checking in

[Guest guest]

AWWWWWW, thank you Cecilia!! You are an amazing woman and can climb

any obstacle thrown at you!!

Huggles

>

> It has been awhile since I posted but I read the posts daily. First

of

> all to all of you that have been approved or had

> surgery...Congratulations. To all of you struggling with the ten

> percent....don't give up!!!

>

> It has been almost 4 months since surgery and I struggled for

awhile

> ajusting to the HUGE lifestyle changes. I am much more stable now

and

> I feel better. As everyone states the energy level is amazing!! I

have

> now lost 51 lbs since surgery (not counting the 11 gained with the

> iv's at the hospital). I am now happy to be in onederland. I have

tons

> to be grateful about and it is still facinating how it just melts

away

> on a daily basis (not counting the periods of stand still).

>

> , thank you for your honesty tyhrough personal email. It

really

> helped me. You are an inspiration.

>

> Love you guys!!!!

>

> Cecilia

>

[Guest guest]

Cecilia I'm so happy things are going good for you. We all need special attention at times, and it's good to have someone to be there for you if you don't want to have every one know. Sometimes it only takes that one person and it helps. Keep up the good work and congratulations on what you've done so far. You have a Very Merry Christmas. Donnacecilia wrote: It has been awhile since I posted but I read the posts daily. First of all to all of you that have been approved or had surgery...Congratulations. To all of you struggling with the ten percent....don't give up!!! It has been almost 4 months since surgery and I struggled for awhile ajusting to the HUGE lifestyle changes. I am much more stable now and I feel better. As everyone states the

energy level is amazing!! I have now lost 51 lbs since surgery (not counting the 11 gained with the iv's at the hospital). I am now happy to be in onederland. I have tons to be grateful about and it is still facinating how it just melts away on a daily basis (not counting the periods of stand still)., thank you for your honesty tyhrough personal email. It really helped me. You are an inspiration.Love you guys!!!!Cecilia Donna JordonDSJordon@...

Yahoo! Photos Ring in the New Year with Photo Calendars. Add photos, events, holidays, whatever.

[Guest guest]

Robynn! Welcome back, assuming you aren't writing from France... and thanks for your encouragement. Since I joined this wonderful group, you've been a great inspiration to me, and I really appreciate it. I'm very sorry we missed each other at Kaiser Richmond last month. I was looking forward to meeting you. But there'll be another time. I hope you're closer to or perhaps have even reached goal by now... take care and I'll keep everyone posted on my progress (or not) as it occurs.

Ron

Re: Checking in

Ron...

You are doing incredibly well...to have lost that much weight without the benefit of the "tool" of surgery just let's us all know that you will absolutely be a success post-surgery! I'm so proud of you.

Quitting smoking and losing weight at the same time is virtually unheard of, and the fact that you have accomplished both of these herculean feats is somethig that you can be very very proud of. You are right: your journey is particularly difficult, and I can understand why you feel discouraged, and that you might lose focus from time to time. But your new addition to your routine (walking to work) will make a big difference. I think that you should do the home gym thing, but that you should talk turkey to yourself, and USE it. I am all for working out...the stronger your muscles before the surgery, the faster you will lose post-surgery, and the better you will look ultimately. Plus, it is good for your heart, and will get you in tip top shape before you go under the knife.

Ron, it is GOING to happen for you this year, I know it. Here's my prediction for you: You will be ready to go by June. You are going to keep your focus, and you are NOT going to let yourself take any steps backwards. Full steam ahead. You'll add the walk every a.m., and perhaps, when it stays lighter out for longer period of times, you'll add the walk home. Your sister needs encouragement to exercise, and maybe the two of you can ultimately add some nice walks together in the evening, or on the weekends. And, like i said, the idea of a home gym is terrific. Just make sure you invest in something of fairly high quality, so that it is strong enough and solid enough to make you feel secure while you use it.

Ron, you've been pretty darned focused for nearly six months now. That's fabulous! Give it another six months for the pre-surgery (You may do it even faster, who knows!) and go for broke. You will be thin, healthy and living a brand new life in no time.

