Re: Kathy -- Dealing with Negative Attitudes/People

[Guest guest]

> Hi Everybody,

> I have been trying for almost 3yrs to get surgery and

> I am finally going next month.

WOW! Congratulations. Your persistence is a fantastic example for

all pre-ops.

> I have been very scared

> and second guessing the whole thing because I'm high

> risk.

That's normal.

> I finally came to peace with it and I am ready

> to go ahead .

Excellent!

> Anyway I was talking to someone today and

> he was telling me not to have the surgery that all I

> have to do is not eat and my stomach will shrink

Yep. And someday monkeys will fly out of my butt!

> after a while my stomach will stretch out again anyway

> and I will gain my weight back.

Tell this guy to reach down and pull his head out of his distal

orifice -- his brain is obviously not getting enough oxygen.

> I don't want to get a taste of what life is and

> give it up again.I want to be able to get to the

> otherside of the rainbow and stay there.

You will. It's VERY difficult to regain any significant amount of

weight after the DS -- not impossible, but I think you'd really have

to work pretty hard at it.

> I keep thinking what if this does not work for me.

It will work for you.

> What do you tell people who are putting doubt out there , it

> happens all the time even from my family and I have

> had it.

This is a difficult issue, I know.

I have two strategies:

I have a very good friend who I just know would be very negative

about the surgery, because he comes from one of those families that

still believes a " real man " should be able to solve all his problems

on his own, etc.... Luckily for me, he's been extremely busy at a

new, high-stress job the past year. I say luckily for me because

his " busy-ness " has allowed me to avoid telling him about my

surgery. Someday I will have to tell him about it. At that point he

will either be supportive, or he will hold his tongue about his

opinion, or he will end our friendship.

That's strategy #1 -- Avoidance

The second strategy is confrontation.

When some bozo comes at you with negative crap, just tell him/her/it

nicely that you know much, much more about this subject than they do,

and you would appreciate it if they would simply keep their ignorant

opinions to themselves.

If that doesn't work, tell them that unless they learn to control

those big flapping holes below their noses, you (and your child) will

simply have to avoid seeing them until further notice.

Part of me feels really harsh saying this but, after years of therapy

with some very good shrinks, I have finally accepted that I deserve

the same chance at a real life as everyone else. And I cannot and

will not let anyone hold me down in the manure-filled ditch in which

I've lived my life for so long now -- regardless of how " caring "

their motives.

You deserve this chance too, Kathy. And you know you need to do

this -- for yourself and for your child. Don't let ANYONE stand in

your way.

Tom

Panniculectomy, Dr. Anthone, 11/10/2000

Open DS, Dr. Anthone, 03/30/2001

Goal: Lose 80% of Excess Weight

*******************************

* Starting Weight = 386 *

* " Ideal " Weight = 142 *

* =========================== *

* Total Excess Weight = 244 *

* 80% x Excess Weight = 201 *

* Goal Weight = 386-201 = 185 *

* =========================== *

* Total Needed to Lose = 201 *

* Loss To Date = 116 *

* =========================== *

* Remainder to Goal = 85 *

*******************************

Weight By Date:

11/10/2000 . . 386

03/30/2001 . . 360

04/19/2001 . . 338

05/03/2001 . . 328

05/18/2001 . . 316

06/03/2001 . . 301

06/15/2001 . . 299

06/25/2001 . . 293

07/03/2001 . . 286

07/16/2001 . . 278

07/23/2001 . . 276

07/30/2001 . . 275

08/06/2001 . . 272

08/13/2001 . . 270

USC DS Support Group: <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ds_usc>