Guest guest Posted January 18, 2006 Report Share Posted January 18, 2006 Lilka, I read your post and very interesting I must say. I am not sure if I would call it arrogant but rather feeling freedom to speak our minds whereas too often we don't when we are fat/over weight. Too many times when we are fat/over weight, we tend to be people pleasers so to us (not speaking for everyone) we tend to do what makes others happy and we are more cautious to not hurt their feelings thereby, we are not really be honest at all and it is a onesided situation. When we lose the weight, we feel good and a sense of entitlement. Entitlement to the extent where we are entitled to our opinions and thoughts and we are entitled to speak our minds as others feel so freely to. It should have been this way all along. So when we step out their and we become comfortable with who we are and who we have become it just might come across that way because of course people are not use to us being like this. Just a thought. And about the caps thing...it is quite alright by me if it was the power thingie - lol. Pam Marsh --- Lilka wrote: > i THINK THAT OUR SOCIETY SHAMES US SO MUCH ABOUT > BEING FAT THAT WE > LOSE OUR POWER. wHEN i WAS IN THE nATIONAL aSSOC FOR > THE aDVANCEMENT > OF fAT aCCEPTANCE, i REGAINED SOME POWER IN SPITE OF > MY WEIGHT. wHEN > WE LOSE WEIGHT, WE REGAIN OUR POWER AND THAT GOES ON > FOR A WHILE. > fINALLY, WE ARE JUST NORMAL AND WE HAVE TO COPE WITH > OUR REAL SELVES. > i HATE THAT OUR SOCIETY DISEMPOWERS US. bUT WHEN WE > ARE FAT AND > POWERFUL WE CAN LOSE THE POWER WHEN PAIN AND ILLNESS > COMES ALONG. THEN > WE REALLY DO LOSE OUR POWER AND WE ARE DIABLED. i > HAVE HATED THAT SO > MUCH. mY HUSBAND WORRIES THAT WHEN i LOSE THE > WEIGHT, i WILL BECOME > AROGANT AND BOSSY. mAYBE IN THE PAST, BUT TODAY i AM > TOO AWARE OF THIS > GAME WE PLAY WITH POWER AND TOO MAD AT THE WORLD > THAT MAKES US FEEL > POWERLESS, UNSEXY, AND EVEN UNTOUCHABLE. i AM ALSO > MUCH MORE HUMBLE > TODAY AND DETACHED FROM MY ACTUAL WEIGHT. oNLY THE > PAIN BRINGS ME > DOWN. > lILKA > PS I am sorry about the caps. I hit the wrong > button. It had nothing > to do with power. > > > > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 18, 2006 Report Share Posted January 18, 2006 Lilka I agree with you, I also say we don't always stick up for our self when heavy, don't want to draw attention to our self (rock the boat). After weight loss and knowing we have always been worth respect, love, boundaries on and on, we start to stick up for our self a little more, and the people that truly love you and are supportive understand, but believe me there are some who don't and you can lose a friend or co worked, a person here or there. With me it's very hard for me with my husband, with his mental illness all the ups and downs, he hates more now than ever for me to go even to buy groceries when he's down. Then talking about plastic surgery, he just doesn't understand why I would do that. You look great (in clothes), I only see you other wise he says. I want to wear a swim suit, shorts, short sleeve shirt and I won't now due to skin sag, and mine isn't majorly bad, I still really HATE it. So lots of things change and when you love yourself and know you deserve better, not every one reads it the same. Take care. DonnaLilka wrote: i THINK THAT OUR SOCIETY SHAMES US SO MUCH ABOUT BEING FAT THAT WE LOSE OUR POWER. wHEN i WAS IN THE nATIONAL aSSOC FOR THE aDVANCEMENT OF fAT aCCEPTANCE, i REGAINED SOME POWER IN SPITE OF MY WEIGHT. wHEN WE LOSE WEIGHT, WE REGAIN OUR POWER AND THAT GOES ON FOR A WHILE. fINALLY, WE ARE JUST NORMAL AND WE HAVE TO COPE WITH OUR REAL SELVES. i HATE THAT OUR SOCIETY DISEMPOWERS US. bUT WHEN WE ARE FAT AND POWERFUL WE CAN LOSE THE POWER WHEN PAIN AND ILLNESS COMES ALONG. THEN WE REALLY DO LOSE OUR POWER AND WE ARE DIABLED. i HAVE HATED THAT SO MUCH. mY HUSBAND WORRIES THAT WHEN i LOSE THE WEIGHT, i WILL BECOME AROGANT AND BOSSY. mAYBE IN THE PAST, BUT TODAY i AM TOO AWARE OF THIS GAME WE PLAY WITH POWER AND TOO MAD AT THE WORLD THAT MAKES US FEEL POWERLESS, UNSEXY, AND EVEN UNTOUCHABLE. i AM ALSO MUCH MORE HUMBLE TODAY AND DETACHED FROM MY ACTUAL WEIGHT. oNLY THE PAIN BRINGS ME DOWN. lILKAPS I am sorry about the caps. I hit the wrong button. It had nothing to do with power. Donna JordonDSJordon@... Yahoo! Photos Ring in the New Year with Photo Calendars. Add photos, events, holidays, whatever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 18, 2006 Report Share Posted January 18, 2006 Pam I typed a post to Lilka, then I read yours. We think so much a like. I always love your input. Take care. DonnaPamela A Marsh wrote: Lilka, I read your post and very interesting I mustsay. I am not sure if I would call it arrogant butrather feeling freedom to speak our minds whereas toooften we don't when we are fat/over weight. Too manytimes when we are fat/over weight, we tend to bepeople pleasers so to us (not speaking for everyone)we tend to do what makes others happy and we are morecautious to not hurt their feelings thereby, we arenot really be honest at all and it is a onesidedsituation. When we lose the weight, we feel good anda sense of entitlement. Entitlement to the extentwhere we are entitled to our opinions and thoughts andwe are entitled to speak our minds as others feel sofreely to. It should have been this way all along. So when we step out their and we become comfortablewith who we are and who we have become it just mightcome across that way because of course people are notuse to us being like this. Just a thought. And aboutthe caps thing...it is quite alright by me if it wasthe power thingie - lol.Pam Marsh--- Lilka wrote:> i THINK THAT OUR SOCIETY SHAMES US SO MUCH ABOUT> BEING FAT THAT WE > LOSE OUR POWER. wHEN i WAS IN THE nATIONAL aSSOC FOR> THE aDVANCEMENT > OF fAT aCCEPTANCE, i REGAINED SOME POWER IN SPITE OF> MY WEIGHT. wHEN > WE LOSE WEIGHT, WE REGAIN OUR POWER AND THAT GOES ON> FOR A WHILE. > fINALLY, WE ARE JUST NORMAL AND WE HAVE TO COPE WITH> OUR REAL SELVES. > i HATE THAT OUR SOCIETY DISEMPOWERS US. bUT WHEN WE> ARE FAT AND > POWERFUL WE CAN LOSE THE POWER WHEN PAIN AND ILLNESS> COMES ALONG. THEN > WE REALLY DO LOSE OUR POWER AND WE ARE DIABLED. i> HAVE HATED THAT SO > MUCH. mY HUSBAND WORRIES THAT WHEN i LOSE THE> WEIGHT, i WILL BECOME > AROGANT AND BOSSY. mAYBE IN THE PAST, BUT TODAY i AM> TOO AWARE OF THIS > GAME WE PLAY WITH POWER AND TOO MAD AT THE WORLD> THAT MAKES US FEEL > POWERLESS, UNSEXY, AND EVEN UNTOUCHABLE. i AM ALSO> MUCH MORE HUMBLE > TODAY AND DETACHED FROM MY ACTUAL WEIGHT. oNLY THE> PAIN BRINGS ME > DOWN. > lILKA> PS I am sorry about the caps. I hit the wrong> button. It had nothing > to do with power.> > > > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 18, 2006 Report Share Posted January 18, 2006 WEll, I didn't get to the Oakland support group tonite. Hubby has an ear infection, daughter is having psych issues, and also had lots of homework to get done. When will I quit putting myself last? Ever? Never? It always feels " necessary " to do what's best for the family. Gonna try again for Martha's meeting in two weeks. Laurie __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 19, 2006 Report Share Posted January 19, 2006 Thins Happen. Just get there when you can. Be encouraged. Pam Marsh --- LLLORY@... wrote: > WEll, I didn't get to the Oakland support group > tonite. Hubby