When you think about this journey, relative to the number of years that you've had to live with obesity, it really is just a blip in time, you know? You have a choice about where you will be six months from now: will you be backtracking, having gained weight...with an even larger obstacle to overcome...or will you be at goal, prepping for this life-changing surgery?

For me, someone who had to lose a lot less than you did, so I speak with some humility here, as I recognize that your discipline and will-power is far greater than my own...i sort of lost focus in and out for several months. Finally, I had to kick myself and say to myself EACH and EVERY time a temptation reared its head: "this is your choice. You decide. Are you going to be hating yourself six months from now because you fell off the wagon YET again...or are you going to be on your way to a new Robynn? you make this choice today, this moment, this bite, this temptation, this decision at this moment about whether you exercise or not. This choice is in your hands, and you have no one to congratulate or blame but yourself." This was something I had to say over and over and over again until it finally hit me that my life was in my own hands, no one else's.

Congratulations Ron. Be proud. You are halfway there...don't stop now. The finish line awaits you.

We love you, and we're cheering you on!

Robynn

[Guest guest]

Way to go Ron! Baby steps...that'll get you to where you need to be.

Frustrating? You bet! Hard? You bet! Worth it? Oh yeah baby! Keep on

trucking!

Tina

>

> Hello everyone. It's been a little bit since I checked in with

you all, but I've been here reading along with everyone's joys and

woes. Congrats to all the new post ops (with special prayers going

out to ). Welcome to the new members as well. You couldn't

have chosen a better group for online support.

>

> The holidays have been somewhat tough for me. I did pretty well

over Thanksgiving, but the Christmas season is just too darned

long... I can't say I did too badly, but I stumbled a few

times. Bottom line is that I gained 6 pounds between 12-15-05 and 1-

3-06. As of this morning, I have lost 2 of those.

>

> I sometimes find it hard to stay focused on my journey. To bring

you all up to date, my original orientation weight in August '04 was

505 at Richmond. When I met with Dr. Baggs, he told me I had to

lose 100 pounds before surgery. I took that as a devastating blow

and fell of the wagon for nearly a year. In that time, I gained 24

pounds (probably gained more, but was at 529 in July '05). I was

allowed to get back into the program this past July, but I still

need to get down to 405 before I can get a date. This morning, I

weighed 466. Now... although I have lost 63 pounds so far, I still

have 61 to go. I try so hard to stay strong (and reading the posts

here DO help immensely), but it's so easy to get discouraged.

>

> In July, I had an " epiphany " of sorts and overnight quit smoking

and started my REAL weight-loss program. Funny how easy it was at

first. I was quite surprised at how easily I just quit smoking.

After 30+ years, I just quit cold turkey. AND... I was successful

at losing weight at the same time. When I think of that, I am just

in awe of myself... ( I don't mean to sound conceited, really).

But, as time has gone by, I find it's getting more and more

difficult to keep up the pace on the weight loss.

>

> My sister (who I share an apartment with, and who has had her

surgery on 8-31-05) and I have been discussing getting a home gym to

work out here at the house. We have the room, but I'm afraid I may

spend the money and lose my ambition... but I guess I'll really

have to push myself. I know I'm able to do that... after all, look

what I've done already. AND, today, I walked to work for the

first time ever. Over the past week, I've kinda been working up to

it bu walking part way, knowing a ride was coming. Today, I decided

to start out without calling for my ride. I just kept trudging

along and soon found myself there. For me, that's a major

milestone. Although I feel really good about finally making it all

the way without a ride, I also feel a little guilty about it. You

see, I only live about 1/4 - 1/2 mile from where I work. But

weighing as much as I have for as long as I have, walking very far

is pretty much out of the question.... until now. I'm going to

try keeping up the pace and walk to work daily. For now, walking

home is out of the question due to the hour of the night and a lot

of uneven pavement and lack of sidewalks. I just don't trust myself

that far yet.

