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Re: Gobo--Facing It Alone

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Hi - I am so sorry to hear that you have to face this alone.

Although I am hopefully, soon to be pre-op and wont be able to answer

your medical questions, I am a good listener and try to be very

supportive when at all possible, so if you ever need to talk, vent,

laugh, cry, whatever, please feel free to contact me. It's long

distance support and couldn't replace the type of support one usually

expects from close friends and family, but sometimes its just nice to

know there is someone on the other end of cyberspace willing to talk

and listen (or rather, read and respond...lol).

I wish you all the best,

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With friends like this who needs enemies. Where do you live? I think this is

awful and in times of need you learn who your friends are. I wish you luck.

Ellen(Pam

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Hello ,

I also live in NYC if you would like, I am available

to help in anyway I can. If you like I can email you

privately with my cell phone or home number and we can

chat.

Lisbeth

Dr. Macura

June 25, 2001

-21 lbs

--- c50684@... wrote:

> I, too, am going through WLS with virtually no

> support. I haven't told

> any of my overweight hypercritical co-workers or

> family. Of my close

> friends, 2 have died within the past 18 months.

> Another, who weighs

> 450 lbs, recently suffered multiple pulmonary emboli

> associated with

> his use of an ACE inhibitor for blood pressure

> control. He is

> currently trying to diet off 300 lbs on a 2000

> calorie a day diet. His

> MD and I have both spoken to him about WLS, but he

> just isn't

> listening. Incidentally, prior to this experience,

> he refused to pick

> me up at the hospital post surgery because I might

> bleed all over his

> car. This from someone I have known for 30 years!!

> Another friend

> lives in the mid-west and is unable to come to NYC

> for my surgery due

> to family problems. My sister and other relatives

> are notoriously

> unsupportive of anything I do. Their attitude is

> that since I never

> married, my life is worthless. Fortunately, I live

> in NYC, across the

> street from a large grocery store containing a

> pharmacy where I am

> well known. I don't anticipate any problems with

> getting meds; the

> pharmacy will deliver if needed. Where can I sign up

> for the

> OSSG-Facing it alone list? Thanks for letting me

> vent. I hope your

> recovery continues to go smoothly.

>

>

>

>

----------------------------------------------------------------------

>

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I had the DS alone, well not exactly, you see I had the love and

support from the people on this list. Those lovely babes from

Bowling Green made sure I was not totally alone. Jodie my dear sweet

angel picked me up from the airport and went out to my " last supper "

with me and countless other things. Beth met me at the mall where we

saw a movie then she took me to the hospital and stayed with me till

after 2 am. Dee came to visit and brought me a " Get-well Gorilla " ,

and Rose wheeled me down, IV and all, to the surgery support group in

the hospital. Without the support I received on this list, I would

have been very alone. I took a cab from the hospital to a hotel

room. The nice cabbie (who looked scared to death of me) took my

luggage, flowers and food stuff to my room. The hotel maids came by

everyday with big bags of ice and lifted anything I needed to lift.

Jodie brought me to my doctor appointment then out to Chinese for

lunch (egg drop soup, yum…), she helped me with shopping at the

grocery store and generally made recovery easier for me in every

way. The worst day for me was flying back home across the country, I

was alone, sick, heavily medicated and tired to death. When I

stepped off the plane clutching my sore, sore tummy, and saw my best

friend waiting for me, I burst out crying. I was an emotional mess.

She got me a wheelchair and poured me into her car and we drove 100-

mile home.

We may only see the words, but the people writing them are caring and

very human. I would have done this absolutely alone if I had to

because I am tough, but the compassion that I received from people I

had only met through email was more than I had ever expected. You

need to ask and see if a couple of people from this list will help

you. I would if I lived near you.

I hope you find the support you need. Good luck to you.

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Guest guest

,

There aren't any groups covering this topic. I would suggest

that you might think about starting a group like this. Anyone can

start a group.

As far as your friend is concerned he is either an

insensitive clod or terribly misinformed. You will not bleed or

leak while in his car post-op. And even if you were the exception

to the norm and bled a simple application of hydrogen peroxide will

quickly remove blood from upholstry. Now trying to diet his way

down 300 pounds is both admirable and entertaining. I think that

it is important to try a few diets before choosing wls. While the

odds are definitely against him losing that much let alone

maintaining the loss for more than a year is like one out of a

million. But he needs to go through this to see the light at the

end of the tunnel.

I too went it alone. However, it is not an easy road and it

would have been so much easier with a friend or family members

help.

I can offer some suggestions to make it a little easier on

you.

1. Rent or buy a recliner before going to the hospital and make

sure that it is centrally located in the house. Set up a table next

to it where you can put a few essential items (pain killers, vitamins

and water.)

2. Hire a companion in the hospital. You can get one as little as

four hours a day or as long as 24 hours. Mount Sanai is just not

set up to offer decent care on it's own. The companion will make it

possible for you to get the basics done(hygiene, walking,

straightening out the IV, getting the nurses to get the things you

need).

3. Get your vitamins before going into the hospital.

4. Depending upon your insurance Dr.Gagner can order a home health

aide for you following your discharge.

Please be aware that while you can do this alone, now would be a

good time to mend broken fences with old friends and family members.

Also be aware that co-workers may offer to help you out. You can take

their help without telling them what type of surgery you are having.

I still have not told most of my friends or any of my co-workers

but to tell you the truth they are starting to guess because I can't

eat more than 4 ounces of food.

> I, too, am going through WLS with virtually no support. I haven't

told

> any of my overweight hypercritical co-workers or family. Of my close

> friends, 2 have died within the past 18 months. Another, who weighs

> 450 lbs, recently suffered multiple pulmonary emboli associated with

> his use of an ACE inhibitor for blood pressure control. He is

> currently trying to diet off 300 lbs on a 2000 calorie a day diet.

His

> MD and I have both spoken to him about WLS, but he just isn't

> listening. Incidentally, prior to this experience, he refused to

pick

> me up at the hospital post surgery because I might bleed all over

his

> car. This from someone I have known for 30 years!! Another friend

> lives in the mid-west and is unable to come to NYC for my surgery

due

> to family problems. My sister and other relatives are notoriously

> unsupportive of anything I do. Their attitude is that since I never

> married, my life is worthless. Fortunately, I live in NYC, across

the

> street from a large grocery store containing a pharmacy where I am

> well known. I don't anticipate any problems with getting meds; the

> pharmacy will deliver if needed. Where can I sign up for the

> OSSG-Facing it alone list? Thanks for letting me vent. I hope your

> recovery continues to go smoothly.

>

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> ,

> There aren't any groups covering this topic. I would suggest

> that you might think about starting a group like this. Anyone can

> start a group.

I don't know why people think there are no groups on this subject. It

is called

<<OSSG-Facing-it-Alone>>.

This group has a very low level of activity; it deserves far more.

I am wanting to encourage all who feel alone to give the list a try.

I myself plan to stick with the group for some time to come, even

after my own

recovery is complete. I think it is therapeutic on both sides to

reach out to others.

Please join <<OSSG-Facing-It-Alone>>

Here is the URL: <<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/

OSSG-Facing-It-Alone>>

gobo

Lap DGB/Dr.

July 9, 2001

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