more about spouses

[Guest guest]

Hello to All,

First of all, i would like to thank everyone who answered my post about

spouses and the ds. You all sent me so much support and good ideas, I'll

have lots to think about. The thing is, my husband doesn't deny that the

surgery could/would be a good thing for me. He is just unable to deal with

his fears for the operation itself, for my recovery and for the rest of out

life together. One of the things that has bonded us together was the fact

that we both grew up obese. I grew up with alot of guilt about that fact,

while he did not, even though we were both treated with the unfeelingness

that some people have towards towards the obese in our life time.

What my husband (and I) would like to know is this:

If both you and your spouse are MO or even just Obese, how does the wls

affect you and your spouses life afterwards? My husband has alot of fears

for the future...I think he feels that food won't be a common denominator

anymore. We enjoy eating out and snacking together, and even though I am

trying to reassure him that I will still want to do so, just that I will not

be eating as much, he doesn't think that it will be the same (which of

course, it won't, to some extent, but I told him I enjoy going to dinner

because I love his company, the food is secondary. He doesn't buy it.)

Also, I think he is afraid I might get thin and leave him because he is

still MO. No matter how I try to reassure him, and he says he believes me,

deep down inside he still has that fear.

Another thing is that he feels helpless about the operation and my

recovery. I can do varioys thing to prepare myseld for surgery, but he

can't control this situation and it bothers him alot.

Lastly, I feel there is a bit of jealousy there. He is only human. I

know that if he were to lose a large amount of weight and I didn't, I would

probably feel the same to some extent.

So, guys and gals, any insight on married life after wls would be deeply

appreciated. I told my husband, Rich, that I would post this question

because he is anxious to see how others in out situation have dealt with

this (successfully, I hope)

Thanks for all your words of wisdom , and for your support and love,

sincerely,

denise in ny

dr gagner

sept 10

bmi 62

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