>

> So I know this has been a lot, but amazingly enough I feel better

and am really glad I wrote all this down. I hope you all don't mind

my ranting. It's certainly not as eloquent as any of Francisco's

writings, but I think you'll get my points. Thanks for taking the

time to read, and I now turn the floor over to someone else.

>

> Ron

> pre-op 466 and losing

>

[Guest guest]

WOW Ron, I dont understand why you had to lose 100 when 50 is 10%?!

Is it due to increased risk?

But apart from that you are doing an amazing job. What worked for me

is to stop making excuses. I read Taming the Feast Beast and found

it totally empowering. It takes away all the excuses.

You are worth this and you ARE doing it!!

Hang in there and Huggles

> >

> > Hello everyone. It's been a little bit since I checked in with

> you all, but I've been here reading along with everyone's joys and

> woes. Congrats to all the new post ops (with special prayers

going

> out to ). Welcome to the new members as well. You couldn't

> have chosen a better group for online support.

> >

> > The holidays have been somewhat tough for me. I did pretty well

> over Thanksgiving, but the Christmas season is just too darned

> long... I can't say I did too badly, but I stumbled a few

> times. Bottom line is that I gained 6 pounds between 12-15-05 and

1-

> 3-06. As of this morning, I have lost 2 of those.

> >

> > I sometimes find it hard to stay focused on my journey. To

bring

> you all up to date, my original orientation weight in August '04

was

> 505 at Richmond. When I met with Dr. Baggs, he told me I had to

> lose 100 pounds before surgery. I took that as a devastating blow

> and fell of the wagon for nearly a year. In that time, I gained

24

> pounds (probably gained more, but was at 529 in July '05). I was

> allowed to get back into the program this past July, but I still

> need to get down to 405 before I can get a date. This morning, I

> weighed 466. Now... although I have lost 63 pounds so far, I

still

> have 61 to go. I try so hard to stay strong (and reading the

posts

> here DO help immensely), but it's so easy to get discouraged.

> >

> > In July, I had an " epiphany " of sorts and overnight quit smoking

> and started my REAL weight-loss program. Funny how easy it was at

> first. I was quite surprised at how easily I just quit smoking.

> After 30+ years, I just quit cold turkey. AND... I was

successful

> at losing weight at the same time. When I think of that, I am

just

> in awe of myself... ( I don't mean to sound conceited, really).

> But, as time has gone by, I find it's getting more and more

> difficult to keep up the pace on the weight loss.

> >

> > My sister (who I share an apartment with, and who has had her

> surgery on 8-31-05) and I have been discussing getting a home gym

to

> work out here at the house. We have the room, but I'm afraid I

may

> spend the money and lose my ambition... but I guess I'll really

> have to push myself. I know I'm able to do that... after all,

look

> what I've done already. AND, today, I walked to work for the

> first time ever. Over the past week, I've kinda been working up

to

> it bu walking part way, knowing a ride was coming. Today, I

decided

> to start out without calling for my ride. I just kept trudging

> along and soon found myself there. For me, that's a major

> milestone. Although I feel really good about finally making it

all

> the way without a ride, I also feel a little guilty about it. You

> see, I only live about 1/4 - 1/2 mile from where I work. But

> weighing as much as I have for as long as I have, walking very far

> is pretty much out of the question.... until now. I'm going

to

> try keeping up the pace and walk to work daily. For now, walking

> home is out of the question due to the hour of the night and a lot

> of uneven pavement and lack of sidewalks. I just don't trust

myself

> that far yet.

> >

> > So I know this has been a lot, but amazingly enough I feel

better

> and am really glad I wrote all this down. I hope you all don't

mind

> my ranting. It's certainly not as eloquent as any of Francisco's

> writings, but I think you'll get my points. Thanks for taking the

> time to read, and I now turn the floor over to someone else.

> >

> > Ron

> > pre-op 466 and losing

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Ron, it doesn't matter a bit that it's " only " 1/4 - 1/2 mile to work.