has an ear infection, daughter is > having psych issues, and also had lots of homework > to > get done. When will I quit putting myself last? > Ever? Never? It always feels " necessary " to do > what's best for the family. Gonna try again for > Martha's meeting in two weeks. > Laurie > > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 19, 2006 Report Share Posted January 19, 2006 Donna, that is great. I think we are all pretty much on the same page with out thoughts concerning this issue. We have just got to keep pressing on inspite of. This is definitely something that we have to have support with FOREVER. Pam Marsh --- Donna Jordon wrote: > Pam > I typed a post to Lilka, then I read yours. We > think so much a like. I always love your input. > Take care. Donna > > Pamela A Marsh wrote: > Lilka, I read your post and very interesting I > must > say. I am not sure if I would call it arrogant but > rather feeling freedom to speak our minds whereas > too > often we don't when we are fat/over weight. Too > many > times when we are fat/over weight, we tend to be > people pleasers so to us (not speaking for everyone) > we tend to do what makes others happy and we are > more > cautious to not hurt their feelings thereby, we are > not really be honest at all and it is a onesided > situation. When we lose the weight, we feel good > and > a sense of entitlement. Entitlement to the extent > where we are entitled to our opinions and thoughts > and > we are entitled to speak our minds as others feel so > freely to. It should have been this way all along. > So when we step out their and we become comfortable > with who we are and who we have become it just might > come across that way because of course people are > not > use to us being like this. Just a thought. And > about > the caps thing...it is quite alright by me if it was > the power thingie - lol. > > Pam Marsh > > --- Lilka wrote: > > > i THINK THAT OUR SOCIETY SHAMES US SO MUCH ABOUT > > BEING FAT THAT WE > > LOSE OUR POWER. wHEN i WAS IN THE nATIONAL aSSOC > FOR > > THE aDVANCEMENT > > OF fAT aCCEPTANCE, i REGAINED SOME POWER IN SPITE > OF > > MY WEIGHT. wHEN > > WE LOSE WEIGHT, WE REGAIN OUR POWER AND THAT GOES > ON > > FOR A WHILE. > > fINALLY, WE ARE JUST NORMAL AND WE HAVE TO COPE > WITH > > OUR REAL SELVES. > > i HATE THAT OUR SOCIETY DISEMPOWERS US. bUT WHEN > WE > > ARE FAT AND > > POWERFUL WE CAN LOSE THE POWER WHEN PAIN AND > ILLNESS > > COMES ALONG. THEN > > WE REALLY DO LOSE OUR POWER AND WE ARE DIABLED. i > > HAVE HATED THAT SO > > MUCH. mY HUSBAND WORRIES THAT WHEN i LOSE THE > > WEIGHT, i WILL BECOME > > AROGANT AND BOSSY. mAYBE IN THE PAST, BUT TODAY i > AM > > TOO AWARE OF THIS > > GAME WE PLAY WITH POWER AND TOO MAD AT THE WORLD > > THAT MAKES US FEEL > > POWERLESS, UNSEXY, AND EVEN UNTOUCHABLE. i AM ALSO > > MUCH MORE HUMBLE > > TODAY AND DETACHED FROM MY ACTUAL WEIGHT. oNLY THE > > PAIN BRINGS ME > > DOWN. > > lILKA > > PS I am sorry about the caps. I hit the wrong > > button. It had nothing > > to do with power. > > > > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 19, 2006 Report Share Posted January 19, 2006 Thanks Pam. I haven't been to a meeting since August, and really feel that I need to get back to help me get back on track. If I WERE what I eat, I would be a big ole bag of microwave popcorn drowned in a chocolate protein shake. LOL Laurie __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 19, 2006 Report Share Posted January 19, 2006 That is so cute. I eat the popcorn to and I know it can be addictive so I try to have it maybe twice a month but only a handful (which is not good either but its better than the whole bag and I have learned not to lose