy " 3. Re: Lost sister and fatherFrom: Donna Jordon 4. Re: a bit miffedFrom: Donna Jordon 5. Re: a

bit miffedFrom: Colleen Garner 6. Re: My BrotherFrom: Colleen Garner 7. Re: For Francisco's CousinsFrom: Colleen Garner 8. Re: Re: FOr Cathy From: Colleen Garner 9. Re: Re: For From: Colleen Garner 10. Re: a bit miffedFrom: "manisodream" 11. Re: a bit miffedFrom: "manisodream" 12. Re: Your Brother, My CousinsFrom: "manisodream" 13. Re: a bit miffedFrom: "manisodream" ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Message: 1 Date: Wed, 22 Feb 2006 01:55:21 -0000From: "Cathy " Subject: Re: a bit miffedA couple of questions, Francisco.

You said you had the Reese's cup after exercising, and you're tracking your diet in Fitday, and all that. Then later you said Janet passed you and saw you eating a protein bar and made her comment. So were these two separate events? Did she actually see you eating the Reese's and make the comment in response to that, or was her comment totally unrelated? If she had no way of knowing you ate the peanut butter cup earlier, then are you sure there's a direct connection? Even if she saw you eating it rather than a protein bar, she may just have intended a joke rather than a criticism of your food choices. What it sounds like to me is that she may have just been riffing on those Reese's commercials where they show all different ways of eating the peanut butter cups - the vampire who sucks out the middle first, etc. And if so, and she was repeating the tagline from the commercials, it might very well sound judgemental - the

ads put the emphasis on the word "you" ("How do YOU eat a Reese's peanut butter cup?") which IMO puts a somewhat uncomfortable emphasis on the listener.You're one of the best people I know at explaining the importance of setting boundaries in order to cope with our disease of morbid obesity, and I'm not trying to get you to compromise those boundaries. However, one thing I've learned in dealing with boundary issues in other arenas is that I tend to get really defensive if I think my boundaries are being compromised and I overreact. It sounds like you do need to talk with Janet and explain that you're sensitive about comments from people about your food choices, and why - and that your immediate reaction was that her comment was a criticism. She may not realize how it sounded. If it happens again, you'll know that she's not respecting your boundaries. But if this is the first time something like this has happened with

her, then you might be misinterpreting the situation and it deserves to be cleared up.Cathy C.We had terrible losses in my family that may be related to WLS. My sister was an alcoholic and bulimic. Throwing up destroyed her nervous system. She drank and took laxitives, and dy-gel to help her go to the bathroom but there was nothing there. This was in 1969. She was 32. One morning she just died. She was so depleted and destroyed, like a victim of the concentration camps. She never told anyone and we could not figure it out until some years later when someone at Overeaters Anonymous described herself with

my sister's symptoms and I finally realized what had happened. My father drank and smoked himself into a heart attack at the age of 44. Our family had very high standards and no one quite measured up. I certainly did not. I was distracted at school and was overweight by age 13. No one was there to really understand or love one another unconditionally. At the same time, I wonder if we don't have an addictive gene. My children all have overeating problems. But it is my sister that sits on my shoulder, so to speak as my guardian angel. She always said. "I hope nothing happens to me before I finally get some help" But, of course, something did happen to her. She is one of the best reasons for my having this surgery before something hapened to me. Of course, something did happen to me: diabetes, high blood pressure, pain and a great deal of fat that kept me from all kinds of sports and joy. Thanks for listening.