It's still impressive that you've made it. 63 pounds ago, that was

an impossible dream, and now you're doing it! In a couple of months

when it stays light later maybe you can start coming back the other

direction as well, but for now this is wonderful news!

For comparison, one of the things that's convinced me to have surgery

is that I can't walk that far either. When I was younger I walked a

marathon (no, I didn't run, I had bad knees even back then!). But for

the last several years a half-mile is a major achievement for me, and

most days half of that is the most I can manage.

This isn't a race, though. It's life. It doesn't matter if we get

there today or tomorrow - what matters is progress, not perfection.

And you're certainly making progress!

Cathy C.

>

> Hello everyone. It's been a little bit since I checked in with you

all, but I've been here reading along with everyone's joys and woes.

Congrats to all the new post ops (with special prayers going out to

). Welcome to the new members as well. You couldn't have

chosen a better group for online support.

>

> The holidays have been somewhat tough for me. I did pretty well

over Thanksgiving, but the Christmas season is just too darned

long... I can't say I did too badly, but I stumbled a few

times. Bottom line is that I gained 6 pounds between 12-15-05 and 1-

3-06. As of this morning, I have lost 2 of those.

>

> I sometimes find it hard to stay focused on my journey. To bring

you all up to date, my original orientation weight in August '04 was

505 at Richmond. When I met with Dr. Baggs, he told me I had to lose

100 pounds before surgery. I took that as a devastating blow and

fell of the wagon for nearly a year. In that time, I gained 24

pounds (probably gained more, but was at 529 in July '05). I was

allowed to get back into the program this past July, but I still need

to get down to 405 before I can get a date. This morning, I weighed

466. Now... although I have lost 63 pounds so far, I still have 61

to go. I try so hard to stay strong (and reading the posts here DO

help immensely), but it's so easy to get discouraged.

>

> In July, I had an " epiphany " of sorts and overnight quit smoking

and started my REAL weight-loss program. Funny how easy it was at

first. I was quite surprised at how easily I just quit smoking.

After 30+ years, I just quit cold turkey. AND... I was successful

at losing weight at the same time. When I think of that, I am just

in awe of myself... ( I don't mean to sound conceited, really).

But, as time has gone by, I find it's getting more and more difficult

to keep up the pace on the weight loss.

>

> My sister (who I share an apartment with, and who has had her

surgery on 8-31-05) and I have been discussing getting a home gym to

work out here at the house. We have the room, but I'm afraid I may

spend the money and lose my ambition... but I guess I'll really have

to push myself. I know I'm able to do that... after all, look what

I've done already. AND, today, I walked to work for the first

time ever. Over the past week, I've kinda been working up to it bu

walking part way, knowing a ride was coming. Today, I decided to

start out without calling for my ride. I just kept trudging along

and soon found myself there. For me, that's a major milestone.

Although I feel really good about finally making it all the way

without a ride, I also feel a little guilty about it. You see, I

only live about 1/4 - 1/2 mile from where I work. But weighing as

much as I have for as long as I have, walking very far is pretty much

out of the question.... until now. I'm going to try keeping up

the pace and walk to work daily. For now, walking home is out of the

question due to the hour of the night and a lot of uneven pavement

and lack of sidewalks. I just don't trust myself that far yet.

>

> So I know this has been a lot, but amazingly enough I feel better

and am really glad I wrote all this down. I hope you all don't mind

my ranting. It's certainly not as eloquent as any of Francisco's

writings, but I think you'll get my points. Thanks for taking the

time to read, and I now turn the floor over to someone else.

>

> Ron

> pre-op 466 and losing

>

[Guest guest]

Ron:

There is a tone in your post that is very encouraging. You seem to

have realized that giving up on yourself is no longer an option.

I know that the hurdles we have to jump seem too high and too

numerous, but take it one hurdle at a time. You're on the right

path. Yeah, all of us have fallen down and have had to pick

ourselves up again, but you are developing the skills necessary to

succeed. Perfection is not the goal; persistence is. Don't ever

give up on you.

