heart and hunger cravings

[Guest guest]

I'm really struggling today.

I'm at the office, and there are chocolate cookies and fudge in the

break room. I've really had to tell myself over and over that I

don't need to eat them.

And I'm so tempted. So I've been doing one of my " eccentric "

techniques that has been helping. So here's my confession about what

it is: I go in the break room. I look at the food I don't need, and

I repeat, " I don't need this right now. "

Then I take the portion that I would normally eat (I've done this

several times today because there is tons of stuff in there, and in

the past, I would have eaten a huge portion of food like that), and I

wrap it in a paper towel, and crush it in my hands. Then I throw it

out in the trash thinking, " It's going to eventually end up in the

landfill or the sewer. It does not have to go through me. "

OK, I feel a little better. Those little victories bolster my

confidence.

I'm not sure where this craving came from. Maybe it has to do with

all the introspection I've been doing. Maybe it's my heart being

tussled around. Philippe is over, but I've already been on two dates

with a new guy, Dan. And Dan seems like a really nice guy… very

sweet. The dynamic between Philippe and me was all moon beams and

romance (not necessarily bad), but with Dan, there is a calmness.

Philippe was like a gale force wind, whereas Dan feels like a warm

tropical breeze. I'm enjoying the more relaxed feeling I'm getting

from Dan. Melting in his arms last night made me feel safe and

secure. We held each other and rocked back and forth as he ran his

fingers through my hair. I get relaxed and sleepy just thinking

about it.

So… I'm still thinking about my response about how to fill the void,

Lilka. Hopefully, I'll have a coherent response to that one soon.

But, for now, I've beaten the craving monster, and I'm feeling better.

Thanks for listening. I think my cravings will always be tied to my

emotions. At least now I have some coping skills that help me though

the rough times.

Francisco