Daily life is difficult as you all know. venting

[Guest guest]

I think what I am having problems with has nothing to do with the

medial, feeding cleaning and tending to my very handicapped son.

Eli was born feb 15 2003 most people don't know that he was a day

late. He should have been born on The 14th. I think he wanted a day

all his own. well there is never any confution between loving my

child and caring for him. My mind starts to waver when I think of on

down the road and say this is after he is gone. 1s will I be able to

go on with out my preacious Eli and the husband wife thing.

When we were frist given the news about Eli. We cried and through

those tears we made an agreement not to ever leave our son. He needs

us now and we will be there. I guess we should have spent more about

us how all this has affected our family now and in the future. I

have been told to find some interests so I wont feel such a loss

when Eli dies. I waited a whole year before i dragged the idea out

again. Chad and I work so well as a team taking care of everything.

I am worried when there isn't anything to tend to what will happen

to us. Only God know. People just keep telling have many couples

split up after the death of their child. I pray that we will be

differant. I want so much more in life with my husband and yet I

still have time with my Eli snuggling and kissing.

Ann (Eli's Mommy) Leigh's disease will be 2 Feb 15

Elijah's Page

" http://www.caringbridge.org/co/elijahkurtz "

[Guest guest]

I think what I am having problems with has nothing to do with the

medial, feeding cleaning and tending to my very handicapped son.

Eli was born feb 15 2003 most people don't know that he was a day

late. He should have been born on The 14th. I think he wanted a day

all his own. well there is never any confution between loving my

child and caring for him. My mind starts to waver when I think of on

down the road and say this is after he is gone. 1s will I be able to

go on with out my preacious Eli and the husband wife thing.

When we were frist given the news about Eli. We cried and through

those tears we made an agreement not to ever leave our son. He needs

us now and we will be there. I guess we should have spent more about

us how all this has affected our family now and in the future. I

have been told to find some interests so I wont feel such a loss

when Eli dies. I waited a whole year before i dragged the idea out

again. Chad and I work so well as a team taking care of everything.

I am worried when there isn't anything to tend to what will happen

to us. Only God know. People just keep telling have many couples

split up after the death of their child. I pray that we will be

differant. I want so much more in life with my husband and yet I

still have time with my Eli snuggling and kissing.

Ann (Eli's Mommy) Leigh's disease will be 2 Feb 15

Elijah's Page

" http://www.caringbridge.org/co/elijahkurtz "

[Guest guest]

HI there

I understand your concerns and they are valid. As someone on 'the other side' of their child's death, I can tell you that your marriage can survive. I also know people love to tell you the 'statistics". The Compassionate Friends which is an international support group for people who have lost children have done their own polls. What they found is that the divorce rate reported in general public is not nearly as high...only about 14% compared to the 80% most people want to tell you about. They also found that of the divorced couples, only a small percentage of them attributed their divorce to the death of their child and sited problems way before the death.

Hopefully that will comfort you in some way...it is hard and yes, distractions do help. The first year is really numb and the second year is harder for some. Hang in there for now and just try to soak up everything you can of Eli...take lots of pictures too. I highly suggest investing in a digital camera...I got one after died and I could kick myself for not getting it sooner. There is a certain grace in the days you are facing...in just being with Eli and loving him with every ounce of your being. You are welcome to email me offlist any time you would like...

mom to (07.04.96-05.26.03) with Mitochondrial disease, complex I and IV....Gaige, 5, with High Functioning Autism...Bliss, 3, with very very mild cerebral palsy and True, born 01.18.05 and married to one swell man! www.LifeofLoveProject.orgwww.debwells.com

[Guest guest]

HI there

I understand your concerns and they are valid. As someone on 'the other side' of their child's death, I can tell you that your marriage can survive. I also know people love to tell you the 'statistics". The Compassionate Friends which is an international support group for people who have lost children have done their own polls. What they found is that the divorce rate reported in general public is not nearly as high...only about 14% compared to the 80% most people want to tell you about. They also found that of the divorced couples, only a small percentage of them attributed their divorce to the death of their child and sited problems way before the death.