I can tell in your post that you are coming out of that fog of self-

doubt. It's a process that takes time and practice, but you'll get

better and better at fighting for you because you know what? You're

worth every struggle, every hardship, every step that gets you closer

to your goal.

Don't belittle your milestones. It's OK to be proud of what you have

accomplished. Take those good feelings, build on them, and sooner

than you can possibly realize, you'll be on the other side.

You are an inspiration.

Francisco

>

> Hello everyone. It's been a little bit since I checked in with you

all, but I've been here reading along with everyone's joys and woes.

Congrats to all the new post ops (with special prayers going out to

). Welcome to the new members as well. You couldn't have

chosen a better group for online support.

>

> The holidays have been somewhat tough for me. I did pretty well

over Thanksgiving, but the Christmas season is just too darned

long... I can't say I did too badly, but I stumbled a few

times. Bottom line is that I gained 6 pounds between 12-15-05 and 1-

3-06. As of this morning, I have lost 2 of those.

>

> I sometimes find it hard to stay focused on my journey. To bring

you all up to date, my original orientation weight in August '04 was

505 at Richmond. When I met with Dr. Baggs, he told me I had to lose

100 pounds before surgery. I took that as a devastating blow and

fell of the wagon for nearly a year. In that time, I gained 24

pounds (probably gained more, but was at 529 in July '05). I was

allowed to get back into the program this past July, but I still need

to get down to 405 before I can get a date. This morning, I weighed

466. Now... although I have lost 63 pounds so far, I still have 61

to go. I try so hard to stay strong (and reading the posts here DO

help immensely), but it's so easy to get discouraged.

>

> In July, I had an " epiphany " of sorts and overnight quit smoking

and started my REAL weight-loss program. Funny how easy it was at

first. I was quite surprised at how easily I just quit smoking.

After 30+ years, I just quit cold turkey. AND... I was successful

at losing weight at the same time. When I think of that, I am just

in awe of myself... ( I don't mean to sound conceited, really).

But, as time has gone by, I find it's getting more and more difficult

to keep up the pace on the weight loss.

>

> My sister (who I share an apartment with, and who has had her

surgery on 8-31-05) and I have been discussing getting a home gym to

work out here at the house. We have the room, but I'm afraid I may

spend the money and lose my ambition... but I guess I'll really have

to push myself. I know I'm able to do that... after all, look what

I've done already. AND, today, I walked to work for the first

time ever. Over the past week, I've kinda been working up to it bu

walking part way, knowing a ride was coming. Today, I decided to

start out without calling for my ride. I just kept trudging along

and soon found myself there. For me, that's a major milestone.

Although I feel really good about finally making it all the way

without a ride, I also feel a little guilty about it. You see, I

only live about 1/4 - 1/2 mile from where I work. But weighing as

much as I have for as long as I have, walking very far is pretty much

out of the question.... until now. I'm going to try keeping up

the pace and walk to work daily. For now, walking home is out of the

question due to the hour of the night and a lot of uneven pavement

and lack of sidewalks. I just don't trust myself that far yet.

>

> So I know this has been a lot, but amazingly enough I feel better

and am really glad I wrote all this down. I hope you all don't mind

my ranting. It's certainly not as eloquent as any of Francisco's

writings, but I think you'll get my points. Thanks for taking the

time to read, and I now turn the floor over to someone else.

>

> Ron

> pre-op 466 and losing

>

[Guest guest]

, I remember reading about your brother's passing in previous posts. I am so sorry he's gone, and especially while trying to get this surgery. But it's that sort of thing that does help motivate me too. I've been heavy all my life (since childhood). In July of 1992 I was told by my doctor at KPSSF to take a couple weeks off work due to (what I now know are) ulcers on one of my legs. I never did return to that job. After that, I started gaining weight like there was no tomorrow. I don't really know what my heaviest weight was, but I'll guess it was near 600 pounds at some point. I was afraid I might go to sleep some night and never wake to see another day. Fortunately, the fog finally cleared from my head and I am now on this journey to save my own life.

