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God Bless you guys!!!!

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Oh thank you all so much!!!!

Everyone always looks at me and sees what I do everyday and lays

the " you are so strong or asks how I do it " . As you all know, you

can look at a book cover and never understand what is really in the

book. They don't know what it is like to love your child with every

ounce of your soul and understand that they many not be here

tomorrow. I wish that our minds put up a block and always made us

live in the now. When I think that way life is bliss. I would never

want anything more than holding Elijah, rocking him, singing, or

stroking through his long beautiful hair(he needs a hair cut)I

wouldn't change a thing about daily life. I guess from time to time

I miss the intimacy that our marriage had.

I thank you all for your honesty. People never talk about the strain

or confusion that loosing a child has on a relationship. It is

almost night and day. When I think of Eli the world is sunshine. I

guess it is because I know that he is an angel on loan to me and

that he will be with God in heaven. I could never be angry with

that. Yet after he is gone life does go on. We all like to plan

ahead. In our lives planning doesn't help much.

Suhad, I realize it has been 2 years; it actually lightened the mood

a little when I read it. I have read your posts about your precious

children often.

, I sometimes wonder about not knowing Eli's condition and then

I am thankful that I do. I take nothing for granted. The only

downside is that when I am holding him I never want to put him down,

sometimes hours later I tell him mommy has to go to the potty baby.

Then I have to change my shirt because he has drooled so much my

shirt is soaked.

I hope you all don't get the wrong impression about me. I am one of

the crazy happy people that everyone wonders about. It is just one

of those life things that we have to go through. As I read all of

your responses I cried so hard at the understanding. I love my son

and I love my husband. As you all know it is HARD and I thank you

all for supporting me when I need it. I really needed to hear that

life does work after such a hard loss.

Oh and we do take lots of digital photos, regular photos and any way

an image can be taken. I wish you all could come to our house. It is

all about enjoying our son. Photos everywhere! He even has his own

garden on the side of the house. Those poor little toes have been

put in so much cement he could work for the city. He is a most loved

child by us and everyone that knows him.

God Bless

Ann

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Oh thank you all so much!!!!

Everyone always looks at me and sees what I do everyday and lays

the " you are so strong or asks how I do it " . As you all know, you

can look at a book cover and never understand what is really in the

book. They don't know what it is like to love your child with every

ounce of your soul and understand that they many not be here

tomorrow. I wish that our minds put up a block and always made us

live in the now. When I think that way life is bliss. I would never

want anything more than holding Elijah, rocking him, singing, or

stroking through his long beautiful hair(he needs a hair cut)I

wouldn't change a thing about daily life. I guess from time to time

I miss the intimacy that our marriage had.

I thank you all for your honesty. People never talk about the strain

or confusion that loosing a child has on a relationship. It is

almost night and day. When I think of Eli the world is sunshine. I

guess it is because I know that he is an angel on loan to me and

that he will be with God in heaven. I could never be angry with

that. Yet after he is gone life does go on. We all like to plan

ahead. In our lives planning doesn't help much.

Suhad, I realize it has been 2 years; it actually lightened the mood

a little when I read it. I have read your posts about your precious

children often.

, I sometimes wonder about not knowing Eli's condition and then

I am thankful that I do. I take nothing for granted. The only

downside is that when I am holding him I never want to put him down,

sometimes hours later I tell him mommy has to go to the potty baby.

Then I have to change my shirt because he has drooled so much my

shirt is soaked.

I hope you all don't get the wrong impression about me. I am one of

the crazy happy people that everyone wonders about. It is just one

of those life things that we have to go through. As I read all of

your responses I cried so hard at the understanding. I love my son

and I love my husband. As you all know it is HARD and I thank you

all for supporting me when I need it. I really needed to hear that

life does work after such a hard loss.

Oh and we do take lots of digital photos, regular photos and any way

an image can be taken. I wish you all could come to our house. It is

all about enjoying our son. Photos everywhere! He even has his own

garden on the side of the house. Those poor little toes have been

put in so much cement he could work for the city. He is a most loved

child by us and everyone that knows him.

God Bless

Ann

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