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[Guest guest]

hi i don't know how to deal with this my partner and i exchanged

rings on April 20/03 and i am scared to call him my husband as i

feel i will jinx my relationship and he is my b/f along with being

my partner and husband. as i was married 2 other times and before

the weddings things went good but after i almost died at their hands

it seemed like when they got the word they were my husband and i was

their wife then it gave them permission to do it as a wife in their

eyes were a possession to deal with and 'a man can beat his

belongings with a rod the size of his thumb' and they did i know D.

wouldn't do it as he is too kind and wears his heart on his sleeve,

but i do have that fear and with my ex [told me if i ever got

married again he would kill both of us and he is scizo and really

crimally dangerous] and his ex [wants him in jail for no reason as

she has tired many things from saying he sexually assualted her when

he wasn't even in town to signing their 4 month old baby away when

he was in jail for her lies and said he abandonded them which he is

fighting for her in courts]. but i know i call him my partner or b/f

in groups and have people against me as i know it isnt' in God's

eyes to live together without marriage between us but we had the

pastor and 4 other people witnessing it but haven't had a party, to

celebrate it or haven't denied it we just started to live together

as man & wife afterward, and if there wasn't a marriage then we

would have had to leave the church but i don't feel alot need to

know till we are done the court stuff. and also i am scared to tell

alot and he doesn't want me saying his name on the net so i call him

my partner or b/f or D. but i am [not from this group] getting

people calling me a lier and don't know how to handle it i left the

groups for quite awhile and wish i never came back to some. am glad

i have gotten some friends back but unfortunately i am human and

have fears and don't like being threatened by ANYONE and may leave

the groups again if the threats don't stop and will report to the

authorities. if anyone has any help or suggestions that are

constructive i would appreciate them but i HAVE ENOUGH NEGATIVE and

don't want anyone elses as it doesn't do my MS any good and the

specialists say i DO HAVE primary progressive MS but due to my heart

muscles and other interiors being weakened that is were the meds

seem to attack instead of helping and have developed more leasions

on the brain and spinal cord in the past 6 months and it is due to

the stress and other physical, emotional and mental reasons. that is

why i have changed all my eating habbits but it is so hard as i have

given up salt, processed foods, dairy, pork, and addatives but also

don't know where to find good recepies for a limited diet choice.

anwya talk tomorrow. k.