Hopefully that will comfort you in some way...it is hard and yes, distractions do help. The first year is really numb and the second year is harder for some. Hang in there for now and just try to soak up everything you can of Eli...take lots of pictures too. I highly suggest investing in a digital camera...I got one after died and I could kick myself for not getting it sooner. There is a certain grace in the days you are facing...in just being with Eli and loving him with every ounce of your being. You are welcome to email me offlist any time you would like...

mom to (07.04.96-05.26.03) with Mitochondrial disease, complex I and IV....Gaige, 5, with High Functioning Autism...Bliss, 3, with very very mild cerebral palsy and True, born 01.18.05 and married to one swell man! www.LifeofLoveProject.orgwww.debwells.com

[Guest guest]

Dear Ann,

Losing a child has got to be the hardest and most life changing thing that

could ever happen to someone. After Aspyn passed away our lives were left

so quiet, and empty. We cam home to a house that had toys that wouldn't be

played with again, a bed that wouldn't be slept in again, all we had was

each other. Even though we had family that helped us very much, really the

only other person that can understand the loss of your child is your

husband. I was so worried to about divorce, but I have to say that after

Aspyn passed away, Wayne and I actually became closer. We both decided that

if one of us needed to talk the other was there to listen, even if Wayne was

having a good day finally, and I needed to talk about Aspyn and cry, he

talked and cried with me.

The thing that we did not have to deal with is knowing Aspyn was going to

die, we knew she had mito, but did not know much about it, we actually

thought she was going to get better. Dr. Whiteman asked us not to research

it because he did not think Aspyns was that bad and did not want us to get

worked up for nothing, so when Aspyn got so sick, it was a huge shock. I am

so sorry you all have to go through each day this way, I cant imagine the

pain in your heart.

take care, and love him, and hold him, when the day comes that he wont be

here, those will be your best memories.

Thoughts and prayers,

Wayne, , Gentry and ~Our Angel Aspyn~

www.aspynblock.com

Daily life is difficult as you all know. venting

>

>

> I think what I am having problems with has nothing to do with the

> medial, feeding cleaning and tending to my very handicapped son.

> Eli was born feb 15 2003 most people don't know that he was a day

> late. He should have been born on The 14th. I think he wanted a day

> all his own. well there is never any confution between loving my

> child and caring for him. My mind starts to waver when I think of on

> down the road and say this is after he is gone. 1s will I be able to

> go on with out my preacious Eli and the husband wife thing.

>

> When we were frist given the news about Eli. We cried and through

> those tears we made an agreement not to ever leave our son. He needs

> us now and we will be there. I guess we should have spent more about

> us how all this has affected our family now and in the future. I

> have been told to find some interests so I wont feel such a loss

> when Eli dies. I waited a whole year before i dragged the idea out

> again. Chad and I work so well as a team taking care of everything.

> I am worried when there isn't anything to tend to what will happen

> to us. Only God know. People just keep telling have many couples

> split up after the death of their child. I pray that we will be

> differant. I want so much more in life with my husband and yet I

> still have time with my Eli snuggling and kissing.

>

> Ann (Eli's Mommy) Leigh's disease will be 2 Feb 15

> Elijah's Page

> " http://www.caringbridge.org/co/elijahkurtz "

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Please contact mito-owner with any problems or questions.

>

[Guest guest]

Dear Ann,

Losing a child has got to be the hardest and most life changing thing that

could ever happen to someone. After Aspyn passed away our lives were left

so quiet, and empty. We cam home to a house that had toys that wouldn't be

played with again, a bed that wouldn't be slept in again, all we had was

each other. Even though we had family that helped us very much, really the

only other person that can understand the loss of your child is your

husband. I was so worried to about divorce, but I have to say that after

Aspyn passed away, Wayne and I actually became closer. We both decided that

if one of us needed to talk the other was there to listen, even if Wayne was

having a good day finally, and I needed to talk about Aspyn and cry, he

talked and cried with me.

The thing that we did not have to deal with is knowing Aspyn was going to

die, we knew she had mito, but did not know much about it, we actually

thought she was going to get better. Dr. Whiteman asked us not to research

it because he did not think Aspyns was that bad and did not want us to get

worked up for nothing, so when Aspyn got so sick, it was a huge shock. I am

so sorry you all have to go through each day this way, I cant imagine the

pain in your heart.

take care, and love him, and hold him, when the day comes that he wont be

here, those will be your best memories.

