Guest guest Posted February 28, 2006 Report Share Posted February 28, 2006 Randy: Thanks for your kind words. I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed by life lately. Got my taxes done and yikes! I owe. I was out every night last week on a date. Some new guys, some guys I've seen before, and I can't believe how men keep coming across my path. Yet my heart is missing Steve. He's down in LA with his son, and he's had to take his son to the hospital due to Chron's disease. I saved his last voice mail on my machine so that I can hear his voice when I want to. He's called me several times to ask how I'm doing. The uncertainty I feel about love and life is uncomfortable. Steve wasn't looking for a relationship, but our paths have crossed. We still don't know where things are going between us, so I've continued to see other guys until I have an indication that Steve and I are going to be exclusive (which is what I'd want). Then an old flame surfaced last week--. And is one handsome man. I had a big crush on him when we dated last year. Our first date was an evening picnic at the beach. He brought me dinner from a fancy deli, and we sat on the beach, watching the distant bonfires as we cuddled under the stars. likes to whisper sweet nothings to me in Spanish, which drives me wild. He's got a great career, and he a fantastic dancer. We stopped seeing each other last year when he couldn't commit. We're seeing each other again this week for dinner and DVDs. I've convinced myself not to expect anything other than friendship. So being at goal weight hasn't made life any easier. In fact, it's forced me to face things honestly because I can't hide behind the excuse of being morbidly obese. Don't get me wrong. Dating is so much fun, but I'm such a tender-hearted romantic. I'd give up dating in an instant if Steve asked me to. When I'm with him, my heart feels at ease. Even now that he's far away, I think about him all the time, and even with the uncertainty there is a certain level of comfort with him that I haven't felt with other guys. I'm rambling now, but I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. Despite all the twists and turns of my romantic life, my weight has not crept back up. Staying mindful and focused on my health, despite the heart matters, is the key, and being part of this group helps me so much. Randy, I've lit a candle for you at church. I hope it's OK that I did that. Keep your outlook positive, and remember that we'll be here for you. Francisco > > Dear Francisco, > > I have never met you. I have only been in this group for a week or > two. And already, with no doubts whatsoever, I find you fascinating > and inspiring and a marvelous role model in many ways. If I can > approach my upcoming treatment with your humor and tough-mindedness > and dedication and open-hearted hope and emotion, I can beat cancer. > > Randy > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 28, 2006 Report Share Posted February 28, 2006 Randy: Thanks for your kind words. I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed by life lately. Got my taxes done and yikes! I owe. I was out every night last week on a date. Some new guys, some guys I've seen before, and I can't believe how men keep coming across my path. Yet my heart is missing Steve. He's down in LA with his son, and he's had to take his son to the hospital due to Chron's disease. I saved his last voice mail on my machine so that I can hear his voice when I want to. He's called me several times to ask how I'm doing. The uncertainty I feel about love and life is uncomfortable. Steve wasn't looking for a relationship, but our paths have crossed. We still don't know where things are going between us, so I've continued to see other guys until I have an indication that Steve and I are going to be exclusive (which is what I'd want). Then an old flame surfaced last week--. And is one handsome man. I had a big crush on him when we dated last year. Our first date was an evening picnic at the beach. He brought me dinner from a fancy deli, and we sat on the beach, watching the distant bonfires as we cuddled under the stars. likes to whisper sweet nothings to me in Spanish, which drives me wild. He's got a great career, and he a fantastic dancer. We stopped seeing each other last year when he couldn't commit. We're seeing each other again this week for dinner and DVDs. I've convinced myself not to expect anything other than friendship. So being at goal weight hasn't made life any easier. In fact, it's forced me to face things honestly because I can't hide behind the excuse of being morbidly obese. Don't get me wrong. Dating is so much fun, but I'm such a tender-hearted romantic. I'd give up dating in an instant if Steve asked me to. When I'm with him, my heart feels at ease. Even now that he's far away, I think about him all the time, and even with the uncertainty there is a certain level of comfort with him that I haven't felt with other guys. I'm rambling now, but I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. Despite all the twists and turns of my romantic life, my weight has not crept back up. Staying mindful and focused