Help! Scared of relapse

[Guest guest]

Hello, fellow DSers. I'm worried and I need advice--either toughtalk or

reassurance, whichever is appropriate.I had lap DS late January this year, and

my weight loss from the2ndweek has always been a pattern of long plateaus

followed by suddenrapid losses over 3-4 days.I've had complications: bacterial

overgrowth,abdominal pain,ulcers,severe diarrhea, rectal abcess and fistula from

recurrentdiarrhea,even when I avoided all trigger foods. I lost part of mysense

of smell and for the first few months NOTHING tasted good.I'm right on target

weight wise--1/2 of total goal amount (actuallythat happened a month early, but

I am on a plateau since then, whichcould be the usual 3-4 week plateau. ---Or is

it the beginning of thehard part of weight loss?) I've had depression due to all

the complications, missed work,bodychanges like falling hair and sagging skin,

etc. Also theloneliness of being stuck in a tiny town in the middle of

NOWHERE,where everybody at work knows of my surgery and no one is closeenough to

be a real friend. Many are not supportive, either, and thewomen arebeginnig to

avoid me as new " competition " . SIGGGHHH.. (I'mhere for a job, and it's a

close-knit rural area; I'll be movingsoon, I hope.) I recently went on Celexa

(antidepressant), which has suddenlyincreased my appetite, which, until now has

been no problem. I've been eating more carbs, and suddenly realized last night

that Ihad prepared myself a serving of potatoes equal to about 2 cups! Ididn't

eat it all--too full--but this is new in terms of portionsize, carb cravings,

etc. It's too close to my old pattern of lateevening carb consumption that

helped make me fat in the first place.I am afraid that the built-in appetite

suppression and portioncontrol days are over now, and with the Celexa, I'll stop

losing andstart overeating. My stomach seems to vary considerably in how muchit

will hold comfortably. It also seems to stretch pretty fast whenIdo eat too

much a few times in a row--that mopping up your platereflex thing where you eat

the last 2-3 bites because they're there,not because you want them.Please,

folks, tell me whether you experienced this 6-month turningpoint and whether you

had to actively control/measure your diet afterthat...was it permanent, or just

a phase? Women, if you have PMScarb cravings like I do every month, were you

able to maintain weightloss even if you overdid the carbs/portions for one week

a month? If I need a wake-up call, deal it out wih no mercy. I need

honesty.Also tips on how to cope/overcome.E-mail tao11@..., or answer

here.Thanks, Nurses, if you live in a nice city--or town near a city-- with

4seasons and a good nursing market, clue me in, okay? I am ready toresume my

life elsewhere.