Re: Letting go / To Francisco

[Guest guest]

Francisco i have never introduced myself. My name is Sheryll and i

am from Oklahoma. Ive been married for 26 yrs and have two grown

girls in college who are 19 and 23. I just wanted to say i so enjoy

your posts. Have you ever considered becoming a " Writer? " The Lord

has blessed you with expression of beautiful words. When i read your

posts its as if i am reading a novel. A very well written one at

that. I think God has something and someone very special for you in

mind. Keep up the good work and awesome posts. God Bless.

sheryll in Oklahoma

273/206/145ish

7/20/05

dr clark san diego

Lp RNY

> >

> > Francisco, I really enjoy reading your stories. Knowing they

are

> actually your life though, makes it even better. You are a true

> Wordsmith! I am happy that your meeting with Zach went as well as

it

> did though.

> >

> > Ron

> > Letting go

of

> Zach

> >

> >

> > Hello everyone:

> >

> > Zach, my ex and I met last night to settle the terms of our

> divorce.

> > It's not a divorce in the eyes of the law, but in my heart, I

> know

> > that I'm hurting.

> >

> > Last night was actually pleasant. Dare I say that we had a

good

> > time? There were so many times during the night that my

memories

> > were stirred-the memories of 11 years together.

> >

> > We met a 1 Post Street, across the street from Crocker

Galleria.

> > That address is Zach's old office. Just like he no longer

works

> > there, we are no longer a couple. We saw each other from

across

> the

> > street, and there was an awkward hello, each of us not knowing

> > whether to shake hands or hug. So we did neither.

> >

> > We walked to Kearny to catch the 15 to North Beach, but there

was

> a

> > water main break, and the traffic was a mess. We waited and

> waited.

> > Zach, a native of Taiwan, said, " There's the Orient Express, "

> making

> > reference to the 30 line that goes right through the heart of

> China

> > Town. I laughed, " Did you make up that name? " He said, " No,

all

> my

> > native San Franciscan co-workers know it by that name. "

> >

> > After another 15 minutes with traffic even more snarled, we

got

> on

> > an " Orient Express " and got off at Columbus and Stockton,

where

> China

> > Town meets Little Italy. We crossed Columbus to catch the 15,

> but

> > right behind us was " Z. Cioccolato-the Sweetest Place in North

> > Beach. " By this time, Zach and I were more at ease, the

> conversation

> > flowing between us easily. I noticed that our senses of humor

> were

> > still in synch, and we still knew just how to make the other

> laugh.

> > That collection of 11 years of shared experiences-that deep

> > connection-is, I now realize, what I miss the most. I miss

that

> > unspoken understanding that couples develop, the shared

language

> that

> > only those two share.

> >

> > We entered Z. Cioccolato and the woman who, two nights prior,

had

> > helped me pick out and wrap Chip's gift (the white chocolate

chip

> > macadamia nut fudge) recognized me. I said to her, " He loved

the

> > fudge. " She said, " I enjoyed wrapping it! The chocolate lips

in

> the

> > bow was a great suggestion. " By this time, Zach was looking

at

> the

> > display of some 30-odd different types of fudge, and at Z.

> > Cioccolato, they let you sample before you buy. He bought

> vanilla,

> > maple and tiger band (caramel, vanilla, chocolate and peanut

> > butter). It was actually like old times, shopping together,

> talking

> > and laughing.

> >

> > When we finally got to my place, I had my dinner while Zach

> watched a

> > tape of Saturday Night Live and spent time petting and playing

> with

> > our kitty, Nandito. He spoke softly and tenderly to Nandito

in

> > Chinese, all that loving, little baby talk that I hadn't heard

in

> > such a long time. He called him by his Chinese name, Xiao Lao

Hu-

> > Little Tiger. And then I heard him say in English, " Daddy

misses

> > you. Do you miss Daddy? " I could see from where I was that

> Nandito

> > was resting his head on Zach's thigh, looking up at him. " You

> > haven't forgotten me, have you, Xiao Lao Hu? " I could hear

> Nandito

> > purring the loud and rumbling purr of a happy cat.

> >

> > Eva Longoria was the host of Saturday Night Live, and here's

> where

> > our new, separate lives came into the picture. Zach

> > watches " Desperate Housewives. " I've never seen the show, and

I

> > didn't know that he watches it.

> >

> > Nandito decided to use the litter box for number two. I

> > said, " That's his new trick. He waits until I come home to do

> that.

