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spouses and the ds

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Hi All,

I wanted to address a question that has been concerning me for a long while.

I was introduced to the bpd/ds by a friend back in march, and at that time

I told her I would check out the lists and websites to see what she was

going to do, but no way would I put myself through all that pain and trauma.

Needless to say, after reading the lists for a couple of months and some

serious thinking about my quality of life, health, and living conditions, I

decided that the bpd/ds was for me. I set up a consultation with dr gagner.

Now here is where I run into problems. Both my husband and myself are very

obese. I am @ 430lbs at 5'10 " while my husband is 6'5 " and must be more

than me, but hasn't weighed in a long time. The last time either of us lost

weight was on phen-phen/redux (we both lost @100lbs before they were taken

off the market). At that time my husband " crashed " like you wouldn't

believe...he felt horrible for months after and says to this day he is not

the same. He developed type-2 diabetes which he completely ignores and

feels he can't handle a diet or weight management plan at this point in his

life. Enter, the bpd/ds.

I am totally convinced that this is the way I want to go. When I told my

husband of my decision, he was appalled. He can't understand why I would

put myself through all the physical trauma of surgery. According to him, he

would rather live a shorter life and be able to eat what he wants, when he

wants, than to go through all the horrific tortures of surgery.

It has come down to the point of no return. My sugery is scheduled for

September 10th with dr gagner at mt. sinai. My husband is freaking out. He

thinks that something bad will happen to me, and, ultimately, he may lose

me. I have tried to reassure him in as many ways as possible...I tell him

of all the success stories on the list, and to be fair, I do tell him

sometimes of the complications that could arise, because I feel that it is

better to be informed. I asked him to read the posts on some of the lists,

and he said he tried, but he just got more freaked out.

Does anyone have such a situation in thier life?? Is there anyone who has a

spouse/close relative who wants to be supportive, but doesn't know how to

handle the situation?? Any advice or ideas would be appreciated. My sugery

is coming up soon, and I an starting to get a bit nervous...having my

husband freak and not being able to share with him isn't helping.

Thanks in advance for your input,

worried,

denise in ny

bmi 63

dr gagner

september 10

_________________________________________________________________

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Guest guest

Hi All,

I wanted to address a question that has been concerning me for a long while.

I was introduced to the bpd/ds by a friend back in march, and at that time

I told her I would check out the lists and websites to see what she was

going to do, but no way would I put myself through all that pain and trauma.

Needless to say, after reading the lists for a couple of months and some

serious thinking about my quality of life, health, and living conditions, I

decided that the bpd/ds was for me. I set up a consultation with dr gagner.

Now here is where I run into problems. Both my husband and myself are very

obese. I am @ 430lbs at 5'10 " while my husband is 6'5 " and must be more

than me, but hasn't weighed in a long time. The last time either of us lost

weight was on phen-phen/redux (we both lost @100lbs before they were taken

off the market). At that time my husband " crashed " like you wouldn't

believe...he felt horrible for months after and says to this day he is not

the same. He developed type-2 diabetes which he completely ignores and

feels he can't handle a diet or weight management plan at this point in his

life. Enter, the bpd/ds.

I am totally convinced that this is the way I want to go. When I told my

husband of my decision, he was appalled. He can't understand why I would

put myself through all the physical trauma of surgery. According to him, he

would rather live a shorter life and be able to eat what he wants, when he

wants, than to go through all the horrific tortures of surgery.

It has come down to the point of no return. My sugery is scheduled for

September 10th with dr gagner at mt. sinai. My husband is freaking out. He

thinks that something bad will happen to me, and, ultimately, he may lose

me. I have tried to reassure him in as many ways as possible...I tell him

of all the success stories on the list, and to be fair, I do tell him

sometimes of the complications that could arise, because I feel that it is

better to be informed. I asked him to read the posts on some of the lists,

and he said he tried, but he just got more freaked out.

Does anyone have such a situation in thier life?? Is there anyone who has a

spouse/close relative who wants to be supportive, but doesn't know how to

handle the situation?? Any advice or ideas would be appreciated. My sugery

is coming up soon, and I an starting to get a bit nervous...having my

husband freak and not being able to share with him isn't helping.

Thanks in advance for your input,

worried,

denise in ny

bmi 63

dr gagner

september 10

_________________________________________________________________

Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com/intl.asp

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