control so that is a plus). I know what you mean about the protein shake - lol. My last meeting was August to. I don't get home until after 6:00 and you know how it is with homework, cooking so I am unable to make it there because my husband does not get home until after 8:30 and my boys are autistic so they can't be left alone. The room in Vacaville is crowded and very limited seating so I am not sure if it is a good idea to take them as disrupting their schedule could wreak havic for them. Nonetheless, I stay on here all day everyday and this is helping me out tremendously. Take care and hang in there. Be encouraged. Pam Marsh --- LLLORY@... wrote: > Thanks Pam. I haven't been to a meeting since > August, > and really feel that I need to get back to help me > get > back on track. If I WERE what I eat, I would be a > big ole bag of microwave popcorn drowned in a > chocolate protein shake. LOL > Laurie > > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 19, 2006 Report Share Posted January 19, 2006 Wow, Pam, good for you! My popcorn eating is waay out of control. I have the cheddar cheese flavored stuff. Yum. I'll be glad when I'm out of it. Won't buy that again! I'm sorry you're having such a hard time getting to the meetings, too. Maybe we could get something scheduled live in our chatroom...have a topic to cover, and everything. I think that would be helpful. Best, Laurie __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 21, 2006 Report Share Posted January 21, 2006 Laurie, that sounds nice. When the popcorn is gone, if you don't have kids that love the stuff, then you are okay. My kids love it and we buy the snack size bags which are small. I normally take a handful and leave it alone. I will cut it out all together by the end of this month. Now that is my goal. Wish me luck. Pam Marsh --- LLLORY@... wrote: > Wow, Pam, good for you! My popcorn eating is waay > out > of control. I have the cheddar cheese flavored > stuff. > Yum. I'll be glad when I'm out of it. Won't buy > that again! > I'm sorry you're having such a hard time getting to > the meetings, too. Maybe we could get something > scheduled live in our chatroom...have a topic to > cover, and everything. I think that would be > helpful. > Best, > Laurie > > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 21, 2006 Report Share Posted January 21, 2006 Pam, I'm getting some e-mails a day or so late. Didn't mean to ignore you in your fight against popcorn. LOL Wishing us both popcorn free days ahead! Laurie __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 22, 2006 Report Share Posted January 22, 2006 LOL, I just got this. I am slow with reading. I hardly come on in the afternoons or weekends but decided to read tonight. Thanks for your support. Together we are going to make it hon. Lets be thankful its just popcorn and not chocolate. Pam Marsh --- LLLORY@... wrote: > Pam, I'm getting some e-mails a day or so late. > Didn't mean to ignore you in your fight against > popcorn. LOL > Wishing us both popcorn free days ahead! > Laurie > > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 22, 2006 Report Share Posted January 22, 2006 LOL, I just got this. I am slow with reading. I hardly come on in the afternoons or weekends but decided to read tonight. Thanks for your support. Together we are going to make it hon. Lets be thankful its just popcorn and not chocolate. Pam Marsh --- LLLORY@... wrote: > Pam, I'm getting some e-mails a day or so late. > Didn't mean to ignore you in your fight against > popcorn. LOL > Wishing us both popcorn free days ahead! > Laurie > > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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