> > It never fails. He must hold it all day. " Just then, as the

> > Littermaid Litterbox started making its noises to clean

itself,

> Eva

> > Longoria was doing a fake commercial, talking about a joke

> product

> > called " Firmium, the best diarrhea medicine in Hollywood. "

She

> > talked about how, as a Hollywood Star, it was important not

> to " let

> > your fudgy hostages free " and the difficulties with " chocolate

> > drizzles. " By this time, Zach and I were laughing hard.

> >

> > Nandito had just stunk up the place, and here was this

beautiful

> > woman on TV joking about diarrhea. She was trying not to

laugh

> as

> > the audience went wild with laughter. Then she said, " During

> almost

> > the entire first season of Desperate Housewives, I was human

> espresso

> > machine. " And she went on the say that it's difficult to do a

> sexy

> > love scene when you're afraid of releasing your chocolate

> submarines.

> >

> > We were laughing so hard that Zach had to get out his inhaler.

> >

> > I dropped Zach off in Japantown, one our old haunts. As I

> watched

> > him cross the street in my rearview mirror, I wondered, " Will

he

> be

> > having dinner at Osakaya? Will he be eating alone? " And then

I

> > couldn't see him anymore, and I was jolted back into the

> > present. " It's none of my business anymore, " I said to myself

as

> I

> > drove off.

> >

> > I was glad to know that Zach is doing well, that he's managed

> quite

> > well without me. As the former care-taker, people pleaser

that I

> had

> > always been, I was riddled with guilt when I had finally broke

> things

> > off. I worried about how he would make it without me. I

worried

> > about how I would make it without him. We've both come out

the

> other

> > end of all that pain and suffering still liking each other,

but

> > knowing that our lives needed to go in different directions.

> >

> > I still love him, and I always will in a way. I wish him the

> best,

> > and I'm glad that, while painful, the truth is that we are

better

> > apart. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do for someone

is

> to

> > let them go.

> >

> > I really need to go for a run to clear my head.

> >

> > Thanks for reading.

> >

> > Francisco

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Sheryll:

Thanks for your support. Sometimes I think I might enjoy being a

writer. I know that I get so much benefit from writing down what I'm

going through on this site.

Thanks for introducing yourself. From your stats, it looks like

you've done really well with gastric bypass surgery.

You keep up the good work too.

I wish you blessings too.

Francisco

> > >

> > > Francisco, I really enjoy reading your stories. Knowing they

> are

> > actually your life though, makes it even better. You are a true

> > Wordsmith! I am happy that your meeting with Zach went as well

as

> it

> > did though.

> > >

> > > Ron

> > > Letting go

> of

> > Zach

> > >

> > >

> > > Hello everyone:

> > >

> > > Zach, my ex and I met last night to settle the terms of our

> > divorce.

> > > It's not a divorce in the eyes of the law, but in my heart, I

> > know

> > > that I'm hurting.

> > >

> > > Last night was actually pleasant. Dare I say that we had a

> good

> > > time? There were so many times during the night that my

> memories

> > > were stirred-the memories of 11 years together.

> > >

> > > We met a 1 Post Street, across the street from Crocker

> Galleria.

> > > That address is Zach's old office. Just like he no longer

> works

> > > there, we are no longer a couple. We saw each other from

> across

> > the

> > > street, and there was an awkward hello, each of us not

knowing

> > > whether to shake hands or hug. So we did neither.

> > >

> > > We walked to Kearny to catch the 15 to North Beach, but there

> was

> > a

> > > water main break, and the traffic was a mess. We waited and

> > waited.

> > > Zach, a native of Taiwan, said, " There's the Orient Express, "

> > making

> > > reference to the 30 line that goes right through the heart of

> > China

> > > Town. I laughed, " Did you make up that name? " He said, " No,

> all

> > my

> > > native San Franciscan co-workers know it by that name. "

> > >

> > > After another 15 minutes with traffic even more snarled, we

> got

> > on

> > > an " Orient Express " and got off at Columbus and Stockton,

> where

> > China

> > > Town meets Little Italy. We crossed Columbus to catch the

15,

> > but

> > > right behind us was " Z. Cioccolato-the Sweetest Place in

North

> > > Beach. " By this time, Zach and I were more at ease, the

> > conversation

> > > flowing between us easily. I noticed that our senses of

humor

> > were

> > > still in synch, and we still knew just how to make the other

> > laugh.