I still have some strengthening to do for my "resolve", but I am working on that. I am very thankful to have this group though. Thanks for "baring your soul" here for all of us to see. It helps the rest of us to do the same. Most of things I talk about here I would probably never bring up to most others. But, there's a certain level of comfort here because everyone's in the same boat.

Ron

Re: Checking in

I have no doubt you will get there!! I have faith in you...you can do this....you ARE doing this.My brother died in 2001 of morbid obesity. He was 450+ and died in his sleep. THAT was my motivation.> >> > Way to go Ron! Baby steps...that'll get you to where you need to > be. > > Frustrating? You bet! Hard? You bet! Worth it? Oh yeah baby! Keep > on > > trucking!> > > > Tina> >>

[Guest guest]

Ron, big congrats on walking to work! You must feel

great about your accomplishment. How's it going on

them four pounds? Bet you've already busted their

little butts.

Hugs,

Laurie

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

yup, and working on some other ones now.

Re: Checking in

Ron, big congrats on walking to work! You must feelgreat about your accomplishment. How's it going onthem four pounds? Bet you've already busted theirlittle butts.Hugs,Laurie__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Thanks guys for the support, things are gonna be real tight for me, I'm not sure what to do or where to turn for help.. The new pcp was suppose to call me yesterday, with my lab results.. did she.. nope.. here we go again.. or maybe she's busy with her other patients.. I don't know..I will try to be patient again today and see what happens..

My mind is in some kind of fog/cluttered mess..so things that I normally can tell you right off the bat, is very slow in coming..

Jackie, I sure hope they can figure out what's happening to you.. I can't imagine anyone wanting to live like we do.. and to then have the doctors say you're fine, makes me want to start slapping the crap out of them..:-)

Tracie, dang I don't have any of the milk thistle or the other drug u mentioned.. and can't get them for awhile.. Damian turned 18 in Janurary and he graduates in May so our money will be cut.. that's the main reason we're in the financial shape we are in right now.. its been one thing right after the other trying to pay for his graduation.. He finally got a job yesterday but of course they will hold his first check and it only comes every two weeks which means it will be one month before he/we see his first check...then he wants to go to college, and I want him to.. so paying application fee's to different colleges has been another small fee's here and there from 10.00 to 30.00.. it adds up..

I certainly hope some brainiac in Calif.. does a chest xray... what are these people thinking? a simple xray, come on..

If anyone talks to Becky please let her know that I'm thinking of her.. and do absolutly care what happens with her..

I will hopefully be checking in at the library till I can get some kind of internet connection.. I am actually going through withdrawls of that.. lol plus the library is closed on weekends.. what will I ever do with my time?

Love to u all,

--------- Checking in

Lots going on and not a lot of time to spend.. but I've had a couple more trips to the Emergency Room over the last 2 weeks and I'm getting pretty scared.. They all seem to agree that its "NOT MY SACOID" but they refuse to draw any blood because they say that that's the initial way to diagnosis sarcoid but not the way to test for a flare.. but yet again they can not tell me how to check for that.. I know that's total "BS" my MRI without contrast is negative.. I can't have the contrast because my renal profile is high.. that alone should throw up a red flag that maybe, "SARCOID" has now entered into my kidneys.. I am freaking out!! Tracie, you will be glad to know tha my diabetic doctor realizes I have fallen into the "Vanderbilt Hole" and I saw a new PCP on Friday outside the system.. she says all this could be my sarcoid.. but it could be Arterial Vasculitis.. that is causing my vertigo, the pain and the horrilbe ringi

ng/distorted sounds in my r ear.. and my vision is horrible. she says if this is the arterial vasculitis and left untreated I will go blind.. OMG!! and get this.. the blood test that she drew was "crp" and "sed rate" the very two test that I have been begging Vanderbilt doctors to draw for months and they refuse... because they are certain that its not the sarcoid.. plus they also told me.. that "for you, there is no futher treatment for it" Now for the rest of the story.. my email is gonna have to change for a couple of weeks.. I've changed it in yahoo so I should be getting the emails ok.. if not my address is topdatster (AT) gmail (DOT) com or stopdat2005@ yahoo.com.. seems I forgot to pay the bill... and not being this

far into the month I don't have the money to pay it till next month.. ohh yeah, please I am on disability and "WANT" to be.. "NOT"!! Could somebody please take me off this train? I want OFF!Sorry guys, for the rant.. as I've mentioned I think. I'm am freaking totally out.. can't get anyone to help me yet.. but hopefully I will soon..

