Body Dismorphia--Kay

[Guest guest]

Kay:

Your experience sounds wonderful!

When I first started wearing my present size--M in shirt, 34 waist

pants (used to wear 3X-5X shirts, 54 waist)--I used to look at my

clothes and say to myself, " How in the heck do fit in this tiny

thing? "

I'm getting used to fitting in BART turnstiles, booths at restaurants

and rides in amusement parks, but reading posts like yours brings me

back to the joy of the first times, when it was all wonderful and all

new.

We should all remember these times of joy to help us through the

rough patches.

I'm so happy for you!

Francisco

> > Hi Everyone!

> > I have been reading all the posts as usual and haven't had much

> time

> > till now to write anything in response.

> > Congrats to all the new surgery dates and those just post op! How

> is

> > Sue doing? I haven't had a chance to scroll yet. I hope well!

> >

> > Anyway, I have a HUGE milestone to share, well three techincally.

> > This last weekend I was up in St Helena for a visit, though the

> > flooding was awful scary. Aside from that, when everyone was

dried

> > out and safe, Monday I went shopping downtown. If you haven't

been,

> > there are all these cute little boutique stores that I used to

> avoid

> > like crazy knowing full well there would not be anything in size

> > 28/30 there for me.

> > Here come the milestones!

> > First we went into a store that sold all kinds of clothing,

mostly

> > skirts and pants. I was feeling bold so I thought I would try on

a

> > pair of pants. I have just recently worked my way into size 12

> jeans.

> > These were 12's and I tried them on and they were big. I went

back

> to

> > get the 10's and stared at them thinking there is no way these

will

> > fit. ( I think I have body dismorphia the opposite way, I see

> > something smallish and think there is no way it will fit. Anyone

> else

> > have this problem? ) I went back into the dressing room and

thought

> > about all the previous times I tried on pants that ended up being

> too

> > small. The way you miraculiously " wish " they will fit when you

get

> > them up to your knees. Once I could get them up around my rear, I

> > thought there might be a glimmer of hope that I can pull them all

> the

> > way on. A little battle of the wills at the waist and they

buttoned

> > and I was able to zip them up easy as well! Ta da! size 10. Now I

> > couldn't have bent over to save my life in them, but they were

> zipped

> > up and I hadn't stopped breathing, so I bought them knowing in

> about

> > 2-3 weeks they will fit more comfortably. So my question is, does

> it

> > still count that I was in a size 10?? They are at home now in the

> > closet in any case! I keep looking at them in wonder! I am

wearing

> > them to Vegas in Feb for sure!

> >

> > Second milestone...

> > I did get a pair of Levi's in 10s and they fit now so I was

feeling

> > really optimistic and also got them in size 8. eeek!!!!

> > single digit pants? In my closet? Not since high school has that

> > happened! I didn't even dare try them on. They are exactly the

same

> > style as the 12's I have now and the 10's I just bought. I love

the

> > style since they aren't those low rise jeans. HATE those. All my

> skin

> > just hangs over the top. These are all mid-rise, totally doable.

> > Whew!

> >

> > Okay, on to number three milestone. ***Disclaimer*** If you are a

> > PETA believer/member, skip this part please!

> >

> > Further down the street there was this original designer fur

store

> > that has all kinds of lovely coats and jackets in it. I have

always

> > wanted a fur jacket but well, of course the size was an issue.

> > I was eyeing one jacket from the window in the display and my

> > husband said to just try it on. Well it looked small so I didn't

> want

> > to go in and bother the sales person. He talked me into going in

> > finally and when I tried the sheepskin jacket on with fox trimmed

> > hood I couldn't believe it fit! The sales lady said it was a size

> 8.

> > Well it was a tight 8 but it still fit. They must run large! It

> > zipped up and the pockets weren't buldging! It was completely

> > reversable and the part that was not the stenciled side where the

> > sheepskin was fit better, so I will wear it that way for awhile.

> Two

> > coats for the price of one, and not to mention the fact that I

just

> > purchased something in the store window??? I have NEVER in my

life

> > been able to walk by a store and see what I liked in the window

and

> > have it fit.

> >

> > My husband said it was my reward for all the hard work I have

done

> > and I have only 40ish more to lose till I am at goal, so even at

> goal

> > weight it will still look great! He is so proud of me and I am

> super

> > proud of myself so he said this will always be the reminder. He

is

> so

> > sweet!

> >

> > To think that just a year ago I would have NEVER in a million

years

> > wanted to go shopping in boutiques to now looking forward to my

> next

> > trip? I know this is the completely materialistic side of the

plus

> of

> > having the surgery, but thanks for reading it anyway.

> > I have been so blessed to have a healthy life now post surgery I

am

> > truly thankful everyday that I wake up that I had a pretty

> > uncomplicated time of recovery.

> >

> > Of course those here on this board were a HUGE help to me as well!

> > Thanks Shell for making this a great and safe place to come to!

> >

> > Take care,

> > Kay

> > 336/290/180/? (weight hasn't moved in two weeks :-( but went down

> > another pant size so I must be doing something right still!)

> > 6/28/05- Dr Baggs surgery- First day of the rest of my life!

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >