heather/ my thoughts.

[Guest guest]

Hi .. I hope my following comments will help you

>

> The closer that I get to the possibility of surgery the more scared

I get.

**This is normal.. we all feel scared at some point.

> The thought of complications> during and after the procedure scares

me to death, so I haven't made

a consult > appt. yet.

** This is very personal.. it sounds like your current health

situation is more complicated and dangerous than side effects of the

surgery.. but you have to make your own decision and peace with this

part.. is the other side of the fence truely greener?

I'm also afraid I'll have to be off from work for more days than I>

have for sick leave. I don't know how to handle that. I know some

of you have> suggested that I look into disability, so I did, but

learned that I don't have > short-term coverage. I can't afford to

take leave without pay.

** Most people have some vacation to use.. you need to discuss this

with your employer, that you are having necessary surgery (dont feel

the need to be too descriptive if you dont want) and you want to make

sure your position is secure. Federal law prohibits employers from

firing you if your out for serious medical issues, so dont worry about

that part.. but the money is something you will have to arrange or

save up for.. possibly a small loan to keep in your savings account in

the event you are out longer than you thought. You pay back what you

dont use right away and its there just in case.

Also, I work > for a church and we are terribly understaffed, and just

last week my senior> co-worker put in her two week notice. So there

is no way I can take a full > month any time this year. But maybe by

next year the new person will be broken> in well enough for me to be

off for a while. Another thing that you'll have to work out.. I dont

know where you live, but generally takes at least 2-3 months to get

approved and scheduled for surgery.. at least. Ive been waiting a

year..

> I'm also wrestling with whether I truly need to have this surgery.

I'm feeling> a lot of guilt about my relationship with food..

** you need to answer this yourself.. we all have a bad relationship

with food, or we wouldnt be fat. .stop being so hard on yourself. You

just dont have the right tool to fight the battle with, yet. You

certainly do not put out a fire with gasoline, and that's excactly

what traditional dieting does to our bodies.. makes the problem worse.

>

> But seriously, I truly do feel horrible all the time. It

> gets old.

** its old that any of us have to lug around all this extra weight

without the aerobic capacity to do so.

>

> It looks like a " no-brainer " when I list all the co-morbids, but

that voice

> keeps saying to me " It's your fault, you eat too much, you shouldn't

have to

> resort to surgery, if you had more will power you wouldn't be this

fat, you

> could go on a diet and exercise and you'd loose weight the 'regular'

way. " And

> then I wonder, " couldn't I just 'buckle up' and do the 'diet thing'

again? Do I

> really have to resort to permanently changing my digestive system

and putting

> myself at risk for complications? " The thing is if I don't do

something I can

> totally see myself just continuing to gain weight and eventually

have a much,

> much higher BMI with a lot more health problems, and so far I

haven't been

> successful with dieting and exercise.

** If you do what you've always done, you will get what you've always

gotten..

>

> And lastly, I am wondering... right now, pre-op, I have *terrible*

sugar and

> other carb cravings and can't resist eating them even though I know

I shouldn't.

** I have heard from most people that your appetite totally changes

after surgery. You do not have the capacity to eat much after surgery,

and your body will demand you feed it what makes you feel good...

usually protein, then veggies, then carbs. Once you are full

recovered, you can eat your carbs in moderation.

** this is a huge decision that only you can make for

yourself. I personally am comfortable with the 'what ifs' because I am

so tired of being unhealthy and wearing circus tents for clothes. I

used to be healthy and pretty and active and fun. I want that again.

I am unable to maintain a diet and exercise program that supports a

150 pound me. I love food and I work on computers for a living, so I

have a double whammy. Whatever the reasons are that im fat (bmi 51),

I am choosing a new tool to circumvent the 'cavewoman' metabolism I

have. Nothing in life is risk free.. not driving a car, not eatin raw

oysters, not having babies, not pracicing a religion that others find

different from their own.. nothing is without risk. What makes the

risks acceptable is what you will gain from taking that risk and

winning. Reduce your chances of dying early from diabetes, heart

disease, colon or breast cancer. Lose the weight the healthiest way

you can. We are here for you whatever decision you make..

Love, Sue

bmi 51

DS with Dr. Booth, Warden or Kim

Ocean Sps, Mississippi

9/11/01 - preop