Re:Cynics

[Guest guest]

Jackie,

It isn't so much that I am offended by the cynisym that we all develop from time to time.

It is true that there are those that will always choose to "work the system."

Sadly, with chronic illness-- you get to see that and be treated as though you are one of the ones that gets to walk the distance because there aren't enough spots. You go into the MD's office, and they look at you like you must be nuts-- nothing is showing up on tests-- and yet you are sick.

Friends can't figure out why you cancel your lunch plans with them-- or you come to lunch, and need desperately to express your fear of the "what if" and "when" .. this disease will take your life-- and what you are really saying is that you don't want to ignore that you see your health deteriorating, and you just want them to know that if you were to die, that would be ok -- that you've made peace with the way things are-- and since they've not done that-- they don't want to hear that you have-- so they stop calling or coming by.

Then there are the days that you take a ride with a friend, and you take your placard, and they don't want to park in the spaces available, because they too can't handle that you don't look like you're hurting-- and you have to explain yourself again.

And again....

Yeah, it struck a cord-- and this is important for all of us-- because it is a fact that we will all come up against-- hopefully for those of you just newly diagnosed-- you'll have many years before this is an issue.

For those of us that have a long history of this disease-- we know the story, and we have had to fight even the ones we love the most- to have them understand that we need to park in the front row, or take along the oxygen so we can get thru the store without total exhaustion, or the first day that you pick up a cane, or find yourself going through the interview for an electric wheelchair, or have to use the powerchair shopping cart.

There is a pride of having to surrender-- once again. There is the sadness of having to ask again for help. There is the reality that you will explain these issues to all that you come into contact with-- over and over.

I realize that each of the tools we will use should be seen as a gift-- a way to keep some of our mobility and function. I also realize that each of these steps comes with grief-- of another piece of our life lost.

Sometimes we need wake-up calls so that we can move forward- and evolve into a more compassionate being-- and that means we have to show others how to not be so cynical.

Blessings to us all,

Tracie

NS Co-owner/moderator

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