More on the 5 stages of grief

[Guest guest]

I decided I had to go back into the ARCHIVES and pull up some of the posts on

Grief-- found this one from 2004.

So very many times I open up the emails and read where one or several

> of us

> are going thru tough times with spouses, friends family that don't

> understand

> what is happening to us.

>

> They see small changes in us, and most would like to believe that our

> physical weakness is brought about by deconditioning or weight gain or

> depression.

> In our frustration, we pull back, then they pull back, and then we find

> ourselves feeling very much like we are out here alone-- with no one

> to turn to.

>

> We go thru a period of guilt, anger, frustration, denial, bargaining

> (looking

> at the choices we might have to get better), and then we go back into

> this

> cycle and sometimes we even experience some acceptance of where we are

> at. This

> cycle is the FIVE STAGES OF GRIEVING.

>

> Sometimes when we're feeling especially alone, or feeling like no one

> cares,

> or that we're the only one in pain, or we feel panic because we want

> an answer

> and we want it now-- we forget that the person we're asking is

> everybit as

> sick as we are.

>

> We forget to ask each other what is going on. We get used to people

> answering and filling our every need, and take for granted that this

> is just how it

> is.

>

> We also go around and tell ourselves that we're not gonna post because

> my

> " life " is better than everyone elses " life " , so I don't have a right

> to bitch and

> complain.

>

> I want to share this with you, because we are all on the same path.

> We all

> hurt, we all have been hurt, been scared that we won't get better,

> we've all

> lost friends and loved ones and jobs, and financial security, and

> hobbies, and

> had to change our lives to fit our " Sarcoidosis. "

>

> What if we were to open up and share our pains? What if we were to

> open up

> and share our joys and our sorrows? What if we were to open up and

> share our

> laughter and our tears? What would happen?

>

> Would we be told that we can't tell everyone that because if we do,

> then

> they'll think- shit- I wish my life was as good as xxx. In the 2

> years I've been

> part of this group, no one has ever been told that their pain,

> physical or

> emotional isn't real. It has never happened and will never happen.

>

> What does happen is that someone will reach out and tell you they

> understand

> what you're going thru. They may have a book that helped them. They

> may have

> a story to share. They may even be able to " one-up " you on the

> nightmare

> that you're going thru--(we don't recommend this approach- lol).

> Mostly, someone

> will help you while you're struggling.

>

> We will celebrate you in your joys and hold you in your tears.

> Support--

>

> Compassionately,

> Tracie

[Guest guest]

I decided I had to go back into the ARCHIVES and pull up some of the posts on

Grief-- found this one from 2004.

So very many times I open up the emails and read where one or several

> of us

> are going thru tough times with spouses, friends family that don't

> understand

> what is happening to us.

>

> They see small changes in us, and most would like to believe that our

> physical weakness is brought about by deconditioning or weight gain or

> depression.

> In our frustration, we pull back, then they pull back, and then we find

> ourselves feeling very much like we are out here alone-- with no one

> to turn to.

>

> We go thru a period of guilt, anger, frustration, denial, bargaining

> (looking

> at the choices we might have to get better), and then we go back into

> this

> cycle and sometimes we even experience some acceptance of where we are

> at. This

> cycle is the FIVE STAGES OF GRIEVING.

>

> Sometimes when we're feeling especially alone, or feeling like no one

> cares,

> or that we're the only one in pain, or we feel panic because we want

> an answer

> and we want it now-- we forget that the person we're asking is

> everybit as

> sick as we are.

>

> We forget to ask each other what is going on. We get used to people

> answering and filling our every need, and take for granted that this

> is just how it

> is.

>

> We also go around and tell ourselves that we're not gonna post because

> my

> " life " is better than everyone elses " life " , so I don't have a right

> to bitch and

> complain.

>

> I want to share this with you, because we are all on the same path.

> We all

> hurt, we all have been hurt, been scared that we won't get better,

> we've all

> lost friends and loved ones and jobs, and financial security, and

> hobbies, and

> had to change our lives to fit our " Sarcoidosis. "

>

> What if we were to open up and share our pains? What if we were to

> open up

> and share our joys and our sorrows? What if we were to open up and

> share our

> laughter and our tears? What would happen?

>

> Would we be told that we can't tell everyone that because if we do,

> then

> they'll think- shit- I wish my life was as good as xxx. In the 2

> years I've been

> part of this group, no one has ever been told that their pain,

> physical or

> emotional isn't real. It has never happened and will never happen.

>

> What does happen is that someone will reach out and tell you they

> understand

> what you're going thru. They may have a book that helped them. They

> may have

> a story to share. They may even be able to " one-up " you on the

> nightmare

> that you're going thru--(we don't recommend this approach- lol).

> Mostly, someone

> will help you while you're struggling.

>

> We will celebrate you in your joys and hold you in your tears.

> Support--

>

> Compassionately,

> Tracie