[Guest guest]

Thanks guys for the support, things are gonna be real tight for me, I'm not sure what to do or where to turn for help.. The new pcp was suppose to call me yesterday, with my lab results.. did she.. nope.. here we go again.. or maybe she's busy with her other patients.. I don't know..I will try to be patient again today and see what happens..

My mind is in some kind of fog/cluttered mess..so things that I normally can tell you right off the bat, is very slow in coming..

Jackie, I sure hope they can figure out what's happening to you.. I can't imagine anyone wanting to live like we do.. and to then have the doctors say you're fine, makes me want to start slapping the crap out of them..:-)

Tracie, dang I don't have any of the milk thistle or the other drug u mentioned.. and can't get them for awhile.. Damian turned 18 in Janurary and he graduates in May so our money will be cut.. that's the main reason we're in the financial shape we are in right now.. its been one thing right after the other trying to pay for his graduation.. He finally got a job yesterday but of course they will hold his first check and it only comes every two weeks which means it will be one month before he/we see his first check...then he wants to go to college, and I want him to.. so paying application fee's to different colleges has been another small fee's here and there from 10.00 to 30.00.. it adds up..

I certainly hope some brainiac in Calif.. does a chest xray... what are these people thinking? a simple xray, come on..

If anyone talks to Becky please let her know that I'm thinking of her.. and do absolutly care what happens with her..

I will hopefully be checking in at the library till I can get some kind of internet connection.. I am actually going through withdrawls of that.. lol plus the library is closed on weekends.. what will I ever do with my time?

Love to u all,

--------- Checking in

Lots going on and not a lot of time to spend.. but I've had a couple more trips to the Emergency Room over the last 2 weeks and I'm getting pretty scared.. They all seem to agree that its "NOT MY SACOID" but they refuse to draw any blood because they say that that's the initial way to diagnosis sarcoid but not the way to test for a flare.. but yet again they can not tell me how to check for that.. I know that's total "BS" my MRI without contrast is negative.. I can't have the contrast because my renal profile is high.. that alone should throw up a red flag that maybe, "SARCOID" has now entered into my kidneys.. I am freaking out!! Tracie, you will be glad to know tha my diabetic doctor realizes I have fallen into the "Vanderbilt Hole" and I saw a new PCP on Friday outside the system.. she says all this could be my sarcoid.. but it could be Arterial Vasculitis.. that is causing my vertigo, the pain and the horrilbe ringi

ng/distorted sounds in my r ear.. and my vision is horrible. she says if this is the arterial vasculitis and left untreated I will go blind.. OMG!! and get this.. the blood test that she drew was "crp" and "sed rate" the very two test that I have been begging Vanderbilt doctors to draw for months and they refuse... because they are certain that its not the sarcoid.. plus they also told me.. that "for you, there is no futher treatment for it" Now for the rest of the story.. my email is gonna have to change for a couple of weeks.. I've changed it in yahoo so I should be getting the emails ok.. if not my address is topdatster (AT) gmail (DOT) com or stopdat2005@ yahoo.com.. seems I forgot to pay the bill... and not being this

far into the month I don't have the money to pay it till next month.. ohh yeah, please I am on disability and "WANT" to be.. "NOT"!! Could somebody please take me off this train? I want OFF!Sorry guys, for the rant.. as I've mentioned I think. I'm am freaking totally out.. can't get anyone to help me yet.. but hopefully I will soon..