Thoughts and prayers,

Wayne, , Gentry and ~Our Angel Aspyn~

www.aspynblock.com

Daily life is difficult as you all know. venting

>

>

> I think what I am having problems with has nothing to do with the

> medial, feeding cleaning and tending to my very handicapped son.

> Eli was born feb 15 2003 most people don't know that he was a day

> late. He should have been born on The 14th. I think he wanted a day

> all his own. well there is never any confution between loving my

> child and caring for him. My mind starts to waver when I think of on

> down the road and say this is after he is gone. 1s will I be able to

> go on with out my preacious Eli and the husband wife thing.

>

> When we were frist given the news about Eli. We cried and through

> those tears we made an agreement not to ever leave our son. He needs

> us now and we will be there. I guess we should have spent more about

> us how all this has affected our family now and in the future. I

> have been told to find some interests so I wont feel such a loss

> when Eli dies. I waited a whole year before i dragged the idea out

> again. Chad and I work so well as a team taking care of everything.

> I am worried when there isn't anything to tend to what will happen

> to us. Only God know. People just keep telling have many couples

> split up after the death of their child. I pray that we will be

> differant. I want so much more in life with my husband and yet I

> still have time with my Eli snuggling and kissing.

>

> Ann (Eli's Mommy) Leigh's disease will be 2 Feb 15

> Elijah's Page

> " http://www.caringbridge.org/co/elijahkurtz "

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Please contact mito-owner with any problems or questions.

>

[Guest guest]

Ann - you are in my thoughts and prayers...I have no advice to give other than to love each other every day and to "live in the moment." Keep this in mind, too...

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is the future and today is a gift - which is why we call it the "present".

KK

Daily life is difficult as you all know. venting

I think what I am having problems with has nothing to do with the medial, feeding cleaning and tending to my very handicapped son. Eli was born feb 15 2003 most people don't know that he was a day late. He should have been born on The 14th. I think he wanted a day all his own. well there is never any confution between loving my child and caring for him. My mind starts to waver when I think of on down the road and say this is after he is gone. 1s will I be able to go on with out my preacious Eli and the husband wife thing. When we were frist given the news about Eli. We cried and through those tears we made an agreement not to ever leave our son. He needs us now and we will be there. I guess we should have spent more about us how all this has affected our family now and in the future. I have been told to find some interests so I wont feel such a loss when Eli dies. I waited a whole year before i dragged the idea out again. Chad and I work so well as a team taking care of everything. I am worried when there isn't anything to tend to what will happen to us. Only God know. People just keep telling have many couples split up after the death of their child. I pray that we will be differant. I want so much more in life with my husband and yet I still have time with my Eli snuggling and kissing. Ann (Eli's Mommy) Leigh's disease will be 2 Feb 15Elijah's Page "http://www.caringbridge.org/co/elijahkurtz" Please contact mito-owner with any problems or questions.

[Guest guest]

Ann - you are in my thoughts and prayers...I have no advice to give other than to love each other every day and to "live in the moment." Keep this in mind, too...

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is the future and today is a gift - which is why we call it the "present".

KK

Daily life is difficult as you all know. venting

I think what I am having problems with has nothing to do with the medial, feeding cleaning and tending to my very handicapped son. Eli was born feb 15 2003 most people don't know that he was a day late. He should have been born on The 14th. I think he wanted a day all his own. well there is never any confution between loving my child and caring for him. My mind starts to waver when I think of on down the road and say this is after he is gone. 1s will I be able to go on with out my preacious Eli and the husband wife thing. When we were frist given the news about Eli. We cried and through those tears we made an agreement not to ever leave our son. He needs us now and we will be there. I guess we should have spent more about us how all this has affected our family now and in the future. I have been told to find some interests so I wont feel such a loss when Eli dies. I waited a whole year before i dragged the idea out again. Chad and I work so well as a team taking care of everything. I am worried when there isn't anything to tend to what will happen to us. Only God know. People just keep telling have many couples split up after the death of their child. I pray that we will be differant. I want so much more in life with my husband and yet I still have time with my Eli snuggling and kissing. Ann (Eli's Mommy) Leigh's disease will be 2 Feb 15Elijah's Page "http://www.caringbridge.org/co/elijahkurtz" Please contact mito-owner with any problems or questions.