on my health, despite the heart matters, is the key, and being part of this group helps me so much. Randy, I've lit a candle for you at church. I hope it's OK that I did that. Keep your outlook positive, and remember that we'll be here for you. Francisco > > Dear Francisco, > > I have never met you. I have only been in this group for a week or > two. And already, with no doubts whatsoever, I find you fascinating > and inspiring and a marvelous role model in many ways. If I can > approach my upcoming treatment with your humor and tough-mindedness > and dedication and open-hearted hope and emotion, I can beat cancer. > > Randy > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 28, 2006 Report Share Posted February 28, 2006 Francisco... HECTOR??? This isn't the same one, IS IT??!?!?! OK, friend, we need to talk. ; ) As far as Steve...have you tried being honest with him, letting him know that you really like him, and would like to think about exclusivity with him? Sometimes people say that they aren't "looking for a relationship" as a self-protective measure. You know, "I don't want him to think I'm clingy or needy...I need to be light and breezy...maybe I'll push him away if he thinks I want something real and connected." and in that fear...they say that they are only interested in having fun right now. I'm not saying you should rush it...but exclusivity doens't mean marriage and babies and commitment ceremonies. It just means that you are both going to focus your attentions on each other long enough to really know whether there is something real and worthwhile to pursue. I don't know...it depends upon the guy, of course. But, i have found that honesty works well. It weeds out the ones who aren't interested and genuine...and it usually ignites the ones who are genuine. Also, some of the ones who are not looking for something real...well, if you just say, "Well, that's cool and fine, but I'm looking for more. You are great, I enjoy your company...and if you decide you want to explore something meaningful, give me a call. Otherwise, I'm continuing on my search for someone special, with whom I connect...like you...but who is also willing, ready and a ble to take a risk on having something real." Trust me, I've never given that speech to a guy that hasn't later come back, hat in hand...or even ring in hand. It shows that you aren't willing to compromise for something less than you deserve. It shows that you have self-respect, and that you are a serious person with ethics. People like that, and respect that... At least that has been my experience... Love you, Francisco... Robynnmanisodream wrote: Randy:Thanks for your kind words. I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed by life lately. Got my taxes done and yikes! I owe. I was out every night last week on a date. Some new guys, some guys I've seen before, and I can't believe how men keep coming across my path.Yet my heart is missing Steve. He's down in LA with his son, and he's had to take his son to the hospital due to Chron's disease. I saved his last voice mail on my machine so that I can hear his voice when I want to. He's called me several times to ask how I'm doing.The uncertainty I feel about love and life is uncomfortable. Steve wasn't looking for a relationship, but our paths have crossed. We still don't know where things are going between us, so I've continued to see other guys until I have an indication that Steve and I are going to be exclusive (which is what I'd want).Then an old flame surfaced last week--. And is one handsome man. I had a big crush on him when we dated last year. Our first date was an evening picnic at the beach. He brought me dinner from a fancy deli, and we sat on the beach, watching the distant bonfires as we cuddled under the stars. likes to whisper sweet nothings to me in Spanish, which drives me wild. He's got a great career, and he a fantastic dancer. We stopped seeing each other last year when he couldn't commit. We're seeing each other again this week for dinner and DVDs. I've convinced myself not to expect anything other than friendship.So being at goal weight hasn't made life any easier. In fact, it's forced me to face things honestly because I can't hide behind the excuse of being morbidly obese. Don't get me wrong. Dating is so much fun, but I'm such a tender-hearted romantic. I'd give up dating in an instant if Steve asked me to.When I'm with him, my heart feels at ease. Even now that he's far away, I think about him all the time, and even with the uncertainty there is a certain level of comfort with him that I haven't felt with other guys.I'm rambling now, but I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. Despite all the twists and turns of my romantic life, my weight has not crept back up. Staying mindful and focused on my health, despite the heart matters, is the key, and being part of this group helps me so much.Randy, I've lit a candle for you at church. I hope it's OK that I did that. Keep your outlook positive, and remember that we'll be here for you.Francisco>> Dear Francisco,> > I have never met you. I have only been in this group for a week or > two. And already, with no doubts whatsoever, I find you fascinating > and inspiring and a marvelous role model in many ways. If I can > approach my upcoming treatment with your humor and tough-mindedness > and dedication and open-hearted hope and emotion, I can beat cancer.