Lilka

[Guest guest]

Hello Judith Welcome to this group, and you are so close to the other side. Keep up the good work. Take care. DonnaJudith Icasiano wrote: Wow, haven't really read through all of these but the issue is one I deal with. I am preop and I am within spitting distance of getting my operation scheduled. I gotta say occasionally I will eat the chocolate or ice cream bar but I like to include that in my cal count for the day so it evens it out. I think there is a lot of judgemental people when it comes to this surgery and the aftermath of dealing with the surgery. I know my hubby is always commenting on what he thinks I should or should not eat. He realizes as I tell him that this is my call not his. I understand his reactions but it still is the one who

has had the surgery or is getting to the surgery, call on what or what not to eat. I get alot out of reading the posts. Just wanted to say hello. My name is Judith and I am 9.5 lbs away from the total weight loss I need. However, I can get scheduled after I lose 4 1/2 lbs. So wish me luck. take care, Judithgastric-bypass-support-kaiser-patients wrote: There are 13 messages in this issue.Topics in this digest:1. Re: a bit miffedFrom: "Cathy " 2. Re: Your Brother, My CousinsFrom: "Cathy " 3. Re: Lost sister and fatherFrom: Donna Jordon 4. Re: a bit miffedFrom: Donna Jordon 5. Re: a

bit miffedFrom: Colleen Garner 6. Re: My BrotherFrom: Colleen Garner 7. Re: For Francisco's CousinsFrom: Colleen Garner 8. Re: Re: FOr Cathy From: Colleen Garner 9. Re: Re: For From: Colleen Garner 10. Re: a bit miffedFrom: "manisodream" 11. Re: a bit miffedFrom: "manisodream" 12. Re: Your Brother, My CousinsFrom: "manisodream" 13. Re: a bit miffedFrom: "manisodream" ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Message: 1 Date: Wed, 22 Feb 2006 01:55:21 -0000From: "Cathy " Subject: Re: a bit miffedA couple of questions, Francisco.

You said you had the Reese's cup after exercising, and you're tracking your diet in Fitday, and all that. Then later you said Janet passed you and saw you eating a protein bar and made her comment. So were these two separate events? Did she actually see you eating the Reese's and make the comment in response to that, or was her comment totally unrelated? If she had no way of knowing you ate the peanut butter cup earlier, then are you sure there's a direct connection? Even if she saw you eating it rather than a protein bar, she may just have intended a joke rather than a criticism of your food choices. What it sounds like to me is that she may have just been riffing on those Reese's commercials where they show all different ways of eating the peanut butter cups - the vampire who sucks out the middle first, etc. And if so, and she was repeating the tagline from the commercials, it might very well sound judgemental - the

ads put the emphasis on the word "you" ("How do YOU eat a Reese's peanut butter cup?") which IMO puts a somewhat uncomfortable emphasis on the listener.You're one of the best people I know at explaining the importance of setting boundaries in order to cope with our disease of morbid obesity, and I'm not trying to get you to compromise those boundaries. However, one thing I've learned in dealing with boundary issues in other arenas is that I tend to get really defensive if I think my boundaries are being compromised and I overreact. It sounds like you do need to talk with Janet and explain that you're sensitive about comments from people about your food choices, and why - and that your immediate reaction was that her comment was a criticism. She may not realize how it sounded. If it happens again, you'll know that she's not respecting your boundaries. But if this is the first time something like this has happened with

her, then you might be misinterpreting the situation and it deserves to be cleared up.Cathy C.We had terrible losses in my family that may be related to WLS. My sister was an alcoholic and bulimic. Throwing up destroyed her nervous system. She drank and took laxitives, and dy-gel to help her go to the bathroom but there was nothing there. This was in 1969. She was 32. One morning she just died. She was so depleted and destroyed, like a victim of the concentration camps. She never told anyone and we could not figure it out until some years later when someone at Overeaters Anonymous described herself with

my sister's symptoms and I finally realized what had happened. My father drank and smoked himself into a heart attack at the age of 44. Our family had very high standards and no one quite measured up. I certainly did not. I was distracted at school and was overweight by age 13. No one was there to really understand or love one another unconditionally. At the same time, I wonder if we don't have an addictive gene. My children all have overeating problems. But it is my sister that sits on my shoulder, so to speak as my guardian angel. She always said. "I hope nothing happens to me before I finally get some help" But, of course, something did happen to her. She is one of the best reasons for my having this surgery before something hapened to me. Of course, something did happen to me: diabetes, high blood pressure, pain and a great deal of fat that kept me from all kinds of sports and joy. Thanks for listening.

Lilka