Chronic Illness and relationships

[Guest guest]

These are from 2003-- and worth repeating.

This disease is serious. If not treated correctly, it progresses

until it is life threatening. All of us have been mis-diagnosed,

classified as hypocondriacs, (sp), and generally have had to run the

gamet, so to speak.

Your sister-in-law is probably scared stiff, her husband is sick, her

lifestyle, like his, is turned upside down; she hasn't a clue as to

what is going on and she is probably extremely angry about it all.

You probably feel the same way also.

It is so hard to watch a loved one be sick. Two summers ago, at the

same time that the sarcoid dragon raised it's ugly head for the

second time in my life, my husband underwent major heart surgery.

His aortic valve and aorta never developed. The surgeon had to

transect his aorta with vessel from his chest up to his shoulder, put

an artifical valve in to replace his-it was the size of an infants,

and do a double bypass. He was 44 and I was 43. Fortunately, the

surgery fixed him.

For me, as well as for , it was a wake-up call that we needed to

make major lifestyle changes. I remember sitting at his bedside two

days after his surgery, screaming at him about how much he had scared

me, how alone and vulnerable I was-and how powerless I felt because I

couldn't help him. We had the most honest and upfront conversations

that we have had in 26 years of marriage. Honestly, I have never

been more scared that I would lose him in my life, I pray I never

experience those feelings again.

Your sister-in-law, as well as you and your sister, need to take the

time to hold each other thru this ordeal. Her interference in his

care is her denial that he is so seriously ill. We all deal with

illness in strange ways, some can take action, some have to fight it

all the way. If you can't find it in yourself to physically hold

her, find a way to send compassion -if not to her, then to someone

else who needs it. The universe will find a way to include her.

I say this not to send a guilt trip to you, you have the right to be

angry with her. I just know that when anger runs into anger, it

generates more momentum. The momentum that is needed by all right

now, is one of loving compassion. It truly is amazing how healing

this can be.

Holding you in my heart,

Tracie

[Guest guest]

These are from 2003-- and worth repeating.

This disease is serious. If not treated correctly, it progresses

until it is life threatening. All of us have been mis-diagnosed,

classified as hypocondriacs, (sp), and generally have had to run the

gamet, so to speak.

Your sister-in-law is probably scared stiff, her husband is sick, her

lifestyle, like his, is turned upside down; she hasn't a clue as to

what is going on and she is probably extremely angry about it all.

You probably feel the same way also.

It is so hard to watch a loved one be sick. Two summers ago, at the

same time that the sarcoid dragon raised it's ugly head for the

second time in my life, my husband underwent major heart surgery.

His aortic valve and aorta never developed. The surgeon had to

transect his aorta with vessel from his chest up to his shoulder, put

an artifical valve in to replace his-it was the size of an infants,

and do a double bypass. He was 44 and I was 43. Fortunately, the

surgery fixed him.

For me, as well as for , it was a wake-up call that we needed to

make major lifestyle changes. I remember sitting at his bedside two

days after his surgery, screaming at him about how much he had scared

me, how alone and vulnerable I was-and how powerless I felt because I

couldn't help him. We had the most honest and upfront conversations

that we have had in 26 years of marriage. Honestly, I have never

been more scared that I would lose him in my life, I pray I never

experience those feelings again.

Your sister-in-law, as well as you and your sister, need to take the

time to hold each other thru this ordeal. Her interference in his

care is her denial that he is so seriously ill. We all deal with

illness in strange ways, some can take action, some have to fight it

all the way. If you can't find it in yourself to physically hold

her, find a way to send compassion -if not to her, then to someone

else who needs it. The universe will find a way to include her.

I say this not to send a guilt trip to you, you have the right to be

angry with her. I just know that when anger runs into anger, it

generates more momentum. The momentum that is needed by all right

now, is one of loving compassion. It truly is amazing how healing

this can be.

Holding you in my heart,

Tracie