> > Randy> > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 28, 2006 Report Share Posted February 28, 2006 Francisco... HECTOR??? This isn't the same one, IS IT??!?!?! OK, friend, we need to talk. ; ) As far as Steve...have you tried being honest with him, letting him know that you really like him, and would like to think about exclusivity with him? Sometimes people say that they aren't "looking for a relationship" as a self-protective measure. You know, "I don't want him to think I'm clingy or needy...I need to be light and breezy...maybe I'll push him away if he thinks I want something real and connected." and in that fear...they say that they are only interested in having fun right now. I'm not saying you should rush it...but exclusivity doens't mean marriage and babies and commitment ceremonies. It just means that you are both going to focus your attentions on each other long enough to really know whether there is something real and worthwhile to pursue. I don't know...it depends upon the guy, of course. But, i have found that honesty works well. It weeds out the ones who aren't interested and genuine...and it usually ignites the ones who are genuine. Also, some of the ones who are not looking for something real...well, if you just say, "Well, that's cool and fine, but I'm looking for more. You are great, I enjoy your company...and if you decide you want to explore something meaningful, give me a call. Otherwise, I'm continuing on my search for someone special, with whom I connect...like you...but who is also willing, ready and a ble to take a risk on having something real." Trust me, I've never given that speech to a guy that hasn't later come back, hat in hand...or even ring in hand. It shows that you aren't willing to compromise for something less than you deserve. It shows that you have self-respect, and that you are a serious person with ethics. People like that, and respect that... At least that has been my experience... Love you, Francisco... Robynnmanisodream wrote: Randy:Thanks for your kind words. I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed by life lately. Got my taxes done and yikes! I owe. I was out every night last week on a date. Some new guys, some guys I've seen before, and I can't believe how men keep coming across my path.Yet my heart is missing Steve. He's down in LA with his son, and he's had to take his son to the hospital due to Chron's disease. I saved his last voice mail on my machine so that I can hear his voice when I want to. He's called me several times to ask how I'm doing.The uncertainty I feel about love and life is uncomfortable. Steve wasn't looking for a relationship, but our paths have crossed. We still don't know where things are going between us, so I've continued to see other guys until I have an indication that Steve and I are going to be exclusive (which is what I'd want).Then an old flame surfaced last week--. And is one handsome man. I had a big crush on him when we dated last year. Our first date was an evening picnic at the beach. He brought me dinner from a fancy deli, and we sat on the beach, watching the distant bonfires as we cuddled under the stars. likes to whisper sweet nothings to me in Spanish, which drives me wild. He's got a great career, and he a fantastic dancer. We stopped seeing each other last year when he couldn't commit. We're seeing each other again this week for dinner and DVDs. I've convinced myself not to expect anything other than friendship.So being at goal weight hasn't made life any easier. In fact, it's forced me to face things honestly because I can't hide behind the excuse of being morbidly obese. Don't get me wrong. Dating is so much fun, but I'm such a tender-hearted romantic. I'd give up dating in an instant if Steve asked me to.When I'm with him, my heart feels at ease. Even now that he's far away, I think about him all the time, and even with the uncertainty there is a certain level of comfort with him that I haven't felt with other guys.I'm rambling now, but I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. Despite all the twists and turns of my romantic life, my weight has not crept back up. Staying mindful and focused on my health, despite the heart matters, is the key, and being part of this group helps me so much.Randy, I've lit a candle for you at church. I hope it's OK that I did that. Keep your outlook positive, and remember that we'll be here for you.Francisco>> Dear Francisco,> > I have never met you. I have only been in this group for a week or > two. And already, with no doubts whatsoever, I find you fascinating > and inspiring and a marvelous role model in many ways. If I can > approach my upcoming treatment with your humor and tough-mindedness > and dedication and open-hearted hope and emotion, I can beat cancer.> > Randy> > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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