[Guest guest]

M

been, hanging tight..........................

have been having a lot of bone pain. My right knee is shot, even though im loaded with pain meds it still hurts me bad............hubby just had cancer surgery and gamma knife radiation. leave next friday for new Orleans for sons wedding.

[Guest guest]

M

been, hanging tight..........................

have been having a lot of bone pain. My right knee is shot, even though im loaded with pain meds it still hurts me bad............hubby just had cancer surgery and gamma knife radiation. leave next friday for new Orleans for sons wedding.

[Guest guest]

,

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.........please try

to get some time for yourself with all those events coming up

and all your family is going through. It is important that you

get rest and try not to overdue. Let us know how the wedding

goes and share some pics with us........please????

Hugs,

DarleneNS Co-Owner/Moderator

checking in

M

been, hanging tight..........................

have been having a lot of bone pain. My right knee is shot, even though im loaded with pain meds it still hurts me bad............hubby just had cancer surgery and gamma knife radiation. leave next friday for new Orleans for sons wedding.

[Guest guest]

,

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.........please try

to get some time for yourself with all those events coming up

and all your family is going through. It is important that you

get rest and try not to overdue. Let us know how the wedding

goes and share some pics with us........please????

Hugs,

DarleneNS Co-Owner/Moderator

checking in

M

been, hanging tight..........................

have been having a lot of bone pain. My right knee is shot, even though im loaded with pain meds it still hurts me bad............hubby just had cancer surgery and gamma knife radiation. leave next friday for new Orleans for sons wedding.

[Guest guest]

,

You know lady, this is what we are here for. We all face the issues of handling our personal relationships, our health issues, our stress of daily life issues and then we deal with the challenges of our health. You have had so much on your plate this year, and to add the insult of marriage problems on top of it all-- cut yourself some slack.

It's ok to get online and share with us what is going on. You know that-- and don't worry, you won't piss anyone off.

These issues are real, and so many are in physical pain-- that the other stuff justs seems to push us over to that overload place alot faster than it did when we were healthy. Oh well, when we were healthy we didn't stand up for ourself and speak out when these things happened- and I don't know about you, but I am having to learn to say "no more."

Take care of yourself, and for all those out there that aren't sharing what is going on because you think your problems are simple ones compared to others-- speak out. Let us know what is going on-- and maybe we can get some real communication happening, and come away with something that will be a light turned on that we can use. (No- not the one on the train coming at us in the tunnel.....)

Hugs,

Tracie

NS Co-owner/moderator

checking in

Hi all. I'm sorry I haven't responded to any posts...new or old members... cuz i haven't been feeling well. NO energy and feeling depressed. I can't seem to think straight. The other day my son was talking about when Bush ran against Kerry and I had NO recollection of that ever happening. He had to show me on the computer. Where did that year go...?! On bad days i have no memory and am even afraid of responding to people....like I could really screw up what i say or p*ss someone off. Today the roof of the building I live in(three floors) started to be reroofed. Constant ongoing noise...pounding, etc. all day. By the time they left for the day I just wanted to cry from the overstimulation. I ended up pouring myself a glass of wine...and then got a headache. It would

be funny if it wasn't so sh*tty. They'll be working on it again tomorrow and I was supposed to go out for dinner for my bday tomorrow. We'll have to see how the day goes. Marriage problems continue...if not worse. If I had to deal with fires or flooding , on top of all this cr*ap, they'd have to put me in a psych ward....no kidding. My good thoughts/prayers go out to those dealing with those problems. My doc is delirious that I've lost 70 lbs. and i guess it's cool...but I still feel like sh*t. So maybe now he'll believe me that it wasn't the weight causing the problems. I got a cat and he's been giving me lots of cat hugs and he came just at the right time cuz i sure wasn't getting any attention from 'you know who'. He's just my little shadow....lol. Well, I got all that out of me and I don't feel better for it and I probably brought you down if you've read this far. ...but maybe

you can relate to something in it. Maybe I should get some of Debbie's smoking materials or does she make brownies?... If I didn't have a landlord living right downstairs I would SO try that right about now. ...gotta go lay down again. see ya! S.