Think about this, guys- its very relevant sometimes..(CP)

[Guest guest]

I found this on one of my " other " lists.. and I'm going to try and

keep this in my head when I get to worrying...

Enjoy-

Hugs,

Liane

Greetings Friends:

This letter / thought was initially spurred on in relation to

something I have been hearing women being told for all of my WLS days

and culminated the other day at a support group meeting I spoke at.

Additionally, it does go out to ALL of us in theory. First off, for

years now I have been hearing that " woman do not lose as fast as men " .

I heard it before Weight Loss Surgery and I certainly hear it at just

about every group I attend. YET...I sit and read posts, listen to

people share at meetings and I am TOTALLY AMAZED at the weight that

people are losing and the rapidity they are doing it with. Yes, I have

lost a huge amount of weight and had a huge amount to lose but I have

to tell you, I did not lose at the level some of you have and are.

Yesterday, a woman stood up and just about apologized; she was 30 days

Post Op and had " ONLY " lost 25 pounds. Folks, this was not an

extremely large woman to start with. ONLY!!! What kind of message or

expectation are we setting up for ourselves here? Another woman shared

that she lost 135 pounds in about 6 months with 26 more to go; and she

was a bit frustrated....thought she was doing something wrong. A

gentleman got up and very gingerly went to the podium and spoke. He

was 63 years old, still very heavy, and I figured his slow pace was

due to the weight. He started his sharing by saying how he felt soooo

tired, and was a bit shocked by it. THEN, he went on to say that he

was 2 WEEKS POST OP. I nearly keeled over. My cousin had to literally

kick my ass just to get me to just leave the apartment and walk along

my catwalk, and this gentleman was feeling surprised and a bit " less

than " because he was tired.

Friends....I feel we have a bit of an epidemic brewing here. I sat and

thought of how many major surgeries done in America have the level of

support groups, web sites, community, meetings and general sociability

and visibility that WLS does. The closest I could come up with was

cardiac surgery, and I assure you that they in no way place the

unrealistic and high expectations on themselves or fellow members that

we seem to. While I understand it, just think about how just about

everything we say is about our weights, how long it has taken us or

how short....how frustrated by not losing fast enough and to boot

.....then when we are losing the weights how we hate our bodies,

etc...etc. Whewwwwww.....this is just exhausting thinking about it. We

sit talking about plastic surgery like we are talking about a

television program. We have become the new " Survivor " show yet the

enormity of the operation sort of gets lost in the shuffle.

MAKE NO MISTAKE....WLS is a MAJOR PROCEDURE.

The fact that the man I spoke about even came to the support group

amazed me.....that he walked the way he did astounded me. The loss in

pounds looks much different when you make it a percentage.....NUMBERS

DO NOT LIE BUT THEY CAN DECEIVE. So...Ladies.....FORGET the concept

that you " do not lose as fast as men " ....what good does it serve you.

Friends...do not underestimate the initial toll this surgery takes on

your bodies...we are cut thru and thru and rebuilt internally. Of

course we are going to take time to heal....BE PATIENT.

PLEASE....trust all that have gone before you and use their success

stories as a foundation of faith and positivity....NOT comparison and

competition. We are inadvertantly programmed and programming ourselves

in what I consider to be a not so great direction. Example....can you

tell me that when someone shares the weight they have lost and the

time that it took you do not compare your own results??? LOL....in our

happiness and support for others we often wind up admonishing

ourselves. We are all doing great, we have shown courage, reflection,

commitment, perseverance, endurance, openmindedness, kindness to

ourselves and others in the support and sharing......so let's not

underestimate this procedure or our own successes.

Speech over.....

With Love....baron

RNY......4/29/98.....535lbs....(high 600)

Currently................197.......rofl.....SEE, I do it

myself.........