> > > That collection of 11 years of shared experiences-that deep

> > > connection-is, I now realize, what I miss the most. I miss

> that

> > > unspoken understanding that couples develop, the shared

> language

> > that

> > > only those two share.

> > >

> > > We entered Z. Cioccolato and the woman who, two nights prior,

> had

> > > helped me pick out and wrap Chip's gift (the white chocolate

> chip

> > > macadamia nut fudge) recognized me. I said to her, " He loved

> the

> > > fudge. " She said, " I enjoyed wrapping it! The chocolate

lips

> in

> > the

> > > bow was a great suggestion. " By this time, Zach was looking

> at

> > the

> > > display of some 30-odd different types of fudge, and at Z.

> > > Cioccolato, they let you sample before you buy. He bought

> > vanilla,

> > > maple and tiger band (caramel, vanilla, chocolate and peanut

> > > butter). It was actually like old times, shopping together,

> > talking

> > > and laughing.

> > >

> > > When we finally got to my place, I had my dinner while Zach

> > watched a

> > > tape of Saturday Night Live and spent time petting and

playing

> > with

> > > our kitty, Nandito. He spoke softly and tenderly to Nandito

> in

> > > Chinese, all that loving, little baby talk that I hadn't

heard

> in

> > > such a long time. He called him by his Chinese name, Xiao

Lao

> Hu-

> > > Little Tiger. And then I heard him say in English, " Daddy

> misses

> > > you. Do you miss Daddy? " I could see from where I was that

> > Nandito

> > > was resting his head on Zach's thigh, looking up at

him. " You

> > > haven't forgotten me, have you, Xiao Lao Hu? " I could hear

> > Nandito

> > > purring the loud and rumbling purr of a happy cat.

> > >

> > > Eva Longoria was the host of Saturday Night Live, and here's

> > where

> > > our new, separate lives came into the picture. Zach

> > > watches " Desperate Housewives. " I've never seen the show,

and

> I

> > > didn't know that he watches it.

> > >

> > > Nandito decided to use the litter box for number two. I

> > > said, " That's his new trick. He waits until I come home to

do

> > that.

> > > It never fails. He must hold it all day. " Just then, as the

> > > Littermaid Litterbox started making its noises to clean

> itself,

> > Eva

> > > Longoria was doing a fake commercial, talking about a joke

> > product

> > > called " Firmium, the best diarrhea medicine in Hollywood. "

> She

> > > talked about how, as a Hollywood Star, it was important not

> > to " let

> > > your fudgy hostages free " and the difficulties

with " chocolate

> > > drizzles. " By this time, Zach and I were laughing hard.

> > >

> > > Nandito had just stunk up the place, and here was this

> beautiful

> > > woman on TV joking about diarrhea. She was trying not to

> laugh

> > as

> > > the audience went wild with laughter. Then she said, " During

> > almost

> > > the entire first season of Desperate Housewives, I was human

> > espresso

> > > machine. " And she went on the say that it's difficult to do

a

> > sexy

> > > love scene when you're afraid of releasing your chocolate

> > submarines.

> > >

> > > We were laughing so hard that Zach had to get out his

inhaler.

> > >

> > > I dropped Zach off in Japantown, one our old haunts. As I

> > watched

> > > him cross the street in my rearview mirror, I wondered, " Will

> he

> > be

> > > having dinner at Osakaya? Will he be eating alone? " And

then

> I

> > > couldn't see him anymore, and I was jolted back into the

> > > present. " It's none of my business anymore, " I said to

myself

> as

> > I

> > > drove off.

> > >

> > > I was glad to know that Zach is doing well, that he's managed

> > quite

> > > well without me. As the former care-taker, people pleaser

> that I

> > had

> > > always been, I was riddled with guilt when I had finally

broke

> > things

> > > off. I worried about how he would make it without me. I

> worried

> > > about how I would make it without him. We've both come out

> the

> > other

> > > end of all that pain and suffering still liking each other,

> but

> > > knowing that our lives needed to go in different directions.

> > >

> > > I still love him, and I always will in a way. I wish him the

> > best,

> > > and I'm glad that, while painful, the truth is that we are

> better

> > > apart. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do for

someone

> is

> > to

> > > let them go.

> > >

> > > I really need to go for a run to clear my head.

> > >

> > > Thanks for reading.

> > >

> > > Francisco

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >